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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?      Home login  
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 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 3
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Also, how can i politely ask him to tone it down to PG around my sister or parents? (Whom he knows are very conservative.)

Why?! What in the world is he wearing around your family....a banana hammock or something?





~ds~
 Alli_K
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 9
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/20/2008 10:04:52 PM
Some men are literally colour blind and couldn't match a shirt and pants if their lives depended on it. My ex was like that. Solved the problem, For birthdays and ocassions I bought him something to wear and i gave him a gift certificate to be fitted by a professional dresser in a mens wear store who "educated him" that plaids, poke a dots and stripes don't make a great combo unless in the circus....
Sometimes it takes a little initiative and a push in the right direction...
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 16
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 12:37:03 AM

How do I get 'my guy' to step it up on the way he dresses?


You do not. He is an adult and can make his own choise, just as you are. If he ask your opinion, be honest.


Also, how can i politely ask him to tone it down to PG around my sister or parents? (Whom he knows are very conservative.)


Say "Please, tone it down to PG around my sister and parent, whom you know are conservative."
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 21
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 2:41:33 AM

Showing up dressed like a slob it sign of disrespect.


How is this?

If he prefer to wear a certain type of clothes, I do not care as I also will wear what I want.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 25
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 3:12:42 AM
It's a sign of disrespect because if you don't even feel the need to show up in clean clothes that don't look like you dragged them behind the car on your way over , then this is a clear sign of disrespect. It means "I don't think enough of you to even put on clean clothes".


Then you dress well to respect him instead of for yourself? I suppose we are different in our intend.


Oh and you really need to stop taking what others say on here personally. Seeing as you are not my boyfriend and I am not talking about you , then what I said has nothing to do with you personally


Hm? I did not take any thing personaly. I ask a question to understand your point and explain my opinion. Is part of discussion, no?


Wear whatever you like. If a guy gets turned on my smelly old clothes that have been sitting on your floor for two weeks and greasy uncombed hair, then hooray for you. This type of dressing however does not do anything for me but disgust me.


Is very different. OP speak of fashion and style of clothes, not higene and smells. A hole in his jeans and a mismatch color do not bother me, just as I hope my over dress for some places do not bother him.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 30
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 6:16:35 AM

Sometimes he looks great....and I would never judge someone by the clothes they are wearing. The first few times we went out he looked good, but when he drags out the ratty clothes, I don't know what to say.

You should consider helping him understand that it's not about him, it's about certain clothes he wears. Understand that there may be some sentimental value to them; if you ask him about it, he may tell you an interesting story. It may justify him not getting rid of them but it doesn't mean that it has to be part of his regular wardrobe.

Instead of focusing on his "sentimental attire," bring up the clothes which work; it's much easier. Tell him which clothes in his wardrobe makes him look hot and tell him why, he may not know. Then offer to buy him something else as hot just because you "love it when he looks extra sexy."
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 34
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 9:00:44 AM
Take him shopping!
Or buy him an outfit and tell him how hot he looks in it.
Then spill acid on the Rustlers.

By the way - there's nothing wrong with Rustlers, Wranglers or any other kind of jeans.

Girl! You're missing the big picture - that's YOUR man inside them.
Who the hell cares what kind of jeans they are?

Possibly you're a wee bit shallow?

Might want to think on that a wee bit.
 geoffrey116
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 37
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 10:19:25 AM
Just tell him. My ex di the same to me and I was fine about it. I changed my hair and de-odorant. I used moisturiser for the first time in my life which even though we are not together I have continued to use. I think that he would want to make you happy. Just tell him and see what happens. It might not be so bad after all and he might take pride in himself and you will be happier. Looking back I am glad that I was told.
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 38
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 10:37:33 AM
There's probably nothing really wrong with the way your boyfriend dresses.

I get the impression that he's just not as interested in fashion trends as you are.
Perhaps you two aren't a good match? Or you'll have to learn to compromise somehow between your dedication to fashion and his lack of interest in it.


I know you aren't suppose to try to change a person,
Then learn to accept him, or find someone else.
I'm guessing that he was likely wearing black jeans and black shirts when you met him.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 42
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 11:27:41 AM
Maybe I'm just naive, but OP, I wouldn't feel you are controlling, judgemental, shallow, etc. if you suggested to me something as minute as a little updating in the wardrobe arena. Geez, are people really that selfconscious? I mean he has already admitted he needs help there, others have helped him.....so, a) you and he have already discussed it somewhat, b) he must be okay discussing it, because you don't mention he got irrate or broke up with you over it, c) he has already accepted help from others regarding the same thing.

