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Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 5
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Just Not Caring...Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Wow..hi there. How long have you been feeling this way? Can you see good in people or just the negative? Sometimes its a phase, everything is a choice so you can choose to change those thoughts and replace them with more positive ones if you choose to do so. If not, you might become so detached that noone will want to be around you either. Sometimes we attract in the world what we project out there. Its up to us to recognize that and change it if we choose to. Good Luck!!!!
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 12
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Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 5:49:23 AM
I can certainly understand the hermit mentality, I have some of that myself. I don't think it's really a problem, it's just a natural tendency for more introverted people. I think if you find the right woman for you then you'll naturally attach. *sabre* mentioned Buddhism, you might actually want to look into the philosophy side of that.
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 13
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Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:24:41 AM
Huggie, I know just what you're going through. Recent divorce for me has apparently also divorced me from some of my feelings, LOL. This (avoidance) is a fairly normal reaction to stress. That you recognize it is a good sign. Try to keep your social contacts going - hang out with your friends, ride your bike, etc.

Hope is not yet lost, my friend!
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 16
Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:35:08 AM
Oh, Mr. Huggie Bear, you have grown up. :(

Throughout the centuries, philosophers have explored the reality of impermanence. As you stated, NOTHING lasts forever--and the natural cycle of life is that living things die and are replaced. Buddha said (and I grossly paraphrase) that we need to detach ourselves from the material because it is so impermanent and, ultimately, unimportant. I have about 100 pairs of shoes in my closet, but in the face of eternity and my own death (whether there is an afterlife or not), what good do those shoes do me?

I have gone through periods of my life where nothing seemed worth the effort of doing; in fact, I questioned whether life was worth living. As a friend's mother once explained her ennui, "I would be turning a hamburger patty in a skillet and think, why am I doing this? What does it matter?" But she turned the patty and kept on with her life, seeking meaning as do I and as do you.

The petty conceits of others becomes almost unbearable. The "blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda," of those seemingly unaware if how little their pitiful lives matter is annoying.

I still understand the impermanence; I know that I am so small, my existence doesn't matter. I know that this, too, will pass, and that is for the small inconvenient matters of everyday life, and it also means that in 5 billion years, this planet will be burned to a crisp when the sun becomes a red giant. I understand that there is a cycle on this earth: everything living, dies, and while life feeds on death, death eats life. The meaning of life is truly to procreate and continue the species; humans have created the greater meanings that so many take for granted in religion.

So, why continue? Why care? Because I live in this body that feels physical pain; my consciousness abides in the crevices of my brain, and if I don't have a soul/spirit that lasts beyond the body, it doesn't matter so much. Why care? Because I am human and I love other humans; I am rather reclusive at times, but I cannot divest myself of my need to associate with others, to love some of them, and to like many others.

Why care? Because there is joy in small things: the singing of a windchime, the offering of a clover bloom by a small girl, a baby's laugh, my cat attacking my ankles, a meal shared with friends, a summer evening, a winter night, sex.

When I came out of one of the worst periods of life, I immersed myself in nature, not people; it taught me that no matter how many centuries humans have striven to put themselves above the natural world and to break its cycles, we haven't come close. We are integrally connected to the world around us. It is impermanent, but we can choose to enjoy and treasure people and "things" because of their impermanence, or we can wallow in a suspended state of waiting for the end to come.

And so, I will keep buying shoes. I will continue to catch mice in my kitchen in a live trap so I can release them. I know that killing a mouse in a trap has no effect on the universe, but for me and the mouse, it means something.

I won't wish you "good luck" because there is no luck, but concentrate on the small things in order to understand the big things.


(Or explore Buddhism. Buddhism is not for me because I like my things, but you might find it helpful. I am pagan.)
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 20
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Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:32:26 AM
Sounds like depression to me...
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 21
Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:42:43 AM
YEAH YEAH and ..........

