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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?      Home login  
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 1
Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hello all. Thanks in advance for reading this. I am curious how people feel about scarification and branding. I'm about to start dating in hopes of meeting someone special as I am currently detecting enough interest that it should be worthwhile. I had a bit of a dark spell 4 years ago involving a bit too much drinking, some pills, broken windows, and branding. The long and the short of it is I ended up with a fairly pronounced branding scar on my bicep. I've had a medical professional tell me it's one of the best they'd seen, so it is fairly tastefully done. As I've basically lost interest in that sort of crazy shit, instead turning into a math geek, I want to know how many girls feel like that would be a deal-breaker. For the girls who feel either ambivalent or against it, considering that the scarification does not relate to my mental health or current interests, if I were dating you when would you want to find out about a past interest in scarification? Luckily, all the girls I've been with have been understanding, or, more often, thought it was hot, but I can, without much effort, picture it turning into a fairly awkward circumstance. Basically I'd rather not run into a situation where I've gotten close to someone and that they want me to take of my shirt and well... serious blue balls, a broken relationship, and 20 packs of cigs later I'm back in the same circumstance cause I didn't do my research.

Please keep responses as responses to the question asked or if you must go off topic keep it in a positive manner. Also, please don't be shy in answering, you will not hurt my feelings, and if you have similar questions please add them. I'm sure there are some. From what I understand it is not that uncommon, at least in the northeast woods. One last thing, among North Americans at least, this has not been around long enough that psychoanalyses has caught up, please don't spout psychobabble relating it to cutters, it is only superficially related.
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 2
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Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:51:52 PM
Branding, like as in a cow gets branded? can this not be like covered up by a tattoo or something I know nothing of what your talking about but am curious as Ive not heard of this before.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 3
Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?
Posted: 10/12/2008 6:12:17 PM
It is superficially related to branding like a cow. One of the primary difference is that when a cow is branded someone else claims ownership. With scarification it depends on how it is done whether it can be covered with a tattoo. I doubt very much mine can.
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 6
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Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?
Posted: 10/13/2008 11:32:38 AM
You are not the only person who has gone through a period of body modificaton. Think of it in those terms and wait until the topic comes up. You said it was well done focus on that. Righ not 2 out of 5 people in the 20 to 35 age group has some sort of body modification.
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 7
Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?
Posted: 10/13/2008 7:35:55 PM
I fell in love with a beautiful man, younger than I, but amazingly beautiful in every way a man can be.

However, he had been in prison. Federal. At age 18. He was in a bar in Illinois, and a man was beating up a woman. This guy stepped in, and basically kicked the shit out of the man abusing the woman, the man sustained some injuries and the young man spent five years in prison.

While in prison, he was branded on his forearm. It wasn't pretty, or well done. And the night he told me about it was the second date we were on...

How deeply moved I was, to know him.
How privileged I felt to love him, and to be loved by him.
How much he meant to me, and how much he shared with me...

I can only hope to have again in my life.

He was THAT special and meaningful to me.
I don't think he knew or knows or ever will.

You should feel no shame for what is in your past.
And a woman who is truly worth sharing life with, will touch you and love you beyond that time and into your future together - without any reservation.

You'll be fine.
Don't settle.
Be proud of who you are and have always been.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 8
Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?
Posted: 10/14/2008 5:14:10 AM
If a woman holds it against you (pun intended), then she's not right for you, is she?

The question to ask is not, "will my past be held against me?". Its, "do I really need to get everyone's attention, or just those who will accept me?" If a person's past is due to their insecurity, and they still have that insecurity, then they wish to get as much attention as possible. So, they just trade a past, for unhealthy dating. Hence, its better to just accept, that you don't need to cast your dating net wide. not everyone is worth your time, merely b/c not everyone is a great fit.

your branding may become quite a filtration device, keeping away the women who won't understand you. you had your past for a reason, and maybe that reason doesn't exist anymore. If so, then yes, its too bad people will hold it against you, b/c you aren't that type of person anymore, you're totally different. But, if you make a big deal about it, then its probably still in existance, want to date someone who understands, or someone who doesn't see it as a big deal, or....whatever.

Point is, it won't scare away someone who's right for I don't see it as being any more of a problem than you wish to make it into.
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 9
Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?
Posted: 10/14/2008 5:34:16 PM
its common for frat guys to get a brand.. mostly black guys but have seen it on white guys too. so I would just leave it as something stupid you did when you were younger and stop worrying about it. or go after girls with tats.. they would understand.
Joined: 1/22/2005
Msg: 10
Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?
Posted: 11/17/2008 10:29:30 AM
I have tattoos, scarification, piercings in all sorts of mysterious places and stretched earlobes and I wear them all proudly with no apology to no one. I work in the medical field too. I'm in school to be a nurse and hope to be a Doctor one day if God allows me. And I won't change who I am for acceptance from anyone. Don't change your identity to be loved because if you change who you are to be loved then no one can really love you because they are not truly loving YOU. Even if I can't cut it in my job field with my modifications... I'll move to another country and do mission work if I have to. I'll get by. I don't plan on letting insecurities put me in a box. No one should. Find a mission in life. Find your identity. And someone who loves you for you will love YOU. Stop making such a big deal out of yourself and be a man. You're gonna be ok.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Scarification. When does this need to be brought up?