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 realvike101
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 1
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start or finish a limerickPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
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can anyone finish this one??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
 realvike101
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 2
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start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:18:34 PM
Little Johnny is at it again
absent sincs I dont know when
I got this from Trevor
so i thought i`d be cleaver
So when do u get out of the Penn?
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 3
Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/17/2008 2:49:56 PM
Blessings to you do I send!
That wealth in your life may portend,
But the truth is as cold
As most women are told
But the wealthy you know will not spend.

 PerriotLeFou
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 4
Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/17/2008 6:41:52 PM
We suit each other splendidly
It must be serendipity
And with no one else here
Just you and I, dear
We're gauranteed fidelity.



Such a day as this deserves
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 5
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/18/2008 1:23:39 PM
I really wanted to dance
with the boy with a bulge in his pants

others thought it a sock
and truly did mock

My failure at finding romance
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 6
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/18/2008 2:17:44 PM
sometimes it pays to be gay
in a "prostitute/street walking" way

it may be abhorrent
but you can't pay the rent

because of the alimony
(al-i-mo-nay)
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 7
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/19/2008 12:54:39 PM
A tutor who tooted the flute
tried to teach two young tooters to toot
said the two to the tutor:
"Is it harder to toot,
or to tutor two tooters to toot?"
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 8
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/19/2008 9:30:48 PM
A trusting young woman named Treadwell
Believed that she knew Uncle Fred well;
But he tossed her in bed
On top of the spread,
And it seems that this maid was misled well.
(William K. Alsop)
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 9
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/19/2008 9:39:29 PM
The beauty in the sky you see
green grassy meadows are lovely

deep oceans blue
things look brand new

Thanks to Hi Def cable T.V.
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 10
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/19/2008 9:42:16 PM
http://www.limericks.org/pentatette/whatis.htm

What is a Limerick?
To be a Limerick, a verse MUST have:

Five lines
Lines one, two, and five MUST each have exactly three metric feet

Lines three and four MUST each have exactly two metric feet

The metric feet MUST be anapests ( da da DUM ) although the leading foot of each line may be an iamb ( da DUM) and the last foot of each line may have a trailing unaccented syllable ( da da DUM da). The classic Limerick is consistent in the use of iambs and trailing unaccented syllables, but this is not mandatory in recreational Limericks.

Lines one, two, and five MUST rhyme

Lines three and four MUST rhyme

A good Limerick will have a clever, unanticipated punch line as line five

A good Limerick will not be insipid or pointless

A good Limerick often has puns, word play, eccentric spelling, or some other witty feature

Any nonsense poem that lacks five lines, thirteen metric feet, or the aabba rhyme pattern is simply not a Limerick. It might be a sing-song or a la-de-da, but it's not a Limerick.


This is a Limerick, sound it out:

There ONCE was an OLD man from WHEEL-ing
Who HAD a pe-CUL-i-ar FEEL-ing

Said the SIGN on the DOOR
Please don't SPIT on the FLOOR —

He JUMPED up and SPAT on the CEIL-ing.


If you can't sound out the da-da-DUMs, trash it.
 PAClassyLady
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 11
Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/20/2008 12:34:03 AM
With snorkeler, I wholly agree.
This thread is for limericks, you see.
It's not only rhyming
But specific timing
And unlike haiku, it's funny.


Rock on.

~m
 PAClassyLady
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 12
Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/20/2008 6:35:31 AM
On Plenty Of Fish: a Jokes Forum.
The thread: "Limericks." We adore 'em!
Some people don't know
The way words oughtta flow,
So as for these people, ignore 'em!

On POF there is a forum
Where poetry is the decorum.
The people come here
To laugh off their rear.
You put poetry here and you bore'em!

There's limericks here as a thread,
Some people post poems instead.
Let's give them the gaff,
Cuz I came here to laugh
And they're driving me out of my head!

Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the prime rib and don't forget to tip your waitress!



~m (from The Limerick Police)
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 13
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/20/2008 8:03:58 AM
On POF looking for a date
not searching for my special soul mate
I ended up here
sitting on my fat rear
researching the "Limerick" till 'twas late
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 14
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/20/2008 7:14:06 PM
There was a young fellow named perkin
Who was always jerkin his gherkin
His father said perkin
Stop jerkin your gherkin
Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin


(both stolen err........... borrowed)

A young engineer name of Paul
Was equipped with an octagonal ball
The square of his weight
Times his pecker, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call

 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 15
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 6:26:54 AM
Now get out of my damn country
you unbalance my ying, yang and chi
the mood that I seek
I find only in sleep
my feet planted in bed like a tree
 PAClassyLady
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 16
Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 9:02:39 AM
My feet planted in bed like a tree
But the work week is waiting for me!
So I gave boss a call,
Told him "I had a fall!
I am flat on my back, can't you see?"
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 17
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 9:20:55 AM
I am flat on my back can't you see?
Only leaving my bed, just to pee!
(and to find the remote-
eat ice cream and bloat)
playing hooky at home? that'd be ME
 PAClassyLady
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 18
Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 10:19:03 AM
Playing hooky at home, that'd be me.
I'm shirking my job blatantly.
Too cold to go out
So I'll stay here and pout.
My boss can give my work to thee.

 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 19
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 11:14:25 AM
My boss can give my work to thee.
as he will most indubitably
If you can't make a rhyme
in syncopated time
go ask help from MrD4Thee

Hey MrD- JK you did start the thread!
and we are enjoying it-thanks, get back on board-

 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 20
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 3:03:05 PM
Realvike101's the author - so true
he did start the thread twasn't you
pardon my fauxpaus please
begged of you on both knees
I started off reading page two!
 onlee14u
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 21
Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 5:36:38 PM
when no ones around, i start to think.........
If I put it in water will this item sink?

a shoe, a boat, a winter coat........

Results may vary and that's what stinks:(




"my chair sits too low to the ground"....
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 22
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 6:30:50 PM
The light of my life soon to be
chosen from men numbered three
just like Tom D1ck and Harry
who shall I marry?
But mine are named One Two and Three!
 PAClassyLady
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 23
Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 6:37:03 PM
"But mine are named One Two and Three"
He uncomfortably said to me.
"I squirm in my chair.
And you sit, unaware
That these balls are quite dandy to see."
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 24
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 7:56:42 PM
"They really just want to be free."
the man said staring at her titties
"You can have a look,
but there is just one hook-
the price is one for $10 two for $20!"
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 25
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Start or finish a limerick
Posted: 10/21/2008 8:50:25 PM
they forgot to include the gratuity
when they served me my ratat-tat-too-ity
************************** (Ratatouille)
Forgive me I stutter
as I can't help but mutter

the price is higher than an annuity
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