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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Am I being led on?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 URLOVEY
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 2
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Am I being led on?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
She is grimey, leave her alone!
 MGaeta211
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 3
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Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:42:51 PM
Ahh, drop the weirdo. She isn't interested in you, why waste your time? Lots of fishies in the sea here.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 7
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Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:33:53 PM

We mutually decided to be friends.[/quodte]
We mutually decided to be friends.
uhm um.. "We mutually decided TO BE FRIENDS" Perhaps she thought you meant it???? Friends actually
she would buy me dinner if I gave her a ride to work tomorrow
do this type of thing for each other. Geesh.. sometimes a cigar is just a cigar..Phuck is EVERYBODY around here paranoid .. not EVERYBODY in the world has an alterior motive ya know. O_0

 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 10
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Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:56:44 PM

she has made it clear that she still has feelings for me.
I don't see anywhere in your posts how "she made it clear that she still has feelings for you." You have shown here that you still have them for her though. Give it up then if you don't think you both can keep it platonic.. Well since you've already told her that you Would be her "friend" do the right thing and let her know that you're not wanting or capable of just friendship with her and that you'd like to keep it to just the mutual sport that you both participate in. I think we all need a lesson in communication 101.

Geeze everyone's calling her every name in the book yet it was You that agreed to the friendship.. (Albeit you now realize it was a mistake).. that doesnt make her what everyone is labelling her.

[I think} I see a lot of latent jadedness and suspiciousness from people in this thread.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:34:47 PM
Look dude, it's your turn to play hard ball. And the reason is not even for her, or to get the chic, but so you can find your balls back. This chic is going to do this to you again and again. And that bull crap that you have so much in common, get over it. You are going to meet a ton of chic that you have a lot in common. You are going to meet chic that THEY will say you have so much in common. So it's not the end of the world.

So what do I mean about hard ball? Play hard to get. YOur emotions are as important as hers. See if she starts putting the moods on you, which it sounds like she is, take a step forward, and then two backwards. If she says that she feels something for you, tell her that you are not going to play that shit, about deciding between two people. May as well go back to the other guy. If she is going to be with you. It is be with you. If not, goodbye, let's just be friends and leave it at that.

Make her do the work and make it up to you. If it doesn't please you 100 percent. No go.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:36:30 PM

Family, christianity, Sports


Is two timing a guy very christian?
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 14
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Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:48:06 PM
From the Oposter:
I have never initiated a conversation. However, I am still polite and reply to her texts (which are almost daily). She has been the one making all the effort.
From outmind:
Make her do the work and make it up to you. If it doesn't please you 100 percent. No go.
Question: Just how many hoops should this girl jump through before it's deemed she's "worthy?"

OP: Find out if she's still with the other guy or not.. there seems to be some confusion about that.. Once you find out.. then you'll know the "Christian" way to handle it all.

Good luck and best
~ Wishes ~
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 10:10:33 PM

From outmind:
Make her do the work and make it up to you. If it doesn't please you 100 percent. No go.
Question: Just how many hoops should this girl jump through before it's deemed she's "worthy?"


Who cares. Come up with an arbitrary number. And even after that, if she doesn't quite give you the "feeling", dump her anyway. You miss the point. This is not about nice guy fairness. That went out the window a while back. She is already playing him big time.

So when are you worthy? Simple. When you damn feel she is. No less.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 16
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Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 10:23:45 PM

She is already playing him big time.
HE was in on the "we mutually agreed to be friends".. she is trying to be his friend... I wouldn't call her playing him at all.. I'd call it a lack of understanding on what the term "friend" means to both of them. She told him she took the other guys ultimatum and was with him.. they BOTH agreed to a platonic friendship. She's being totally honest (as far as we know).. how is that "playing him?"

So when are you worthy? Simple. When you damn feel she is. No less.
How ambiguous and then of course.. wouldn't he then be "playing" her? No wonder we all have such a hard time making things actually turn into something if men/women are thinking this way.
Op sounds like a stand up guy.. I'm thinking he'll be able to figure out what's best for all involved once he finds out if she's still with "Mr. Ultimatum"
I acutually think you got the best advice in post #2 that addresses your indicision. Even though I don't believe she is stringing you along if you both agreed to be friends...which, of course, you're entitled to change your mind about.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
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Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/15/2008 10:43:30 PM
If you are really interested in this girl, stay out of it until she is really single again and not living with him, etc. Don't drive her to work, or make plans behind this other guy's back, don't be her shoulder, etc., be upright and moral and stay away from her. If she's serious about you she'll move on and be free to date, if she's not, she'll tire of using you if you won't play the game. Keep in mind, she'll do to you what she's doing to him...is that really what you want in a woman?
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 19
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Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/16/2008 6:32:27 AM
You have nothing to lose by letting her buy you dinner.
You lose everything if you go into this (and anything else in life) with an all or nothing attitude.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 20
Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:12:52 PM
Judging by your screen name, perhaps they think you are an emoticon>??dancing pickle?

Plus, I'm sorry, but as fetishes go, "sculpture love" is not normal (but, bust love is!).
=======
OP--she prefers the other guy, find a woman who prefers you. I know that's easier said than done, but sticking around waiting for THIS one will cause more headaches than happiness.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 21
Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/18/2008 4:10:18 AM
She wants her cake and ice cream. I would not even entertain getting back into this situation. She "needs" things, so she will call you because you will do it. Don't. Just tell her to take a cab and buy herself dinner. I would not treat a guy this way. It sucks to feel used. Sorry.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 24
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Am I being led on?
Posted: 12/26/2008 1:15:02 PM
Sounds so high school to me.....

If you are friends, then be friends.....and if you want to be more, make sure that both of you are free and available to be more than friends.

OT........I would tell her that you enjoy her friendship, and would consider more down the road, but now is the time for her to get her life under control, straightened out, and allow you to do the same.

Then go date someone else, and let her know that you mean what you say, and say what you mean.

In the mean time, take two aspirins, and come back in a few years.....

Just my opinion......
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