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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?      Home login  
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 nightman37
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 1
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Right now i've a great flat, in the middle of Ealing, near the shops and the pubs. But my dad passed awayed last year, and my mum is very lonely and often infirm. If i moved back in with her, would it ruin my chances of finding someone to love. I'm 38 now, woman around my age, want men with money and a house, to start a family with. I had that for a while but no woman came. Should i let my mum live lonely and unloved in her twilight years, just so i can keep a bachelor pad, which never get woman back to any. Would it leave such a bad impression with woman, that i'd miss my chance to get married and be a father. What do you think?
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 2
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:29:11 AM
Ok to answer your question, it will only diminish your chances of becoming a father/married w/ the wrong type.

A man who takes family and commitment to family seriously is not flawed. His living situation is flawed as to the best case scenario. If a woman is mature enough to dig deep enough and be aware enough to accept others flaws/flawed situations it shouldn't be a big deal.

Your situation is one of caring for your family. Not a failure to want to be on your own.

I say consider it a filter for the . Throw back the ones you don't want to keep.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 3
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/25/2009 1:44:24 AM
I can see caring for your mom. Personally, I stopped getting involved with men still living at home. These guys never moved out and they are living off of their moms. They are not responsible either. I think women are probably looking for a guy with his own place. I never had any quiet time with just the guy either. His mom always needed something.
 shmodzilla
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 4
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/25/2009 1:16:17 PM
If a girl can't accept you for taking care of your family what kind of family could you possibly have with her?
Think of it as another way to weed out losers
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 5
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/25/2009 3:31:22 PM
Roflmao! So it takes a house and a lot of money to get a woman? I've got neither, and even if I did, there's no way in a million years that I'd want a shallow, fortune seeker for a woman like that in the first place. If you want to pay for your women, go to prostitutes - it's easier, faster and cheaper. They won't file you for divorce, take half of what you own after a blow job or two either.
 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 6
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:04:31 PM
I'd have no problem with this situation, the problem *I* have is entertaining the idea of dating a guy who has never left his parents home . I think you do a lot of growing when you are on your own and having to be a responsible adult etc. It's a reality these days with the economy/aging population that *many* of us will be in the same situation. Heck I'm facing it myself actually , my mom who has been a hardworking contributing member of society for umm ever is facing job loss and since she's in her mid sixties who is going to hire her? I told her she always has a home at my place and if needed to just say the word and she's in.... it's the *right* thing to do ,and anyone who would judge you based on that alone *probably* isn't worth you time in the first place...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 7
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:25:25 PM
How far away is she from your place? If she's not that far, spend time over there a lot, and treat your place like a 2nd home for a while. That'd be my advice. After all, when you're seeing a girl and you're always at her place, it's like you practically live there, right? Treat you mom's the same way.

Of course, what happens when you start developing a relationship with a gal? You have to make time for yourself and not let the situation ruin anything. Once you get serious with a gal, and you're past the development stage, you can have her hang out with you at your mom's rather frequently.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 8
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:27:07 PM
Steve: The US is notorious for having a lot of women like that, you know, fortune seekers. Many of them would rather marry a guy's money than him. There's never been any happiness in money and never will be. In my opinion money's the root of all evil, all the s_hit that goes on in the world, the greediness and the injustice. On the one hand you have a vast majority of people starving to death and on the other rich people who don't even know the word "enough" because there is no enough. That word doesn't exist in their vocabulary.

While there's nothing wrong with wanting security, a stable home, etc., but money definitely won't bring you love, happiness, REAL friends, etc., things that matter the most. When a sports athlete starts losing; hey, where did all the "friends" go!? Exactly, they're now drooling over your opponent's shoulder - where the money is, that's where you'll find the scum amongst us. Yes - I don't like rich people. In fact, I don't like them at all. Of course there exceptions. But I don't care about exceptions. It's the majority that stinks out the best in the others I'm afraid.

Having said that and if you apply that mentality into the subject of living at home, etc., well again, if you got a lot of money women like that pretend not to give a s_hit about where you're living as long as you keep providing... Now, since not ALL women are like that; most of them probably want to see that the guy's independent, and if he's not, at least that he's trying to change. Unfortunately due to the heavy indoctrination in the society, they won't listen to your reasons because their opinions, or prejudices rather, are not their own but those of others'.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 9
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/25/2009 7:49:31 PM
Steve and RoberKoi you two crack me up! Us women are EVIL and foreign women are !

Umm in case you didn't catch it from the OP's speech pattern or profile---he lives in the UK ! Which is a part of Europe last I looked. At the very least it is foreign compared to the US.

Too funny!
 Tyegolfsndallas
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 10
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/26/2009 12:09:46 AM

Right now i've a great flat, in the middle of Ealing, near the shops and the pubs. But my dad passed awayed last year, and my mum is very lonely and often infirm. If i moved back in with her, would it ruin my chances of finding someone to love. I'm 38 now, woman around my age, want men with money and a house, to start a family with. I had that for a while but no woman came. Should i let my mum live lonely and unloved in her twilight years, just so i can keep a bachelor pad, which never get woman back to any. Would it leave such a bad impression with woman, that i'd miss my chance to get married and be a father. What do you think?


