Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Buidling up a relationship in your head, no way to match in real life      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 agenteightysix
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Buidling up a relationship in your head, no way to match in real lifePage 1 of 1    
Well your mind sounds desperate and almost stalkerish. I don't think you are but ,that dialogue kinda gives that off. First, I think it is good you see this thought process as a problem. So what are your options. Lets suggest that you get a date. What are the chances you are going to be awkward on a date with someone you like? Possibly good. Like an interview for a job, or giving a speech in front of people we have to practice to be more comfortable with it. So lets start you off with more informal ways of dating. First invite a few people to your house apt, for cards, and drinks. Invite a few people out for dinner and drinks. It might be more comfortable and much easier to ask for phone numbers if you feel like you are not just inviting them out or over. Then through the night learn more about them and let them talk. Ask them question? Look at her body language. Find a friendly way to touch her, like on the shoulder. Someone once told me learning to be comfortable physically starts with small things like that. At the end of the evening walk her to her car, do not expect a kiss just be polite and tell her you would like to get to know her better.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 8
Buidling up a relationship in your head, no way to match in real life
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:18:29 PM
OP, you have to be careful about building someone's personality in your head. When you build someone up like that it won't be their fault when they disappoint you, it will be your own. Believe it or not, a lot of relationships end for this very reason.

Instead of creating a persona for the next woman you are interested in make yourself get to know them. That can be such an exciting journey.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Buidling up a relationship in your head, no way to match in real life
Posted: 11/8/2008 1:08:24 PM
these "fantasies" are another reason you should not chat on IM and the phone forever when meeting peeps online....u build up this relationship in your head that doesn't exist yet.
The reality isn't always nearly as good as the fantasy....and people end up extremely disappointed with the reality that are sitting across from.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Buidling up a relationship in your head, no way to match in real life