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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.      Home login  
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 komodo
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 12
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Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
OP: A fresh perspective, cool!!
just like real life, its all a numbers game anyway. Your dad is a prophet.
reading the forums is more fun.....

Stay Casual.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 13
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Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/18/2008 6:57:54 AM
If a man does not show a real interest in me I have no interest in him. Playing it too cool will leave you very cold at night.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 14
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/18/2008 7:15:37 AM
I find it odd that you're so comfy with the fact that you think you can't choose a woman.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 17
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Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/18/2008 8:53:36 AM
You're misunderstanding your Dad. It is true that women choose the men. We are the choosier ones. But we choose from all the men who are chasing us. So it's not like you can omit that step. The ones that are courting us are obviously going to increase their chances of being chosen by us compared to the ones that shrink back and don't ever get noticed. He wasn't trying to tell you not to try. He was telling you that even if you try, you will get rejected some of the time, because women get to choose. You still have to try.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 25
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:07:27 PM
In my case I choose the man literally. Since close to zero men who approach me are men I have any interest in, I'm better off approaching them. Granted, they can then respond or not, but that's not important. What is important is that I make it clear to men I find attractive that I have interest. From there they can take it or leave it, fortunately I realize the approach is the success, not the outcome. I also like being single so every man who doesn't like me back relieves me of worrying about changing anything to accomodate a new person.

My choices are stay single and enjoy my freedom or make room for a hot guy I picked out. It's really a win win in my world. lol
 dudewtf87
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 26
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/29/2008 6:57:26 PM
i realized from my past experiences that the woman must chase the man thats the way my friend finally started doin it and i finally cought on cuz now we get dates but back wen i was out chasin the women just werent interested so i gave up on that they say the guys sposed to initiate interest but its never worked that way for me either the girls interested in you or she isnt
 GoUSF
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 28
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Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/29/2008 7:49:05 PM
Hmm So much for keeping it civil this thread might go downhill quick.. Agree to disagree?

I Think that Fruabirch or whatever poster was that quoted the person that wrote the line has had the most logical response to this whole thread, that it comes from a different time when it might of been relevant, don't forget it used to be a holy sin to eat meat on Friday also..

Either way I disagree, when I find a girl I want, I go after her with all I got (sometimes come on to strong unfortunately) and other times it works, but I dont buy this she chooses me stuff
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 34
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 11/5/2008 11:31:16 AM
I was talking with my friend's grandmother the other day. She made a comment along the lines of "you don't date who you like, you date who likes you". Which for the most part, I think is soooo true. Every guy I've ever dated did the pursuing.
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 35
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 11/5/2008 10:49:27 PM
As men & women we both have choices.
 DinoMartini
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 36
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 11/5/2008 11:59:14 PM
I have found in my local area, it is rare that any guy gets the girls that they chase. It either has a chance from the get-go, or it just goes nowhere.

Going by my own personal experience, if I choose the woman, I may as well quit before I get started. Almost anytime anything has come of it, the woman has initiated the contact or I just had dumb luck.

My experience here with my local area's women just keeps reinforcing these points over and over again for myself and all of the guys I know that are close to the same age. I know lots of guys that have permanently given up trying and I am not far behing them.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 40
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 9/3/2009 8:36:36 PM
The party with more options and less investment tends to be the chooser. So... at the very least, women tend to be the "choosers" for who they'll sleep with (cuz us guys are all slutty and stuff). In terms of long-term commitment, I would think it's more even, with an edge towards the men being choosier.


There is no evidence for men being choosier in the long term.

In general women pick men.
men chase women and risk all the rejection.
women have more sexual partner than men.
all men marry down.
men are less selective.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 42
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 9/3/2009 9:27:17 PM
^^^Pretty much. Although the first post on this page shows there are exceptions here and there.

Not really fair for men. But i guess life isn't fair.

But the irony is that women are the ones who like a challenge. They have always been concerned with the status of their men. So it is natural for them to precieve their partner as high status. This men chasing women is really a projection of the female desire to date a challenge.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 44
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 9/3/2009 10:04:57 PM


The asker already made their choice because they asked. The ball is now in the other person's court to say "yes" or "no". As we know the "asker" could be either male or female, but since men usually are the askers the general thought for a lot of people is "women choose the man". The way I see it they choose each other.



Women seem to think they pick the man and that are no exceptions and it is never vice versa. Many even say it with an air of supremacy.




