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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > I find people judge too quickly online, but meeting in person      Home login  
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 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 2
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I find people judge too quickly online, but meeting in person Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Jay --I agree with you . It takes to connect with someone to know by being acquainted to him/her personaly.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 4
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I find people judge too quickly online, but meeting in person
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:08:13 PM
I do agree with you OP, in part, about judging quickly online.
I will admit I could have been guilty of doing this myself without actually knowing it most likely. Sometimes there's just not much someone is giving me to work with in the first place.

It's just a much different venue than in real life. And I know some people just don't come across as they really are sometimes in profiles /email/IM and it's difficult for them to write and get their meaning across and at times certain things can be misconstrude by one party or another. It's just the way it is. You begin communication here through the written word. And on a personal note, the flip side, I have had someone mistconstrue something I said in an IM transmission and have a kneejerk reaction to what I typed.

However....

I do agree with the following statement:


But.....where do we draw the line? If a picture and profile do not appeal, why do the rest?

Where DO we draw the line?
We have pictures and what the profiles contain (or not) to go by and if some of those do not appeal to us why not move on to the next?

I also agree with you that some, only want to hide out behind their monitors and not meet. Again, that's just how it is ...... online.
 temarie
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 10
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I find people judge too quickly online, but meeting in person
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:14:24 AM
I agree i would much rather meet for coffee , then giving out my phone number!
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 14
I find people judge too quickly online, but meeting in person
Posted: 12/17/2008 12:03:59 PM
^^^ Perfectly said. That is why I personally want to meet rather soon. All the back and forth e mails can come to a major hault when I meet the guy in person!! Some people are NOT who they say they are, old pictures and have major issues. And they are pretty noticeable within a few minutes. People can be whomever they want on here, but once you meet them, it is pretty appearent who they really are.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 15
I find people judge too quickly online, but meeting in person
Posted: 12/17/2008 12:45:00 PM
I have written some people off just based on their picture alone, as shallow as that appears. The truth is, there's just a certain look that turns me off completely. I can't explain it, but I CAN say that I've realized how shallow and quick to judge I was, and taken a chance and met with some of these guys...and nothing. It was just as I suspected it would be, there was just no chemistry at all when we were face to face. On either side (for the most part, although there WERE a few who put up a fight, which makes me want to just go back to sticking with my first impression).

I had to quote this again....this is my thought exactly.

I have several times in my life second guessed myself and tried to ignore my lack of attraction or my feeling that there would be no attraction to someone and met or dated them, only to find out that I was right in the first place.

What happened instead was I had a confused guy on my hands that wasn't sure why I talked to him in the first place if I wasn't interested...or thought I came out to meet him based on interest. No matter what guys say about wanting to be given a chance, it quickly turns into "being led on" or "used" or whatever when you give them a chance and realize you shouldn't have bothered.
 faramir
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 22
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I find people judge too quickly online, but meeting in person
Posted: 12/19/2008 10:49:34 AM
Your ' 7% rule is absolutely right- but just as you can get drawn in by a compelling novel or magazine article, you can get drawn in to 'virtual world' by someone who writes well, and creates an attractive image of themselves- recently happened to me- I wanted to get together fairly soon after contact, and she kept asking if we could stay at this level a little longer, her 'inner guidance' was telling her to do this, so eleven days, 25 emails, and several two hour phone calls later, as I was starting to feel very connected, , the day before we were supposed to meet- she tells me that her ' inner guidance' is suddenly telling her that we are not suited, several parallel references to ' the universe' intuitive hits'etc but no specifics, to do with me or her, and that was that. I know I should have insisted on meeting sooner, but she was very poignant in her requests for more time, and I just trusted her, when it turns out I shouldnt have, so i'm feeling like an idiot- so the lessons for me are; beware of content- free intuitive guidance, and a reluctance to meet in person after a reasonable amount of initial exploration
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