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Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 1
Dead End TextingPage 1 of 1    
help me out on this one guys..........

i have 2 men, in particular, that i am interested in right now. both of them will text me all day and all night long. they are even willing to meet me for a quick drink, etc & we have done so.

however, they absolutely will not answer their phone, if i call. and they seem to only call me when they know it will go to voicemail-they will leave a message. but,what gives?

don't get me wrong, i do enjoy the text flirting. but, i just think that there could be so much more potential. it seems as though we have some things in common and meeting is fun-not akward or uncomfortable by any means.

am i being played? do you think they're not single? is this the new version of speed dating? is this how guys encorporate their love of women and electronic gadgets into one? I NEED THE INSIDE SCOOP HERE-WHY WON'T THEY ANSWER THEIR PHONES TO TALK?

i have tried to convey some seriousness to them and in return i get very brotherly, humorous, and comforting reassurances from them telling me not to worry about it and to not to take it personally.

give it to me straight. do i let these two go? do i stop thinking so much and just enjoy it for what it is?
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 2
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:38:12 PM
Maybe not some people communicate by text these days. I for one hate talking on the phone but love doing so in person. If it bothers you though bring it up to them.
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 3
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:57:47 PM
There are various reason they might not answer, playing computer game, out of credit, driving, lots of guys don't really enjoy talking on the phone all... might be at work, sometimes I leave my phone at home just coz I can. Might be playing sport. Its quite a girly thing I think to constantly have your phone by you! Often I'm listening to loud music and won't hear the phone.

If a girl I fancied called me thats different though I would most likely call her back pretty soon! Which makes me wonder why they didn't you're right to be suspicious.. maybe they are just interested in spending time in your presence but can't really get interested by your voice alone! So many reasons... they should just tell you themselves !
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 4
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:59:14 PM
I had this discussion with my brothers on Christmas day. We planned the entire holiday with four of us completely via text they would not answer if I called or agree to a conference with the 4 of us so we could make all arrangements. They dont like calls at all and as I was told by my younger brother he can just as easily text from the crapper and he doesnt need to worry about what to say. Now imagine this is a male family memeber he has no reason to not want to talk other then he doesnt like the phone

So dont make assumptions that they arent single just because they text instead of calling, texting allows people to concentrate on what they say Immediate interaction isnt required you can say things without the inflection in your voice being heard and analyzed.

Questions to ask is what cellular service do they have, do they have a large number of minutes for talk. the reason for these are many people are moving toward unlimited texting because it is cheaper then a higher minute plan. If you arent on the same network the cost of calling can be extreme if the person your speaking with is chatty.

Plus texting allows you to multitask

It isnt always a bad thing ...
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 5
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:01:36 PM
Maybe I haven't adjusted to the texting world yet, but I find it rude. I mean, you're holding a phone in your friggin hand, so use it. That's how I look at it, at least.

If it seriously leaves you questioning the sincerity of these guys, why bother entertaining them? Tell them that you prefer not to text. Tell them that you prefer talking in person or on the phone. Tell them if that's too much for them to handle, good luck on your search for the online playmate.

The ball's in your court, really. It's what you're going to put up with or not.
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 6
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:15:44 PM
Texting lololol. Totally agree with thunder. I turn it off on my phone. The time it takes to look at the text can be better spend saying I miss you, I love you, How is your day going, Can't wait to see you etc etc.
Happy New Year,
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 7
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:31:21 PM
I don't like texting, either. I'm slow at it. People often don't use punctuation, so the meaning can be ambiguous. I prefer a BRIEF phone chat, so each person can have his/her say and be done with it (I detest chit-chat), but it allows for clarification should one person not understand what the other means. I believe it to be more effective. I also believe it to be more expensive for those cheapos who think 45 cents is too high a price to pay to actually speak on the phone.
Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 8
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:37:05 PM
Maybe they just feel uncomfortable talking on the phone. I know people myself who don't like phone conversations but prefer face to face chat.
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 9
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:40:21 PM
Even if guys don't like talking on the phone, if a guy likes a girl and is interested, he's going to pick up the phone!

I like texting, I don't like talking on the phone much, but if a girl calls me and I like her, I'm going to pick up the phone. That's just silly to not pick up the phone when you have a good looking nice sweet girl calling you. He's not your brother, he's a guy you are trying to date.