FYI, men do not pick their partners ever. The selection is ALWAYS done by a female. And if you are not aware of that fact by now, you must not be as clever as you like to think.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhyYcY2RH8Moq1D8BjR6uP0jzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090417200210AAnjtZH





Whatever the case it is clear that women are pickier and tend to marry up (very rarely an equal and never down)
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 45
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 9/20/2009 7:10:14 PM
All men may want to pursue the cad strategy; however, their choice of the mating strategy is constrained by female choice. Men do not get to decide with whom to have sex; women do. And women disproportionately seek out handsome men for their short-term mates for their good genes. Even women who are already married benefit from short-term mating with handsome men if they could successfully fool their husbands into investing in the resulting offspring. The women then get the best of both worlds: Their children carry the high-quality genes of their handsome lover and receive the parental investment of their unknowingly cuckolded but resourceful husband. (In order to help the women accomplish this, evolution has designed women to be more likely to have sex with their lovers when they are ovulating and therefore fertile, and have sex with their husbands when they are not.)


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/why-handsome-men-make-bad-husbands-i

So men don't get to choose who to have sex and have to worry if they are raising their own kids and women justify it because of evolution.
 wings on my butt
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 46
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 9/21/2009 7:46:58 AM

The woman always chooses the man.



What a load of bullchit! So that means women, any woman, gets to choose any man she wants to be with and he has no choice? I say again bullchit! If that was true then Enrique Murciano would be in my bed right this very second.
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 47
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:49:44 AM
You can chase a woman to the ends of the earth and back, but ultimately SHE will choose wether she wants to be with you.

Men only really choose NOT to be with a woman if she is just too ugly or too crazy.
 wings on my butt
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 48
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:06:46 AM

Men only really choose NOT to be with a woman if she is just too ugly or too crazy.



So then I guess you do have some choice in the matter? If you don't find a woman attractive enough she could chase you all over and never get you because you would say no!Men have just as much say in who they end up with as women do as this poster acknowledges although he will vehemently deny having said it. People choose each other. No one can force another into a relationship if one is not willing as you pointed out yourself.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 49
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:40:57 AM


So then I guess you do have some choice in the matter? If you don't find a woman attractive enough she could chase you all over and never get you because you would say no!Men have just as much say in who they end up with as women do as this poster acknowledges although he will vehemently deny having said it. People choose each other. No one can force another into a relationship if one is not willing as you pointed out yourself.



If a man started rejecting women he didn't like the way women do most men would never be in a relationship.

This is how it works in the dating world and there are almost NO exceptions.

-Men chase women. There is no such thing as a woman who chases a man. A woman might approach a man and let him know she is open to being chased. She will give signs that she is enjoying being chased and he should continue. As that psychology article said men do not even get to choose who to have sex with.

- Since a woman has so many options she becomes choosier than the man. As such men develop good personalities and traits. Women don't develop that many good traits and all women end up marrying up in terms of finances and personality and whatever.

-The average man will never have as many women chasing him as the average woman has men chasing her.

-Women do not consider a man's character or looks. They look at his accomplishments. The love is shallow.

-Therefore if men and women started asking out in equal numbers the rejection would still fall on the man.


I can't see how any one believes the power distribution is equal.

And this power distribution has nothing to do with men's sex drive but with female entitlement and the fact that men love women more than vice versa.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 50
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/7/2009 1:47:37 PM
Also women have a habit of keeping men as back ups. whereas men are totally devoted to the relationship.

that's why you never see women competing or physically fighting over men the way men do over women.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 51
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:17:54 PM
HC123,
Would you like me to call a whaaa!mublance for you?

If a man started rejecting women he didn't like the way women do most men would never be in a relationship.

So what are you saying here, that men just "settle" for a woman based solely on "she didn't reject me"?
In a sense, your dad is right, women choose the men they will encourage to chase/pursue/court/whatever. But most of them, if they offer encouragement to a man who doesn't, for any one of a number of reasons, pick up and follow the encouragement, she figures he's not interested. And there are like 800,88 gajillion cases, where with online "meeting" that the lady will meet the guy and the guy doesn't feel sufficient spark to continue seeing her. So yeah, guys DO reject women.
Cindy O
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 52
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:28:15 PM
You will never see women chasing men. A woman who says she does is a liar. I doubt women even say i love you first.

And guys reject women much less than vice versa.

Most women have no respect for men. They date multiple men and have back up men.
If men did this they would be called pigs.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 53
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:45:47 PM

Unfortunately, that often means he's just the guy outfront, the short flashy runner who gives up the soonest... not necessarily the one who can stay in it the longest...

Yes, and many men will chase the prettiest package even if there is no discernible evidence that there's any content IN the package.
Cindy O
 keystoyourheart
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 55
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Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/8/2009 1:30:20 AM
Women will always have the upper hand when it comes to choices in relationships. It really sucks to be a single guy nowadays.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 56
Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.
Posted: 10/8/2009 8:03:11 AM
More men are unfaithful though. Although you can't blame them if you truly examine female dating behavior. I am surprised not all men are unfaithful though.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dad always told me, The woman chooses the man.