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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "men outnumber women on dating sites" Fact? or Myth?      Home login  
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 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 1
"men outnumber women on dating sites" Fact? or Myth?Page 1 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Apologies if this is termed a "redundant topic", but I did do searches and didn't find much of anything asking what I'm going to ask.

I look at the very long topic of where men claim women have it made in online dating or even in dating in general, and the back and forth agreement/disagreement it became. In the arguments I've seen on other venues, the typical words come out about how men outnumber women on dating sites, some claiming ratios of 5 to 1 or even 20 to 1 of men to women on these sites.

So my two questions for discussion:

1) Do you believe more men join dating sites than women? Or do you think the numbers are more even?

2) If you think more men join dating sites than women, then why do you think more women are reluctant to use or against using a dating site as opposed to men?


Be nice. I really don't care who you think has the "advantage". Just keep to what you think is the "why". I'd also love to hear from both genders on this.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 2
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/29/2008 8:36:15 PM
This often depends on various factors such as geography and age. In my geographical area and age group, men outnumber women by about 2.5 to 1 ratio.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 3
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/29/2008 8:50:59 PM

I think that 20:1 ratio represents the number of fat, bald, short, old, and broke men who want thin, long haired, tall, young, and rich women. Otherwise, I think it is an even number of men to women. He can't get that ONE out of 20 he wants. It's not like there aren't 19 other women, he is more evenly matched with for a date. He wants a low cost supermodel, where the odds of that happening are dream on in any fora. I wouldn't mind Brad Pitt, myself. I try to be a little more realistic so that way I am not disappointed when he still doesn't email me.


I do believe that there are no less than ten guys to every woman on these sites. The reason is very simple. Nearly every woman on these sites says she wants a tall, intelligent, financially stable, etc etc and so on guy. Now if the ratio was anything close to equal the online dating experience I've had should be considerably different even if most of those women were lying about what they wanted or just didn't realize they say one thing and did another.

Online dating isn't much different than the dating experience in engineering school. There simply aren't enough women to go around and once the truly scary ones are removed consideration the numbers are so bad that the lotto looks like it has better odds.
 Sensitive P. Ness
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 4
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/29/2008 9:52:47 PM
Whether or not men outnumber women on dating websites, I don't know.

But even if women outnumbered the men, would it be more likely that I'd be interested in the women whom are interested in me??

Not so much.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 5
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/29/2008 10:04:37 PM
I`ve done searches in my area over a period of time maybe a few years just to check my competition.
The searches were in my age range on several sites. The men outnumber the women roughly 2 to 1 overall the sites (3)
On some sites its closer to being even.
I`ve glazed alot of the guys profiles, most appear to be presentable enough statistics wise. I cant say how attractive they are but I`m not noticing a large number of short fat bald and broke.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 6
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/29/2008 10:25:46 PM

OP
Did you know that women outnumber men in *real life*?At least in Canadian stats. And it's going to get more skewed as more female babies are being conceived than males. It has something to do with more fake estrogen being introduced into our environment.

Oh I do know that. I wanted to mention it too, but when I looked it up the population ratio came out to me 1.06 women for every man. I guess that didn't seem like a big "outnumbering".

I guess I figure if there are a vast number of single males there must also be a vast number of single females, yet it seems from what I see and hear many of those females aren't on these sites as much as the men are.

I'm in agreement with the opinions that many tend to think the ratio is skewed because they don't "count" the members of the opposite sex they don't find attractive, so some see it as there's 20 guys to every "hot" woman in the sites.

I also think that the amount of people who simply do not want to date or get involved in anything also need to be accounted for.

Finally...I wonder also if the amount of people cheating on someone also thus raises the population of one gender on the sites over the other.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 7
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/30/2008 8:59:44 AM
...the population ratio came out to me 1.06 women for every man.

Just so you know:
1) In the field of study about which you're talking, it's called the "sex ratio".
2) The convention is that it's given as the ratio of the number of boys to the number of girls, not the other way around.

It's been known since 1662 that more boys than girls are born, so the number is almost always greater than 1 until you get up to age ranges where the fact that males die more and earlier starts to have an effect. About a dozen factors have been identified which affect the sex ratio.

I don't know anything in particular about Canada, but I'd be extremely skeptical about any ratio down in the 0.94 range like the one mentioned. In the US, the sex ratio at birth has been dropping since about 1970 but is still well above one (1.046).

Any reported ratio which is very far from 1.0, such as "20 to 1", is likely to be an exaggeration, or may only apply to a very narrowly defined sub-population. As alluded to above, it's obvious that it doesn't matter if the ratio is 100:1 in your favor if none of those 100 are considered dateable.
 Sensitive P. Ness
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 8
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/30/2008 5:23:04 PM
With an unofficial state motto that says, "Incest is Best!"
Arkansas isn't a good sample pool.

