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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?      Home login  
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 GGarbo
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 2
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I'm cool with it. A lot of my ex's were good looking and didn't know it. They refused to accept other people were flirting with them either. I'm actually kind of the same way so it worked out. I didn't have to worry about them straying or them me because neither of us knew if people were attracted to us or not.

It's kind of funny because you'd think we'd appreciate really flirty people but we don't...we find them pushy.

We also seem to be a lot less superficial than a lot of people. Attractiveness still matters but we don't tend to judge people on appearances. It took us awhile to move beyond friends to relationship because of this though. But once they did get off the ground, we were very loyal to each other and the relationships lasted quite awhile.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 3
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:50:55 PM
This is weird and a bit like "true confessions".

I don't think I'm hot.
I know I am.
Or rather I can be.
I can also be a total slob, or a total nympth - all in my mood.
I'm a woman and those change.

Oh well...that's how we roll.

As to men? Generally I fall faster for men I think are hot, that aren't.
I see different aspects of a man as being hot.
Not just physical assets.
Many pretty boys are NOT hot, but they think they are.
I think this is the largest misunderstanding among the sexes.

What is hot inside a guy's head - isn't what women see as being hot.
Not always.
And vice versa I am sure.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:35:12 PM
When I was a very young child, Elizabeth Taylor was the most beautiful woman in the world...my dad thought she looked like a monkey. There's no accounting for taste. The only thing that matter is if the person you love and find extremely attractive, finds you the same way, who cares what others think.
 insearchofsum1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 6
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:38:54 PM
The last two posters actually had a point when talking about confidence. It's a scientific fact that MOST women are attracted more towards personality & true confidence being a large part of that. Whereas men are more attracted to looks. Is this true for everyone? No, but for most, yes. Think about how many times you've seen a beautiful woman with an ok or less than average looking guy. Then think about how many guys while growing up had posters on their walls of centerfolds. It's actually in the genetic structure & subconscious for a female to be attracted to an "alpha" male & same goes for a woman. They just have different views on the "alpha" part. I guess you could say that women are more stimulated emotionally, as they are genetically more emotional creatures than men due to their hormones. Same goes for men, it goes back to their hormones & they are stimulated visually. This is why you have women chasing "bad boys", and I use that term loosely because it is actually geared towards confidence. "Bad boys" exude confidence & centerfolds exude visual stimulation. Damn, who the heck is gonna read this anyway??...lol.
 JonIn92656
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 7
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:14:09 PM
I AM HOT!
I SAID IT!
I BELIEVE IT!
THAT SETTLES IT!
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 8
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:36:57 PM
Gonesailing, message 4, pretty much has summerized it for me. Especially, this one:

I don't think I'm hot.
I know I am.
Or rather I can be.
I can also be a total slob, or a total nympth - all in my mood.
I'm a woman and those change.


Right in this moment, I don't feel hot, but I did feel 'hot' a week ago,under certain circumstances. It changes, and overall I don't think it matters on grandiose scale, although I know I like that feeling, when it's there, and there are times I don't really care either.

By the way, I don't think Brad Pitt is the sexiest man alive, I don't consider him hot.
And, then there maybe good looking men who consider themselves hot, and women who see them sexy, but this isn't universal truth. There are women who would simply ignore them and wouldn't even notice them.
 chrispickles
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 10
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/9/2008 11:08:53 PM
all i know is, that my statue im kissing is very hott. you dont meet many objects in life you fall head over heels for. im the lucky one to find a hot statue.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 11
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 12:23:55 AM
As is true in so many aspects of life, it's a matter of finding the balance.

A person isn't just what their appearance is, but in romantic terms, physical attraction can't be ignored totally.

IMO, it's what you value and place importance on.

Ehh...what the hey...I'll just toss this lighter fluid on the fire. Women have many more options in regards to "looks" than men do. Clothes, makeup, hairstyles...heels....we can "purty" ourselves up more than men.

While I don't discard it completely, it's not anywhere near a priority with me. I pay a lot more attention to how someone makes me feel when I'm with him than if he's wearing an expensive suit that he looks fabulous in.

What's the most important is that I can be comfortable and be "me" when we spend time together. Yeah, I can do the full out...hair, makeup....perfect dress...blah blah, but if I don't enjoy the time we spend together because I'm thinking more about checking to see if my lipstick looks good....ehhh...that is snooze city.

It's those times when you're so engrossed in the conversation and so enjoying it that you don't remember or care what you're wearing, or if you laugh so much it makes your mascara run....ugh. More than once, I've been sitting in a "nice restaurant" dressed for it and laughed so hard it not only drew attention, I was wiping my eyes with my very properly ironed cloth napkin. Truth be told, at times it was me laughing...would rather be laughing with...but sometimes it all can't be controlled.

