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 AUTHOR
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 2
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History
Funny Song LyricsPage 1 of 1    
Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt once left a bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet.
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street..

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by.
One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye.
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built.
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be,
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marveled for a moment and then one said we must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along.
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes,
Oh! lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o,
Ring die diddley i o.
Oh! lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize.
 Wottacatchâ„¢
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 3
Funny Song Lyrics
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:45:16 AM
Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it I'm not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why I am not at work today

Whilst working on the 14th floor some bricks I had to clear
But tossing them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased he is an arkward sod
And he said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod

Clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down

Well the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
But I clung on tightly none with shock from this almighty blow
While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some 14 floors below

When these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
But I clung on tightly to the rope my body racked with pain
And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again

Now the force of this collision halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock
But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

Now as I lay there on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier so started down once more
It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke 3 ribs and my left arm and I can only say
I hope you`ll understand why I am not at work today .
 PAClassyLady
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 5
Tea Effing Eff.
Posted: 1/25/2009 1:49:06 AM
I see Britney Spears has again made the news. (C'mon now, don't look so surprised!) This time it's actually over her music and not for her public behavior. In England they are refusing to play a song sung by her that contains the lyrics "If you seek Amy." It's funny if you read it out loud and actually not a bad SN for someone seeking an intimate encounter. *blush*

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