Kentucky is out too!

Most ethical Arkansans relocate to Kentucky.

And Everyone in Kentucky knows that you don't marry a virgin.

Why?

Because, "if she ain't good enough for her own family........she ain't good enough for anyone else's!"

I'd suspect that, if men DO outnumber women on here?

It's because married men are re-casting their poles in the pond!
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 9
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/30/2008 5:36:10 PM
OK...to all the people who believe men outnumber women on these sites, I still want to know why you think that is?

Is it that there are more married men on these sites cheating? Or something that keeps single women from trying?

I'm not just wanting to know if men outnumber women on dating sites, but also the WHY.
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 10
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/30/2008 7:25:09 PM

Ned's kind of a neuter guy.


I heart Ned!!!
 dave732
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 11
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/30/2008 8:28:26 PM
its not a matter of ratios. men out number women on these places many times to one but it really doesnt matter. the fact is that a great number of the men are so dysfunctonial that all they are is a number. there are plenty of nice women here but being an angry over weight drunk doesnt attract anyone. well maybe in maine
 dave732
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 12
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/30/2008 8:33:39 PM
ya and seventy five percent of divorces end up in marrage. funny thing is married guys especially ones on a second or third wife can spot all the mistakes women make looking for men, and it all comes back to women not wanting to accept the true nature of men. look at the profiles, if the guy you describe that you want actually showed up you would be bored to death. remember ladies all men are dogs, from the white house to the board room to the mail room, but like dogs they are loyal and always come home to their master.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 13
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/30/2008 9:21:25 PM

It's been known since 1662 that more boys than girls are born, so the number is almost always greater than 1 until you get up to age ranges where the fact that males die more and earlier starts to have an effect.

Although before more modern times a good number of those male children died in childhood. As I recall this resulted in fewer men than women.

re: tyedyedsoul, msg 29

There's the biggest one:
---- There's no women on the interweb.

just borrowing a phrase, but I've been using the internet since bitnet was still bigger. The number of men has always outnumbered women greatly and likely still does.


There are a lot of women in the forums alone, whom have had numerous run-ins with married men.
Does this not occur everywhere, not only in online dating? Also if women are choosing the married men in large number they would also be rejecting single men and thus amplify the effect.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 14
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/30/2008 10:15:58 PM
The men to women ratio in my area is about 2.5 to 1.

Besides what's already been mentioned, possible reasons why more men on dating sites are
- dating sites have developed a reputation as the place to go for casual encounters and men are more open to that then women. I believe this to be the main reason.
- more men are socially retarded and/or have personality defects and are unable to meet women any other way. Actually, this could apply to either gender but I think more so to men. We always read in the news about online predators and they're typically male.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 15
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/31/2008 9:50:16 AM
radiusman, as I stated in my first post in this topic, I said to BE NICE.

We're not here discussing who has the "advantage" or whether or not men or women are shallow, but first determining if the statement "men outnumber women on dating sites" is truth or myth, and then discussing WHY it seems more men join dating sites than women.

It's pointless to get into the "shallow" argument. Frankly, if women outnumbered men 10:1 on this site, I think all the relationship-minded men would be just as selective.

If you want to discuss "shallow" or "advantage" then there's a 97-page topic on this very forum to play in.
 Sky at sunset
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 16
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/31/2008 7:55:28 PM
There are so many ways to look at this. For example, is the ratio consistent over age groups? How many men and how many women are "lurkers" but never contact any one? Why are most of the people on the forums women? I think it is a good way to meet people and see if their values match.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 17
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/31/2008 10:33:17 PM

Completely the opposite. I think if you do a thread search here, you'll see alot of topics about how women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to online dating. ..same goes for men...I know overweight hefty guys and personality-wise, crappy as well, that want some young hot women for some reason.


That may be true, but those same guys are unlikely to pass up countless other women in hopes that someone like that would come along. As the rest of your post discusses I have simply yet come across a guy, any guy, who could match the requirements that all too many women have. Is there a guy out there that would reject a woman for being a cup size too big or too small? Or being just outside some arbitrary age range? I've never run across a guy like that, but I've run across women that refused to talk to me because I was inch too tall or a couple weeks too old.

I've encountered such trivial requirements that I know the only guys these women could date are guys who are lying to them and telling them exactly what they want to hear.
 honda2004
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 19
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/2/2009 1:24:56 PM
To MSG 2, my are we a GOLDDIGGER?
 Jackjack07
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 20
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/2/2009 11:18:39 PM
In my bar hopping days, (and still, to this day), I've never been in a bar where the women outnumbered men. Even on Ladies' night.

Same goes for all the internet dating sites.

Around here, the female population is slightly greater then males. But if you search for the number of woman looking as opposed to number of guys looking in a particular area, guess what?

