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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Women going to bars alone      Home login  
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 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 5
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Women going to bars alonePage 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Personally, I would think it was odd... I would be wondering what her motivation was... either she's there to hook up, or she's an alcoholic...
You're absolutely right ... men who go to bars are never just there looking for a "hook up" ... and certainly are not "alcoholic".

The only ones who would ever do such a thing are ... JUST WOMEN ...

OP ...
I didn't know it was "taboo" for a woman to go to a bar by herself. It has never stopped me from doing so. I won't deny that I do get approached every once in a while, but only by the losers who are in there looking for a "hook up" and acting like "alcoholics". Now remember, men never go to bars by themself for that reason ... right?.

LMAO ... even the regular patrons at the bar will tell you who they (the losers) are ... if you ask in nice way ...

It's 2008 ... feel free to go out by yourself and just sit there and enjoy the music ... and do some people watching. Just be safe ... and don't go home with any of the local losers just out looking for a "hook up" or who might be "alcoholic". Oh what am I saying ... only women do that ... right?
 bellazingara
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 6
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/8/2008 10:49:24 PM

I would be wondering what her motivation was... either she's there to hook up, or she's an alcoholic...


Wow....I didn't realize those were the only reasons to go to a bar...guess I have a lot to learn! Are women also not supposed to dine in a restaurant or go to a movie solo? No wonder so many of us are single...who knew!
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 13
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 6:04:14 AM
If it is what you enjoy doing, then go. It does not mean anything, except that maybe you wanted to get out and there you are. I personally do not really enjoy bars, and not just because I do not drink; the environment is normally not to fun. But that is me. People hook up anywhere. I get hit on at the gym a lot, chances are I would get laid there faster than in a bar, but I am not in the gym to hook up either! Go have fun do what you want just be careful. I spend a lot of time alone, including going to dinner. At least the company is safe..:)
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 14
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 6:08:44 AM
I'm a Karaoke singer ... I go to Karaoke places by myself. Once I get up to sing ... I'm not alone for very long. Other singers invite me to join them and are eager to have me join them on future nights.

Even when I'm not asked to join other singers ... I'm still always treated with respect and have even just been sitting there and someone who enjoyed a song I sang ... will send a drink to the table.

We put off "aura" when we're out. If you're looking to "hook up" ... whether you broadcast it verbally or not ... it will be plastered all over you. If you're just out to enjoy the evening ... it will show and you will generally have a good time.

Go out and enjoy yourself and don't let some "loser" statement keep you from going out alone ... it's 2008.
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 15
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 8:23:39 AM
I see nothing wrong with it-depends on how you carry yourself and all...otherwise, why the worry?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 17
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 11:03:46 AM

I would like to know what everyone thinks of women who may go to a bar by themselves....I sometimes do not have anyone to go out with and would love to go and get a drink at a local bar, listen to some music and hopefully engage in some nice conversations and meet some new friends.

Girl, this is 2008. First of all, you have every right to go out no matter alone or with company and enjoy a place if you want to. Second, who cares what people think? Most of em would probably admire you for having the guts to go do something without a chaperone.

I go everywhere alone - movies, bars, clubs, the longer I do it, the more I prefer it. You don't have to worry about someone else's drama when you go alone. Come when you want, leave when you want, spend what you want, talk to who you want - it's quite awesome.

My question is...is it still taboo for women to go to a bar by herself without looking like she is out to hook up with someone. Or is it more acceptable now days?

It's never been taboo for a woman to do this as far as I remember. Men will approach because they think you need company which can be annoying (and strange, since most of them are alone too and they're ok), and you can tell the ones you're not interested in "no thanks", you are just there to enjoy the band/DJ/atmosphere/people watching.

Personally, I would think it was odd... I would be wondering what her motivation was... either she's there to hook up, or she's an alcoholic...

