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Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 1
HerpesPage 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Herpes is such a social stigma. It is just a virus. No cure yet. Herpes is not that bad, really. If you do have herpes, then I suggest you just come out and say so in your profile. I did. It is better that you say it sooner than later.
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 2
Posted: 12/13/2008 9:34:52 AM
haha gross. Isnt there a website where people like you can meet?
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 3
Posted: 12/13/2008 9:41:45 AM
Dear David.. I, for one, applaud you for your candor; however, you hit it on the head when you assert NO CURE YET...

Herpes is a major deal and I'm sorry that you have contracted it.
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 4
Posted: 12/13/2008 9:50:16 AM
Although, OP I do appreciate that you are honest enough to put it in your profile, I don't appreciate you or others with herpes and similar saying it's no big deal. Well, to people that don't have it, we DO think its a very big deal. Just because they are showing commercials for valtrex and similar on the tv, doesn't mean it is in anyway the norm.
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 5
Posted: 12/13/2008 9:55:01 AM
OP, I applaud you in being upfront and honest about it and not letting it rule your life. I have a very dear friend who met a fellow, fell in love, quit using condoms and BAM! Contracted herpes. He never bothered to tell her that he was infected. She has since married him and had two beautiful children and does NOT let it affect her life whatsoever.

IMO, NO STD is a walk in the park... but I suppose if you have it and there's no cure for it... you can do one of two things. Get busy living or get busy dying. There are sites and dating sites out there for people who not only have herpes, but other incurables as well. (Each is "disease specific").

I wish you the best of luck.
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 6
Posted: 12/13/2008 10:32:54 AM
as most stated, we agree that you putting the information up front is / would be appreciated by most...

In the same token, any STI/STD is not a walk in the park and such.. don't think of it as a no big deal, it is, for male/females that are not infected, we would like to remain as such.. somehow is not main stream.. and the one killer...

NO CURE.. I know.. we don't have a cure for the common cold neither.. but is not an STI/STD with all the ramifications that come with it...

good luck ..
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 7
Posted: 12/13/2008 11:29:01 AM
OP, what' s your point?

Of course it's better to say it up front, but who doesn't know that? And those of us who don't have it don't want it. There are plenty of women on this site who don't mention it until you actually ask them if they have it (I once talked with three in a single week, so believe me they're out there), but that doesn't make me want to get with them just because they admit it. We've all seen the pictures in science class or on google, and that shit's disgusting in severe cases.

If you're so passionate about getting your props for admitting you have it, then why not look on a herpes dating site for someone else who already has it? Women who don't already have it probably won't go on a dating site looking for an guy who has it, honest or dishonest. That not some kind of prejudice man, it's just common sense.
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 8
Posted: 12/13/2008 11:45:31 AM
The posts here really emphasize the OP's opening line, there is a terrible stigma attached to herpes.

I dont think the OP is saying, 'hey I have it, it's no big deal'...I think he is saying "I have it and it isnt as bad as people think it is'. I dont think he is recruiting for new members of the club though.

Sorry you have been infected, and although it has been commented that it is no biggie (like you are doing what is expected)that you tell upfront, I say it actually is a biggie.

Every single person I know who has been infected were done so by partners who suspected/knew they had it, and did not tell until they spread it to someone else. So I say OP, thank you for being honest. Wish more people were.

By the stats I last saw, odds are there are more herpes carrying folk right here on POF than any 'special' website for ...I dont think you will need to go to any of them...just stay honest and Ill bet ladies with the same issue will contact you privately.
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 9
Posted: 12/13/2008 1:19:08 PM
Wity, It takes courage to say it in open forum without a doubt. Putting in your profile gets it out of the way and assures you wont be giving it to someone. If everyone who had herpes did what you have done ,the spread of it would be contained for sure.

Lets face it, alot who have it say nothing, with the results of continuing its spread. For this reason its a condom or forget about it for me. Its not like you can tell by how the person looks, unless of coarse they have a visble out break.

As For your coment "it’s not really that bad" I think you have got the answer to that one and I would have to agree, But with this caveat, I don't think your bad because you have it.

Happy Holidays,
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 10
Posted: 12/13/2008 1:39:29 PM
Sucks to hear that, but don't fret on the responses. It is estimated that at least 1 in 4 adults has HSV and doesn't even know they have it. So, it could be these very people saying it is a big deal who might just be spreading the virus.