What makes me wonder is where are the approximately 50% of the female population that are not NOT on the internet dating sites? What are they doing? Where are they hiding?

Or do a lot of guys have multiple profiles?
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 21
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:34:14 AM
" In case you're interested - I didn't count myself as a man."

Roflmao!
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 22
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:56:49 PM
So in many ways, the guys claiming how men outnumber women on the dating sites are really saying that there aren't enough "hot" women on the dating sites in comparison to men of all physical "standards".

Basically they're deciding to not count all the "unattractive" women and thus complain that women have it easy.

The search results many post even more tell me the statement "men outnumber women on dating sites" is purely myth, but too many are searching for a "hot" when maybe most of the results aren't seen as "hot" by said males or females.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 23
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:35:53 PM

All the guys they’re dating presumably matched those women’s
requirements for a potential BF.

Guys who look the part lie to get their foot in the door. She'll find out later he doesn't.

Not for being a cup size too big, but the other 2 options, yes there are plenty.

Very few guys even have that luxury.

I've never been in a bar where the women outnumbered men. Even on Ladies' night.

Same here. Eliminating women who showed up with a guy (and the guy) the ratio gets even worse.

I personally hate meeting women in social gatherings because it's really hard to say anything that doesn't sound like a pickup line. Breaking the ice is easier on here

In person I always need something to start on conversation on otherwise it just sounds like a stupid pickup line. Online if a woman has written a half-way decent profile there's a good chance I can write something based on it. Then again considering my success rate maybe I should use pickup lines instead ;)

Most guys are lucky to get even 2-3 responses/week

Not in an earth week ;)

So in many ways, the guys claiming how men outnumber women on the dating sites are really saying that there aren't enough "hot" women on the dating sites in comparison to men of all physical "standards".
Basically they're deciding to not count all the "unattractive" women and thus complain that women have it easy.

Entirely false. There have been dating websites where the men have to pay to play and the women get free accounts. Bars will waive cover charges for women. etc and so on. That's because in any situation where single people are likely to meet men will out number women by a good margin. Layer in technology like the internet and men will out number women by huge margins.
Now as to your remark about not counting the unattractive women. I went to college where the school was almost entirely engineering. What was left after that was mostly architecture and computer science. A good year was 8 guys to every girl. Guys used to complain about the ratio and how the women were mostly unattractive and didn't even try to be. Guess what? Every girl who wanted a boyfriend got one.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 24
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/6/2009 5:12:06 PM
So then that poses the question if the men are out at singles nights, speed dating, dating sites, etc...they're all out on the hunt...

...where are the women? Are they all scared to try to find men? Or playing the "I don't need/want a man" song and dance?

If there is supposedly a near equal ratio of single unattached men to single unattached females, then where are all these females? Are they really then trying or making any kind of effort to meet men? (the women who want a man...even if they claim they don't)
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 25
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/7/2009 1:37:25 PM
Total myth, according to the site moderators. It's not even a ratio of 2:1. It's something like, 1.6 men for every 1.2 women. Seriously, statistically not even significant.


As I stated earlier this depends on various factors such as geography and age. On POF for my geographical area and age group, men outnumber women by about 2.5 to 1 ratio. This ratio tends to become even for people over 40.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 26
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men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:42:22 PM

> In person I always need something to start on conversation on otherwise it just
> sounds like a stupid pickup line. Online if a woman has written a half-way decent profile
> there's a good chance I can write something based on it. Then again considering my
> success rate maybe I should use pickup lines instead ;)

That's because women defined what a "pick up line" is and have done themselves a disservice by discounting a single man that approaches herin public. Anyhow, the "pick-up line" would probably work if he made 6 figures.


The changes in what is considered acceptable behavior were aimed at reducing what was really always bad behavior. American society loves to set very low thresholds for poor or illegal behavior and then decide on a case by case basis who is to be held to the letter of the law and who isn't. Your example of a guy who makes 6 figures is an example of who isn't held to the restrictions or has a much higher threshold before he becomes 'bad'. I think the threshold for me is somewhere between eye contact and just before saying 'hi'. :)


Total myth, according to the site moderators. It's not even a ratio of 2:1. It's something like, 1.6 men for every 1.2 women. Seriously, statistically not even significant.
Site moderators have a vested interest in creating an illusion that there is a decent ratio. It's difficult on a more popular site such as this one to get an idea of ratio, but for it to be under 2 to 1 here this site would have to have some how broken through some sort of barrier that other smaller ones don't. Ones small enough that it's easier to get a handle on the ratio.

If there were really that many women in the online dating world dating websites wouldn't have to resort to bots and other forms of fake female profiles. The free sites like this one don't do that but pay for sites do to keep or get guys to sign up for a paying membership. Even giant pay for sites have had instances where they caught doing that.
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