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Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 4
Sour grapes....Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Alot of "sour grapes" here is due to unrealistic expectations.

For example: Some middle aged bald guy weighing 400 lbs gets online and
first thing he does is email all the hottie 20 year olds.
After all the rejections he posts a thread calling women
shallow, mean, vain,ect.

I had a really big girl email me once and I replied nicely.
She just lived too far away and wasn't my type.
She emails me back and says "Thanks! you're the only
skinny guy that has replied".

To which I replied.
"Well email the bigger guys then".
I wasn't being a smartass, just common sense.
She replies "You calling me big?!"
I said "No, but if emailing only skinny guys isn't working,
try something different".

Whether we know it or not....
or like it or not....
we attract what we are.
Change what we are and we can change who we attract.

I work out and try to be interesting to
attract someone similar.

Just cus Paris Hilton is single doesn't mean she would automatically fall for me.
I try to smooze with girls with my age range and interests.
I see ALOT of breathtaking POF babes who I don't email
cus I just know I am not their type.
Yes, I know they're missing out, but I am being realistic.
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 8
Sour grapes....
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:30:17 PM
OMG I get so many sour grapes! I tell women I'm not interested as nicely as I can and I get sour grapes. I also get a lot of it in the forums. It seems someone doesn't have the brians to put together a good argument to make their point so they start name calling and complaining to the mods.
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 11
Sour grapes....
Posted: 10/12/2008 6:36:28 PM
My sour grapes concern beautiful, young, popular women, especially the types who seem to live for the beach and the party.

I've always wanted to not just date them, but live the kind of life they do and be a part of their social interactions.

The sour grapes part of it is, because I can't be a part of it, I tend to feel alienated from pop-culture. I don't listen to popular music much. I don't sing along when some big hit comes on the radio, and I don't (yet) try to emulate any of the popular fashion styles (e.g. punk, prep, etc).

One thing I don't get sour grapes about it money. People are always saying they don't care about money, but to me, money does matter. Thankfully I make a decent amount of it and have excellent career prospects, so you'll never find me dissing it.
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 13
Sour grapes....
Posted: 10/12/2008 11:09:00 PM
Oh Grasshopper......................I always wanted to say that for real.......

I have no "sour grapes" at all on this website. I think too many people take dating way too seriously and too personal. I have no expectations from anyone I contact or any contact that I reply to.

This is a dating site and a place where people can meet. We all have our dating preferences and just because one person talks to another, does not necessarily mean that its going to work out and be a match.

I think we need to know who we are, what we are about, and we are looking for. Then, we need to be aware and open to the possibility of meeting that special person.

This environment is a mix of all kinds - its just a matter of sifting through the sand and finding a treasure.
Joined: 12/7/2007
Msg: 15
Sour grapes....
Posted: 10/13/2008 4:32:41 AM
What we have here is a conflict of expectations.

People see pics, read profiles, and before they even shoot out an email - pre-conceived notions and impulsive expectations are already starting to form.

When those notions are incorrect, and the expectations are not met - here come the sour grapes.

What is worse is that these idiots feel the need to get the last word so to speak, and send out a nasty mean email, trying to cut the person down, hurt them, to make
themselves feel better.

This type of stuff, never happens in bars, or rarely, ya walk up, say hi, either ya get a chat or a dance going, or ya get blown off. You do not then rip into that person, or throw a drink on them. The bouncers would kick the sh - well you get the point

The anonymous nature of the Net in my option fuels this. Maybe POF needs bigger bouncers lol.

Me, I could care less, I shoot out a note, and I try and say something relating to the profile I am responding to, as I only send out emails to those profiles that I feel may match mine, may, will not know that till we chat a little more.

Pics are one thing, but anybody can fake a pic, or use 10 year old pics, etc, but for the most part, most cannot fake what is in their hearts when they write the profile, and even if they do, once you talk to them, that is real easy to uncover.

I get a response great, if not, who cares, big deal, get over it, onward and upward. If you fish, and toss you line in and do not catch a fish on the first try, but you lose your worm, do you just quit and go home, get mad, and curse the fish.

