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 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 2
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Jaded, as a way to describe, feels permanent to me.
Where bitter is a stage one can move through.
I don't see them as one and the same.

Someone jaded would be difficult for me because I would perceive the condition as terminal. Whereas someone who is bitter, will recover.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 3
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:41:33 PM
Who the hell wants to start a relationship with a person with a chip on their shoulder or one that thinks ALL men/women are the same?
Bitter=lonely.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 6
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:05:26 PM
Nothing wrong at all. Like anger, which is considered one of the deadly sins in Christianity, it's much maligned by Western civilization control freaks.

Cynicism (being jaded) is as valuable as anger, which is as valuable as elation and despair. They are survival skills.

"Anger management" classes are offered to many who have been railroaded by a plaintiff or by the court itself. Seems like the plaintiff or judges need to attend "Defendant Manipulation" classes. No one offers "Happy Happy Joy Joy Management" classes, nor would anyone attend because of the silliness of it.

What the hell is so important about precisely labeling it as "jaded" or "bitter?" Why not mind one's own business and recognize that people are trying to muddle through life without an instruction manual--which they'd never read anyway--and with the abilities and graces that God bestowed on them?

It's all silly, and it's all good.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:16:45 PM
You can be realistic and accept the way the world is without being jaded and bitter. Being jaded and bitter only attracts other people who are jaded and bitter. Being realistic is just seeing things for what they are. Being bitter and jaded are reactions. You can't change reality, but you can change how you react to it.
 AnglFlynToCloseToGround
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 10
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:34:40 PM
I dont see anything wrong with being jaded , bitter , angry , hurt or sad ...

If we do not feel those things then the whole world would be like ppl on
H ppy pills all the time ... lol ... After a while it would get on your nerves ... lol ...

Just a little humor there .. but seriously it is another human emotion that has been with man kind for millions of years so why not be human and allow yourself and others to feel a natural human emotion ... Maybe if ppl wouldnt try to cover up and hold in their real feelings then there wouldnt be so any ppl on happy pills during a bitter time or later on in life ... Let the feelings be known to yourself and others (Im not saying be a b*tch tho) and so you can get passed it sooner ...

AnglFLyn
 LLaneGirl
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 12
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:53:24 PM
if he's jaded its bad
if you're jaded you're careful!
 LLaneGirl
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 13
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:59:23 PM
if hes jaded maybe he needs to learn more about life
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 16
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:36:55 PM
perhaps its my own spin on "jaded" , but to me it means no longer responding to the same stimuli with the same energy.. novelty freaks not caring if something is new
If "Jaded" means you no longer seek a goal that now seems unworthy of your effort then there is a possibility that growth has snuck up unexpectedly and you have raised the bar but haven't become aware of it .. your next target has yet to be defined
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 18
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:07:45 PM
What's so wrong with being jaded? Well, it means you still harbor a form of baggage... anger, resentment, hurt, what ever emotion you can think of.

The problem with jaded... it affects your future relationships and is often the reason people find themselves alone.

Gosh is anyone had a reason for being jaded and bitter it would be me. My Ex decided to divorce me after a cancer diagnosis. The thing is... while it hurt me for a while, feeling jaded or bitter only hurt me. Not the person who caused the feelings.

So feelings of bitter or jaded only hurt yourself in the long run....
 Self-Inspired
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 19
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:09:05 PM
There is nothing wrong with it IF that is the kind of person you want to attract. If you are angry, jaded, or bitter, you will tend to see more of that in your life. If you are positive, upbeat, and optimistic, you will see more of that in your life. This is evident everywhere. The office grouches tend to hang together and remind everyone how bad things are. The drama kings / queens know what is happening in everyone's life, so much so that it starts happening in their own. The optimistic crowd is the one that solves most of the problems, yet has time for vacation. Think about the kind of people you want to be around, and strive for that mindset.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 23
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 10:35:36 PM

What's so wrong with being jaded?


I'm fairly certain you mean something more intelligent by the question than meets the eye - for otherwise you are asking something similar to , "What's wrong with being wounded?" - the answer to which is kind of obvious - it's not good for the person.

My answer to your particular question is as simple as, "I'd rather be happy than be jaded".

So why is being jaded not good for the person? For one, among many things, it robs the jaded person from the pleasures one receives from company of others. Not many people like to company of a jaded/bitter person.

Being jaded also carries with it a certain mistrust of others, a negative and distant attitude, and perhaps hate, revenge, and anger.



I think we all need to taste a little bitter to appreciate what's sweet.


