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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Have all the really older guys given up?      Home login  
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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 3
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Have all the really older guys given up?Page 1 of 51    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
OP I can't speak for the men, but as a senior women I have given up dating men unless I find that person extremely attractive to me, and interesting. I have seen anyone to fit that bill in quite a few years. I find it gets really boring going out on meet and greets just to realize that I as right when I thought that the emails we exchanged showed me that we wouldn't really enjoy each others company.

I am a widow of 16 years, and I started quite a few years ago to create a single lifestyle for myself that I really enjoyed, because I realize chances of meeting someone for a relationship at this point in life is slim.

Some may thing that to be a negative, but I believe in turning reality into a positive.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 10
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:03:23 PM

I firmly believe that older single men are single for a reason. They started out as jerks to begin with, and just got jerkier with age. That explains why they're still single! Perhaps you should go for the younger guys.[/qoute]

So, better to latch onto a young jerk than an old one, but a jerk nonetheless. Cuz all men are jerks. With that enlightened approach, that's what you will find indeed, and I suspect those would be the ones here who do not bother to read your posting history. Although you are not unique. Another poster thinks that older men are afraid to commit, and another has determined that we "older men" are afraid of commitments.

I talk online with a number of women pofers. And have for months. My experience is most prefer unending emails, sometimes IM or camming. Very few seem interested in a meet. My profile, from the get-go, makes it clear that I need it to be real, and "drive-by's don't count".

There are more jerks posting on this thread than any to which the posts refer, imo.

OP, YOUR attitude seems healthy to me, and that will serve you well. If all you have attracted so far is younger "jerks", take some of the offers, see it first-hand rather than seeking or, god forbid, accepting the views of the women who have volunteered to advise you (save an evident few), and decide for yourself. If you attract younger men, roll with it, and bully for you!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 17
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 8:16:09 PM
I think you are missing my point SARL. Part of the reason I have given up is because I haven't seen anyone in several years of interest, and part is because I now prefer my single lifestyle. I won't be giving up what I had built just because a partner doesn't approve. My lifestyle certainly isn't typical of a NA women my age. I am quite used to hearing from men that figure women give up their lifestyles and take on the man's lifestyle. In my case, I have no interest what so ever in doing that.

ps There aren't too many men who would be interested in coming to the third world with me, or on animal rescue missions. None of this will I be giving up. Chances of find a man who would enjoy that are next to zero. Add the need for chemistry and zero is the final answer which is ok with me.

Both men and women can find that being part of a couple isn't all it is cracked up to be especially when they have had a good marriage, and now look around and know a good marriage isn't going to happen a second time.

"Keep looking you'll find the right one. " ................. maybe not - if people check the stats they will see the figure is about 5%. It is a shame so many people feel that they must find a mate. I hope people with enjoy life whether they are single or part of a couple, and be happy either way.
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 18
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 8:28:28 PM
OP, you are fabulous!!! I agree with what one person said about men in their 70's maybe not being internet savy, and that could be the problem. I doubt that they have given up...you just don't see that many on this site. Maybe you could try to get to know some people who live in retirement parks? (Even women, as they can introduce you to men) Maybe take some vacations in FL, where many can be found?

You are scaring me...if a beautiful woman like you is having trouble, what does that say for the rest of us as we get older? There ARE more available women than men as we get older, but that doesn't mean that they aren't out there...you just need to try harder to find them.

My mom was having trouble finding men her age too, when she was your age..then she retired to FL...and there they were!

Good luck..and I'm sure there is a man somewhere just looking for a woman like you!

~DC~
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 24
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 12:39:46 PM

You are scaring me...if a beautiful woman like you is having trouble, what does that say for the rest of us as we get older? There ARE more available women than men as we get older, but that doesn't mean that they aren't out there...you just need to try harder to find them.

My mom was having trouble finding men her age too, when she was your age..then she retired to FL...and there they were!


...She scared me too...I'm having difficulty finding someone my age and in my area wanting to date......what's it going to be like in 10. 15 years....hmmm, maybe I should start looking at re-locating to Florida now.

