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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > One night stand...any chance he'll call?      Home login  
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 Caroline1981
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 1
One night stand...any chance he'll call?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
This past weekend, I was set up with a date for a friend's wedding. The guy is a family friend who I have known casually for a while, but I hadn't spent any real time with him before. I was dreading it (thought it might be awkward), but he and I ended up having a great time. we had very similar senses of humor, and we work in the same field. We drank and talked to whole night, and (very late in the evening) we ended up having sex (several times) at a nice hotel downtown. The sex was AMAZING. But I think I may have acted a little awkward in the morning...I was a little embarrassed to wake up in a hotel room with this guy.

He and I are both lawyers in our late 20's.

I have never had a one night stand before. I actually like this guy, and he seemed to like me. He said he would call. And, even though he lives in another city, both of us can travel quite easily.

So, my question is: do guys ever call after one night stands? Guys--have you ever ended up dating someone after something like this?

Thanks for any insight!
 Caroline1981
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 2
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 5:36:16 PM
Of course we should have talked about it, but we didn't, and what's done is done. I'm not looking for a discussion of morals here. I know it's not a good idea to have one night stands, and, in a perfect world, I wouldn't have done it. But, since I did, I am hoping for the best, especially since I really like the guy...
 instride
Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 3
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One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 5:37:58 PM
If I ever got a chance to get with a HOT lawyer, I would not only not call her back, I wouldn't give her my real name.
Can't trust a lawyer as far as you can throw 'em.
 Verzen
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 4
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 5:38:12 PM
Once an object of desire is obtained, the desire for that object is usually lost.
One night stands are generally a bad idea all together. In order to keep someone, you must give them a desire to be with you. Something that they crave and will continue to crave. Men lust after sex and eventually find love. Women lust after falling in love and eventually find sex.
What that means is this, men who have sex too early will never find love and will not find a reason to stick around.
Women who find love too early in a relationship tend to harm the relationship as a whole, since she is known as clingy. When the man finds love, then the women is able to open her heart up as well to accept the love that is shown from the man. The man then gains sex (The thing he has been longing for) and the women eventually obtains sex as well. The love that the man experiences will not deteriorate and neither will the love that a women has been lusting after this entire time.

Hope that helps.
 richyr1ch
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 5
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 5:40:13 PM
Meh I've had a couple one night stands. I travel all over the place so it's hard to find a woman that would actually be interested in any kind of relationship with me. So basically I just have friends with benefits in random places but one time I did meet a girl that was really interested and she was so sweet...we didn't actually have sex when we first met but we still had oral sex and had a really good time together. And we ended up dating for a few months. But I don't know...depends on the guy, depends on you...maybe. I would usually call back a one night stand if she gave me her number and showed interest. Why were you acting weird in the morning??
 Hearttune
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 6
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 5:40:24 PM
We're you good?
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 7
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One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 5:40:38 PM
Well, just my take on it.....if he calls, it wasn't a "one night stand".....if he doesn't, it was and that's all it will ever be. If you and he hit it off as well as you state, he will probably call. As the above poster mentioned, you need to communicate what your needs and desires are. How do each of you view what you're looking for....and decide what you're each willing to settle for (if anything), if you have differing views. Oh, and I would recommend doing this before you sleep with him again.....unless of course that is each of yours goals at the moment.





~ds~
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 8
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One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 5:52:49 PM
it is a crap shoot.... I had what I thought was going to be a one night stand about a million years ago.... ok... not a million.... but 15 years ago..... we ended up together for 6 years...

can't ever tell... call him if you are interested.... you will be able to tell by his response.... if it doesn't happen.... well.... can't change it....
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 9
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One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:31:58 PM
I had a one night stand that turned into a 25 year marriage!! One turned into a year long relationship! Who knows - perhaps he can't get you out of his mind!!
 Caroline1981
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 10
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:40:59 PM
kirota--you're right! i didn't mean to snap at you. i'm just feeling a little sensitive and sad about this right now. i appreciate your advice!
 Argentum Crinis Philogus
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 11
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:48:48 PM
Likely have a 50% chance that he'll call.

Best,

ACP
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 12
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:49:50 PM
If it were me, and yeah I know it's not - I would appreciate it for what it was, and assume I wasn't going to hear from him. Then if I did, I'd be pleasantly surprised. He who expects nothing will never be dissapointed.
 IM4U2BWITH
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 13
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:53:59 PM
It depends on the guy I guess.... I have had several lasting girlfriends that we slept together on the first date .... If he is a truely nice guy and he likes you then he should call ...If he doesn"t then it is his loss...
 chidan78
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 14
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:54:23 PM
Do guys call after one nite stands? Sometimes. Will this guy? I doubt it. I only say that because you live in different cities. It's one thing to date someone and then have it become long distance, but it's totally different to start out long distance.

If he does call, I would guess it will be down the road a bit and go "Hey there, so I'm gonna be in town for the weekend, wanna grab a drink (and have a two-nite stand)?"
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 15
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:01:05 PM

Women lust after falling in love and eventually find sex.


WRONG.

Sorry,but i think your thoughts have come straight out of a "fairytale"....Of course,it sounds "nice" but a bit idealistic.......
Im twice your age,ok, & have to tell you that ive been known to lust after someone,have mind-blowing sex as a result,and NOT fall in love. Not even close....

I dont have to be in love to enjoy passionate,lustful sex,and im sure a lot of gals are the same.

