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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft      Home login  
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 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 2
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going softPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I think you might need to alternate between the "bop" up and down and the "slide" back and forth.

For most men it's the friction of going in and out of the vagina that stimulates to the point of ejaculation. That's what feels best. I've had to REALLY concentrate before on maintaining when a girl took too long doing the "slide" because there's no friction on the penis but more on the pelvic bone in the front. But if she just alternates every once in a while with the old in-and-out; no problems.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 3
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:19:10 PM
whats not to like ... girl on top is my favorite position .... if anything I stay harder because I can lay there and just enjoy watching my woman ride me and concentrate on flexing my abdominal mussels ..pumping more blood into my equipment ...and feeling her insides with every flex .... one tip when he is on bottom let him just lay there and hold the mussels tight while she slides back and forth ... however when the woman is on bottom it helps if she meets his thrust ...this seems to work best for both him and her...with man on bottom its hard to maintain a rhythm when both thrust ...just because of the mechanics of penetration

if he is trying to thrust upward he is lifting the woman which is tiring ..when she is on bottom she rises to meet his thrust ...when on top a guy typically supports his weight because of him being between your legs ...when a woman is on top he supports her weight because she is a straddle of him ..if he is bouncing up and down it dont take a very big woman for him to give out ... and psychologically he may know this from the start ...so he gives up to soon...even when the woman is on bottom she can lessen the work by sliding back and forth to meet his thrust ...but when on bottom his sliding will only cause it to slip out ...tell him to put his arms behind his head lay still and enjoy...it cant be that hard or should i say difficult

basically when he is on bottom he needs ti lie still ...when she is on bottom she needs to buck like a rodeo bull

when really horny this is the best position for me to control my finish....I like to time it and cum just as she finishes and falls forward onto my chest...and it may take ten minutes before either one of us can move
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 6
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:35:32 PM
OP, as I guy I can think of several reasons, One the guy has a medical issues he is not aware of, or his has had to much to drink, or his mind is elsewhere, The last and I mean no disrespect, he is not into you..

all that said, again I have no clue, but I would not look at it as if it is your issue, and because it has been with 3 guys, you just may have experienced the worst luck ever..

Now I love a woman on top, just being with a woman I'm attracted to keeps me up,,and she can ride all night,, but I have had my moments where alcohol has had it's negative effect,, :(... but it happens,,

Oh, heart medications as well as others can also cause a negative effects, as some men get older,, sucks to get old...
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 11
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:52:25 PM

I think it takes a bit of technique to be a good "woman rider" --never had any complaints myself

That is so true,, but a good horse can also buck, raise his ass of the bed and hold it there,,and help in the ridding process,, he can extend the reins, buy extending his arms,, her holding on now she can lean back as she rides, and he bucks,,I don't know of any women who want to ride a dead horse,, she needs action,,
 Need2possessu
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 12
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Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:52:46 PM
Its great that you get off that way!!! That said, you need to make sure to get into their heads, other one of course and make sure you are physically or mentally stimulating them also. I have no problem playing to a ladies orgasm as long as she is taking me for the ride. This may be a physical movement, for me its the "end points" in my ability to flex being reached gently but quickly or mentally, by keying in on either a turn on, such as breast play or kinks such as you being naughty by getting off that way, etc... Try asking them in advance when you are engaging in fore play, what trips their trigger and prepare to include it in the act.
 texastomich
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 14
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:56:08 PM
Kaylie simply put it just means that type of position doesn't turn them on or hit the right spot for them, its most likely nothing your doing wrong. People just like things different ways...although on top is the best thats for sure
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 15
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:59:30 PM

So basically when she was doing the slide you didn't feel stimulated?


I still feel stimulated but yes, there's a little less friction directly on the penis during the slide. However, I must say that Cowgirl is my favorite postion. I love seeing a woman on top of me and having control of her own orgasm. Plus, I'm a boob man and there's no better viewing position than cowgirl.

Also, as the above poster mentioned, you could actually be cutting off bloodflow too. Once again, though, simply alternating to up and down occasionally will allow the everything back into where it wants to be.

 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 17
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:14:16 PM

play with his grundle


What the hell is a "grundle"? I know I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday.
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 19
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Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:21:18 PM
Many factors-my ex squeezed so hard that I had no choice but to think of mundane things in order not to come too quick-it always feels so good with somebody you love and care for---going too fast can be a factor (woman wise) as well- go slow, with lots of kissing, ti$ licking, caressing, etc....usually means a great cash explosion for both!!
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 21
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:27:46 PM

p.s. Grundle is the prime piece of real estate located conveniently between Scrotumburg and Anusville lol


Ahhhh Soooo Grasshopper. AKA, the "Taint". Look at you, 23 and all grundled up. There's hope for our youth yet!

