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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > More or less intelligent?      Home login  
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 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 2
More or less intelligent?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Its nice to teach someone what you know, so you are spreading it around.
But, its also nice to learn something new, too.
 Shibui_Man
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 5
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/23/2008 11:24:26 AM
i'm not sure if it's a matter of the person i'm dating being more or less intelligent than me, but i really do need to be able to have engaging conversations with them.

it's possible to date someone that's really, really smart but who is unable to carry on any sort of conversation, or convey an idea well. not saying these people are bad in any way, but i would have a tough time in a relationship with a person that doesn't communicate well.

by the same token, i've gone out with people that don't have an extensive formal education, but are very engaging and have great communication skills and are able to keep my interest at that level.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 8
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/23/2008 12:57:57 PM
I'd almost feel wrong dating someone less intelligent than I. The only time I ever feel more intelligent than another person, is when it's blatantly obvious the person has no clue about anything... Then I just feel kind of bad for the person that they just don't understand..

The women I've met in my life who i've deemed "less intelligent" than myself, often made me feel uncomfortable when I talked with them. I can only think of maybe one or two women in my life time that I've actually deemed 'less intelligent'.

I guess it's because I don't consider myself a very intelligent being - and I often argue that nobody is really very intelligent - It takes a lot for me to even think in those terms in regards to another person.


I'd say if you think in terms of measuring one's intelligence to your own, regardless of their 'perceived' cognitive level, you're not really approaching other human beings in the right state-of-mind. Especially when I'm looking for things in a mate.


Usually, Intelligence isn't even something I contemplate - As long as we can talk, and achieve a level of understanding together.

Hell, I admit to every prospective date: "I'm pretty much an idiot - It's a given premise - So any future arguments we have where you call me an idiot just makes you redundant!"
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 10
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/23/2008 3:02:43 PM
I "measure" a man's intelligence by the time it takes to get me to shoot Diet Pepsi out my nose laughing......or not. Ehh...just keeping my attention for more than 15 minutes is something.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 11
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/23/2008 5:16:44 PM
More or equal, otherwise I'm intimidating and scary.
Not good in a relationship.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 12
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/23/2008 5:57:31 PM
I'd go with more, hands down - so long as it doesn't come with arrogance and a condescending attitude, of course.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 17
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More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/24/2008 8:32:01 AM
I don't really care, personally. Most of my dates have been less academically intelligent, but have taught me a lot.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 21
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More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/24/2008 10:35:26 AM
I would prefer an intelligent person, there is no such things as less or more intelligent person, it just defends on individual intellectual preference, some are incline to math, geometry,science,etc.. I am into philosophy and psychology .It does not mean that my intellectual ability is lesser than a person who is good in math. Intelligence mean the power of mental ability to understand matters.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 22
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More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/24/2008 10:37:13 AM
I think we all have areas we are more INFORMED about, areas that we are interested in and therefore just have a better general knowledge of. For this discussion, I think that if we can find someone who is capable of discussing those areas with us in an intelligent manner, then we are well matched.

Educated and intelligent don't necessarily mean the same thing. I've often had to explain the meaning of a word I've used (with my high school diploma) to people who have had decades of schooling and strings of letters after their name. In fact, that's something that forms part of the attraction for the guy I'm seeing - we use obscure words and laugh and say "good one!" Nice to find someone you don't have to be a dictionary for!
 BlahGrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 23
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More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/24/2008 12:57:12 PM
More. Humility is good for the soul.

If they are anywhere near me then other issues start taking priority.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 26
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More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/25/2008 12:15:38 AM
I don't know any more. I don't want someone so lacking in intellect and knowledge that I have to explain everything on the other hand I don't want constant debates on things either.

I've come to the conclusion that intelligence is a handicap to dating. Learning more and more and having the sort of open mind that allows for it will tend to separate a person from the great bulk of the population. In the US, the schools and the media tend to shape and form the views of the masses, usually by simply not covering things and other times outright being wrong. Because of this condition intellectual curiosity can then quickly cause a person to form radically different ideas from nearly everyone around him. Too many people intelligent or not do not have a questioning nature and just stick with what they are told in school or by the media. People don't like it when what they have believed for so long is questioned. It causes problems.

It is being able to question things, being able to set aside old beliefs and refine others in light of additional information that is the most important part of intelligence IMO. But it is also the most dangerous for relationships with other people because of how most people do not take well to learning what they believe isn't so.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 29
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More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/27/2008 7:53:17 PM
Yes, I'd like someone who is more or less intelligent.
Seriously, it doesn't matter. I've dated brainy folks and a couple who were dumb as posts; as long as they were nice, it wasn't a problem. We all have to know our limitations, and if we can live with that and accept it, others usually can too.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 33
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 11/17/2008 11:01:16 AM
The one guy I dated, who was more knowledgeable than me, had some sort of superiority complex which was extremely ugly.
==========
I dated a guy who was less intelligent, but had the same complex--you just can't win!

I find the same as many others--it's not really about "intelligence", it's about compatability. I love smart people because I love a quick wit. I have known quite intelligent people with not a bit of humor. UGH, no, thanks. I dated a dumb guy once, and will not do it again--I don't like having to explain my jokes.
 mysticaries
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 34
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 1/9/2009 1:55:46 PM
I'd prefer someone smarter than me. It bores me when I feel like the person I'm with can't challenge me intellectually.

But I agree, finding someone who knows about things you don't and vice versa is ideal. Then you can both stimulate each other's minds. I just like to feel like I'm at least on a level playing field with someone and not way above them.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 35
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:03:55 PM
Since I fall in the top 3% (with an IQ 140 or higher), it's not that I really have a choice. What I look for is someone who at least can give the appearance of keeping up even if she's completely clueless. For things I don't know about, I can usually do the same.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 38
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 1/10/2009 8:50:30 AM
I've decided I don't think in terms on "intelligence". I want someone who stimulates my mind, someone who entertains me with his. He can be dumb as rocks as long as he has an interesting worldview (alongm of course, with other things I am attracted to).
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 39
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 2/19/2009 6:52:39 AM
It wouldn't matter to me unless a person was a complete idiot or didn't have any common sense / street smarts. I think compatibility is more important than intelligence. A person could be intelligent, but you may not be able to have any good conversations if you don't have many common interests with them.
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