...maeflowers
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 26
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 1:16:18 PM

As men age do they just give up wanting the company of a woman?

Above about the age of 30, the rate at which men marry exceeds the rate at which women marry. AND the ratio of the rates increases with increasing age, so that past about age 50 men are marrying at about a 50% greater rate than women are; by age 70-75, men are marrying at about double the rate women are.

So the definitive answer to the OP's question, based on the data, would seem to be a big NO.

Guess again.
 joedil
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 27
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 2:00:14 PM
Ah, not true of all of us. I'm having a hard time finding someone who actually wants to go out, most everybody just wants to email, how do you get to know people without meeting them? Joe
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 30
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 3:53:34 PM
OPie ~~ you'll do fine: great attitude, willingness to travel, basic liking of the opposite sex. They are out there, promise ~~ some very loverly critters indeed. Enjoy, and don't rush.


 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 33
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:21:27 PM
Happy Birthday, Shirley! You're a beautiful lady, and I hope that you find a good, decent older man!

Best of luck!

Peace and Blessings
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 34
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:41:45 PM
"Maybe you should go and hang out at Lowes, Home Depot or a local diner and see how that works out for you . . "

Ok, I truly give up if that is the option to meeting men. Local diner...........ah!!!!!!!!!!!!
 PcolaSteve
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 35
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 5:03:19 PM
I didn't gie up. I seem to attact for the most part, psychos, and other's have notice this. I am not above dating, but I want someone I can relate ot, not escape from.
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 38
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 7:54:29 PM
Hi Shirley,

I am an about to turn 67 DWPM and just returned from a wonderful two week singles group tour. The trip had a female to male ratio of 5.5:1 which tends to be the reality of women to men on these trips. I had a great time hanging out with two funny attractive 55 year old ladies and a hot 40 year old. These women reside on the other side of the country from me but we will stay in touch. If they lived closer I would consider dating two of them. Many of the unhappy frumpy-dumpy women in their 50's had seriously bad attitudes toward men; their attitudes came out so I avoided them like I avoid STDs, prophylactically. So did all of the other men. The other men hung out with the happy, fun women. From what I experience, see and hear if you take care of yourself, are happy and friendly, truly enjoy men and get out where you can meet good men, you will eventually find one. Stay upbeat and positive, go to the gym, eat right and go out! You have a great profile and I can see men seeking your company.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 39
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 8:18:42 PM
"Many of the unhappy frumpy-dumpy women in their 50's had seriously bad attitudes toward men;"

Just like the overweight men who blame every women for everything bad that happened in their marriages.


Blah, blah.....................some many damaged people.

Easier to just remember the happy marriages we had and forget about the terminally damaged.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 43
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:12:30 PM
"quite a few of the retired men in the community hang out every morning at the Dunkin Donuts and in the next town over they hang at the local McDonald's and there are others in the small local restaurants. "

You say that like it is a good thing. I would be giving a wide (boredom) birth to men who "hang out" at such places. I spend enough time trying to explain to them why we wouldn't enjoy each others company.

Being a couple isn't the end all and be all. If you have nothing in common, run screaming.
 charleyxray
Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 46
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 12:37:00 PM

As men age do they just give up wanting the company of a woman? The few I've met are only interested in someone taking care of them. I've been there and done that and am ready to just have fun.


I can only speak for myself but what man in his right mind would want to give up the company of a compatible woman who wants to have fun?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 47
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 1:03:35 PM

Have all the really older guys given up?

Nah. They're just takin' a nap.
Cindy O
 Much More
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 49
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 4:19:49 PM
Shirley,

You are a lovely lady. It is just a matter of time before some lucky guy stumbles upon you. Keep up the positive attitude and living a good/healthy life. I truly believe that good things come to those that deserve and work towards them. Seems to me your time should be approaching shortly.

Best of Luck to you.

Much More
 BewhichinU
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 51
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:36:15 PM
Shirley,
My thoughts are the same as yours. I am so tired of getting suggestive emails from young men. Do they really think that I need sex from them? And of course the really older man who wants me to take care of them. Heck it would be like changing diapers again only this time it would be on a 20 yr old or an 80 yr old.

