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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Is it possible to ever date again... being a single woman with 8 chil      Home login  
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 texasbaby
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 7
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Is it possible to ever date again... being a single woman with 8 children? (Only two are at home)Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Wow, eight kids, two still at home! I can relate, to some degree, even though your situation is somewhat different from mine. I have seven kids, four still at home and I'm older than you.
But, I have to be honest and tell you, for me, finding someone to date is very difficult. Regardless of how awesome I am, as a person, I simply have way too much "baggage" for most fifty-ish men.
I find men in this age group often feel they have done their time raising kids and want to live an adults only lifestyle now. Most have made their niche in life, they have nice homes, big boy toys, friends, hobbies.
Most are not looking for a cook and homemaker, but a companion with similar goals, time, interests, financial security and freedom.
I think it's great that you have a positive self image and I'm not saying you should give up on the idea of finding someone, you might and that would be wonderful.
But, I disagree with the happily ever after idea that there is someone for everyone. That is simply untrue. We make choices and decisions throughout our lives that continue to effect our situation and will influence the outcome of our lives until we die.
Still, I wish you the best of luck in your quest, I hope you find that rare man you are seeking and have a great life.

tb
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 8
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Is it possible to ever date again... being a single woman with 8 children? (Only two are at home)
Posted: 10/5/2008 8:29:12 AM
I am sure there are men out there that would date you. But another marriage? Unlikely.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 11
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Is it possible to ever date again... being a single woman with 8 children? (Only two are at home)
Posted: 10/9/2008 7:35:29 PM
You would probaby be better off mentioning that you only have two children still at home and you might also want to ditch the comments about the maids and nannies, many men see that as implying that you want only a man that can afford to keep you in hired help. Your focus on your home-making skills instead of telling folks what you like to do suggests that you are automatically looking for husband #4.

Try reworking the profile and letting people see the fun you and not so much the I could be an asset to our life you.
 corinnethewriter
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 16
Is it possible to ever date again... being a single woman with 8 children? (Only two are at home)
Posted: 10/12/2008 10:32:47 AM
I am a single parent myself. I guess I never really looked at it from the aspect of a guy wanting an instant family because I have the assumption that anybody who wants to talk to me has to accept my child. True enough, it's a little easier to do if there's just one of them. But, if you find someone who loves you for you and wants what you want, your family will be welcomed.

Personally, my main concern is not whether or not a man will be turned off by the fact that I have a child. My main concern is should this person even be around my child? I had a date today but won't go because I have no one to keep my child. I just don't think that I should be bringing people I date around her.
 dkmh51
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 20
Is it possible to ever date again... being a single woman with 8 children? (Only two are at home)
Posted: 10/31/2008 8:53:22 PM
As a single dad I can appreciate the situation you face trying to date and having so many kids. Your comments about the importance of kids and family is encouraging. I also agree with the post that indicated men may have a lack of confidence in your decision making ability. As a means of constructive criticism not judging you at all, I read your profile and immediately noticed your indulgence in alcohol more than 3 times a week. My ex is an alcoholic and hasn't seen our daughter in years. You may find it easier to make good decisions and meet quality people by loosing the dependence on alcohol and focusing on the many positives in your life and those you have to offer someone. As the old saying goes accentuate the positive. I also found it a big help for me to establish new relationships with people that had what I wanted, instead of those who like me talked aobut what I wanted and never did anything to achieve it.

Good luck and God Bless.
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