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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > giving up on finding love      Home login  
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 2
giving up on finding lovePage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I have not met one person that likes feeling like what you are describing at all, however, I refuse to give up. I know, someone is out there for me somewhere. I have become rather "more selective" than I normally am, and from all the bad things that have gone wrong, I am now in complete control of what I will not pursue again. Giving up is an easy way out. Someone will come along when you least expect it.
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 3
giving up on finding love
Posted: 11/3/2008 5:17:20 PM
Preferable to keep your mind open and your heart warmly receptive but guarded. Safer.
Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 4
view profile
giving up on finding love
Posted: 11/3/2008 5:26:03 PM
Hang in there man. I know how you feel I have been hurt alot myself. My ex g/f told me one day how she wanted to be with me forever then the next morning broke up with me after telling me she had been kissing on her ex while i was gone. Many times I have thought about given up, but i still do believe there is someone out there for everyone.
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
giving up on finding love
Posted: 11/3/2008 6:24:42 PM
Most definitely I feel this way (check out my screen name lol).
Even with the feeling of wanting to give up, I still want to have faith and dreams that there is someone out here for me.
I to feel like I am the bad luck relationship girl for sure.
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
giving up on finding love
Posted: 11/7/2008 7:40:25 PM
I can relate...I think when we're younger we are more resilient to the hurt, unless it's physical. Sometimes the roller coaster ride just isn't worth it. I have just come out of one that wasn't one sided, but I never believed it would end the way it did. When you fall hard, there is much more of a tendency to want to give up...they say that time heals all wounds, but I'm not sure about that...I like the quote that "You don't find love, Love finds you"...but even then sometimes, it is stolen from you by circumstances beyond your control, no matter what you do to try and stop it...I think we've all been there and many more will be again...There are those that can hop relationships, but I'm not one of them...if it is real, it doesn't happen that way. It's about time to crawl back into the protective bubble...
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 13
giving up on finding love
Posted: 11/7/2008 9:08:12 PM
I agree with Navigator6. Finish one relationship first, then with a clear head, persue another. Learn from what was the demise of your marriage and inject new energy into a new relationship.

Someone once said to me "Never treat someone as a priority who treats you as an option". And also "Happiness comes through doors which you didnt even know you'd left open".

Stay positive OP. Smile even when you're down because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. xx
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 16
giving up on finding love
Posted: 11/8/2008 3:26:24 PM
Navigator6, I again agree with you. What you said in your pervious post hits the nail on the head. "If you dont ever try, you never give yourself the opportunity to succeed". Well said.

To post before me, maybe read thru what Navigator6 has written a couple of times. He's sincerely trying to help you.
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 18
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giving up on finding love
Posted: 11/9/2008 11:59:58 AM
m8 i totally agree have had same issues as yourself it sucks
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 20
view profile
giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:47:45 PM
Giving up is a sign of a weak person... YOU ARE NOT A WEAK PERSON! Hang in there.
I look at many other generations before ours and wonder, how in the world did they find each other? They didn't have the internet, phones were limited, and mail was flawed. Yet my great grandparents found each other. My great grandmother was from Michigan and great granddad was fron Upstate NY. Not only did they find each other, but they SUCH a cute couple to this day. If they can find the person of their dreams way back then... by golly we can find ours with the potential to search the seven seas with the click of a mouse.
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 21
giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:12:26 PM

"Happiness is like a butterfly,
If you chase it, it will elude you,
If you turn your attention to other things,
It will come and sit softly on your shoulder..."

I like this quote myself but for the longest time, I'd never really understood why they say... its better to stop looking for love and let it find you... But with this quote, it makes sense now..

After my two failed relationships (including the recent break-up), I thought about giving up and just live my life to the fullest... not worrying about getting married (if its really meant for me)... I still have my family and friends that I could talk to and work hard to achieve my dreams...

I realize relationships aren't the holy grail - it won't make me complete or my main happiness. I did had faults why my two relationships didn't worked out because I have failed to address my exes (their needs) and neglected my own happiness.

I'm not bitter or cynical just tad disappointment with the last two bfs... Hopefully, I'll be wiser enough that I have learned from my experiences.

I hope for all of you, time and distance will eventually heal you from your experience and be able to open to the possibility that love does exist... But it has to start from yourself first...
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 22
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giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/5/2009 12:45:38 PM
Or, to quote Eric Clapton via Derek and the Domino's:

"Why Does Love Have To Be So Sad?"

I thought I found a true love a couple of times here-it all went poof....

Oh, well, I keep trying and hoping...
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 23
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giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:13:58 PM
I think everyone who has ever been dumped feels that way, I've been there and have simply taken a break, re-grouped and moved on. I'm a "glass is half full" kind of person so I look at every relationship as a learning experience. Inevitably I learn something about myself every time. Sometimes it's something simple like enjoying a new activity, sometimes it's more about how much inner strength I have.
As several other posts mention you can't expect to find love if you are searching for it around every corner. When the time is right it will find you, just be open to it.