I think the older man is afraid of commitment or we are about to take his savings (his kids warn him of that-- they don't want to loose their inheirtance) or does he think we want to rape and then kidnap him. All I want is someone to be a companion and if it leads to something more than that is wonderful!

Change is another concept that I believe scares them. They are very comfortable in their own little box and God forbid if a woman wants to show them something new and fun. One man I dated (widower for 8 yrs) kept saying "Peg (his deceased wife) didn't like what you like, or why don't you do it like Peg did? He was so set in his ways. I would say "Change is good and can be fun & if you don't like it you can go back to the way it was" He would say " Oh change is not good. How will I know if I like it?" Needless to say the relationship did not last.

I am getting tired of sending numerous emails, not getting responses or when I get a response we email for a while and then pouf they disappear like "magic". No reason. So now if a man dosen't want to talk on the phone or meet within 2 weeks of initial contact , & the ones who will not send a picture but want numerous pictures of me.. I delete them from my emailing list.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 52
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:58:28 PM

My thoughts are the same as yours. . . . And of course the really older [woman] who wants me to take care of them. Heck it would be like changing diapers again only this time it would be on a 20 yr old or an 80 yr old.

I think the older [woman] is afraid of commitment or we are about to take her savings (her kids warn him of that-- they don't want to loose their inheirtance) or does she think we want to rape and then kidnap him. All I want is someone to be a companion and if it leads to something more than that is wonderful!

Change is another concept that I believe scares them. They are very comfortable in their own little box and God forbid if a man wants to show them something new and fun.
. . .
I am getting tired of sending numerous emails, not getting responses or when I get a response we email for a while and then pouf they disappear like "magic". No reason. So now if a woman dosen't want to talk on the phone or meet within 2 weeks of initial contact , & the ones who will not send a picture but want numerous pictures of me.. I delete them from my emailing list.


Yep. In this slightly modified form, this is precisely my sense of what I see so much of here. Soooo, Bewhichin, gotta agree with with you!
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 53
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:03:53 AM
OP, don't let negativity get you down. There are good men and bad men out there. Just like there are good women and bad women. The thing is... don't give up. Who's to say that too old to date is? Certainly not me.

Age is a mindset, if you feel old - you act and are old. If you feel young, you act and feel much younger than your "age" really is.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 54
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:26:07 AM

Age is a mindset, . . .


Absolutely! As much in the minds of those encounter someone "old" as in the mind of the aged one. And there is a corollary: an older person, like most humans, responds to expectations. Treat them as you'd like them to behave.
Nice post, Catkin.
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 55
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:59:30 AM
Thank you whytwater. I personally have no intention of giving up.... I do not plan on going out with a good fight. I want to live my life... not let is pass me by.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 56
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 11:46:06 AM
I don't think they "give up", but rather "learn their lesson"
 bethanysheart
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 59
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/12/2009 11:20:30 PM
I have wondered the same thing. Thank you for posting this subject. I have been on this site for over a year and have not met one man on here. I am begining to wonder what they are looking for. Are they afraid of a woman who can take care of herself? What is it they are really looking for. I hope it is not what you say in wanting someone to take care of them. I do know that has to be a two way street.

Oh well, let us keep trying - I know there has to be one good man left out there - or who knows maybe more than one.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 61
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/13/2009 11:13:09 AM
Shirley, I hate to say it, but as we age, women begin to outnumber men.

You are NOT too old to be on a dating site, but I wonder if a lot of people your age really do feel that they are too old and subsequently, they don't use the internet as much as their younger counterparts do. I don't think you have a hard time attracting the older men, but there are fewer older men on POF.

I have also read where many hold the opinion that middle-aged men and older prefer younger women. I haven't found this to be true, but who knows? Maybe the men your age are pursuing women my age or younger, and the younger men are contacting you.

Why not date a younger man? If you are not looking to settle down, I can't see what the harm would be. In fact, even if you were looking to settle down, I can't see the harm.

By the way, since I was a teenager, I have consistently looked for role models--women who are worthy to be emulated. As I am 56, I still look for role models: I think you are one.
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