Apparently some men are still living in the dark ages. Don't pay 'em any mind...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 20
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:36:16 PM

I would be wondering what her motivation was

Ummm...have a beer and a burger? Talk to old friends or make new ones? Learn about a community? Enjoy a band, a DJ or Karaoke singing? Play pool? Watch the NASCAR truck race on big screen TV?
Unfortunately the quoted poster is an example of a common mindset. Personally, I don't give a rat's rear end what anybody thinks,if there's something going on at a bar that I want to enjoy, I damn well go. I've never had any problems with disrespect from either gender.
Cindy O
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:44:25 PM
^^^Cindy, you know what's funny? At this point in my life, instead of trying not to worry what people think, I go a step further and do things like this in hopes that there are people that find it odd. Maybe they lose a couple days scratching their balls over it. I figure if all I do is blend in with everyone else, what's the point of going?

I like to make people wonder what I'm doing - keeps em on their toes. And if someone is THAT fascinated by what I am doing in a public place, I'm glad I could entertain them - obviously life's pretty dull.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 22
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 1:07:04 PM
DJChickie401
Abso freakin lutely!
Very possibly it's because I am a friendly and pleasant person,however, a friendly and pleasant person who looks like she could benchpress a 1958 Chrysler(According to one of the "redneck" comedians ,one should NEVER offend a lady who looks like she could bench press a 1958 Chrysler) I have not as yet ever had to deal with disrespect from anybody. Of course, I pretty much stick to the small town local places, or am there for a purpose...friends playing music, friends playing in a pool tournament, a special event. I don't know as I 'd just go sit in a bar and deal with noise and smoke for the mere purpose of drinking because I had nothing better to do with my time.
Cindy O
 homerick
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 23
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 1:58:54 PM
You see this in my parts all the time. I don't think twice about it. Some people need a drink every once in a while. Just be careful. There's alot of creeps out there.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 24
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 2:32:25 PM
I have been to bars by myself, not for hooking up, and I'm not an alkie. But I have killed time there before meeting someone or going to a concert or something--it's safe, clean, has a TV, often a good atmosphere. I see nothing wrong with it--belly up to the bar, smile at the people next to you and start a convo. If they're into it, they'll let you know.

You're too old to care what others may think is "tabu" in society, aren't you?
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 28
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/9/2008 5:31:56 PM
Just GO! The only opinion of you that matters, is yours.


and


~ds~
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 35
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:45:09 PM
I think it is fine if a woman goes to a bar alone, but honestly it wouldn't be easy. I don't think it is any easier now, and I do think a lot of people would think she was just trying to hook up with someone. I think they would think the same thing about a man.

I really don't think a bar is even a good place to met people.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 36
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:51:28 PM
I say go for it. For me, anyway, its the only way to go. I go to people-watch and also to watch ballgames.

If I go with another woman, we dont get spoken to at all. If I go with a friend who's a guy, people think I'm already hooked up. And this way, you dont have to worry about when (or how) anyone else wants to go home, when you're ready you just go. I really dont see what anyone is so bothered about. Until I am with someone, I live my life alone, and that includes going out to watch a game or something every now and then.
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 37
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/12/2008 8:19:05 AM
I've been a bartender for 28 years. It's really common these days for women to come in alone for a few drinks, conversation and maybe a few dances. They are a target to some degree for men on the prowl, but ultimately they control their own destiny. If they're known to leave with a man on occasion, the prowlers will make the effort. If they have a reputation for just coming in to have some fun and leave alone, then they tend to attract attention from the guys who are just looking for conversation and a dance.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 38
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/12/2008 8:55:57 AM
I say go for it. For me, anyway, its the only way to go. I go to people-watch and also to watch ballgames.

If I go with another woman, we dont get spoken to at all. If I go with a friend who's a guy, people think I'm already hooked up.

This made me laugh. I like to go out and people watch, and at times I like to hit a bar and watch games, but my problem is a plethura of men asking why I am alone, asking if I need company, etc etc - and I really don't. I don't always want to chat, but I do like the atmosphere of a crowded bar. I am totally content in a crowd observing without interacting....its like watching a movie for me.