Let's not start with the amount of idiot adults who think a cold sore is not herpes...

Potentially some good news, but far away...
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 11
Posted: 12/13/2008 3:17:16 PM
OP, it's awesome that you're up-front and honest about.

It'd be equally as good if people would honest if they were alcoholics, lived a reckless lifestyle, or were drug addicts. But, we all know that most won't and some of us have had the displeasure of being sucked into it unwittingly.

Anyway, kudos to you for being so forthcoming and good luck!
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 12
Posted: 12/23/2008 12:36:27 AM
I (think I) understand what David is trying to say when he says that herpes is not that bad. The social stigma of herpes far outweighs the actual seriousness of the disease. Yes, there is no cure for herpes, but the majority of the symptoms are more of a nuisance than actual health threat.
There is the very serious risk of neonatal hsv infection. Precautions can be taken but a woman and her baby is most at risk if she contracts the disease while pregnant, unfortunately.
The worst part of herpes for most people is not the symptoms but the effect on their sex lives. Every encounter becomes a big deal. Many people will think you're slutty or stupid.
STDs are scary.
They estimate that over 80% of the population has herpes I, the cold sore virus, and that about 1 in 5 have herpes II, the genital strand. A lot of people don't realize that type one can get you down below and vice versa. Most people contract herpes from someone who has never had symptoms and didnt even know they had it.
I know people who don't worry because both they and their partners get screened for stds. Most clinics dont test for herpes because the common tests arent very accurate and other tests are very expensive.
In terms of medical problems, herpes is a minor one. Its still a health problem though and can be incredibly painful. Buy it is the social stigma that makes the disease so hard for so many people.
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 13
Posted: 12/23/2008 12:55:30 AM
There are so many forms of herpes. Chicken pox is a form of herpes. Anything that is a sore on the skin, basically, a form of herpes.

I think most just freak out because it appears in the genital region. I know that's why I would freak out. Not exactly pleasant to even think about.

There is good medication to control it, but I'm with most others, the stigma is very negative and I'd rather just avoid it if I can.
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 14
Posted: 12/23/2008 1:45:45 AM

I agree with Kirota. Women have much more to worry about re STDs and childbirth etc. Apparently women also are most susceptible of catching STDs than men. So we should be always insisting that men wear a condom.......................cheers.
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 15
Posted: 12/23/2008 2:47:18 AM
My old roommate told me she had herpes.. She did not tell her boyfriend and now he has it..
She said she never told him, because she knew he would leave her.. WHAT A ****!
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 16
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:02:34 AM
My fourth child was born with no problems, so what kirota says is not necessarily true. Wtih doctor supervision, normal child birth happens all the time. Ask your doctor.
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 17
Posted: 12/23/2008 8:48:23 AM
The guy didnt say anything about wanting to have kids, and if he did he is definetly being honerable and would disclose it to a S.O., so not sure where the child birth thing was brought out. as to the O.P's question. having said all that O.P. Im not so sure Id list an STD in my profile, I mean I think the only person who you need to disclose this to is someone who intimacy with is a great possibilty. A first date/meeting isnt even in the same country as being intimate. Wait til you know they are into you first then give them the choice to risk this or educate themselves. My own Opine
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 18
Posted: 12/23/2008 9:43:42 AM
OP, at least you're honest. I give you lots of credit for that. And you seem to handle the stigma well. Also, kudos.

Hopefully, you'll get many of the women who are here "only for friends". They'll have nothing to worry about catching, and they can talk to someone who's honest with them.

Joined: 9/28/2008
Msg: 19
Posted: 12/23/2008 10:45:32 AM
"I didn't know Jesus had herpes"