The first cute girl the OP sees ........... all his (just don't want to be bothered) babble will go right out the window.
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 22
Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:48:50 AM
Hey, OP, I'm resonating like at 6 Ghz with your comments. I have a few thoughts for you:

1. Don't worry about feeling detached. Given these tough times it may be a wise attitude.
2. If you don't attach yourself to material things you are actually halfway there to what Jesus (at a minimum) preached.
3. As far as attachments to people, personally, I insist on quality. Part of that is not hangin' with friends as often as I hear others do.

As for being a hermit, pretty difficult to do, but go for it if it helps you develop. Remember, however, that the moment you feel "caring" to anything, you have formed a bond that is difficult to break. There is a rather large distinction between isolation and creating an environment of freedom.

If you do decide to choose a life of a hermit, I can suggest a few ideas--but only if you're willing to learn and develop your survivalist skills.
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 33
Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 5:10:17 PM
^^^^^ To me, a more appropriate saying would have been, "...and the clutches of Greed will have released and forever freed mankind from slavery." But I ain't John of Patmos.

What did ye olde prophet Ezekiel say about material possessions and wealth? As I recall Eze said, and I paraphrase, "Blessed be he who doesn't collect interest on a loan."

I better stop while I'm ahead, or I'll have to turn in my skeptical scientist membership card.
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 34
Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:54:00 PM
My friend you are normal as normal can be. Its that we walk through life thinking of what we have been taught . And finding a lady settling down getting married and having our 2.5 kids. And going on through life. Well life it seems became more complicated over the years.This isn't Leave it to Beaver,Father knows best. Not even The Brady Bunch.Its more like Sanford and Son.Take out of life what you want. Make it something you can be proud of.And for the utmost reward be what you consider normal.Normal for some isn't the same for others.Be yourself.Do your best to be happy. And don't expect someone else to make you happy.Only you can make yourself truly happy.And if you feel something is wrong by all means do your best to change it. But for all be aware of other's feelings. And don't let anyone tell you to be something you're not.....T
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 35
Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:48:18 PM
Sounds like clinical depression. Check the symptoms on WebMD or the like. My advice, get some sunshine and some exercise and re-evaluate.
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 36
Just Not Caring...
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:25:53 PM
Oh Lord.
I too must be clinically depressed, as I did not think the OP sounded depressed at all....


Freak psycho analysts are in every desk chair across the world.

I could relate to two posters in here and I have no clue who freak John of Patmos is or was or has ever been if ever, although you begin to quote scripture and my eyes cross til I want to beat someone with my wireless mouse.

OP - much like the fair Gwen, I too think you're growing. The term growing up I think is...sadly wrong - but growing inward sounds like a foot fungus.

Most all of us go through a time of detachment.
I was intrigued that you felt it may be inconjunction with your career (which it could depending of course on what you do, which we do not know)

Also interesting that you were previously a fixer, caretaker and one who suffers from White Knight syndrome.

My oldest son fluccuates between those three and the "I don't give a rat's ass who dies" mode, he is also military, I wonder if there's the connectivity???

It is my opinion, that's where you are. Eventually, all White Knights get weary of doing good, and then they want to simply sit and watch shit happen for awhile. Consider it's recharging of your spiritual batteries. yes, your give a damn's busted. And that's okay.

Eventually, you will care again. However, you'll probably care in a more mature and healthy way. As in you won't need to fix everything, you'll do what you can and then step back and away. Also known as "live and let die".

I too am a firm plant killer, but an excellent gardener.
My solution for the death of a pet? Anything other than a dog, gets flushed. If it can't flush? Hefty bags will do. Dogs? Full burial before a visit to the puppy farm.

Sentiment is for human life.
Even those not always worthy of my sentiments.
You will find your soul again, it's not really lost, only weary.

For now, just be easy on yourself.
Find something inside of you. That's the message.
It's not time for you to be saving anyone else.
Just take care of you.

You'll know when that time has passed.

All others including the dude recommending Ritalin. (check your proper spelling, dude!) LEAVE OFF the pyscho babble and diagnosis, puhleeze. This is not amateur night on the Dr. Who Show.

Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 40
Just Not Caring...
Posted: 12/23/2011 4:05:02 PM
We are in the same boat. If it's not broke, fix it until it is.
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