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 smhrgs3000
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 1
Ex-con childrenPage 1 of 1    
OK, I'm hoping for some quidance involving dating a lady with a seriously problem child, living with her, 30ish, recently released from prison. We got along great, had a lot in common, great sex, interesting conversation, and a shared love of outdoors & travel, until he moved in.
He is very self centered, black (she & I are both white), a wanna be gangsta rapper, and is bleeding her dry of things she truly afford to give him, but I just can't seem to get her to cut him off until he cleans up his act. He can't stand having another man around competing for his mothers attention, ARGH. Has anyone else encountered similar issues, did it kill your relationship, and if not, can you suggest how to handle sociopathic, ex-con kids?
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 2
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Ex-con children
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:45:11 PM
OP, according to your profile, you have already ended this relationship....so what are you seeking? Validation? Second guesses?

Let it go, man....move on with your life and find someone you deem worthy (and vice versa) of your love....however you and she define it.





~ds~
 riotfun
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 3
Ex-con children
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:09:32 PM
I don't know much about ex-con children, and I hope to never have any.

However, ex-con or nun is not the point. This man, as troubled as he sounds, is this womans child. A mother typically loves their child unconditionally. Many don't, I know. However, many do. She is probably one of those women who do.

You will have to respect that. She is not the child in this situation. She is a grown woman. And if she wants to allow her son to walk all over her and use her up dry then that is HER decision.

As long as he is not harming her in a physical way or doing anything illegal, I don't believe theres anything you can do. Except be her boyfriend. And that means being supportive.

If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 4
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Ex-con children
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:22:28 PM

As long as he is not harming her in a physical way or doing anything illegal, I don't believe theres anything you can do. Except be her boyfriend. And that means being supportive.


*in best Colonel Potter voice*

HORSE PUCKY!

A 30 year old man? Geeeeeezus....read some of the "mama's boy" threads....if the OP was the recently released dude, women would be shouting from the mountains to dump him....he's a mama's boy.....it's sick and there's nothing you can do. But, when the mama's boy's mama is involved, just accept it and be supportive and be her BF.....good Gawd almighty.....I truly love the forums!






~ds~
 riotfun
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 5
Ex-con children
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:27:25 PM
HELLO

Did you read the rest of my post?

I SAID ...She is a grown WOMAN...she is CHOOSING to keep her son around and enabling him. SHE CHOOSES TO DO THAT. There is nothing the OP can do. She is not the child in this situation. Her son is still her child even if he is 30. If the OP does not like her enabling ways his ass should leave.

I also TRULY love the forums...jackass

And I come from a home that reeks codependency. Sounds like a classic case, the mother that is. Goodness Colonel Potter my ass

In my best ***Betty Boop*** voice...

And when I mentioned being supportive, I meant of HER not her son.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 6
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Ex-con children
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:36:14 PM
Hmmmm, sorry, I've never heard of a 30 year old "child" before. Especially one who has come and gone from prison. Okie dokie.....guess I now know what they mean in the Single Parents Forum when they say the kid always comes first. Therefore, a major reason to the question so often asked...."why doesn't any men want to date a single mom"?

"jackass, eh?" heh, heh





~ds~
 riotfun
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 7
Ex-con children
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:38:06 PM
Are you not your mothers child?


mmmm, sorry, I've never heard of a 30 year old "child" before. Especially one who has come and gone from prison. Okie dokie.....guess I now know what they mean in the Single Parents Forum when they say the kid always comes first. Therefore, a major reason to the question so often asked...."why doesn't any men want to date a single mom"?


No, kids don't always come first once they're grown. In a healthy, ideal situation they will be independent.

But in this situation the woman is CHOOSING to put her child first for whatever her reason. Sounds to me like she has some issues, as I mentioned she may exhibit co dependence. Maybe thats why her son has issues. Who the heck knows?

There are plenty of wonderful, strong single mothers who any man would be lucky to have.

Man you really got me worked up, congratulations.
 riotfun
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 8
Ex-con children
Posted: 1/12/2009 9:55:38 PM

I have a feeling that the OP is a racist


We can only hope that is not the case...
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 9
Ex-con children
Posted: 1/13/2009 8:03:43 AM
Another reason I would never get involved with this in the first place. Ex con or not, what is going on is not going to change. Obviously. I think what has happend here is all the fun sex and stuff ahs come to an end, now the real cards are out on the table and you do not want to deal with it. If her son really is an "ex con" he is going to be there with mama for quite a while. Most of those people take a long time to re habilitate back into normal society, and without even knowing how long he was locked up for and such, blah blah blah who knows! How would I handle it? I wouldn't date anyone with this drama in the first place. Just my own opinion.
 Lady_Samurai
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 10
Ex-con children
Posted: 1/13/2009 4:17:15 PM

He is ... black (she & I are both white), a wanna be gangsta rapper


I have one word for you, buddy:

RACIST

Leave the woman alone and find someone who shares your racist values.
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