Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > A Question for the girls!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 asteliapuff39
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 2
A Question for the girls!Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
she wants the booty and thats it.
She sees you as sex material nothing more nothing else.
If she saw you as a catch, then she would have dated you properly by now.
Being used for sex goes both ways... sadly you are and its up to you to say yes or no... she has gotten away with it for 11 years, why should she ever change?
have you ever talked to her about your feelings towards her? maybe you should again and see how it goes.
 Alli_K
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 6
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/21/2008 10:35:37 PM
I don't think it's so much of a friend with benefits. It seems more you make yourself available to her to use you as her comfort zone when she ends her current relationships.
You need to get on with your life and move forward. She has made it very clear what her feelings are. It does''t appear it will change anytime soon and you may be missing out on a good thing waiting for her.
 Alli_K
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 9
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/21/2008 10:45:06 PM
So you're saying you are going to wait around for someone to fall in love with you before you cut ties?

Have you ever heard the expression "Life's too short"? You 're wasting valuable time...
 spoiledsambo
Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 11
view profile
History
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/22/2008 5:12:53 AM
At Scott, and all guys for that matter, STOP being a doormat to women. We do not respect a guy that has no respect for himself.

I wouldn't have a person like this as even a friend Scott. Give yer head a shake. Cut your losses and thank gawd that you only waisted 11 years and not 20!!!


 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/22/2008 5:30:32 AM
Dude,

I think you need a little more self respect. Here's the problem. In the one side you probably think you have to pinch yourself because you are fvcking a good looking chic. Guess what, there are plenty others. Second, you think that somehow, like the story of Prince Charming she is going to change her mind and you'll go from FB to a relationship. Nope. It is not going to happen. Why? Because it has not happened before, and quite frankly, history repeats itself. And after this round of fvck sessions she will find another dude, and put you to the side for a while.

The problem with this situation is that while being fb is okay, the moment one becomes emotional, that person it at the losing end. I know, that happened to me, I began to fall for a FB and she was not ready to step it up, so we split. And in your case, you're getting emotional by wanting more than it will ever be.

So, enjoy it while you can, but be willing to let it go.

But in the mean time since she is using you, why don't you use her as well. Back when I became single again, I had no idea how to approach women, so I not only had to relearn everything, but then had to go out and practice. What I discovered was that sometimes your best wingman, is a woman, particularly one that is attractive, and one that you also sleep with. And once you understand some of the psychology of interaction you can apply that to attract even hotter women. Do you catch my drift?
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 13
view profile
History
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/22/2008 5:32:29 AM
OK, this girl certainly doesnt have your best interests at heart, but she has been honest in what she is willing to offer you, and you have accepted that. Thats not on her, that is your stupidity to own.

What I cant wrap my head around is the fact that you have wasted 11 years of your life on a pipe dream. THAT isnt her fault, it is yours. You may want to spend some time and ask yourself why you have allowed your life to go this way, and why you havemt done anything to get out of this crappy situation.
 blonde chickie
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 16
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/22/2008 10:24:44 AM
FWB means Friend With Benefits OP, and thats what you are to this chick of 11 years.
 Diadora
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 17
view profile
History
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/22/2008 2:09:58 PM
Ok listen up.
Having sex with someone bonds you to them. That is not true for everone but it happens to both women and men. It sounds like you are one of the men. Sound like she is not one of the women who fall into that catagory. Period.

You have bonded to her and she has not bonded to you. It probably will not change. You have come to terms with that state. And move on. You are a person she has sex with. When she is not in any other relationship. For her it is just sex. For you it has emotional significance.

If you want a continuing relationship you need to sit down with her and tell her where you stand. She will probably say the same thing to you that she has been saying all along. Prehaps you will hear it this time.

It is very important to view sex in the same way that you partner views sex or you are in for a world, a universe of hurt and confusion.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 20
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:32:27 PM

How can you just be friends with someone soo long and not want anything more even though you have slept with him?? Why can't she just try it out?


Because she's NOT into you.
How many times did you need to hear this?
I mean really, dude? It's been 11 years - what are you doing?
Move on.

Let it go.
She's NOT that into you.
 M_lissa
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 22
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:54:39 PM
Hmmm, maybe there are posssible attachment issues here. If that's the case, it really has nothing to do with you. Don't take it personally. It's going to take her awhile before she figures out what she really wants. Years from now, it may be you. You'll only know that though if you cut ties, keep her at arms length and move on.
 M_lissa
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 23
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:56:02 PM
And by attachment "issues", I mean attachment disorder.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 25
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/23/2008 9:22:40 AM
I'd just enjoy the sex without any ties...do you want to lose your man card? This way you can get laid and still look for someone serious to date. What's the big problem here? Sounds like you got it made.
 Marmite baby
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 27
view profile
History
A Question for the girls!
Posted: 10/23/2008 10:02:30 AM
If you were a girl,I'd say he's a waste of time.
Perhaps an ultimatum or move on. Stop being so available. She may only appreciate your worth when she's frightened of losing you. Should add that I've also been the go to girl.
This sounds really drawn out and painful. Treat it like quitting smoking! Still smoke by the way, but know that guy in question didn't have my best interests at heart. Don't fall for friendship, he/she will try it on when you're vulnerable. Whether it be sex or emotional support. It's not a fair /balanced relationship.
And probably never would have happened if I hadn't been lonely.
Treat any root cause of your problem.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > A Question for the girls!