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Show ALL Forums  > Science/philosophy  > Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?      Home login  
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 Neil29
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 1
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi. Im Neil and Im a recovering Roman Catholic.

How does one get over false guilt? The type of guilt that occurs when you have a desire to go for something you want and does not have a direct impact on another. Doesn't seem too hard. Problem is, if I look deeply enough, many desires eventually have a negative impact somewhere.

I want to be able to feel attracted to a hot girl without feeling like I am doing something wrong. I want to enjoy an overpriced chicken and rib dinner while the homeless guy and African children are still looking for yesterday's breakfast. I want to help people, but I don't want to feel the need to have all the world's problems solved before I can enjoy my life....

The answer seems to be ignorance is bliss. Focus on the good and ignore the bad. This doesn't help me or future generations in the long run.

How do you justify being born fortunate?
 Neil29
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 2
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/6/2009 10:42:55 PM
I am thankful for what I have been given. I do feel I have found myself, but it just seems too simple. I like waking up in the morning and playing the day out. Im happy to lay down at the end of it and say "I accomplished a lot today."
I do prefer to do things that make me feel good as opposed to other alternatives. I sometimes wonder though, what if there is more to life than just being happy? Haha, this sounds like a foolish question, however I do prefer happiness to pain and sadness...BUT what if we are "supposed" to be focusing on more than our own happiness?

With all the information out there in sooooo many different forms, how do you know what is true or false. I don't want to be manipulated.
Maybe I have just found the outer layer of myself. Ive been told in the past "If you don't go within, you go without"

Time to give it a shot.

What methods have people used to "find their self?"


Thanks for the replies so far.
 Neil29
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 3
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/7/2009 12:19:21 PM
I find logic and reason to be great tools, however I realize I often let my emotions cloud the truth.
I agree with pushing my envelope and stepping outside of my comfort zone, however sometimes my impatience allows me to totally disregard the fact that I am enveloped, then I get into a state of stress and then I get lost in a chain reaction.
I have a lot of emotion and I believe my way is the right way, but that is probobly what Hitler and Darth Vader thought too. I need to accept my current reality, change what I can, accept what I can't. Be aware of when I am becoming impatient and take a break.

Do all emotions have the same root source within us or does each emotion have its own source? Is it possible that our perspective changes what emotion we experience? Can we control the intensity of any emotion we experience?

Im thinking emotions are something we can control rather letting them control us. If we do not stay aware, it might be easy for an emotion to throw us out of balance (BPDs). Im sure this topic has been discussed before, but I might just be getting a better understanding of it.
 Neil29
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 4
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/7/2009 12:21:46 PM
forallintents....hahahaha
 Neil29
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 5
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/9/2009 10:15:46 AM
Vancer, I can understand the 3 Rs...so simple!!!

Mona...How am I supposed to know God had granted me life in eternal paradise. If this is true, why stick around here on planet earth? This is a belief that can create suicide (bombers). Suicide might be a better option than sticking around here (not my choice, but at times...). Some individuals can be coaxed by people who claim to have a greater connection to God, programming them to become suicide bombers through "teaching" that there is a better life than this one we live in now. To me, the truth appears to be that suicide bombers or people that commit suicide as an escape don't believe this life is good enough..."there's something better on the other side of that door..."
No other human being is going to tell me what I should be doing with my life. Sure Im open to other people's perspectives, but come on, eternal life in paradise...what about TRYING to make this life and earth paradise. If God wants me to do something, I would think he/she/it/whatever wouldn't make things so difficult to hear him. I think he has the ability to bypass the middle man and the only voice I hear inside my head is the same one...unless I choose to imitate another voice (haha).
I believe that all things came from a source will, but all the stuff from the beginning to now is a toss up. I have been created in "God's" image, I have the ability to create love or hate. I can witness this in my own life. Id like to think I am perfect, but time usually corrects me at some point. If there is some ultimate being that judges me when I leave this life, I hope I made it happy by using the life it gave me well. Im not going to "be good" out of fear that I displeased something. I am going to be as good as I can be because it just seems right. To me, it doesn't matter the teacher or the book, its the lesson that is important.
 60to70
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 6
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/9/2009 10:36:01 PM
As a former Catholic I found the guilt useful in certain situations and contexts. Kept me from crazy, stupid other religions. Gave me a welcome distance from the usual suspect vices... addiction to sex, drugs, most alcohol (except beer) greed, envy, sloth, (sometimes, nothing like a lazy Sunday) mostly always making the distinction between wants and needs...never believed they were the one and only religion but did appreciate the theologians (later) that Catholicism embraced. Came from a time when the mass was in Latin. Even as a child loved the mystery and dogma delivered in Latin. Love the fact that Catholicism made me a die hard skeptic and love the fact that they restrained men in their sexuality and considered a woman off limits certain times in the month when she could conceive. Thank you Catholicism for setting me apart and making me cranky when I needed to be against the shit that passes as Life on this Earth. Loved demonsleeves little ditty. But I like restraint even in the midst of any orgy! Too much popcorn is to much popcorn. False guilt? or a good survival technique?
 Neil29
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 7
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:13:44 PM
Mona, your understanding is welcome...I can believe in the concept of a soul that wills my body to do its bidding. I do not believe I have Adam and Eve's blood in my veins. I don't know them. I didn't bite a forbidden fruit (as far as I know). All I know is I was born into this body, in '78. It is very likely my soul will leave my physical body at some point in the future. If Jesus came at some point to save me of sins, I didn't see him. The whole story is just too complicated and far fetched.
I just wish I could turn my brain off sometimes.
 Twill348
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 8
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Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:58:03 PM
Hey, don't blame your ex-church for this! You quit, right?

To find yourself: hit your face, with your fist, hard, five times. You will know where you are after that, I'm sure. After awhile...the Joker was right, the victim gets all fuzzy.

Check out the Greek philosophers, esp. Epicurus. Good guides there. A good book is "The Story of Philosophy", by Dalton.
 60to70
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 9
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/11/2009 7:43:59 PM
Last post was hard...but funny. And besides Epicurus and book by Dalton check out Kathleen Norris's book..."A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life Acedia and me". A thing of good beauty in regards to religion and in many respects Catholicism. Certain atheists turn me off, certain Christians turn me off, etc. etc. (Muslims, Buddhists) you know the point. Then there the few that speak beyond the failings of being human and make the fact of existence a thing of beauty and truly to be desired. Heck "Christ" could technically be found in the hotties you desire. The wise literature and philosophy of the ages is a good place to start.
 bluezoot_riot
Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 10
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:38:38 PM
Do something productive about the guilt, and like the other guy said, be thankful.
 Neil29
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 11
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/11/2009 9:01:57 PM
Thanks all...the fuzzy feeling is nice but now Im going to have some explaining to do when I go to work.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 12
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/14/2009 3:52:10 PM

How do you justify being born fortunate?

Liberal upbringing?

I was brought up strict German Catholic, but I never believed in God and my mom recognized it. I don't even understand the guilt thing--although my mom DID used to say ,"There are starving children in Albania!" (Albania? Where'd she pull THAT from??) So now I'm fat; thanks, Albania. I was the only one NOT to go to Catholic school, so perhaps the guilt thing wasn't nunned into me?
 Neil29
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 13
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:24:01 PM
Cassago, you single handedly the futures of Albanian children?!!!Shame!!
Rogerrabbitrr, Im getting sooo dizzy...Ill have to keep in mind its a sin to feel excessively guilty, haha.
 60to70
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 14
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/25/2009 10:59:46 PM
I am wondering why guilt is such a terrible thing. Never mind being Catholic. Why is guilt so terrible? Only the truly demented are crippled by guilt. Otherwise, guilt is a wake-up call...lesson# 1...betray a friend or lover....consequence....guilt,etc. Lesson learned? No. Keep going. Then abandon all discussion about guilt. If you ignore the shrug and poke of guilt , you figure in a dimension all your own and good luck to you. Nobody will ever be able to reason with you anyways. Guilt is a valuable tool that will take you a far way to being a decent and respected human being. Should you keep going in your maladorous ways, then hope for forgiveness. lol.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 15
Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 1/26/2009 7:43:48 PM
Catholics aren't the only ones who have to recover from possessing false guilt; I was raised in a Baptist family and was served false guilt along with my oatmeal.

As a woman, I was also made to feel guilty for the actions of the mythical Eve. Talk about owning guilt that isn't deserved!

Neil, it takes time, and you don't have to justify being born "fortunate." Also, keep in mind, there is no such thing as "fortune" or "luck"; the circumstances of your birth were entirely chance.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 16
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Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:28:15 PM
I'm a special recovering Catholic. I actually studied to be a priest. Irony less guilty. First you can't end evil in the world no matter how hard you try, just lessen it. Secondly we are all flawed. The last perfect person was Jesus, and you know what happened to him. Speaking of Jesus, he said that there will always be the poor. So in other words be happy for the blessings (nice things) you have. Wanting someone is okay, just as long as you don't objectify them, or use them. Having the occasional over priced dinner too, as long as you're not wasteful, glutonos, and do so in moderation. You can give to charity later. I guess what I'm saying is you just need that balance . Remember others (and the bad) but don't forget about the good either. In the end God wants us to be happy.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 17
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Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 6/2/2009 5:42:49 PM
I used to feel very guilty about a lot of things. But it's only when I've got MORE in touch with G-d, that I found that my guilt lessened. I realised that I've been given 2 completely contradictory messages, one from my faith, and one from society. My faith teaches me that G-d loves me, and that he would want me to be happy, and even tells me to be happy, because it is human nature to sometimes get obsessed about things to the point where we make ourselves unhappy for no reason, and we need an extra push to overcome that.

G-d ALSO tells me that no-one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. So I'm going to make mistakes. That's rational, because I know that I'll upset all of my friends at some point. But G-d also tells me that I can make it up to G-d, and then He'll wipe the slate clean. That again makes sense to me, because I know that I can usually make any mistakes up to my friends as well, and then they'll forget about it, and if I've really made it up to them, and they DON'T forget about it, that's their hangup, and not my problem.

HOWEVER, society tells me that I can keep all of society's laws for my whole life. Society also tells me that if I've broken one of society's laws, then it's a permanent mark on my record. Society will always remember it, no matter how much I did to make it up. Society also tells me that if I try to be a good person and follow society's laws, knowing in the future that I will fail, then I'm a fraud, and I'm bad for even trying.

All of that goes completely against what I know about real life. But my brain still tells me that it's true, and so I take it for granted. That contradicts everything I know about G-d, as well, and so, even if I feel good about my friends, I still used to feel guilty about G-d.

But that's all BS, because society is telling me BS, that doesn't fit with real life.

Our society's values make a false sense of security for us, that we can always keep their laws, and that's what makes us not feel guilty about them. They're also what makes felons keep repeating their crimes, because no matter how hard they try to change, society will always label them as felons, and so they'll never stop being made to pay for what they once did a long time ago.

The more I've learned to accept that everything I was told as a child was wrong, and that I have to decide what is right for myself using my brain, and IGNORE everything society told me was right, the happier I become, and the happier I've become about thinking about G-d.

So yes, I'd agree that you are going to suffer guilt as long as you accept any set of internal principles that are consistent with life, as they contradict the messages we are told to us about society. Religion is just ONE set of internal principles that will bring those contradictions to our conscious self.
 rose//42
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 18
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Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?
Posted: 6/3/2009 5:14:10 PM
Hi Neil you dont have to justify your good lifestyle just enjoy,and practice gratitude,you sound a very caring person.
I gave up my catholic religion when I was 45.Dont worry Ive never yet met a catholic who wasnt born with guilt stamped on their forehead.It took me a good few years of talking to people,reading ,examining information for myself ,before I began to see my life as it was meant to be lived.Decent therapy took care of the misplaced guilt.
I pray ,I meditate ,but I do It now because I want to and not because I feel guilty I f I dont,there is a big difference ,Its very freeing.
I wish you all the very best on your spiritual journey,you are doing just fine.
Rose//42


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Show ALL Forums  > Science/philosophy  > Any recovering Roman Catholics have issues with false guilt?