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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth      Home login  
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 Riverkilt
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 1
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our YouthPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Are you having thoughts of "the one that got away" or "what if" from your high school and college dating years?

Do you wonder what could have been? Where they are now? How their life is? Are they even still alive? What would happen if you found them and reconnected? Would the spark still be there? Have we changed too much?

Have read stories of young lovers reconnecting in their senior years. And gotta admit I've searched the Internet and Facebook looking to see if I could connect with some high school and college sweethearts.

Still have fantasies of "boy, if we could just reconnect..."

Probably looking for the easy way out, avoiding the getting to know you part of a new relationship. But I guess if I did reconnect instead of getting to know you it'd be "what's been happening?"

If I'd known then what I know now....so if we had another shot at it, maybe it'd work this time...
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 2
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:04:52 PM
He was my very first boyfriend/childhood friend. I went 'round and met up with him years later.... oh my whatever happened to him? He'd forgotten how to fly, yanno? Put himself in a prison of his own making. Was very sad, really.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 3
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/25/2009 1:51:29 PM
About ten years ago I looked up an old flame, I called him and he told me how happy he was, on his second marriage and they had six kids, three from his prior and three from her prior, how he worked for GE, and she worked in sales making over 100k a year and they were on easy street. We hung up and I was thinking how wonder it was that he was doing so well.

15 minutes later my phone rang and it was him, he said his wife had been sitting there the whole time listening and so he had made an excuse to go out and get milk and was calling me back to tell me how he never got me out of his head and how much he wanted to reconnect with me. He gave me a PO Box to write to him and a email address. He kept calling me and hearing his voice on my answering machine was enough to make my heart skip a beat. I kept reminding him he was married and he kept saying what we had had was more than he had ever found with anyone else etc. Later on he called and left me a message about how horrible I was to have come back into his life and then to leave again. He is the only guy I dated for almost six months and never slept with, but dang did we make out like crazy!

I think people grow and change and if you had commonility to start with then the old sparks are very easy to rekindle, however you do risk messing up someone else's life if you arent careful.
 texasbaby
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 4
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/25/2009 3:00:12 PM
When I was in my early 30's I moved back to my hometown and ran in a guy I'd known most of my life. We had a "thing" way back when and to make a long story short, I married him a couple of years after we reconnected.
It was a strange experience and a terrible mistake, I would never take that step backward in time again. It is one of the few things I've done in my life which I truly regret.

tb
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 5
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/25/2009 3:36:35 PM
I've been corresponding with a couple of guys that I knew back in high school. I don't expect anything to come out of it, but it really is neat to go down Memory Lane.

I do think that if any of us reconnect from lovers from our past, we've go to keep things in perspective. We aren't the same people that we were in high school. Also, don't go in with heavy expectations. Take it one step at a time, and most of all, enjoy it for the moment.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 6
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:27:07 PM
"Are you having thoughts of "the one that got away" or "what if" from your high school and college dating years?"

Good Lord, no. there is a reason we let them get away.

I don't believe for a second in living in the past. Today is wonderful. If you are wishing for yesterday...........time to ask why???
 temarie
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 7
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:42:13 PM
Wow i dn't think anyone could top my story, but your close.
I contacted my first boyfriend 15 yrs later , i was 29 and he was 30,
he had been in the navy for 8 years at 25 , he had his first heart attack, of course he was medical discharged .
He returned to his home town , thats how i was able to find him.
Everything was great , everything you could ever wish for.
We were together for a year and i half.

On halloween night at the stoke of midnight, a noise woke me up.
Randy was having a seizure and had fallen out of bed. He was not breathing had no pulse .
I called 9-1-1 and started CPR
He did not survive , that night he had thrown 5 clotts massive MI , basically blow out the back wall of his heart.
I will never forget him, if he had lived we would still be together.
It was been 15 years since that night.
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 8
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/26/2009 5:54:46 AM
Although I no longer reside in my hometown I go there on business frequently. Occasionally I run into a woman I dated or otherwise knew. I also attend high school reunions every 10 years and I visit with many old classmates I knew from the class of 1961. It was a large school and many remained in the area. While it is usually enjoyable to catch up on our lives and chat a bit I no longer find myself attracted to women from my high school and college years, even the ones who were hot at the time. Some of the women I run into want to fix me up with girlfriends who are divorced or widowed and I always politely decline. One even offered to set me up with our class homecoming queen (I said thanks but no thanks). I have been single again for 15 years now and am just too used to dating very good looking Southern California women in their thirties and forties to have any interest in old classmates.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 9
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:53:47 AM
A wise man said: "there's no going back.."
I tend to believe it's true for me.
An elderly aunt married a guy she dated 46 yrs ago..it lasted about one year..
I would like to see my girlfriend from my teens but I'm sure we'd not have anything in common. Most of the cute girls from my high school are not now at this age, the mousey type girls are the beauty now.. In fact I was sitting at a rest/bar and this dark haired beauty walked in..looked around and sat at the bar..a few mins later she walked up and said..aren't you...I said yes..she sat down and talked for awhile, told me her name was denise..we had classes together in high school..she was the mousey lil quiet girl..she said she had a 4 yr crush on me..I never knew or just didn't see it..we talked for abit more. She stood up to leave, I said it was very nice to see you again..would you care to go out sometime? ..She looked me in the eye..smiled and said you'd like that? I replied..yes..she said...after a pause.. Fat Chance! and walked away.
Moral is you just can't go back...the road traveled is full of pot holes and objects to puncture your tires..you can fix the flat but you then still have a patched tire.
dusty
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 10
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/26/2009 12:19:28 PM
I googled an ex-bf some time ago and found him, living and well in another state ... there were photos of him because he was publicising an event ... he still looks great! I COULD go chase him down ... I could afford to fly to that state, rent a car, stay at a hotel and attend his lecture series ...