It has been pretty important, but I DO like to talk on the phone...ehh...not to just talk, but I love to hear the full out belly laugh. If I love to hear them laugh...I can't honestly say it doesn't mean anything.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 12
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 12:52:14 AM

The only thing that matter is if the person you love and find extremely attractive, finds you the same way, who cares what others think.


Thanks for that....totally agree!!

This is SOO true, the men that I've loved and have loved me, it wasn't about what I was wearing or how I "looked". I've been out on a date, in a sudden rainstorm, in a "nice dress" and kicked off my heels, and laughed while I enjoyed splashing in puddles.

Brings back memories, I enjoyed doing that as a child....so not much has changed. If doing that makes me "unattractive" to a "date" then they're not the person for me.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 13
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 2:48:49 AM
Well since like the OP, I'm "looking for" friends........it does make me wonder (maybe even wander...ehh...another thread) I reckon it's a requirement that you only have "hot" friends.

"Personally, I think more in terms of handsome, polite, sweet and all that schmooshy stuff... " Ahh...I see your schmooshy and raise you....haha...I call it smooshy but hey that's a "ch" between friends. (I think I like schmooshy better!) Akk...no toasters or can openers...maybe one of those foot warmer thingies...just saying.
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 14
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 3:13:32 AM
Do hot flashes count, because if so than I'm SIZZLING
 kane stays
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 15
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 5:16:41 AM
I have never thought of myself as hot. If I hear a man whistle I always assume there has to be another woman near me. I dated a guy who thought I was beautiful. He said I reminded him of the song,She don't know she's beautiful. He was sweet and we were in love. I chalked it up to love being blind. My wish is for inner beauty. I hope that anyone I become friends with will remember me for what I am on the inside. I know how the outer part ends up. I see it every day where I work. You know one of the most beautiful woman I ever knew was 95. she filled me with joy every time we talked.
 jjerry
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 17
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 5:30:17 AM
I was hot last summer, but the weather changed.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 20
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:36:08 AM
hot? i wish....actually at the moment it's bloomin' freeeeezing!

(: does that look kind of freaky to anyone else?)
 Flaccid P. Nuss
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 21
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:47:52 AM
As long as she thinks she's hot while we're in the bedroom that's the most important time.

I love when a women struts while naked.

 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 22
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:47:55 AM
I don't really consider myself an attractive person - if that is what you mean by hot.

Despite a lot of musings on the forums - Physical appearance does seem to play an important role in who is 'hot'. Just my experience, and I'm not bitter about it because I know I am the same way. Not to mention, I feel it's normal to be attracted to a person's physical appearance. Sure, the intellectual stimulation might do it for others - But from the women I've met, only a small percentage use intelligence/personality as the dominant factor when determining someone is hot.

It usually seems to be a healthy combination of the two. Which is fine to me. I think a lot of women would rate me a 5/10 (if we had to use scales) when all things are considered about me (not very attractive).

As far as being with a woman who was totally smoking hot, but didn't know it. I think i'd actually feel more comfortable with someone like that than someone who was hot and knew it.

While confidence is sexy, I'd feel more relieved and less pressured into trying be so perfect and I'd feel more comfortable with myself.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 24
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 10:41:55 AM
What is hot?....
What is not?....
its a difficult spot....
If I was hot....
then another would be not....
again a difficult spot,
is it not??
then what is hot???....
what I know I should do, but I do not...
now that I have put you on the spot...
you might get just a little hot.....
and why not????
hot is not what I got, but rather what I want...
If I want what I don't got, that is another difficult spot...

So I must lay on a cot...
and once again ponder what is hot and what is not...
until I know what it is I've got, ..... or not
...........

as I rose from my cot....
I have only this thought, and if I don't tell you it will rot

then it must be intellect, character, soul, heart, purpose, integrity, stability and healthy choices in life and lifestyle.... now THAT is what's hot.... is it not????
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 26
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 11:04:06 AM
Does it really matter if someone else thinks your hot?

That's the only time it's valid...when someone else thinks it. But it's gotta be more than one person. You're only hot if a lot of people think you are.
What if you don't believe it?

Doesn't matter. If a lot of people believe it, than I am.
What if You think You're hot, but no one else seems to?

That's called delusional, not hot. I cannot be hot if no one else validates it.
So, how bout 'you'. If you think someone is hot, but they do not.. are you cool with that?

Usually, if I think someone is hot, that's all that matters to me. However, if I'm the only one who thinks the other person is hot, I would question my tastes.