No, you put on another worm, and toss that line out again.

Food for thought, and the kitchen is always open!
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 19
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/12/2011 12:32:42 PM
Attractive women, with higher education... I've noticed that most blue collar men aren't good enough for them, and have come to (shamefully) resent them to a small degree. I find myself marking them off my list, without even making an effort to know them better, and assuming I have saved myself a lot of grief. (Even though they weren't likely to be interested anyway.) And yes, I understand that this is a character flaw I have developed as a defense mechanism.
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 20
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/13/2011 3:22:32 PM
American women.
yep. I would have loved have dated one; because the alternative commute is a biatch. But what should I really expect, I have never dated the American girl, so when I have attempted to try, at every instance, it is an exercise in pain, grinding gears, pedantic misteps and that is if it goes anywhere ! Most times it is pure shut down at hello.
I am sure there are indeed great American women out there - but the whole event just makes me feel like Samuel L Jackson and his tirade against Pork from Pulp Fiction.

Sour grapes - meh. Happier Abroad.
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 21
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/13/2011 3:38:28 PM

My question that I pose is what are your "sour grapes"? What are some things that you convinced your self that you didn't want because you thought you couldn't get them.

A sexual relationship, I guess.
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 22
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/13/2011 3:40:26 PM
Sour grape? Nah. More like an old dried up prune. Oops sorry. I thought this was the thread "What do you see when you look in the mirror".
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 23
view profile
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/13/2011 4:32:55 PM
I think it's a combination of unrealistic expectations and "padding the profile" so to speak.

What do I mean "padding the profile"?

I dated a gal who loved to refer to herself as an "Executive administration assistant" Now to people in the real world that means secretary. Thats it. But the puffed up name sounds SOOOOOO much more important.. nothing about her was real,she lived in a fantasy land and always claimed "victim" status in relationships,but never put forth any effort in ours.

ditched her.

By her reasoning I suppose I could call myself an " Commercial and Industrial Electron Flow and Control Technician" . I am a Comm/Ind Electrician... just doesn't have the same zing as a high falutin title tho!
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 24
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/13/2011 6:20:42 PM
What I find most sad of all is that Aesops fables, like sour grapes, and Prometheus' sacks, or even a lot of the shit in the bible, are still relevant.

That basically people never learn and keep doing the same thing, and teaching their kids the same thing that we had problems with in interacting with each other 2000 years ago.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 25
view profile
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/13/2011 7:41:28 PM
Don't get TOO bummed out about that, warren. After all, EVERY human actually has to start from ZERO. We don't inherit wisdom, we have to learn it from scratch. It's actually quite an accomplishment that there are as many of us who DO have real insights before we reach 90!!!
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 26
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/13/2011 7:55:26 PM
If life gives you sour grapes -- make wine. We should not waste what God hath rot.
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 27
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/14/2011 11:15:00 AM
My sour grapes is a attractive educated guy who can speak on subjects other than sports and does not immediately ask me about my sexual desires and needs. I have kind of figure out that as they age they go through a second teenage hood where they are just sleeping with any and everyone who will say yes. AND asking about my sexual needs is more important and asking my name.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 28
Sour grapes....
Posted: 7/14/2011 11:21:16 AM
This is just a little excerpt from my profile, but I think it's fitting:

"I believe if we all were a little more honest with ourselves about what we bring to a relationship and quit expecting our potential partners to fill in the gaps, there would be fewer people on here whining about being alone. Put down your magic mirrors and realize that your beer gut isn't going to attract a slim or athletic woman (and a beer gut doesn't make you "athletic"). If you're unemployed, don't expect a millionaire to beg you for a date. If your I.Q. is smaller than your shoe size, Einstein likely won't be interested. And those under-30 women really don't want to date anyone their dad's age. I live in reality, and believe the key to happiness is to be realistic. In other words, f you can't bring it to the table, don't expect someone else to. Seems pretty simple to me."

Sadly, the people who need to read this thread won't ...
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Sour grapes....