Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason t      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Just finished reading most of the posts in that rape thread. Some pretty selffish guys in there for sure. But it also seems that they don't like being turned by a woman no matter what she feels or how she is feeling. I like for a woman to be in the mood when I make my move on her. I want her to be into it. Not because she's either scared I will leave or some other consequence that she might recieve from me crying and pouting like a little b*tch.

So I have a question for all of you. Is being turned down for sex even once, a good enough reason to end a relationship?
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 2
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/8/2008 11:29:18 AM

So I have a question for all of you. Is being turned down for sex even once, a good enough reason to end a relationship?


it would be a good enough reason for a WOMAN to end the relationship (if SHE initiated/proposed sex and he turned her down..)

but not for a MAN to end it (if HE initiates and she turns him down)..
 cdmiller
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:07:13 PM
To Palmer: Generally, NO!!! but it depends on the context of the question.

As to the "Double Standard" - this is usually fixed with better communication and better understanding of your partner. When they need it, and you don't... and vice versa....

This "double standard" has been around for a long time and it won't change. I am not really sure if we can call it a double standard, as it is just one more difference between men and women (I am speaking in generalizations).
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 4
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:46:51 PM
Nope. But...

If a man turns me down for sex within a committed relationship, I try the next day. If it happens often, I will ok elsewhere.

If he does it on one of our weekly dates, I may, indeed, go looking elsewhere immediately. Once a week isn't that often--suck it up and take one for the team.

Also, it depends why he is saying no. To hurt me? He's too tired? He's watching TV? If he doesn't find me sexually attractive enough to want to please me, but feels that "any port in a storm" so he'll screw me occasionally at his pleisure [intended misspelling], I am --of course-- kicking him to the kerb [intended weird spelling].
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:58:41 PM
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?

If she's giving it to everyone else but me....


 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:46:18 AM

Are we talking about sex inside a relationship?
If so being turned down once is not reason to end the relationship. Sometimes it is just not the time... men do say no. Does it hurt? Yep it does but we do get over it. If it continues to happen that he says no then I would think there is a problem. It would be discussed and solved I hope... otherwise I would have to take stock of the relationship to see if there was a solid base and reason to stay.


Yes I am talking about a relationship. I was just commenting on some of the guys on here that have said or suggested that they would end a relationship because a woman turned them down.

That to me would be bordering on someone being enslaved to that person. Sex on demand or no relationship. Now that to me would suck big time.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2008 11:07:34 AM

Really depends on how often it happens. Sometimes, the man or the woman is "not into it" and you have to accept that. But if someone was not into it all the time? I'd try to discuss it and if I got no willingness to even discuss it then YES leave leave leave.


Well I think I should've made it a little clearer. I'm talking every once in a while, but not every time. I can see if they were saying no everytime. Then that would some cause for concern, but saying every now and then shouldn't be cause to end a relationship unless what you thought you have is a sex slave.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 8
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2008 12:02:00 PM
Getting turned down is one thing. It happens, she's having her period, in a bad mood, having PMS, had a bad day at the office, had a bad hair day. Now, when they start to add up to the point that what you have here is a complete lack of interested then you are dealing with something else and that could mean that she is no longer as attracted to you, or that she has a miss-matched libido.

The trick is trying to recognize which one of these you are dealing with.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:39:15 PM
No. Only when it gets to be so much of a habit, that it seems like she's just politely hinting that she's just not that into you.
 sydneyleigh
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:49:51 PM
I won't end a relationship if I get turned down for sex, usually.
It honestly depends on how I'm turned down, and on what frequency it occurs.

I want sexual compatibility in my relationship - if I want sex a lot more that my partner, we have an issue that needs to be solved, or I need to find a better relationship.

sydney
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 11
Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:57:05 PM
Nope, not good enough. Next question, please.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship?