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 Irespire
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 1
I don't think much of people who do thisPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
"I won't date people who have been diagnosed with mental disorders"

I mean honestly, I see if someone doesn't want emotional baggage, but that's a totally different thing. Mental disorders are just labels assigned by some wackjob pseudo-doctor based often based on cursory judgments, so by just judging someone based on that, you're effectively ignoring the circumstances and reasons for why they (felt) the way they did. And not everyone has problems for 'life'. So, saying that one does not want to get involved with someone with 'baggage' is understandable (though, in my opinion, immature and weak minded), but people ought to have the guts to actually try to empathize with the person instead of casting instant judgments which may not even be acccurate.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 2
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 9:49:33 PM
I don't date people who get all huffy about those who aren't interesteded in them, it shows a big lack of a sense of well being in who they are and how well they deal with rejection and life in general. My choice, shouldn't bother anyone, who worries about people who don't want to be around them? Makes no sense.
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 3
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 9:50:17 PM

I won't date people who have been diagnosed with mental disorders"



Well then God forbid these people will ever become depressed because that is a mental disorder that will affect just about all of us at one time or another. I guess they will just understand when their husband/wife dumps them because they too will not be with someone who has a mental disorder.
 Irespire
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 4
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 9:51:53 PM
By the way, this isn't 'off topic', this is all about relationship issues.
 Hearttune
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 5
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 9:52:19 PM
If you don't have a mental disorder, it just hasn't been detected yet.
 Irespire
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 6
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 9:52:41 PM
You're missing the point, but a person would have a right to be annoyed because doing so is extremely judgmental, immature, and well, stupid.

Then again, that's the way of the world, so what the hell else can you expect, eh?
 NONWO
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 7
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:00:34 PM
In an insane society it's the sane people who are considered crazy.
 WhiteWaterRogue
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 8
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:05:40 PM
I guess what mental disorder you are talking about matters. Somebody diagnosed as NeoConservative would be off my list.
 forallintents
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 9
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:05:45 PM
The people who will not do something shouldn't matter because they won't be the ones you'll be doing it with. Unless what you want is for everyone to date you, or want to date you. There's enough people who would so why worry about anyone who would not?

By all means, don't think much of them. In fact, don't think of them at all.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 10
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:06:27 PM
I can empathize but that doesn't mean "date". I was involved with someone (maybe two) who had a mental disorder and will not go there again.
 Irespire
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 11
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:09:16 PM
It's not me, I just think said people are stupid.

And having a 'mental disorder' isn't a blanket thing, it's not even something you 'have'. RE: brooker's post; you ought to realize that anyone can have a fake 'disorder' (ie emotional problems) given the wrong circumstances, so you ought to look into the circumstances before judging, because well, its the right thing to do.

I mean, some people are over it, some people may not really even have problems, you never know, it's just an arbitrary label often.
 pinkprincess10
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 12
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:11:57 PM
hi!
for starters...can i just tell you people that i have been diagnosed and i have type 1 bi-polar disorder!
everyone is entitled to their opinions but..... most people with my disorder never relapse as long as you take your medicine! if i walked up to someone on the street and got to know them for weeks, you would never be able to tell that i am bi-polar for the simple fact that i take my medicine regularly! every day just as my dr. has told me to! not everyone with a mental problem is a hassle and/or burden! i am a single mother of 4 wonderful kids and i live a completely normal life! or whatever normal may be! lol i used to think shopping and spending hundreds of thousands of dollars was "normal" until i was diagnosed and given some meds....and whoa...thats not cool! i still have my moments...but hey, who dont! we are all human on the inside and everybody has their faults! im not criticizing(sp) anyone on this website by any means, and some ppl just cant handle dating someone like this or that! but if you ever met me you would never know that i had this disorder...until i told you! many of my friends think that the me that i am today is perfect and a joy to be around...compared to who i was! and i do know ppl who dont take their meds for fear of being hooked...and i see her fall all the time...figuitivly speaking!
if you know someone who has a mental disorder...give them a chance...we are usually the funnest ppl to hang around with! and your right...we are a crazy bunch...but in a good way!
take care and thanks for reading!
Kris
 wirewelder
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 13
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:12:01 PM
hey, there are a ton of people out there that havent been diagnosed. Now adays there is a diagnosis for everything. When I was a kid and you wanted to sit on the couch all day you were lazy, now you have depression! What are you gonna do not date anyone, or just find someone with mild sy,ptoms you can live with?
 pinkprincess10
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 14
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:15:02 PM
i agree to the last message...everything these days is over diagnosed...i searched for help on my own like a responsible person would...
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 15
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:27:12 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^...............................................