How about we just appreciate the sweet? The moment you say we need a little bitterness, you open Pandora's box. The next thing you know, we'd have tortures for the sake of happiness.

What we really need is more of the "sweet stuff" so that we realize how bitter we are, and hopefully attempt to change for the better.



You just can't stay that way forever. But a good bit of bitter never hurt anyone.


Hmmm... a bit of poison won't kill anyone either. But just how little is "a bit"?



There is no mistake, it was me and also I said that women were born to lie, which got me into a world of sh1t.


Oh, but most are. Most women lie and do it with pride. I catch women lying almost every day and when I question them, not one seem to have the tiniest bit of guilt or the feeling of "I'm doing something wrong".
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 25
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 12:21:39 AM
Mom said it best:


<div class="quote">A little cynicism shows that someone is realistic. If you are not slightly jaded or cynical, you just are not playing close enough attention.

Hey this is Fantasy Island out here for the most part... anyone can project, pretend, distort, lie about or shade anything in any direction they want in the safety of their own homes. Wouldn't it be silly if we fell for every typed word as if it were the Holy Grail? The longer you're online, the more you get the lay of the land and start seeing all the mutations on a theme. That's called acquiring knowledge about a situation... and this is the situation.

Now one needs to ask themselves, "What part do WE play in the game"? Or even "Could I make the outcome better?".

Obviously all of us, through some circumstance, are here because of; workload, time, location, opposite sex availability, laziness, shyness, habit or the magical idea that out here... with all the thousands of people there may be that ONE just for me that will stand out like a glowing chakra to a diehard psychic .

Just the way it is.... and I think sooner or later we all run the gamut of emotions going through the process of educating ourselves.

It's what you do with the information you receive and how you handle it that makes or breaks you. Gotta learn to laugh or perish.... and if you're lucky you'll make some friends along the way who get the joke.
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 27
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 12:53:53 AM
^^that would be MOST men cheat and do it with pride...

Sorry hon, couldn't resist...
 dharmadude
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 28
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 12:56:52 AM
I would say that nobody is immune to being jaded at some time or another. It is a very human response to parts of our lives that fall far short of our expectations. This is particularly true when events trash something we truly care about or believe in.

Cynical responses to events sometimes provide us with a way to shed a little of the pain in some situations. The only time being jaded is really a bad thing is when it is a continuous attitude. Getting stuck in bitterness may result when being a victim is part of a person’s identity. Victims tend to get victimized and this merry-go-round is not good for anybody. Victimization, bitterness and self pity are a cycle nobody should repeat too long.

As you as say OP,
I think we learn from it just like any other emotion.
, then being bitter has prompted some analysis and reflection that can prepare us to recognize red flags, avoid pitfalls and evaluate future choices. If we make better decisions next time, then being jaded was turned to your advantage. What’s bad about that?
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 30
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 7:38:40 AM
Xeno...


Hi welcome, this is yet another average male next door. I would just like to warn you from the start so most of the average women next door can skip to the next profile until they find an above average guy (I am not only talking about looks here)…As it seems, many women place themselves above men these days when it comes to dating or even friendship. Anyway, I just thought I would mention this at the start to save your precious time and mine.

To sum up many of today's women = unappreciative entitlement princesses/malignant narcissists

Who Am I?

This is Nick the prick, possibly your future ex boyfriend. I may be cynical, sarcastic, and stubborn but I try to mean well in everything I do and say. I am not a traditional guy(chivalrous) nor am I your typical politically correct eunuch. If this gives you ar$e problems, I am not your type.


This is the very reason average girl next door women ignore the hell out of you. Why would anyone want to date someone who advertises such hate, meanness and stupidity in their very own profile?

Hummm, not this average chick...
 TigressRose
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 31
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:16:48 AM
bodypro8
It’s nice to see your bitterness has subsided. I have to say I’d be somewhat bitter if my ex treated me that way.

I think “bitter” ... just like the sentence if you forgive you must forget, is different for each person.

I felt bitter for a while that cancer took my husband, I forgive but I won’t forget that terrible pain in losing the love of my life.

I forgave the guy in my last relationship that simply could not be what I needed, but I wont forget the hurt it caused and I’ll be more careful in the future with who I allow in my daily life. Does that make me bitter or jaded ? I don't think so. Lessons are learned from painful experiences

As long as your bitterness was directed toward the pain, and not life and people in general you’ll do fine .