I was afraid it was something like the gristly flesh between someone's toes but yea, that'll probably do it.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 26
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:13:59 PM
For me, the rocking motion needs to be long enough to give a little in and out friction. If you can make the penis move from pointing toward his chest to pointing straight out, it's a good thing. It can hurt a little if he's raking across the cervix though.
 SeattleRob
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 27
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Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:30:07 PM
Hmmm. I've experienced this with two partners. Normally, I love a partner on top, especially when she is able to take her pleasure directly from the penetration (the same way I can when I'm on top) and I can just watch and enjoy and be happy as we share and connect.

Partner L: Very responsive sexually, but also a larger woman (which clearly you are not:-) and shaped inside differently than anyone else I'd experienced, such that in that position, the good parts just didn't line up. No worries, we more than made up for it in other ways...

Partner P: Beautiful woman (which clearly you are:-) but absolutely sexually passive. When she was on top there was only the mechanical mashing of sensitive parts together, so that even though everything "lined up", it didn't feel good at all. She'd also stated that she would never orgasm from just penetration (which I proved wrong several times later, but that's a different story:-)

From the female perspective, compare this:
Being mounted and mechanically pounded with no thought, compassion, comprehension.

To this:
Having a lover above you, looking into his eyes as he looks into yours. Your most sensitive parts are touching, but just barely, such that every movement, every twitch, every breath leaves you wanting more. The excitement of the anticipation is causing blood to flow to those sensitive parts, causing them to swell, moisture to form. And as your fluids combine with your partner's, it just adds another level of pleasure until you find yourself trying to pull him inside. And he can tell from your eyes, your cheeks, your lips when you're ready.
When he is guided by your responses, always learning and adapting to how you're feeling at the moment, almost seeming like he's reading your mind as he speeds up, slows down, fills you shallow, then fills you deep inside as you clutch and squeeze him.

I guess for me I derive most of my pleasure from how good I can make my partner feel. So when she's in the driver's seat (so to speak:) I like to hear what she's thinking, feeling so we can share the moment more closely. I especially enjoy it if she feels free and safe enough to share exactly what she's feeling, every little detail...
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 28
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:32:32 PM

If the angle is such that there is primarily pounding on the pelvic bone, with little friction on the penis, I will also get soft. The angles have to be right, and if they are, yeee hawww!


How can there be pounding without pistoning hips, stroking, friction? Sorry, just a conceptual difficulty.

Actually, OP, last lover preferred to grind her pelvis into mine-lotsa clit stimulating goin on, and a one millimeter of movement, at any kind of frequency, "frictions" me ferally, and not even baseball can slow the inevitable. Guess I like having her doing me. Conceptually speaking. Lol
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 30
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:27:51 PM

He said, well, some girls like it. So...I figured why the hell not. Yeah, um, didn't do a thing for me. Oh well....he didn't go wild or anything so I'm guessing didn't do much for him. LOL

The Hmmmmmm comes to mind,, it's sound like your guy just really isn't in to sex,, if he is,, he sure is lacking the interest, or enthusiasm.. all I know is this guy,, my lady riding me or doing anything is a complete turn, I'd have all I can do to hold my self back ,, even if she says,, you just lay there for a while,, I just want to jump right in,, hell figure out a way to do it on the ceiling if I could,,,
 2ofcup
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 34
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 6:42:30 PM
its a control issue..I'll lay (hehehe he said lay) you odds the guys who went limp, have some sort of issue with controlling sex, or other parts of their life.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 35
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Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:21:33 PM
I have not run into this and a lot of guys I've been with seem to prefer it. For one thing, they can relax and it leaves their hands free to put them all over you.

I'd talk about it with the individual guys in question.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 36
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:03:48 AM
also as one poster noted the squat position where the girl has her feet on the bed or whatever and raises and lowers her self onto him is great ..and has great visual effects for him as well ...and the reverse cowgirl for the same reasons

any way Kalie girl thank you for an education with your thread ...I never knew there were so many differences in things that did or did not do it for guys ... I guess Im just one of the lucky ones ... any position does it for me ..although I do have favorites but those to change from time to time ...I have never experienced an erection problem of any kind ( if im with a necked woman ..IM hard ...unless i have just cum and then that is only temporary ....

but one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had is by trying something with a woman (her Idea) ...her on top laying over on my chest squeezing me hard and neither of us were allowed to thrust ...the only movement allowed was the flexing of pubic mussels ... it took a long time for both of us to cum but when we did it was like we just melted together ... i guess part of it was the discipline factor ... at times we both wanted to trust but we would remind each other to be still