However it's annoying to have to go with other people because then you deal with the issues they're having - they're bored, they're tired, they don't like the music, they don't feel good, want to stay longer than me, want to leave before I do, they're too drunk, they can't believe how much the drinks cost, yadda yadda, and that thing I really hate which is having to almost entertain them rather than watch the crowd or the game or just "be" and listen to the music. I can sit in a room without talking at all but most I know can't manage it.

I was thinking I need to find someone I can bring so I don't get approached by strangers, but who won't talk to me themselves. Hmmm....of course that won't be possible, but I'd love it....
 SamuraiPixie
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 42
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/13/2008 2:15:14 PM
In this day and age, and with all the freaky people out there, it probably wouldn't be a wise choice, however, it would depend largely on the neighborhood, you're in... I wouldn't go into a dive bar alone, but I might go down the Mariott and have a Cosmo or a Sea Breeze or a glass of Port if I was in the area and the mood struck me...

Suz
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 47
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:18:11 AM
^^^That's the truth.

I think if you feel uncomfortable it's more that it's something you're not used to than who's thinking what. Just do it till it feels natural, like everything else.

And tell the men who approach you that you CAN be alone and STILL want to be left alone. If you're sitting at the bar it won't get past the staff if that guy doesn't like your answer. They'll deal with him.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 53
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/18/2008 6:14:45 AM

(enter a bar alone ) eeeek....


love toget back to a bit of living but its just as lonely as staying home......

It's been my observation that women with this kind of mindset( women don't do anything alone) are the ones that end up in "desperation" "better than nothing" relationships/marriages.
I'm not suggesting that "bars" are the only place to make friends/meet dating prospects...if you have problems with smoke/noise/recovering from alcohol addiction, they probably are OOTQ(out of the question). But then you have to look for other options to get out and "live", and you have to be willing to at least get started by going ALONE.
Cindy O
 daisymoon
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 54
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/18/2008 10:56:24 AM
I do it all the time... if there is a band that I want to see, I am not going to stay home just because my friends don't want to go out. Then again, I always run into people that I know when I go out. However, if there was a bar I wanted to check out, or a band that I wanted to see at a new place and none of my friends wanted to go - I would definitely go by myself so that I didn't miss out on a good time.
 Vonnies
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 55
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/18/2008 11:27:23 AM
I don't go out all the time alone, but sometimes I want to go and no one is available to go with me. I love to dance so I go to the local bar, grab a drink, find a spot for my jacket and drink an dthen either watch others dancing or I go out and dance a bit myseslf. It IS socially acceptable for a strong confident woman to dance by herself, at least where I go and ocassionally I end up with a dancing partner for the evening out of it.

It's your life and only you can live it!

 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 56
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/18/2008 2:13:55 PM
I dunno if it's "acceptable" or not, but who cares?

Would you even give the time of day to someone who told you they think it's unacceptable? Or someone who eases their own sense of "I could never do that" wussiness by telling you that going to a bar on your own makes you appear desperate?
 Scott_Vegas
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 58
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/18/2008 4:55:01 PM
I think its fine when women go into bars alone. Its such a double standard when guys can do it and women can't because the assumption is made that they are tramps merely out to pickup men (and even if that were the case, who gives a rat's ass) . Thats the type of mindset you would expect to find in a muslim nation, not here.

I go into bars alone a lot because I'll be out and just feel like a beer. Instead of organizing a posse for a night out I'll just drop in. If there is a nice girl there I'll chat her up. Why should a woman be ill advised to do the same.

Go for it girls!!
 blackhawkviking
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 60
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Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/19/2008 2:22:15 AM
I my self always thought that darts and pool would be good activities when going to a bar alone.
 daisymoon
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 63
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/19/2008 9:39:27 AM
I go to the bar alone all the time.. and I don't get "that kind of attention" from men.
I've found that you don't get attention if you don't ask for it.
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