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 h9i2
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 1
Ground RulesPage 1 of 1    
I think we can all agree that people are part of this site for a variety of reasons, i.e. love, friendship, fun, etc.

As a guy who was in a 23 year relationship (7 dating-16 married) with his high school partner, I fing myself being reluctant to fall hard and committ to a new relationship. I also have two daughters ( 15 and 13 ) that I'm very protective of. Yet, I love being with someone and the feeling we all get when we meet a great person. So, with all that said; here's the question:

If I am completely honest about my reluctance and a woman still wants to "hang out" with me, do her expectations about "what" we are, change when we become intimate?
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 3
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Ground Rules
Posted: 12/12/2008 7:37:45 PM
You should talk to the woman in question about that.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 4
Ground Rules
Posted: 12/14/2008 1:02:52 PM
So basically you are asking if, you are meshing with someone and there have been NO expectations and she fully understands (or you have at least told her such!) that you have major reluctance to be in a defined "relationship"....but then you fvck...are you suddenly committed??

Nope! Sex does not equate to committment...and it might be wise to have a discussion prior to...cause I have seen a LOT of women on this site who seem to think such. Otherwise you will be reading HER post next..."He slept with me so I assumed he loved me and started picking out china...now he is gone!"

 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 8
Ground Rules
Posted: 12/15/2008 6:34:20 AM
I TOTALLY agree with what you are saying, Susie...however...usually when the woman starts to feel an emotional attachment, the man is either there too...or she can sense he is not. Sex does not equal committment. Passion comes without love! Period. If you think it DOES, then you are BOUND to get hurt. Does not make it right, or does not make it where you must accept it. But if you dislike such, then don't put out until you have a ring or marriage certificate! (argh...kinda like buying a car without driving it first!)

HONESTY is the key word, and unfortunately, HONEST is not always HONEST, ya' know what I mean?? Just cause your friend tells YOU one thing...well, you do not know what he or she was telling their...victims! LOL Key point...be HONEST with the partner AND YOURSELF. :O)

I swear, I think I was a man in a previous life or something...or maybe I should have been born a man!
 frtnhnfloed
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 9
Ground Rules
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:12:03 AM
Kat lets be glad u were not born a man, that would be such a waste

Not even a nice picture LOL

 pizza_chef1
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 10
Ground Rules
Posted: 12/15/2008 12:01:32 PM

Kat lets be glad u were not born a man, that would be such a waste



Agrees wholeheartedly with George...


OT... I have found it may start as FWB or NAS but one party or another ends up with an emotional attachment... Just my opinioin...

 previouslyme
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 13
Ground Rules
Posted: 12/20/2008 7:53:09 PM
Okay. I guess the ground rules don't count even if they are verbalized. And it doesn't matter if you don't have what it takes to explain why you can't stand by your word.

I also thought the people that let you think they are your friends think it is okay to add flames to the fire.
 previouslyme
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 14
Ground Rules
Posted: 12/21/2008 12:15:27 PM
Electronic dating has changed a lot of what I thought the rules were. I plan to enjoy the friendships and connections I have made. I will head back to a good place one step at a time. I will retain what I consider my values. We each have our own. I will not judge, I may want to understand, but that is my thing. I like to understand what makes people do the things they do. I trust my instincts, they have proven to be 95% correct, yes down a little from a year ago. It is the unknown that is intriguing sometimes.
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