...I have also played the game of no touch the bits ... rules are you can touch lick bite nibble your partner anywhere but the genitals... this to is almost painful...but if your mind is in the right place you can cum without your genitals even being touched ...my point is In looking for your answer I would expect something mental rather than a blood flow problem ...but thats just my opinion ..I do know with me sex is 99% in the brain

another fun experiment is watch porn and dont allow your self to touch your bits ... strain to use your imagination put yourself mentally in the movie... i promise genital stimulation is not necessary to cum ...or for me it is not

...Im almost 53 and i can still almost cum from looking at the right woman ..even some with clothes on

or I can sit in a room full of necked women and talk to them about anything and never have a sexual thought ....after many years and many experiences I guess I have learned where the switches in my brain are ...and how to turn them on and off at will
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 37
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:47:43 AM

or I can sit in a room full of necked women and talk to them about anything and never have a sexual thought ....after many years and many experiences I guess I have learned where the switches in my brain are ...and how to turn them on and off at will

I tried that once when I was 17, only I was on a nude beach, I had to lay face down in the sand all day,
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 38
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 6:12:10 AM

I tried that once when I was 17, only I was on a nude beach, I had to lay face down in the sand all day,


it gets easier as you get older and find the switches ...I probably would have had problems on the nude beach when I was 17 ..but now nude beaches don't bother me unless one of the nude women flirt with me then the switches turn on auto
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 41
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:18:24 AM

The first time I was on top I was told I had trouble "movin to the groove", it's possible that's what could be wrong. If ya can't move to the groove, it's a lost cause.

In my opinion a woman on top is about her groove, her rhythm, her in control,, a woman has a way of telling me how she whats me to move to her groove, However, I have a way of adding my groove so that we are insync..In my opinion, the position of a woman on top, should be all about her, what ever she wants, it is her time to take control, If after riding awhile, I feel the urge to cum, I'll let her know if in a few seconds before I'm about to cum, so she can readjust so that doesn't happen, or she can keep going is she knows we are about to orgasm together,, all her choice...in the end if her riding experience is a great one, she will want to ride again,, of course that should go without saying...
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 42
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:29:05 AM

The first time I was on top I was told I had trouble "movin to the groove"

Then you were copulating with an ass. As the next post rightly points out, when you're on top, you're driving, and it's just wrong for the "passenger" to criticize your moves. He coulda learned something.



Still vote for the spin on the skin lol


FFO! Gives new purpose to the hanging (bottomless) basket. It ain't just for plants anymore.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 45
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 10:12:11 AM

I personally love the position myself and have never had a partner lose his erection in that position


Dayym, you even have the right hat for it! Spent fifteen years in Oklahoma and the hat still turns my head. Lol.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 49
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Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 2:54:44 PM

I have a somewhat odd question. I have discovered, in the past year, that I really like to be on top and can orgasm quite easily that way, most of the time.Some of them seem to really like it, and 1 came with me when I was on top.

But *some* of them have gotten soft when I've been on top, which to me probably means they don't like that position or it doesn't work for them? Or what?

This has happened for sure with 3 different guys now.

From this here I see that you do mention that you can reach the big O quite easily, but my question is how long does this usually take? With some guys if this takes too long they might go soft from this taking too long for you to get off. Like many of the other guys on here have said, I am a huge fan of the woman on top, I love watching her going up and down on me and admiring her beautiful body and all it's great parts, but if this process begins to take too long it can become, dare I say it, boring? And some may simply loose interest, if you are on top doing all the work and taking a while. Maybe try changing up the position while you are on top or other methods, but keeping him interested and into the moment is key. Better luck next time, and by the sounds of it you seem to not be exclusive so I sure hope you're using protection.
 johnschmidt
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 50
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 3:37:54 PM
I think that this is a very individual thing for the guy(s). It just depends what interferes (e.g., not being in control enough might upset some guys--and when guys are upset, you know what happens) and/or fails to give them enough stimulation to keep them hard.

I'd recommend discussing it with the man outside of the bedroom (and when sex is not immediately in prospect). Ask him if there's anything you can try to make your favorite position work better for him.

The other option would be (if he doesn't go soft immediately), do it your way for few mins, then switch to a position that will get him harder again; then go back to your position until he begins to lose it, then back to something that will get him hard, etc., etc.

Good luck. Don't give up on something that does it for you so well.
 CRAZY 4 DOGS
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 51
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 6:36:54 PM
Well you know what? I've been a little reluctant to post my 2c because I realized it was all posted on your profile...like it or not. But I don't seem to be getting much attention anyways so I'm just gonna join in the fun!
As for liking on top and having your guy go soft, I guess what I would think is he's not that into that position. Just like with everything we all have our preferences.
Try doggy...at the right angle you will get the g spot too. And as for reverse cowgirl... it's great for the ones who like the spanking!!!
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