If we were to wait til we found love,a lot of us could be celibate for years,and im not living MY life like that,
 Written by Hank
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 16
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:10:14 PM

I may have acted a little awkward in the morning


It was many years ago and me and the lady had to much to drink. Ended up in bed. I really liked her, but by the way she acted awkward the next morning, I assumed she was ashamed and didn't want to hear from me again. I didn't call her. I wanted to, but didn't. When I ran into her a month later, she was pissed I didn't call. She assumed I'd gotten what I wanted and had blown her off.

Don't make assumptions. Give him a call. No need to wait for him to call you.
 softy63
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 17
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:40:22 PM

I dont have to be in love to enjoy passionate,lustful sex,and im sure a lot of gals are the same.

If we were to wait til we found love,a lot of us could be celibate for years,and im not living MY life like that,


You go girl!
 howbigisyourlove
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 18
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:41:28 PM
You are kiddin us right... you had great sex half cut.. bs.. no such beast.. anyone drunk can't rate there own bowel movements let alone their sexual performance. You tell me that a one night stand is great sex and I gottah tell yah you must be a lawyer.. oh yah .. you already told us that !!!
Great sex is about connection and communication.. and if your interpretation of great sex is two people who don't have a clue about each other slapping gonads... then you and the mail man or the guy at your service station must give you an orgasm the minute you say "ah".
Now I am no swammy but Sylvia Browne was likely having an orgasm the entire evening you two were slipping around..
Okay kid, now that I took off my rose colored glasses besides the scotch was lookin funny in it .. and I just got out the poloroids .. I don't think that mister one night times all night sex will call you unless he has trouble finding more one night stands, and if he heads to the fishing waters here he will likely be kept busy with that until he reaches about 98 then he might settle down.. or reach impotence only because the viagra or some dame blew his pec-ker off.

He may call you .. but according to the heart, lung and penis association .. with or without donating his big brain to science .. Nah I seriously doubt that a good lay will come out of a good lie .. course then again ..you 2 are both lawyers write... hah..

PS Never put anything in your body that you think might be bad for it .. and when you want to have great sex next time try to be present to it .., as in not drunk.. the only sexual act worth engaging in is one of now and with someone that you desire because you admire ... not a lustful bag of bones... you can get that trip anywhere. )

sorry ^^^ soft at heart there is no such thing as meet and greet passionate sex, doesn't exist .. sex is no different than any other exercise you gottah know the team player and have had a good tango and love the skin they are in .. or it is unconnected sex .. . unless you are Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone.. and even when I watched it .. it did nuttin for me .. but Richard Burton and Cleopatra ... now I could tell that chemistry was gonnah go somewhere .. holey heck I could feel my basal body goin off the wrecked -her scale.. oh yah..
 i like cats
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 19
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:41:36 PM
If it's truly a one night stand, that's the point.

They don't call.
 nolamichelle
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 20
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:45:54 PM
NO, was just going to leave it at NO, but it wouldn't let me make such a short answer, NO.
 J_in_SD*
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 21
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:46:18 PM
You're both lawyers? He's thinking conflict of interest.

Did you hear the one about the two lawyers? They screwed each other...
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 22
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One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:47:24 PM

Don't make assumptions. Give him a call. No need to wait for him to call you.

EXACTLY hank! Just what I was getting ready to write....especially after reading OP's statement of:


i'm just feeling a little sensitive and sad about this right now

OP, what are you feeling "sad" about? Are you sure it's sadness and not something else such as guilt, or shame, or embarrasment, or deception, or whatever? Seriously, you met the dude one time, had sex with him and now you're sad? Are you in love with him?

Or rather, are you a modern day, adult female with the capacity (in N. America) and intelligence to make your own decisions in life? And live with the consequences of your decisions?

If you like this guy, call his azz! Point blank....unless you're resolved to leave everything up to him....despite the fact you two didn't communicate about relationship-type stuff ahead of the fact, doesn't mean you can't after the fact!

You both were there....liked each other, laughed, had a fun night, had sex. You both chose to do that. If you are sad because you did that, all you can do is learn from your mistake, and not do that again (lest you feel the same way again). If you are sad because you really like this guy and want to explore the possibility of 'more'....I repeat, call his azz!

He's only 50% of what happened....don't make him 100% responsible or accountable. Talk to him....better late, than never.





~ds~
 Caroline1981
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 23
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:53:25 PM
"are you sure it's sadness and not something else such as guilt, or shame, or embarrasment, or deception, or whatever?"

all of the above!

of course i can live with the consequences, and, if nothing comes of it, then i'll just try to learn from it and move on. but, i don't meet people i connect with very often, so i'd hate to see one slip away.

on a side note, what's with all the lawyer hate? i represent abused and abandoned children...
 notwow
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 24
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:59:28 PM
Never had a one night stand (had a one weekend one once), but what is wrong with you calling him? If you liked him and think it may be worth pursuing, call him.
 riotfun
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 25
One night stand...any chance he'll call?
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:46:00 PM
AWESOME explanation:

All women struggling in this arena should read this once, if not daily.


Once an object of desire is obtained, the desire for that object is usually lost.
One night stands are generally a bad idea all together. In order to keep someone, you must give them a desire to be with you. Something that they crave and will continue to crave. Men lust after sex and eventually find love. Women lust after falling in love and eventually find sex.
What that means is this, men who have sex too early will never find love and will not find a reason to stick around.
Women who find love too early in a relationship tend to harm the relationship as a whole, since she is known as clingy. When the man finds love, then the women is able to open her heart up as well to accept the love that is shown from the man. The man then gains sex (The thing he has been longing for) and the women eventually obtains sex as well. The love that the man experiences will not deteriorate and neither will the love that a women has been lusting after this entire time.


Thanks Verzen
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