Never give up is not an option!

We are all deserving of love, so keep fishing...
 retro dreamer
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 27
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giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/6/2009 10:40:32 PM
I gave up on finding love years ago and have been single since the early 90's. I'm back looking for love now but most ask me why and how could i stay single. The why was a break up so messed up no word can describe it. I didnt think i would ever consider dating again.
The how being alone wasnt easy. so many of my friends were in relationships and eventually married. I was asked on occasion to go on a date and turned them down. Now that i look back on it i regret it. I did eventually meet a female friend that didnt give up and to listen to her point of view was very informative. sometimes a good conversation is a memory to hang on to.
Dont give up so easily like i did. One thing i learned is relationships come in all forms. keep a open mind and have patiance. you may find love when you least expect it.
Joined: 1/2/2009
Msg: 28
giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:10:32 AM

Dont give up so easily like i did. One thing i learned is relationships come in all forms. keep a open mind and have patiance. you may find love when you least expect it.

A good advice. The challenge is being patient and staying positive.
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 29
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giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:31:16 PM
I feel like being crude here again, so here goes.
This forum is so full of quotes about love.
Are you saying them just to sound clever?
All that stuff about "there's a special someone out there for you",
and "love being so sacred, so this, so that".
To me, these are all just a bunch of banal memes.

At least the fat lonely guy had an original thread.
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 32
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giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:26:56 PM
Oh ya, been there, done that, got the teeshirt...have now given it to good will...a few times as somehow I keep going in and buying it back, lol. I've been through lots of roller coasters in life but love has been the one thing that just knocks me to my knees and makes me become familiar with the grout between my bathroom tiles. I've always been a huge giver in relationships and have accepted less then I deserve because my heart has been attracted to someone. I've now defined what a great relationship is to me using my head and what actions I want/need from my partner and I'm not standing by anymore waiting to see if it happens. I know the signs of a one sider and I ask quicker for what I want...if it is not given I'm out. I'm still getting my heart broken, making lots of mistakes and fumbling to find my groove (one step forward and three back sometimes) but I'm wasting less time, bouncing back quicker and recognizing the bad ones before I get in too deep. Know what you want and don't settle for less. It's not an easy road for some of us but you will find a good one someday. Just cry and let yourself heal and then get back in the game. Good luck
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 38
view profile
giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/26/2009 12:04:40 PM
In South Florida, they're all nuts!
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 41
giving up on finding love
Posted: 1/26/2009 9:14:22 PM
You nailed it Bud !! Why all the whining during a separation??? GEEZE C'Mon be a Man !

I find it rather sad that a MAN can't admit failure in one relationship before beginning another, to drag yet another Woman into his pathetic contorted world. The same goes for Women.
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 43
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giving up on finding love
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:05:01 PM

Oh yes!!! I have heard that along with how educated and intelligent I am as well.

Usually I get one of three renditions of that - Choose one:

"You are a very nice person, hard working, educated, intelligent, able to hold a conversation on many levels........"

1. "but I just don't think you are the one for me" "
2. "the chemistry isn't there"
3. "maybe we can just be friends and go to movies, dinner, etc"

The last choice really tickles my torment as the person ALWAYS promises to call, correspond, etc and never, ever follows thru! If you don't really mean it, then don't say it! Needless to say, I just take it all with a huge grain of salt as I know it's a bunch of B.S.

If I had a penny for everytime I have heard these renditions of rejection, I could retire today and live quite well.

Ya Gotta love it! So that is in part and parcel of why I have walked away from the dating scene altogether because when you get down to the brass tacks of it, it's just really a bunch of bullsh*t. I know I am better off and my life is not so complicated.

You're spot on, renegadeoutlaw.

I get these wooden-spoon compliments too.

People who say these things think they are being nice, but really they are fobbing us off by being reserved at least and dishonest at most.

The next person who says these things to me - I'll do one or all of three things :-
1. punch them
2. tell them to f*** off
3. stop listening and abandon them!
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 47
giving up on finding love
Posted: 2/8/2009 1:43:18 AM
Take a break. Turn off you computer. After at least a week or more, change your profile, put up a couple new pics and see what happens. Go to an event here and there. Find a band you like to listen to and get outside your normal circle.
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 48
giving up on finding love
Posted: 2/8/2009 10:19:12 AM
OP what is the common denominator on all these bad women you chose? You.

I see friends constantly choose bad people, and then when it goes bad, they blame the opposite sex.

YOu need to take responsibility and concentrate on why you dont choose a good person to date. If you choose wisely, even if it doesnt' work out, you have a friend.
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