Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Christmas Wedding Conflicts      Home login  
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 2
Christmas Wedding ConflictsPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Option B sounds like the no-brainer. Everyone's satisfied, if not happy.

NEVER try to get the wedding party to accept another person, too much has already been arranged and it's too difficult to accomodate changes.

My first thought, however--how long have you known about this wedding? Why didn't you plan this, since you've been with her for TWO years? I know Christmas is always about the same time each year, so you KNEW that was coming.
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 6
Christmas Wedding Conflicts
Posted: 10/22/2008 11:01:37 AM
Why do people plan weddings on holidays??? They ruin everyone else's time off and I find it selfish. I don't know how many times people I know use Memorial day and Labor day to get married. It's just annoying. AND if one of my friends thought it was a brilliant idea to interrupt my christmas holidays, they can forget about me attending. Okay, rant over.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 7
Christmas Wedding Conflicts
Posted: 10/22/2008 11:17:47 AM
I personally find that your buddy is the inconsiderate one getting married in the middle of a holiday where many people have tremendous family responsibilities. Consequently, it is your buddy the one that because of the sacrifice that his friends made to be in the wedding, HE should be the one that is more accommodating.
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
Christmas Wedding Conflicts
Posted: 10/22/2008 2:18:34 PM
Go with B. Don't bring the gf. That will not work trust me.... been at one wedding where that happen and it was horrible. No one left being friends.

And watch who whines. That will tell you a lot about the future with that person.
You are in a difficulty situation and you have come up with a plan that is a reasonable and respectful compromise. Both your friend and gf should accept it if they are also reasonable and respectful. It they whine about your choice think of it as a red flag for the future.
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
Christmas Wedding Conflicts
Posted: 10/22/2008 3:47:14 PM
Plan B. You are showing that you are considering everyone as much as possible. No-one can ask more.
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 12
Christmas Wedding Conflicts
Posted: 10/22/2008 5:19:48 PM

Be the hero.. drive 4 hours, attend the ceremony and drive the 4 hours home.

That's what coffee was invented for.

Heck, she may even want to travel with you to be with you AND be impressed that you would put yourself through this just for her.

Yes, I'm being serious.

Or the romantic hotel & spa number is also a great idea. Do what you have to but don't leave her out totally..
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 13
Christmas Wedding Conflicts
Posted: 10/22/2008 5:30:28 PM
I think your best friend has made a huge mistake. Weddings are about being coupled and why would your best friend expect people to be in the wedding party without their spouses or s/o's? They should have reduced the number of wedding party attendents to accomodate each of these people bring someone with them. Its very rude to invite someone to a wedding and not extend the invitation for their spouse/gf/bf/guest. If there is going to be dancing after dinner, what was your friend thinking?

If this were me, I would have an honest talk with my friend and tell them that you dont want to attend the wedding alone. Its an opportunity for your gf to see you doing something special and have her meet people who are close to you. JMHO.
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 14
view profile
Christmas Wedding Conflicts
Posted: 10/22/2008 11:06:02 PM
I would go for planB.. and kuddos to the girlfriend for being so understanding...

But I have to say this... I think these people are crazy to do this.. I am sure there are others who also have loved ones who are inconvienced by this ridiculous.. yes I said it RIDICULOUS arrangement. Sounds to me like a crock of horse hockey..

I think though your plan B is the best.. and as someone else said.. everyone is happy.

Oh, and I offer best wishes that you and your SO will have a wonderful holiday season.. and a very Happy New Year.

Actually I vote for taking her along and making a spa day out of it for her.. Trust me.. she won't miss you in the spa.. and.. you can have special time with her later on..

I think the Bride and Groom both need to learn that you can't disrupt people's holidays on a whim.. I still think it is rude to do this to people.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
Christmas Wedding Conflicts
Posted: 10/22/2008 11:33:51 PM
I find the whole thing rude, first they don't invite half a couple then they change the wedding to Christmas, are you kidding me, Christmas oh and don't bring any loved ones. Tell the groom to not invite the bride, cut some more costs. I wouldn't go. Most people will be with family anyway, and wouldn't go. It would be different also if you'd known all along it was going to be during Christmas and you hadn't dated your girlfriend very long/she knew you'd be gone for Christmas, but this set up, screw 'em, let them have their wedding without you. But you can't go by me because the last place I'd want to spend my Christmas is with a rude couple who probably expects gifts too. Bah Humbug!
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Christmas Wedding Conflicts