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Show ALL Forums  > Ontario  > Difficult to meet people with no children      Home login  
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 DJ_Lil_Jay
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 7
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Difficult to meet people with no childrenPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I agree that it can be difficult to meet women who don't have children. Most of the women I have met through here and have expressed an interest in do have kids. My ex girlfriend had 3 kids and I got along with them great! so I don't mind kids at all.

I do have worries about having kids someday who are born with the same disability I have or have other health issues. So in some ways I wouldn't mind to be in a relationship with a woman who has kids but doesn't want anymore. I know there is ways to lower the chances of having children born with birth defects if me and my partner wanted to have kids.

For sure there is women out there who don't have kids but to me that number is less than those who are moms.
 Nolly_
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 8
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/20/2008 12:29:14 AM
I'm having a similar problem. My 'child' is an adult with a life of her own but most men my age have at least one child under 12. Now, it's not that I dislike children (quite the opposite actually!)
What I DON'T like is the drama that inevitably ensues when dealing with the child's mother. (I truly wish it wasn't this way but, it in past experiences, it always has been)
Even if I do happen upon a guy without kids, he usually wants to have them at some point in the future. Again, having more is not an option for me.
 Danteslnferno
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 10
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Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/12/2009 2:20:24 PM
I've met plenty of women who don't have kids even in my thirties. It is more difficult however. I find that many women who don't have kids are real career oriented, which is why they haven't had children.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 14
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/23/2009 10:31:28 AM
OP - I'm sure there are smart women out there your age, that are holding off having children until when and if the time is right.
 Julyblonde
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 16
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/24/2009 9:23:37 AM
GuitarPlayer45:
Not some dead beat dad's kids ???????? It's excess baggage ??

LMAO.. Well, you definitely showed your age there..NOT all single mom's have deadbeat ex's...in fact statistics prove that it is an extreme small percentage...3 % to be exact...

LOL

Too funny...

JB
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 18
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:11:49 AM
Women are coming down pretty hard on the OP here. Having children or getting married to the wrong person in your teens or 20s does not make you "grown up".
If the OP wants his first NOT to be with someone who has already "been there and done that" what is so wrong with that? Would he be more mature if he knocked up someone in his twenties? Women are having babies they can't even be a proper parent to with men who are not even decent father material from the start. He's not being mean or nasty about what he wants. Getting involved with someone who already has children from previous relationships makes things a heck of a lot more complicated and chaotic. Why should he have to step into someone else's dysfunction?
 Julyblonde
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 19
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 7:38:30 AM
It is everyone's right and opinion to be with who they want to be....
children or no children....

No one is saying any different ..BUT what IS getting people's back's up is the comments like...

Why should he have to step into someone else's dysfunction???

Good Grief....Why do you assume that the parents/family/kids are dysfunctional ??????

and the assumption that all families that have been split or separated are automatically non functioning families and or parents...or the fathers are automatically deadbeat Dad's or Mom's ????

Never ass u me......

Just my two cents worth.....


JB

 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 21
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:16:34 PM
I'm just saying if everything was wonderful in the home they would still be with their spouses. Divorce (whether amicable or not) or absent fathers causes dysfuntion in the family life. To think that the remaining spouse or the children are not affected by it is definitely denial. It's not that a single mother isn't a good person and not saying they deserve the strife they go through, they just have a much harder road. I have tried dating a couple of single fathers and they either never had time for me or they had so much drama going on with ex's restraining orders and disagreements concerning the child or children. I didn't want to get in the middle of it.
 Danteslnferno
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 24
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Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 3:29:10 PM
fostec, I checked your profile and you are 28. 2 more years or less before you hit the BIG 3 OH and you are still single. With your ugly attitude you are going to e single into your forties and fifties. What if a handsome (not going to happen but for the sake of argument) 35 year old man approaches you one day and wants to go out on a date? Are you going to rebuke him (rebuke meaning reject him) because he is over thirty and dating?

Most 30 year old women have children? Man, I feel sorry for all those women 30 or older who don't. According to you they failed at being a woman huh? In fact, though many women at or above the age of thirty have kids, many many of them do not.

Seriously fostec, get out of your own a$$ and grow up.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 26
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/30/2009 7:47:25 AM
By 30 one would expect to have kids, I think about 26 is the right age to start having kids though, finished college/university, have a stable job and you are more then likely in a good relationship with someone. If they are going to commit to you fully then having kids is certainly a great thing, I wouldn't want to be having kids after 35 though, my cousin and her husband did it and had trouble for a long time doing it.