but I suspect I would find the very reason we didn't make it LAST time! I doubt he's changed that much ... I was "in lust" with him when I was in the 8th grade and he was a Junior in high school ... as "grown-ups," we dated off and on starting with Valentine's Day 1991 ... more off than on ... last time he called me was Christmas 2003 to say he was going to be stopping by within the next couple of weeks and would call me because he wanted to see me ... same old lies ... same old everything ... I doubt he's changed ... I'd sure like to see him, tho ... I suspect the sparks would still fly ... but now I have Reason and Logic on my side and I KNOW he's lying ... I can see thru the "flim-flam man" he's always been ... so finding him in person is probably a Very Bad Idea! very bad, indeed ... sigh. sigh. why are Bad Ideas sometimes so tempting!?!?



Molly
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 11
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:07:42 PM
I married my high school sweetheart.

I would never want to reconnect with him.
 FortyFine44122
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 12
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/27/2009 12:25:47 PM

On the other side of the coin, my father , who is in his 70's and very good shape , ran into his very first girl friend a few years ago. They were married 5 years ago and are very happy today.
I know such a story, too. Two people were sweethearts in college, then both married to other people (someone got pregnat, someone wanted to settle), then they met 20 years later at a sientific conferention, fall in love again...BOTH divorced their spouses (there still were young children involved) and get married finally. Now they live happily ever already for 10+ years...weird

I don't think it's smart decision to come back to your past - you can't step in the same river twice...but people do that. Good luck!
 Ahoytheredave
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 13
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:49:08 PM
I lost most of my early loves to bad boys who abused them. I am guessing they are still chasing bad boys if they are still alive so I'm not interested in any romance with them. I really doubt that any woman with a history of "chemistry" for players can change.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 14
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/29/2009 11:45:28 PM
for years and years i had this romantic notion of my "first love" who i met in my later college years. i even have pics of us where we are rowing a boat together in central park and my eyes are just sparkling with trust and innocence. so, i googled him and wrote him a letter and oddly he called me up. it was a reality deal breaker, but nonetheless intersting to get his sense of our past. i always saw him as a hero. he saw himself as a nerd. nonetheless, i remember that he put my friend in a shopping cart and rolled her all around the supermarket as they went shopping for my surprise 20th birthday party. i have pics of that too. such love. such a disappointment when he went off to the reserves, i went the greenwich village route and we failed to ever really communicate. but, we were both so young.

could i go back with him now? assuming he were single? i highly doubt it. but, i do know of people who have. depends upon the paths you take and the amount of growth you undergo. i've grown a lot. some of it good and some of it bad. not so trusting any more. i always saw good back then and now i know there is also evil. still, i want a new last love to mirror the times and reexperience that joy. i know that is around the corner for me. who that is, i have no clue.
 funversation
Joined: 1/1/2005
Msg: 15
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 1/31/2009 12:36:06 PM
I know a couple that met briefly while on vacation in Florida as high schoolers. They both went home and ultimately married others. Twenty years later they reconnected, the sparks were still there and they got married. They're like a couple of high schoolers, madly in love. I'm happy for them.
 playfulltalkingmonkey
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 16
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:03:22 PM
though i'd have to agree with the point that "we remember people as they were"....i'd have to strongly dissagree with the rest.......ive recently met up with 2 old loves, from 15years ago.ish and though both had gotten older, wiser, kids, life , responsibilities....different priorities....both were the exact same women that i knew and loved . Furthermore, I welcomed the opportunity to catch up with. Also, I'd like to say to anyone considering making contact with your past flame, that I was very touched that someone from 15 years ago still thought of me..`..It made my day.........remember, nothing ventured,nothing gained.
and you can never have to many freinds
Ryan
 lunatic13
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 17
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/9/2009 3:23:58 AM
I found myself walking down that road at various points in my life... not really sure what it's a sign of... but I haven't done so since I separated almost four years ago.

