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Show ALL Forums  > Oregon  > Do women in Oregon ever mail first      Home login  
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 LoudSilence
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 4
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Do women in Oregon ever mail firstPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I have never contacted anyone first.. I think it may be my particular age.. I still feel funny about contacting the man first.. Not being willing is punishment because, at times there is a severe lack of action.
Do men really like the woman to contact first?
Peace,LS
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 5
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Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:11:09 PM
Oh, of course women email first sometimes! And sometimes men email first!

I grew up in a household with four brothers (yes I was an only girl) and it always amazes me how quickly we rush to put the genders into rolls, whether they fit or not!

The reality is that whoever makes first contact puts themselves out there and runs the risk of rejection, or simply being ignored! Wouldn't it be nice if we all took the time to send a pleasant opening email to anyone whose profile peaked our interest, and to reply to every email we receive! No matter whether we are male, female, young, old, fat, skinny, etc. etc. etc.

What a world that would be!
 painter0070
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 8
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Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/24/2009 10:51:11 AM
I send out mail and say hello......
 Eagle97828
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 9
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:59:10 PM
Apparently they do as I seem to get quite a few. My problem is responding in a timely manner. Also how do you say "I am not interested" without hurting feelings. I was never good at this when I was younger....still seem to be a bad at it.
 Eagle97828
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 11
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:50:46 PM
Yes they do!!!!
 sailor7
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 12
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:28:45 PM
I've been approached, without solicitation. I try to respond in kind. Thus far I've seen no real initiative to speak of as far as actual dating, but ..I'm giving it time.........Chris
 dancing_banana
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 13
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/11/2009 9:30:03 PM

Should I continue to follow up with those that have read but do not delete the initial contact sent by me, or wait till they respond? A quandary perhaps. Any Feedback?


Hi 45Dreams,

Following up with one additional email would be appropriate in my book.
 Madame Chaucer
Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 14
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/14/2009 11:52:34 AM
I live in Oregon, I emailed first whenever I felt like it and one of my initial contacts (it was actually just a "wink" on a different site) resulted in a wonderful relationship. At first I had doubts about it; I was more comfortable with the "traditional."

When I started this online dating experiment, I used to feel compelled to answer everyone who contacted me. I moved on from that. If they said something overtly sexual, generic (they'd clearly not even read my profile) or rude, I didn't bother.

Rejection always has a sting to it, but one does get accustomed to it in this environment. I suggest that it's a pretty safe place to take that risk. Who knows what might come out of it.
 jw503
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 15
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/30/2009 3:15:17 PM
How can you view if my profile is on someones favorite list?
 m kaemicha
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 16
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:42:07 PM
I've never contacted a man in a dating site or at least I don't remember doing it. Usually, I like to know that someone is interested in me before getting to know them. So, that's a no from me.
 m kaemicha
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 17
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:22:56 PM
Ok, this thread got me thinking and today I made my first contact with a guy before he contacted me. Yay!
 MissyIkie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 18
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:40:21 PM
After reading this thread I made a point of contacting a couple of guys. I didn't even get a thanks, but no thanks. I can see they checked my profile, then nothing. Also, I was contacted by someone, I responded with just the right amount of interest, then nothing. I'd be happy with a casual conversation, but it just stops. I don't understand that thinking. If someone contacts me, I respond.
 Gemguy
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 19
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Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 2/18/2010 11:58:27 PM
/Delurk
Hey,
Wildoutdoorguy and Bjswafford- congrats on finding each other! Hopefully, (God willing?) you can have the courtship and relationship you so richly deserve.
Take care.
/Relurk
 MolderA
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 20
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Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 2/28/2010 3:44:47 PM
I really dont think they do. Atleast not in small cities. I'm sure they do in big cities, but that's probably just numbers at work. There's a hell of a lot larger pool of women in bigger cities. Here in K-Falls, finding single girls my age is hard enough, single girls i find attractive(and i'm not that picky) that will even look back at me is even harder. It doesnt help that i have a bit of social anxiety (it doesnt mean i dont like socializing, it means i'm bad at meeting new people. Once i know someone, i can talk their ears off).