My only thoughts can be that he has someone else or isn't that into you. If he was into you then he would pick up the phone and he wouldn't play games. Especially the old game of calling a girl when you know she can't talk and the voice mail is likely to pickup because you are at work or something, just so you can say you called.
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 10
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Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:54:54 PM
I would tell them, "if you want to talk to me, pick up the phone." It's like when you call someone when you know they won't be home, because you need to tell them something but don't really want to talk to them. I'm afraid I think they're not really into you. Next!
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 11
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 4:59:52 PM
actually, when it comes to cel phone charges...i'm the one who's being cheap..kinda.

i have lots of minutes to talk, most for free. but, i only get 200 text messages a month. u would think that would be plenty. ha! they can burn thru 200 in a weekend!

thanks for the reminder. i guess i need to go up my text plan now.

i guess that pretty much says my answer. i'll ride it out.... but not get my hopes up.
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 12
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Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:02:12 PM
I think it has alot to do with their ages. In my opinion, a guy who is serious about you will come in some kind of actual contact rather than text all the time. Those guys that text most if not all the time is usually keeping their girls organized.
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 13
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:00:48 PM
"Those guys that text most if not all the time is usually keeping their girls organized."

I'm with charliebianco and the other guys on this one. Someone that likes you will take the time to talk with you even if they don't like talking on the phone. Anyone that will only text should scream "beware" to you.
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 14
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:05:08 PM
charlie: wise for so young. these guys are older than you are. haha! i tend to believe your theory on trying to keep their girls organized. we have actually met face to face a couple times though. i still don't know how they do it. even with 2 guys, i've caught myself almost replying to the wrong person. oops!!
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 15
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:09:44 PM
honey they are playing you like a banjo. wo'nt answer because the other girl is in the room. hell i'm even surprised that you got a phone number. time to board the love train again. ALL ABOARD! toot toot.
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 16
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Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:15:08 PM
Why is nobody answering the question? She asked, "What's the scoop and is she being played?"
Granted there's no way to know for sure, but the chances are "yes" you are. It takes a heck of a lot more time to text than it does to dial a number. There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever to never ever answer your phone when someone calls; unless you just plain ol' just don't want to talk to them. If they're flirting as much as you say they are, then why not answer? Try calling them right after they send you a text, and if they don't answer, you're getting played like a piano in an orchestra.
The main reason some guys don't answer their phones, is because they're busy: at work, driving, sleeping or something like that, but if it's not that time of the day, then I would be very suspicious and suspect that there is someone else. That's the beauty of texting, you can do it while you're with someone else; just say "excuse me" and text, without the person you're with knowing what's going on. A phone conversation is almost impossible in the same situation.
It's so difficult to get to know someone over email or the phone, it's almost impossible to do so by text; you can't hear and detect the tone in someone's voice or tell when they're joking etc.

It's up to you what you do, but in my opinion, there's an 80% chance that you're being played like a violin in this string quartet.

Good luck,

Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 17
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Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:54:55 PM
Ahhh..bug and kim

I tell you guys this much, I know this...yes, I am wise (heheheh) but also because I DID IT. This stuff is yester-year to's how I used to keep in constant communication, but texting allows for you to logically think out what you want and don't want to say, there is no "face-to-face tells". You can't give away the shake in your throat from a lie or your looking away when you can literally do whatever you want with zero chance of getting caught short of something crazy happening.

If a guy only texts the whole time, you're not the only one. Period.

Me, personally, I work for AT&T Mobility, so I might be one of the few exceptions...I work through texts about 95% of the time, and because i'm constantly busy it's the best way to reach me...i've become so accustomed to it.
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 18
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:58:19 PM
The only times I wouldn't answer my phone is while I'm at work, and/or if I'm out of my local calling area and don't feel like running up a lot of long distance minutes. Text flirting is fun, but there is a time and place for everything
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 19
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:18:58 PM
I"m not sure, but I do think that they are busy with something. I'm one to text a lot. I don't usually have the time to at work, but texts let me chat through the day and not have to worry too much while i'm at work. After work is different though. I do a bit of texting after work , but I'm willing to talk on the phone. It is easier sometimes to text, others to call. Me personally I think they are either busy with someone else, trying to keep everyone straight, and can't figure it out from the phone contact name that pops up when ya call. Just my $.02
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 20
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:32:23 PM
Lostgirl may have it figured out, I would assume that they can easily send you a text from the crapper and then they don't have to worry about having a long conversation, that is if they don't know how to end the call. Maybe they just aren't very good at articulating the words in their head when speaking, and find it easier to write it out read it back to be sure it is what they want to say.
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 21
Dead End Texting
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:35:40 PM
"they absolutely will not answer their phone, if i call. and they seem to only call me when they know it will go to voicemail-they will leave a message. but,what gives? "

This is what makes me believe they are playing you. Sure, some people text a lot - I do. Like you charlie, I'm not allowed to make personal calls at work, BUT I still stand by the belief that if a man is interested in you he will find some talk to you on the phone.
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