A lot of people don't take stock in the image rating hot or not thing. I think it gives people a more accurate picture of oneself. If you're average looking, your votes should look like a bell shaped curve centered around 5. The further right your average, the hotter you are. The further left, the less hot you are. Most people think they're a couple points higher than they really are.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 27
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 11:08:59 AM
My poor fellow had to wait until he was in his 40's before a woman (me) told him he was hot. Poor man was under this impression he was kinda, well, average... sheesh Suffering from delusions of average, he's always thought he had developed intelligence, repartee and schmaltz to compensate.

He most definitely is hot because I am, of course, the most objective observer of hot men. Now clued in, he is kinda getting into this new found hottie thang he has going and I'm lovin' it.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 28
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 11:13:02 AM
Yes. However, since I lack the drama and nonsense that the opposite sex seems to be drawn to, and the fact that they don't want to take the time to get to know anyone anymore...they just don't know how hot.
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 29
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 12:06:34 PM
OP, remind me to send you a hot potato for starting this thread...... which has more importance for *some* than others..... (Hey, when you've been locked out of another "hot" thread, ya gotta take drastic action!)

'Kay....... First, I wanna let ya'll know that I did indeed take my temperature, and YES, I'm hot.

but everyone is at least a little warm in at least one of those areas.

And NO, I did NOT take my temp "down there"..... I already KNOW what areas are hot.

And on a serious note, even though that was not where our illustrious OP was taking us, there are degrees of hotness.... *like that? "degrees"?!?! Oh, I slay me.....
Some are hot, but not much to look at..... *think Hollywood here folks....
Some are hot, but only to you... *re: Bucsgirl's post....
Some are hot, but not until noon... *SOOOO not naming anyone here....
Some are hot, but only to their dog or kitty... and you know who you are....
Some are hot, but not to you.... For gawd's sake, would someone tell Markus that already?!?!

Point is, hot is really the stuff that pin up calenders are made of. Anything else falls into reality and the other categories that are made fun of on a daily basis here in the Forum world.

Shall we:
Cute
Beautiful
Sexy
Pretty

whatever............... I'll just be sitting over here, counting my toes until someone sends me a gift for posting.....
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 30
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 12:13:08 PM

I'll just be sitting over here, counting my toes until someone sends me a gift for posting

You could consider re-gifting that being as you owe *some* people a toaster oven ... hmmm.

Related to hotness... What is a drag is when people won't/can't accept a compliment.
 ClearlyAmazingM
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 31
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 12:45:59 PM
I find myself to be HOT, by the way women look at me, the warm smile...and many times they hit on me (Flirting) . As for everyone else....if a person is able to put a smile on their face, that would make he/she Hot looking. Except of course, if you have all your teeth missing ( Then that would be a problem)
 DharmaF
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 33
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He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 9:08:25 PM

A.S.: All this hot talk has me thinking ..

Does it really matter if someone else thinks your hot?


hmmm. Only if I adore them to pieces. So yes. But only in that case.


What if you don't believe it?


Well, if I didn't believe it, that would mean that I don't know who I am. Since I know who I am it doesn't matter to me. To know is better to believe. Especially in the face of adversity.


What if You think You're hot, but no one else seems to?


Well that's never going to happen. LOL


Is it "cool" to know you're "hot" or is that "hot" too??


I'd rather be smart than hot.


But seriously, if I think a man is hot, but he is insecure or thinks he is somehow inferior .. well that diminishes his hotness a degree or 3, same as someone who is too up on their own self.. Vanity isn't cool - or hot!


Exactly! What even lowers their hotness many degrees is vanity & stupidity. Some men have started off as hot to me & lowered themselves to such a subcatagory that there is no other name for it but.... ugly on the inside. Sigh.


So, how bout 'you'. If you think someone is hot, but they do not.. are you cool with that?


Uh why wouldn't I be?


Thoughts?

btw - this is Not about the "men/women who think you are hot" feature that admin is querying. This is about "being Hot", "Knowing you are hot" .. and/or the person you think is hot and how that would change depending on their own personal hotness meter.

((there are no toasters or coffee pots being given away in this thread .. unless you brought your own, in which case just leave it at the door .. thank you!))


Okay.... all joking aside....... I really don't care about anyone's "Hotness Factor". I never could. I'm all about the personality. WHO are they? I crave substance like some people are addicted to chocolate. What's even worse is being with someone you adore to pieces & thinks that you are hot but they can't wrap their minds around why you are with them then ruin it.

It's like they wished for this awesome gift for their birthday or Christmas. Then they actually receive the gift. Then instead of enjoying the gift, they get pi$$ed off at the gift, curse out the giver of the gift & constantly wonder if they deserved the gift to begin with. Totally forgetting to feel blessed & enjoy the gift!!!!

Yeah. Screw hotness. Give me substance!
 brawler_
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 35
He Thinks She's Hot.. She Thinks He's Hot - Do you Know You're Hot?
Posted: 12/10/2008 10:33:54 PM
everyone is hot
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