Now if my appearance was a particular way and I intended the look, then you suggesting me to change "my look", would be more along the lines of controlling, etc.

Just go with him, walk by a couple of racks.....pick out and hold up a couple of shirts/pants which you like and ask him if he likes them....if he does, throw them in the basket, or have him hold them....get a bunch and go into the dressing room with him while he tries them on. If something fits and looks good, smile and nod approvingly, act like you're brushing lint off his rear when he turns around.

If he has a problem with that, give me a call and you can take me shopping.





~ds~
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 53
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 3:17:35 PM
Don't tell him that - that'll hurt him. Go out and buy him a new wardrobe.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 54
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/21/2008 3:18:50 PM
Good idea......

Go for it and buy him some clothes that you think would look good on him, and what you would prefer to see...........Just remember to include the "return receipt" along with the clothes.......

Maybe the best way to get what you want.....is to be what you hope to get.......and this includes how you dress when doing all kinds of things, and hopefully others will learn by your representation......

Just my opinion........
 lionfrog
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 64
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/22/2008 12:10:23 AM
Okay I must say that I have been guilty of wearing some comfortable clothes after I have been with my GF for some time now.
Does he have to get fixed up to take out the trash or go fishing? I wear old jeans, boots, and what ever shirt I have when I go fishing, but my girl will still want to look good (yes she goes fishing, but I have to take the fish off the hook for her). We will at times stop by her families house after we go fishing. Heck her mom has even said things to me, but we are talking about an old pair of loose fitting jeans and a loose shirt, and we wern't going to a concert! It's become some what of a joke between her family and me! Her mom lovingly calls me a redneck country boy, but I have fun fishing and hunting with my girlfriends dad and he is a lot like me when it comes to what he wears to be comfortable or practical for the occasion or job at hand.
Whats wrong with (EX: Old black jeans and a black oversized shirt) as long as you are not going to the prom? I guess it depends on where you are going. My girlfriend will just come out and ask me would you mind wearing this or that, and I don't mind as long as she asks nicely, nor should he!
So where is it that you are going when he dresses bad, and what is he wearing in front of your sister?????
I know when I go to the gro... store I see women wear things that gross me out, and I thank God I'm not with them. I at least try to look presentable for my GF when we are out in public, but I won't trash a nice set of clothes if I'm fishing, hiking, or some rough outdoor activity.
I dated one woman that it took her 3 hours to get ready just to go out and cut the grass and do yard work. Noticed I said Dated (past tense) she was a snoty upity person that looked down on people. My GF now is not a snoty upity person that looks down on people.
Just because someone wears comfortable old clothes to do yard work or go fishing does not make them a slob or dirty!
 LangloisJ
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 66
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/22/2008 12:23:38 AM
Honestly, Just tell him he needs a sense of fashion and that you will help him. I am the same way with females. I don't like hanging around girls that dress like boys unless they can pull the look off. If she has on a big baggy jersey and baggy pants and a "g" hat, I am usually turned off but if she wears like a formal dress or club dress...Yeah Mama.
 lionfrog
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 67
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/22/2008 2:20:12 AM
*LOL not to many bean and cornbread raised folks on this forum LOL* Hey at least he is not wearing biboveralls, a straw hat, a coat tied around his waist, slapping his knee and passing gas! Relax people life is not a fashion show!
I have noticed some people talk about others clothes, but I look at the profiles and wonder if they have looked in the mirror lately? One persons fashon may not be anothers fashion style. Some people are so superficial, and shallow, not to mention self centered! It makes me so happy that I have a woman that is not that way!
BUT!!!
Nice clothes do help when you are on the job, or looking to impress people, and it will make your mate feel like you care about them if you look good for them. I guess I would ask how is the relationship, can you two talk, and not get upset if you nicely ask him to wear this.
Nothing wrong if you go buy him something you like. I love it when my girlfriend buys me a shirt or a pair of shoes. Shes never gotten me anything I have not liked. Now me I could not go shoe or clothes shopping for her unless I had some help; I can't help it I'm a man, but I sure buy some nice flowers and jewlery! We do this because we care about eachother not because we care about what someone else thinks!
 lionfrog
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 69
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/22/2008 2:34:11 AM
Oh yuck Mary who have you been dating thats just plain discusting! At least change your underwear before you go out with them next time. LOL Have a great day and take a kid fishing they will love ya no mater how bad ya look.
 EthericWhisper
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 76
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/22/2008 12:26:25 PM
Perhaps you could just love him for who he is and accept that his way is different than yours? Can you allow someone elses opinion of your man get in the way of how you feel, or can you shift your mind and see the beauty in him that makes you love him for who he is

Your family and friends are not the ones who look over in the the morning at this man who cares for you . They are not the ones who gently reach over to touch his warm skin, carress his lips, and pull him close to your body.

Clothing....is not his core.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 81
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/22/2008 1:59:26 PM

Try a subtle approach. "Nice jacket. What did you do, shoot a couch?"



See, now I want a woman whom I can talk to like ^^^ . And rather than getting her bloomers in a bundle, she can laugh, or dish it right back to me. But not all the time....that can't be all of the communication....gotta be some serious stuff thrown in there somewhere, once in a while.





~ds~
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 85
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/22/2008 7:25:31 PM

Sigh, fine....what ARE you thinking about? Do I look fat in these jeans? Do these shoes go with this? Where do you want to go to dinner? You really enjoyed the chick flick, right?

Feel better?


HUH? What? Nothing like that at all....I'm talking about being with someone you're comfortable enough being with, able to have verbal and nonverbal communication and banter with. Where things aren't taken personally, but they also aren't crossing the abusive, belittling line. You know (hopefully), where adults can still occasionally act like a kid? The reminiscent feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster at age 45....when the tingle in your stomach outweighs your dizzieness?

Is it just me, or are some of us just waaaaaaaaay too uptight and guarded? Might be a need for some more healing and reflection, if so. Yet again, JMO.





~ds~
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 88
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/25/2008 1:08:42 PM
Well, I didn't tell him, I just took him to my favourite "head to toe" store.
He had his "personal shop assistant" by his side and I could tell you that we didn't leave the store empty handed .
To date ... I think, he is grateful for this trip, hence still seeing him occasionally wearing well chosen trendy, comfy and good quality clothes.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 89
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/25/2008 1:23:38 PM
Well, I didn't tell him, I just took him to my favourite "head to toe" store.
He had his "personal shop assistant" by his side and I could tell you that we didn't leave the store empty handed .

I just had an evil flashback to when I was eight years old and my mother would take me clothes shopping in the fall for the new school year. I hated it with a passion, I completely despised Toughskins jeans, they felt as if they were made of cardboard and roof shingles; I wanted Levis.


To date ... I think, he is grateful for this trip, hence still seeing him occasionally wearing well chosen trendy, comfy and good quality clothes.

I think my mother felt the same way after our yearly outing to buy new school clothes. But now, thirty-odd years later and I still haven't forgotten those damn uncomfortable jeans!

Hopefully your guy at least appreciates the thought.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 90
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/25/2008 1:35:56 PM
Hopefully your guy at least appreciates the thought.
:hug:
CleverMonster he was really pleased with the shopping and that I see him occasionally wearing these clothes he chose himself or I brought to his attention some pieces when feeling the touch of fabric or a combination of gentle colours had a soothing effect , well, what one can say? double joy of sharing and combining pleasurable with beneficial
 EthericWhisper
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 91
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/26/2008 7:35:21 PM
Shallow is as shallow does.
 EthericWhisper
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 94
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How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/27/2008 9:07:25 AM
In this day and age, when children are eating mud cakes to survive, others here in the US are homeless due to the greed of others, how can one be so concerned about whether someone they hope to love dresses "appropriately" , or if friend and family might reject said person on that basis? Shallow indeed.

Art and beauty can be found in nature, in a childs hand, in the smile of a fellow human, in the glow of the morning sun. Its not about what you put on your back. Certainly if one has the means, then one should keep as clean as possible, but this concept that one must present a "sense of form and good design" to be attractive or to create beauty is utter nonsense.

Priorities.

Wear the dorky clothes, embrace your goatee if you like, and by all means recycle those clothes and shop at a gently used store, or even the Salvation army. Present someone with a random act of Kindness today, and be truly beautiful.

Gaia does not care what you wear. The heart does not care what you wear.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 95
How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad?
Posted: 10/27/2008 9:21:11 AM

...or I brought to his attention some pieces when feeling the touch of fabric or a combination of gentle colours had a soothing effect , well, what one can say? double joy of sharing and combining pleasurable with beneficial

Ahhh yes, must not forget the multiple uses of silk neckties.
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