You can't just schedule when you are going to have children during your lifetime, especially when you are young and single. It is counting your chickens before they're hatched, the cart before the horse. Until you've found a stable, steady, partner or spouse, there is really no point in saying when you'd like to have them. Growing up in a single parent home, I always knew I never wanted to have children unless I knew they would have a father in the home too. My not having children at 45 is no accident, it is NOT cause I'm barren, hate sex,hate children, hate men, or because I'm unnattractive. It is because I was smart and used proper protection and birth control since I have not found anyone that I wanted to marry or knew they would stick around for the long haul. People have children totally for the wrong reasons. In today's world with the family planning and birth control methods that are available, children don't have to be just an accident. They are worth more than that. Find the "right person" first, then bring another human being into world.
 Nora_D
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 40
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Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 3/20/2010 6:48:20 AM
I feel like a fish out of water, but I have to say: we're out here (I'm 42, I'm married-and-poly, both my husband and I have been married before, neither of us have children.)

Nor do I lump myself in the career-driven category of child-less women; yes, I had a great career before leaving it of my own volition to do an unrelated Master's degree, during which time I had a laproscopic tubal ligation because children just aren't ever going to happen. For some of us, it's simply a choice, a certainty we've always had, and has nothing to do with careers or partners... it's just who we are :)

(Although by the same token, I also deliberately shy away from dating people who have kids, not because I'm afraid of stepping into other people's convoluted relationship woes, and mostly because I'm simply not overly fond of children under the teen ages.)
 schmeckle
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 41
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Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/6/2010 4:53:41 AM
Man, do I agree with you, dude! How the hell do they have very few women without children on here. I am not looking for a family I can attach myself to. I want to start my own awesome family. And, the way it looks...I hope I'm wrong...doubtful, but very few of these people with kids are going to have a great chance to succeed with there kids. The kids will be mediocre at best and they are going to be tired and dejected all through life. Great way to raise a kid! (smell the sarcasm)
 DigitalEnigma
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 43
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/17/2010 4:05:30 PM
See I'm having the opposite, I already have 2 kids that live with my ex. But most women seem to think that means baggage...go figure lol
 mrmanOman
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 44
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Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 3/27/2011 7:34:27 PM
to true i think its easy for girls to find guys w/o kids but i swear its a pain trying to find a lady w/o kids AHHHHHHRG!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 48
Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 8/12/2012 11:51:44 AM

Women are coming down pretty hard on the OP here. Having children or getting married to the wrong person in your teens or 20s does not make you "grown up".
If the OP wants his first NOT to be with someone who has already "been there and done that" what is so wrong with that? Would he be more mature if he knocked up someone in his twenties? Women are having babies they can't even be a proper parent to with men who are not even decent father material from the start. He's not being mean or nasty about what he wants. Getting involved with someone who already has children from previous relationships makes things a heck of a lot more complicated and chaotic. Why should he have to step into someone else's dysfunction?


Beautifully said.


Why do you assume that the parents/family/kids are dysfunctional ??????


Because it didnt work with the ex.

The term "dysfunction" means "it doesnt work"......literally. (LOL) You cannot get any more literal and straight up than that.

Perhaps we should change the term and meanings of "dysfunction" and "awesome" in order to not hurt your feelings?

It is what it is kid


You can't just schedule when you are going to have children during your lifetime,


Actually; if you have your sh*t together enough, you most certainly "can".


It is because I was smart and used proper protection and birth control since I have not found anyone that I wanted to marry or knew they would stick around for the long haul.


Again; I find that beautiful.


in this day and age I know of plenty of women that are single parents by choice


What exactly does this mean? They found a guy, asked him to inseminate, and let him go off to his own life; with no request for child support or any further drama or contact? (like a sperm bank?)


When dating or relationships today, most not all but most single mother's are seeking role models for their children.


That's what I originally thought. Then, I realized that most single moms were seeking entertainmnent, validation in their own worth, and funding for their and their childs lifestyle; from a man who really could not (by law) hold any sway or decision over any of the woman or childs decisions.

==========================

If I'm not mistaken, it is easier and less risk for women to date men with women; since women are often not hit for child support after one year of being in the kiddos lives full time? (Is that correct?)
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