Just my nickels worth

Kat
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 32
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:29:36 AM
Being bitter means you are still grieving for your losses. It means you are cut off from the moment and what it has to offer by being stuck in the past and lost future. It's fine to be bitter for a while, especially if you have been abused or mistreated. But eventually you have to let it go and stop letting it affect your mood right now. As it's been said, no one wants to be around a negative person on a date. Negative friends are one thing, but commiserating is easier to walk away from in that case. It's pretty much unworkable trying to build something with a negative date.

Once you really get over someone, you'll feel next to nothing about them. It will be neutral.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 33
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:36:06 AM
Most people have been rejected, dumped, used, abused, used again, abused again, lied, discarded. Also, we need to admit that most people have ALSO been the ones doing the above mention things. Yes, I have rejected, dumped, used, abused and discarded. However, I have never cheated.

The problem with being jaded or bitter, is that those emotions are self destructive and do not make you better at reading what may happen, or more open to new situations or anything like that. These type of emotions make YOU BLAME the world for what in part was of your own making. So jaded people have the propensity of finding themselves in the very same situations they despise over and over again. Their scripts become a scratched record (I am dating myself here by mentioning vinyl, hehehe).

One thing is to be angry at what happened to you and chose to do something. And another one is to put up walls against everybody, which to me is what jaded and bitter do. Jaded and bitter do not procure change in your part.

Take those emotions and then go into a new situation with a new person. So then think, would you put up with a person with way too much drama? How long before you give them the boot?

Now, that does not mean that you should only go out with people that nothing has ever happened to them, we all have drama, but with people that realize that they have to get over and start fresh.
 Sunshine-99
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 35
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:41:33 AM
Great post - briargate.

To me, being bitter or jaded is a function of a defense mechanism. Obviously, you don't want negative history to repeat itself so you approach people much more cautiously. However, time heals the soule and you will feel much better when you are able to (1) forgive & forget and (2) let go. Emotionally baggage can be very damaging to your present / future relationships. Like many other posters said, you will create many more new opportunities for yourself when you reached a state of emotional wellness.
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 37
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:14:31 AM

By the way,you are not average, you are below. I would reject you anyway, no loss here


Xeno... You assume too much in that I would ask you out or present an interest in you. I prefer to date "real" men who are not bitter, accept defeat gracefully, know that not all women and men are shallow and have a love of life... I prefer positive upbeat men.

As for being below average... better to be below average than a man with a small mind.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 38
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:18:35 AM

msg 26 Well, yeah homey, but you're not supposed to call women on their sh1t because they will cut your nuts off. And what's worse is they can cut off the old nooky supply.


I'm not worried. If you've read my posts you'd know I grow a new pair every night :)



Jaded much? By that same token then I should be able to say that since my ex decided to cheat on a 23 year marriage when I was going through medical difficulties, all men cheat.


Did I also mention that women are master spin doctors? Almost every woman should be automatically given a degree in creative manipulating/exploitation at birth.

http://ca.yahoo.com/s/831311

Do I have to be jaded to present facts? It seems "You are jaded", is pretty darn good way of indirectly saying, "Your opinion doesn't matter and doesn't count, and you can't possibly be right".

Sometimes, and just sometimes, and by that I mean quite a lot the times, a person is jaded for good reasons.

Regarding all men cheating... SO WHAT? Yeah, I said it... bring it on sister.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 39
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/15/2009 5:30:05 PM

Who the hell wants to start a relationship with a person with a chip on their shoulder or one that thinks ALL men/women are the same?
Bitter=lonely.

Amen! to that.


Horsecrap. Your comment is a form of tautology, stating the obvious. The apparently missed point is that the bitter/jaded person probably is NOT interested in starting a relationship...it's like saying you refuse to go dancing with a paraplegic.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 42
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:35:45 PM
"Jaded," like "bitter," are little confessions that the term-slinger's mind clangs shut like a one-way no-flow flapper valve. When you're more interested in labeling than understanding, you've just put yourself in an unsavory light.
 lelathecat
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 46
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/17/2009 2:26:01 AM
You can definitely be jaded/cynical and not bitter.

I'm an engineer. It's in my nature to be cynical...but I'm a happy cynic.

 Socratic Method
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 47
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/17/2009 2:32:28 AM
In my humble opinion, being jaded, bitter, or whatever you want to call it, is a great deal better than otherwise. If you're otherwise, you're most probably the type and kind of sob that causes it in the first place. And if you're of the type and kind of sob that adds injury to insult by shunning those with obvious feelings, you most probably don't have any to begin with... twisted a-holes.
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