I'm starting to get the feeling i'm not the most attractive person. Or i'm not likeable. Or something. Surely something is turning off every girl in this city i've ever liked...

But i digress... If you're an attractive person in a big city, good odds to get contacted first. Otherwise, if you're like me....good luck. Meh...
 MissyIkie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 21
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 3/4/2010 2:15:41 PM
If men want us to contact them, then they should at least acknowledge the effort. I respond to every email I get, but I have yet to get even a "no thank you" from the people I've contacted first. I realize this isn't gender specific, but actually a case of bad manners.
 EnjoyingLife1950
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 24
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/1/2011 6:04:35 PM
Yes, I can say for a fact that I have messaged first and I am beginning to wonder if I should have as I never get a reply. Maybe however, there is something in my profile that scares men away. I would be curious to see what some of you say after viewing my profile. I know a lot of people think there needs to be a "chemistry" jolt right away, but how can you if you never see the person in real life or if you never even hear back from them. Chemistry is something that needs to be worked on. Also, I believe a picture does not tell the whole story about a person.
 mustbe4u
Joined: 8/14/2011
Msg: 25
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/2/2011 10:15:38 PM
Hi,
I did and he was a scammer. The picture and the bio never existed. Maybe that's why.
 chaologistician
Joined: 1/6/2011
Msg: 26
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Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/8/2011 9:04:57 AM
I can't remember a single time that I've either dated or developed a relationship with a woman that emailed me first. I think that's just the luck of the draw though - it just so happened that all of the women who emailed me weren't what I was looking for. But I love it when women are aggressive! I don't think they're "sluts," just strong and know what they want. Looking forward to the day when the gender roles aren't so skewed...
 unspoiled
Joined: 9/25/2011
Msg: 29
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Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 9/29/2011 11:58:13 AM
Yes, they do. In my personal experience, if they do it's because they want to get it on right away and I'm not into that stuff, and likely they're very much overweight. It might be just desperation on their part.
 mikeatthebeach26
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 30
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Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 11/17/2011 9:04:39 PM
i would have to agree but mine is more like 3:1
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 31
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 11/19/2011 10:15:36 PM
LOL...a comparison in a funny way but I sure do agree. Some do need more encouragement but, we think men should persue if you are interested in us. At least, you will get a No, thank you note ( if she is decent; if not, good for you and just let go because she lack of decency and manner).
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 32
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 11/19/2011 10:28:47 PM
Unspoiled: I think you has a misperception here. Some of the women do not want to just wait because they want to see if the person has any interest in them or not. This is a year 2011, women are more prosperous than men; stay in the same job longer than most men; and last are well educated above men. Therefore these women are very confidence in themselve, goal orient, and do not waste time in dealing with the issue. Once they see the target, they just laser sharp to the point of contact. You should be flattered. It is not an act of desperation.
 MissyIkie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 33
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 11/20/2011 7:38:15 AM
Aura1shine is correct. Until I read these forums and saw men complaining that women never contact first, I would wait to be contacted. I am of a generation that men contacted first. But hey, men can be shy, hesitant or maybe haven't seen my profile, so why not contact first? And as it turns out, several have mentioned they appreciate that I contacted first. Bottom line, everyone has their perceptions and belief systems and you aren't going to get it right every time because of it.
 jeanmarie2
Joined: 8/1/2010
Msg: 34
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Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 11/27/2011 4:39:16 PM
Sure, I'll email a man if I'm truly interested in getting to know him. That's why I'm here. I look at the photos, read the profiles, think it over and email if I'm interested. I'm happier if the man contacts me first, but I also am not going to miss a chance to potentially meet a great guy if he's the shy type.
 OregonBrat66
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 35
Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 12/11/2011 6:05:18 PM
Most women would rather you just say your not interested than to ignore them. What hurts feelings is the Ignored messages sent.
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