"nightman37", I'm a bit analytical but here is my take on your pondering. In my circumstance I'm to "Alpha Male" to move home with mommie. My mom raised me to be this independent so she wouldn't be throwing me any signs of weakness like she wanted me to come live with her. Now I do see that there is a big difference between "A MAN" living with his parents over 30, and "A MAN" comforting his parent in there time of need. All in all in either circumstance there is a way to do any circumstance and carry a thriving relationship. If I may pass judgment on you for a moment and pick a part your penmanship there is something I'd like to say pertaining to your direct circumstance. I hope you take with a grain of salt. Grinning...

Your statement that you had "a bachelor pad and you couldn't get any women back to it anyway", says a tad bit of volume to me in answering your own question. Sounds like you aren't really under par at mingling with women so you may be doing a better deed at moving back in with mom. If she welcomes you, and you welcome doing it, who cares what an outsider thinks. Man you can get a woman if you have 1 leg, a bicycle, 4 teeth, and live in a card board box. It isn't rocket science.. Take care of your mom and learn how to keep mystery about yourself. Who said she had to know where you live? Go to her place. Oh wait she is taking care of her sick dad right? Heck even in that scenario you have a match made in heaven... LOL.. Hook them up while you and woman build a shed in the back to monitor them. LOL..
 jackdamonkey
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 11
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:04:19 AM
Don't worry about it dude,I have a condo 250 miles away from my house where my mom lives and she found out she had cancer so I came back to take care of her.
I don't care what anybody thinks about it and I don't care if I ever get a date cause of it,
because I love my mother very much and I will be with her till it's her time to go.
That is what you are suppose to do,I left behind a good life and a good job for her,but that is just a small price to pay.So don't let it bother you because in the long run you will come out on top. God bless you
 Tyegolfsndallas
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 12
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:00:54 PM
Oh yea..... Make you mom sign "A Waiver of Interest" also.. Meaning when she heard the head board thudding against the wall she couldn't get mad and kick you out....

Can't you see his mom and him doing this... "But Mom".... "She was over 21"... "She's not a Stripper, she's an Exotic Dancer...

Or even better....... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR MOM INVITES COMPANY OVER TO GET HER GROOVE ON? Laughing My Butt Off.........
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 13
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:35:31 PM
Really, I can see someone caring for aging parents, but the guys I've known, it's the other way around. They live at home while Mom pays for everything.

They are immature and irresponsible. I know a 34 yr old guy at work, never moved out of Dad's house. I know when his 73 yr old Dad dies, the girlfriend is not going to put up with supporting 2 adult children.

This guy made a comment to me "Well your family is crazy and do not love each other".
That is not the case! There are 4 of us adults ranging from 34-40. We gave our parents 6 grandchildren so far. If we all lived in the same house, then it would be crazy. None of us live at home w/parents.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 14
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/3/2009 6:23:44 AM
"If she is that sick, why date?"
-----------------
So for a person in that situation; is it better to put his/her sex and love life on the shelf or what? One thing doesn't necessarily have to exclude another, right? No matter how "terrible" someone's life situation might look on the outside I see no reason for that person to live in isolation or celibacy. Besides, taking care of one's parent or parents can hardly be seen as something distasteful, terrible, shocking, immature, stupid and horribly wrong that no man or woman could even consider dating that person. There's no need to start splitting hairs. Some people are simply too narrow-minded and indoctrinated to see the forest for the trees.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 15
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/3/2009 9:16:06 AM

Right now i've a great flat, in the middle of Ealing, near the shops and the pubs. But my dad passed awayed last year, and my mum is very lonely and often infirm. If i moved back in with her, would it ruin my chances of finding someone to love. I'm 38 now, woman around my age, want men with money and a house, to start a family with. I had that for a while but no woman came. Should i let my mum live lonely and unloved in her twilight years, just so i can keep a bachelor pad, which never get woman back to any. Would it leave such a bad impression with woman, that i'd miss my chance to get married and be a father. What do you think?


I think it makes you a good family man. For all the women who complain how men run from the ideas of commitment and family, here you are exhibiting that you are a family man. Any woman who rejects you because you care about your mother is just showing what a shallow b!tch she is and how much she isn't right for you.

America seemingly is the only country where we claim to be about family values, but yet we rush out the door at age 18 to get as far away from the parents as possible, and then worse toss our parents into old folks homes so we won't have to take care of them in their elder years.

Hell with that. Your flat is YOUR OWN. You bought it and thus you are a responsible adult who can take care of himself. Not some overgrown child who lives with the parents as a mooch. As long as your mom isn't overbearing, then no woman has a right to judge you.