lmao. That was great.
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 20
Posted: 12/23/2008 10:52:23 AM
Just a correction: If a woman has it it is herpes. If a man does, it's himpes. And pimples are not specific to pimps. (There is no such things as a herple or a himple.)
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 21
Posted: 12/23/2008 11:02:13 AM
There may be no cure for herpes in the US or Canada but in Europe there is. Neovir (spell check) is a med they give your shots every other day for usually a week in some cases 2 weeks. That is it. Gone. I knew people who had them and many the majority never went for more than 3 shots. And it pretty much it.
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 22
Posted: 12/23/2008 2:03:45 PM
Nope, Neovir actually can fight the virus by itself. It is also used to fight some of the bacterial infections. It kills the cause and they do not come back. It stimulates your immune system to the extend that it fights this stuff off. It is like if you fight a cold off over a corse of 5-7 days and it is gone it is not going to come back unless it is another one from another source.
This is one from few things I am postive about. I am a nurse and have heard way too many cases on neovir and herpes and other viral infections.
Individuals who have herpes test positive with a bllod work either on herpse simplex 1 or 2. Upon a course of neovir the majority do not have this virus in their blood. As well as with frequent accidents of recurring do not report any outbreaks for years.Just facts.
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 23
Posted: 12/23/2008 3:05:29 PM
Herpes has destroyed my quality of life that much, leaving me with brain injury, chronic pain and fatigue etc etc . I believe the men who knowingly spread this thing to us clean living decent women just because it is no big deal to themselves - frankly I would like to see them have their legs broken and be left in a desert to die slowly.
God curse deliberate spreaders who infect others without their consent in every possible way for the rest of their degenerate and selfish lives. Most especially the doctors who should know better - who encourage disgusting men to deliberately spread their disease to the uninfected and not tell partners may they be similarly cursed. May the refusal of testing and medical treatment for people infected or wanting to know their std status - may these disgustingly arrogant doctors be held criminally liable. I believe the nature of this seemingly "mild" disease is changing to a whole lot more virulent strain than is currently appreciated. Aids was also originally regarded as "no big deal" - hard to believe now that the thing has mutated isn't it? But as this pandemic spreads like wildfire internationally - with no tracking, no notification protocols and no follow up for those suffering complications of virulent strains - we are setting ourselves up for one very unhealthy world in the future - thanks Doc.

Herpes may be no big deal to the men who seemingly get over it and their lives move on - ready to ruin another life. For decent human beings who refuse to destroy others - it is a very big deal indeed. How many suicides are Herpes related we will never know, how many victims of deliberate and nonconsenual infection later go on to commit suicide - their infectors will never know, and presumably will never care either.
Some of us, feel there is no reason to go on living at all after Herpes - and some of us were in supposed monogamous marriages when infected - so a little kindness and humanity towards others goes a very long way.
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 24
Posted: 12/23/2008 3:23:10 PM
I agree with the OP.

I do not have herpes. Not even as much as a cold sore. (Ok, I had chicken pox as a kid, I surrender) I do not react to antibodies for version 1 and 2.

But, it is VERY over stigmatized.

Do I want herpes? No.

For example:

Herpes is probably one of the scariest STD's out there as you can get it even with a condom. It's estimated that most infected people, don't even know they have it and unknowingly spread the disease.

Scary and "don't even know they have it". Therefore, it's not the disease itself that people are afraid of, it's the social stigma that you may get called gross, and maybe have a couple outbreaks in your lifetime if you're normal.

If you have frequent outbreaks, sucks to be you. If you have the type they show online and in medical textbooks, sucks to be you.

Human beings are witch hunters, as you've seen in this thread. Social stigmas don't mean anything, because let's face it, as proven here, society sucks and doesn't know what they're talking about.

People are scared of it for similar reasons that we should ban the chemical DHMO.
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 25
Posted: 12/26/2008 1:18:00 PM
Well, this is all so very confusing for me...and I used to be in the health profession!

My last two lovers each had herpes II...the sacral type (didn't know there was more than one type of HerpesII?...I didn't). The first one told me in advance. And when he had his first outbreak while with me...0ffered to sleep on the couch. He was that much afraid of it.

The second one..... ...had it but never told me or any of his other lovers. He had become infected in the 80's. We were the last few years. I discovered the "sore" on his thigh one night as we were becoming intimate. Stopped me dead in my tracks!!!! Then, we discussed that big nasty sore he had on his ankle the year before that he said was ring worm....!!!!!!

So....I went and had myself tested...for everything!!!! Unfortunately the doctor told me I would have to have an actual outbreak to see if I did carry the disease. One bright light for me was that the first time I saw the sore was 6 years ago. I have never had an outbreak. The doctor said its likely I do not have Herpes.

Still...condoms for me and a full disclosure to all (if any) future partners. Its the honorable thing to do. Witch Hunt or not...child safety or not...its just the right thing to do.
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