However, having said that, just before Christmas a woman I used to date in college 22 years ago found me through Facebook. At that point she had been separated from her husband of 18 or so years for two and half months. Back in the mid-'80s she was more than just a little confused about what she wanted from life.

I was amazed at how quickly the years were stripped away. There was no awkward getting to know you process... we already had some common ground. And we went out a couple of times. But she clearly wasn't ready to jump right into a relationship (and having already walked that road, I got it). And we continue to keep in close contact and periodically get together.

And at this point I'm not going to predict the future. But I'm enjoying the renewed connection and I'm along for the ride for as long as it lasts.

Maybe there is something to that...

C
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 18
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:26:50 AM
When I was getting divorced 15 years ago at the age of 51 I mentally ran through the women I had dated and had crushes on in high school and college. A couple of them I had occasionally thought about over the years. Another few I ran into from time to time in my hometown. One looked me up and contacted me so on a business trip I met her in another state where she lives. I saw several at a 40th high school class reunion, too, where my date was asked whose daughter she was (lol).

Although I carry fond remembrances of these women I could not bring myself to date or sleep with those I have run into in the past few years. The women I currently date are typically 15 to 25 years younger and hotter. I could just not bring myself to date women from my distant past who are now 63 to 66 years old. I do enjoy the memories, however.
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 19
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/9/2009 9:29:56 AM
onlyfootprints, if you have children so young you need to cut their food, they must be no more than four years old. You are surely a busy man!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 20
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/9/2009 9:54:55 AM
~OT~ One time. I ran into someone I'd known since the 2nd grade. Basically? I thought it would be OK to date all those years later as I had always viewed him in a certain light. Boy was I wrong. He definitely would have been much more "datable" in the 2nd grade than he turned out to be as an adult. JMO
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 21
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/9/2009 10:30:04 AM
I was recently in contact with a man I dated exclusively during most of my Senior year in high school ... and the summer following, until he went off to school ... he was totally fun ... I primarily remember laughter with him ... we rode around with the convertible top down, even in the rain ... he'd take my younger siblings out for ice cream ... he was just FUN! so much laughter and fun! we spent time at his house with his family and at my house with my family ... we'd talk on the phone till midnight! knew each other's grandparents!

his mother tried to curtail him ... but he was FUN! he was a math major who was in "Cadets" and played classical music on the piano ... but said he was yearning for the freedom to excape "Mom" and have fun ...

he went off to school and, that first entire year, I never heard from him ... not even once! his mother called me and told me not to contact him because he was trying to become a serious student and I distracted him ...

next time I saw him, he came to my house, long after I was married, and was angry that I hadn't "waited for" him, even tho he never MENTIONED "waiting" when he went off to school ... odd, that.

... many, MANY years pass ... and I recently bumped into his son who gave my # to my ex-boyfriend ... and he called me ...

turns out that ... NOW ... he's STILL annoyed that I hadn't "waited for" him ... wow.

he is now this totally conservative, ultra controlled/controlling person, boxed in and conforming to the outlines of the box his mother put him in ... he's married and, when I asked, he described his wife as "nice ... she's very nice" ... his only "hobbies" were regarded as "chores" ... he said he never has time for real fun ... I just felt so sad for him ... his voice was tinged with anger but mostly defeated and tired ...

talk about "sorry I went THERE!" ...

I would have much preferred to have thot that he'd have met someone fun who would have helped him to escape his mother's plans and have a cheerful, enjoyable life ...

but now I'm stuck with the reality that his future wasn't that good for him ... that's really sad ... but it's what his mother wanted.



Molly

P.S. I miss who he WAS ...
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 22
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Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/9/2009 4:11:46 PM
15 years ago, my aunt was contacted by the man who had been her first "serious" boyfriend when she moved to Canada in the late 1950s. he had taken early retirement and was stopping in Toronto on his way back to England to live.

he never went to England...

he and my aunt are still together.



i didn't really date anyone from my high school beyond one or two dates, so there's no one to reconnect with. at university, the boy i loved most died of cancer in the summer between 3rd and 4th years. another boy i dated back then died at 40, also of cancer - which i found out about 6 years ago when we were talking about lost loves at work one day and i googled him.
 hotcheetos
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 23
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/10/2009 10:42:31 AM

no-job-having asses. [\quote]

I can definitely vouch for that!!!
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 24
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/11/2009 7:27:45 AM
At this point in my life I believe I will let sleeping dogs lie.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 25
Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth
Posted: 4/11/2009 8:00:28 AM
I think...it is good idea to reconnect with lover from youth.
Some of my friends...they try.
Just if one of them is free...the other is still married.

I love to meet with my friends from my youth.
We feel great connection...not because we still look attractive to each other...our attraction is our personality.We changed physically...but our personality is the same.
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