I think there's a big difference between "getting the blues" every now and then.. and being clinically depressed or being diagnosed as having manic depression.

You can get over the blues.. but you don't get over being clinically depressed/manic depression. The same types of medication may be used for all three.. however.. the latter two will need to remain on the medication.. more thatn likely forever.

The blues.. also aren't considered a mental disorder.. it's actually considered to be "normal".

I.. too.. would not date someone with a mental disorder. Too many times there is the problem with thinking that the medication is a cure.. when it's definitely not. Then there's dealing with someone that refuses to take their medication.. and they don't realize they've reverted to a state that can only be dealt with by a professional.
 PassTheMuster
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 16
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:40:51 PM

people know what their limits are
and they should be respected for that


Qrah, very nicely stated and I agree completely.

OP, everybody has their preferences in the type of person they want to date. It’s not shallow or judgmental, it is each individual’s right.

Just like you have your preferences:


she should be at least reasonably attractive, and not uptight like a bookworm at all.


You have something against bookworms?


i also dont mind if a woman is slightly chubby, just not overweight.


And you wouldn’t want to date an overweight woman?

See my point?
 arizonabeth
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 17
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:57:27 PM
I have no tolerance for people who blame thier failed relationships on the other person's mental illness---even if that was a major challenge in the relationship. There is always a dynamic, people who are supportive and good for each other , people who are not, and not everyone is equipped to deal with mental illness. However, many, many people with mental illness and emotional disorders have successful lives and relationships, especially when they aren't being abused or put down because of the thier emotional problems. SO, I agree with you, OP, and I don't have a tolerance for people who are judgemental of mental illness and don't acknowledge their own behaviors, because the other person is "flawed".

Just today, I had a person chat with me and say his exwife was bipolar, as if that absolved him of all responsibity, then got defensive and angry when I pressed for details, because I know lots of bipolar people in good marriages. He just got angry that I didn't accept the mental disorder at face value. I told him there are other ways to give a simple explanation for a failed relationship, even if bipolar was one of the challenges, there is always more to the story. She was probably truly better off without him, if that was his attitude. I just have no desire to hang with people like that.
 lilbee_71
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 18
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:59:06 PM
Irespire...is it "smart" to call people who are "allowed" to disagree with you by the name "stupid". I have done it before, but not when trying to make a legitimate point about something as serious as mental illness.

I was married to a paranoid person (has a family history of bipolar disorder) who thought everyone was out to get him, no sh*t, very true. I stuck it out (and I mean stuck in the worst sense of the word) for 12 years and finally enough was enough, I learned a valuable lesson.

While I don't judge, I can certainly empathize with people with a mental illness. But, that does not mean I want to be with someone with those types of issues again either.

If you don't want to be involved with someone who has a mental illness or mental "disorder" then why, would 'looking into the circumstances", change someones mind. If anything finding out "more information", will likely raise up even more red flags.

You have much to learn young man, and "arbitrary labels" and psuedo babble aside...mental illness is a serious issue and one should never make light of it.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 19
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:03:05 PM

"I won't date people who have been diagnosed with mental disorders"

.........Mental disorders are just labels assigned by some wackjob pseudo-doctor



I just thought it was funny the OP passed judgement on doctors yet suggest we shouldn't pass judgement on those who may need doctors.
*confused*

Well, OP, if you think about it, how would that person know there is a mental disorder, or not?

The thread topic sounds mental (and hypocritical) to me
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 20
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:03:16 PM
I like the thread. The thread I just came from reminded me of a tragic mental disorder:

Being born human.
 arizonabeth
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 21
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:04:38 PM
I guess I should add that I hang with people who have emotional disorders all day for my work, so I just know I'm not going to have a lot in common with people who make generalization about mental illness, so I woudn't date them. But I respect that they admit that they feel they are too intolerant to accept someone with a disorder. I'd rather know up front that they are going to bail when the going gets tough and their partner needs help and support.
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 22
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:11:56 PM

I guess I should add that I hang with people who have emotional disorders all day for my work, so I just know I'm not going to have a lot in common with people who make generalization about mental illness, so I woudn't date them


So how do you like the site? I sort of "hang" with a few of the same type.
 Irespire
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 23
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 12:04:01 AM
I'd argue that the 'blues' is considered a mental disorder due to the extreme overdiagnosis of depression...and pretty much everything.

You can get over clinical depression, it just takes really long time.
 Irespire
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 24
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 12:05:32 AM
Because labeling people with made-up labels to represent emotional conditions is not quackery?

You sound stupid to me.
 north_face
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 25
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 12:15:25 AM
If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different...I'd rather be completely ****ing mental.
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