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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > why do many men not reply to a polite first email?      Home login  
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 NiaJulia
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 1
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?Page 1 of 1    
probably 7 times out of 10 when I send a polite, short, first email, I get no reply. What's up with that? Do others find this happening? Do men find women do that to them, as a rule? I was raised to not ignore people. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
 NiaJulia
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 2
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:46:06 PM
sorry - what's your point? That I'm missing something in the profile that should tell me I won't get a reply?
 I Cornelius
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 3
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why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:51:35 PM
Try not to view a no reply as a terrible thing. Sometimes it's easier to simply not respond instead of striking up an email conversation only to be told they aren't interested. We can't have everyone dig us, now can we?
 HamB0ne
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 4
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:52:04 PM
Yes men find that women do that also.
 sing625
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 5
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:52:24 PM
yes it does happen. i think if people are not interested that they do not have to reply. i always respond. even if not interested. but that's just me. do'nt take it personally.
 tonyinco
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 6
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:53:42 PM
Why?

The same reasons women don't-

1- They aren't interested in you or..

2- They don't want to reply to someone who hasn't done anything to pique their interest. Imagine getting 10 plus short, nonspecific messages a day- and 1 unique, insightful, entertaining one. Which would you respond to?

I used to reply to short email- I no longer will. In the past I would reply politely, and, if they seemed interesting, reply with a question.

Problem was- it never went anywhere. I'd keep getting short, one line responses from them. Eventually they would stop writing.

Imagine being in a n elevator. the guy next to you says "hi" You smile, say "hi" and ask about his day. He makes a 1 word response. You ask another question, get another short response, and scoot closer to the door....

try this- write something that get's their attention! Read the profile, pick something that seems important to the person you're interested in, and comment/ask about something that matters to them.

Take care-

Anthony
 Megaladonfishy
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 7
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why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:57:28 PM
As a rule? I don't know, my personal experience is a responce maybe 10 to 20% , out of those, 50% are somewhat ugly responses to what i thought was a well mannered email. For me, read/no response, read/delete, or a rude response, well, i don't see much reason to waste my time
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 8
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why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:09:41 PM

probably 7 times out of 10 when I send a polite, short, first email, I get no reply.

It's more than likely due to you emailing guys that actually have something going on. And guys with something going on, like women, will simply dismiss a "short" email. That is what the first responder was trying to point out to you. "Hey, how ya doin?" "Check my profile and if interested, email me." Those messages aren't going to work with [people] who are serious about what their goals are, what they seek, who they want. Believe it or not, women (occasionally) have to make the same effort they expect to get to find who/what they seek. Crazy, huh?





~ds~
 shmodzilla
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 9
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:16:53 PM
You might be suprised how much email guys get as well. I started replying to the no thank you ones but it's tough to come up with a way to politely say you are not interested 2 or 3 times a day. I have wrote many emails and i have NEVER once recieved a "no thank you" reply
 Mr. Blblblbl
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 10
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:24:08 PM

probably 7 times out of 10 when I send a polite, short, first email, I get no reply.

That's not bad. I haven't even sent 10 e-mails. So far I'm 0 for 1. Here I thought I was being selective enough to choose the person I thought would be most likely to respond. I wasn't even looking for a date... all I asked about was a picture she had on her profile so I'd know where to find it the next time I was in the city where it was taken. I guess people figure since this is a dating site, if you respond, you're dating. I dunno.
 happyrebel
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 11
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why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:26:20 PM
Wow....You guys are a lot nicer in here than we are in AAGirl with redundant questions....This is the 2nd one in a few mins....and none of them were newbies.

Just because you find them interesting/attractive, does not mean that they will all find you interesting/attractive. Do you find every man who writes to you initially is attractive/interesting? Probably not.

Pull up the big girl panties. Its part of online dating.

HR
 bam j
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 12
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:27:46 PM
HEY I DONE A THREAD ON THIS IN THE IRELAND SECTION !!

I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT WEMON ... THE IRISH IN PERTICULAR NOT REPLING TO MAIL !! SO I GUESS BAD MANNERS IS ACROSS THE BOARD !! AND WORLD FOR THAT MATTER !!

MUST BE THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE BEYOND US MERE MORTALS !!
 shmodzilla
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 13
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:33:01 PM
Polite or not there is no obligation to reply to every single user that mails a person. This is ecspecialy true since most of the time all the woman said was "hi" . So she took 3 seconds to type hi and now i should feel obligated to take time to write out why i am not interested? No thanks. And if you just got a reply saying "no thanks not interested" i would take that as very rude.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 14
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why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:33:15 PM
Some of us don't know how to "reject you gracefully".

For the record, I'll reply with a "you seem nice and I consider you a potential friend. Good luck in your continued search".
 Wylie_Coyote
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 15
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why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:37:27 PM
OP:

80% of the first email is sent by Men. I get a responses at about the same rate as you did. I send around 40 notes to every one that I receive. After a while I lose interest in the chase and pick it up again a week or so later.

So far about 1/2 of the notes I have received first have resulted well. IMHO, I think that when a woman contacts me first there tends to be far less game playing. Besides the obvious, she liked what I had to say about myself so all I gotta do from there is be myself, (which is all I ever do) puts the odds in my favour.

I suspect that it throws some guys off of their game when they receive first contact mail. No matter what the reason is though you shouldn't worry. You look great and have a nice page. No worries, you'll find what ever you are looking for. Keep sending those emails.

Just another guy's opinion.
J Mac
 John517
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 16
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:38:19 PM
OP
Are you asking any questions about them in your email? I have had a few emails lately that have answered my questions but did not ask anything about me. It makes it tough to carry on a one sided conversation.

HR
I think the why don't I get a response from a woman OP is not as redundant in the AAGuy as it is from a man in the AAGirl forum.
 glenn008
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 17
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:48:03 PM
I take the time to reply. I find if I don't get a reply it,s no big deal I just move on to the next one, early on this site I took offence but hey people don,t allways respond and that's life.
 TenaciousJ.R.
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 18
why do many men not reply to a polite first email?
Posted: 1/7/2009 10:10:47 PM
Why do many men not reply to a polite first email?


Because no matter how NICE I respond to tell them I'm not interested, I usually get a NASTY message back telling me they weren't actually interested and only reaching out to be my friend, and I can f_ck off? Hmmm. Yep; that MAY be the reason why.
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