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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Friend, lover, or therapist?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 4
Friend, lover, or therapist?Page 1 of 1    
Are you and him kissing? Has that slowed down if you are? Does he have a lot going on? Did you give him some flags? He could be playing the feild. He trusts you like the guy above said but that doesnt mean most by any means. I trust more than one person just to different degrees. If it bacame sexual too fast that could make him lose interest or too slow.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 9
Friend, lover, or therapist?
Posted: 10/9/2008 10:11:34 AM
That's how guys treat the "lesser option".

He's either still hung up on his ex,
or has someone else as his main option.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Friend, lover, or therapist?
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:22:47 PM

He says he wants to find a woman to love

How did you respond when he said this?


but at the same time he seems to put his gaurd up when I think I'm starting to get "close".

Get "close" how? You've been out a couple of times and haven't seen him lately. When is it you believe you are getting close? What are you saying to him and how does he reply that seems like you're getting close? What does he say or do that you perceive as his guard going up?

If he is asking you if you are seeing another guy, you must not be exclusive....free to date others....right? And he is, too....right? If so, what makes you think you're getting close? It sounds like you are friends (at the most) based on the limited info.




~ds~
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 11
Friend, lover, or therapist?
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:27:29 PM

That's how guys treat the "lesser option".

He's either still hung up on his ex,
or has someone else as his main option.


Ouch!!

But I hate to also agree with StrayCat.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 15
Friend, lover, or therapist?
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:54:31 AM
I know how this goes... you've become his "fukk-buddy of the brain". He's using you to ease him - but it's mentally.

Some men do that.

You can nurture him if you want to, and it will probably help him to find someone else that he'll love really well, thanks to your counseling.

If you're ok with that, keep doing it. Sometimes what you learn about you in that role can be a good experience too.
 Diadora
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Friend, lover, or therapist?
Posted: 10/10/2008 1:20:20 PM
I think Stray Cat said it best...... finding yourself the "lesser option". There are a number of reasons for that, guy has be hurt.... with a capitol H; not over his ex; not ready to be in a new relationship etc. Regardless of what they might be YOU become the lesser option. He is holding on and still involved with something or someone else.
If you want to make him a project and try to break him out of that endless loop you can be his "therapist". That rarely works out. Or you can wait. Wait some more. And keep waiting. Or you can move on. Label it as a qualified relationship. Be nice when he calls. And when he asks if you are seeing anyone say no.... but that is why you signed up for POF to find someone.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Friend, lover, or therapist?