You made the right choice. Family first. Blood first. I'd do the same in a heartbeat for my own parents, and if women were to reject me for that, then they can spend their lives crying about how they can't find a decent man to marry.
 jim3246
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 16
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/3/2009 10:08:22 AM
dont do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stay with the bachelor pad. If your mom needs help, get her into an assisted living home. and visit OFTEN!!!!!!!!! women will not give you a second look if you say you still live with your parent or parents. if you want a family and a future help yourself by helping your mom into an assisted living center.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 17
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:39:34 PM
Girl A will see it as a bad thing... Girl B will understand your situation and accept it.
It's up to you, bud. Choose who you want to date.

Good luck.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 18
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:22:52 AM
"well with me champ ive got a place in sydney and where im from you wouldnt like it here at middle of nowhere with unemployment rate of australia you wouldnt get much of a chance even with a degree thats how really bad it is its like if your a school leaver you have 99 percent chance of getting a job here plus if it means if i will put a realtionship on hold i will do it cause i will be back in sydney in may as im through job agency and in the next 12mnths i will be on my own and renting i was with my sister one stage of the game but to personal reasons and try paying 6 hundred dollars a weekin rent to even 550 to 300 cost of living is dearer than any whereelse here in the world i probaly travel when the time is right"
--------------------------------
Have you ever heard of punctuation?
 Steve_Sandy
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 19
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/5/2009 12:31:25 PM
guess the OP's mum would prefer to live in her own home, if the son came back to live with her and rented out his flat, then it would be a good thing to do.

nothing at all like someone who has never left home...
 diamondkey
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 20
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:52:29 PM
Living with your mom over 30 definately gives a woman something to consider. Automaticly a woman would think if he cant take care of himself, how would he be able to have a family or be future husband material. Unfortnately, all the guys that I have ever meet that live with thier mom (they always live with thier mom to help her out)As I got to know them better the truth was they always needed the help.

Sorry but the truth is if they were really helping her, thier mom would live with them.
 goddessVorpax
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 21
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/15/2009 2:54:51 PM
I think not. You are taking care of your mom. You may have to set some boundaries but it would weed out those that you shouldn't be with. But that is just my opinion. I took care of my grandma until I was 22 (when she died) so that may be why I look at it differently than most.
 psilyguy
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 22
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/15/2009 5:32:15 PM
O.k, I have a different situation I would like all of your opinions on. (Sorry if this is in the wrong spot, I'm new to the whole forum thing).
I moved away from home when I was 16, finished high-school, went to college and got a trade under my belt. I supported myself and my girlfriend, and put her through university. After a nasty break-up (a different story), in her last year of school, I never did see 2 incomes coming in. I later gave up my apartment to move in with a girl, and after a couple of years, things went bad and I had to leave. She had a child, and no income, so I left her with everything, and just walked away with the clothes on my back. I had no where to go, so at 27, I moved back in to my parents basement. One year later, I was back on my feet, had my head together, and headed back out on my own. I'm now 32, have been laid off for 3 months +, and am now having great difficulty surviving. It's looking like I have no choice but to go back to my parents basement once again. I have made arrangements to do so, and if my situation doesn't improve, that's where I'll be come April.
So how does this sound to all of you? Personally, I kind of feel like I've somehow failed. I have a truck, a bike and my own life, but I can no longer afford to be on my own. I don't feel very attractive due to my situation. Not like it really matters for dating, because I can't really afford to date right now either. Any opinions on this would be appreciated. Thanks for listening to my sob story (lol).
 Samurai41
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 23
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:30:52 PM
My mom is 66,in poor health, in massive debt, and refuses to consider assisted living. I am an only child. She has a heart condition, and has night terrors if she is alone. Night terrors in a 66 year old can lead to heart attacks.

So I moved in with her. I had my own place before, and I would now, if i could.

Anyone that would look down on me for doing that can kiss my butt. I wouldnt want them around anyway. Sure it makes dating harder, but thats ok. Cuz it is the right thing to do.
 Samurai41
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 24
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:29:36 PM
I moved to Nacogdoches from Dallas to be closer to my mom. I ended up moving IN with her when her flake sister wouldnt stay with her.

Nope, I dont say IN MY PROFILE that I live with her, that's too much information, too soon. Nothing disingenuous here. I am ok with it, but that doesnt mean i dont know how it sounds. Once you hear the details, it makes sense, but just on paper?

42 living with mother

thats a HUGE red flag.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 25
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/19/2009 8:44:26 PM
Memories of the Matthew McConaghey movie Failure to Launch come to mind (he was 40 and still living with his parents).

Maybe not untouchable but undesirable. Even if she gets over the "no money and place of your own" scenario, the fact that you have to sneak behind your mommy and daddy's back and lock the door to have sex doesn't exactly sizzle, y'know?

Maybe focus on just getting to square one, a kiss...before you think about being married and a father.
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