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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Single moms. Can they have any fun?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 1
Single moms. Can they have any fun?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I take issue with dating a single mom on a few points......

1) They can't ever go out! (The kids act like an anchor.)
2) You can do anything at their place! (Kids are there.)

How can you ever have a romantic evening? How can you be free? How can you have alone time with someone that has a baby/kid???

I just don't see how it would ever work.

 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 2
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/25/2005 6:56:29 AM


So if you do not think it will ever work, why waste anyones time who has kids? You have to realize that though they are a single mom, the kids are not always tied to her hip. You never know how much free time one has until you ask and get to know them. Just remember that her first responsibility is not to you, but to the child. If you can not handle it, don't go there!


I think that's it. I want to be #1 in someone's life. I'm not going to take a backseat to anybody.

I think all single people deserve to be top dog at least ONCE in their lives before turning things over to the little tikes.

A babysitter is a temporary fix. If I went out with a single mom, I'd never be #1 because there would always be someone more important in her life... and I can't have that.

 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 3
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/25/2005 7:05:25 AM


if you want to be #1, don't date women with children. boy, that was easy, huh? ;)


Thanks kitty. You cleared things up nicely! Hehe.

One final note: The day that I lose my status as being #1 in my partner's life will be because of my own doing when I'm ready to pass the torch and start a family.
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 4
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/25/2005 10:10:11 AM


What world are you living in man? You sound so damn self centered and you are definately not what a single mom needs in her life anyways. Heaven forbid someone take care of their responsibilities first.


Life is complicated enough without added responsibilities.
There is no way that I'm ready to deal with children.
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 5
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/25/2005 10:13:21 AM


i think you're making the right choice.

as for you cpupro... i think it takes quite a man to decide not to step into a woman's life and try to pick up the pieces left behind by another man. it's also nice to hear that you want to experience someone in the sense that you'd both be #1 to each other and build on that relationship until you are ready to start a family. i just hope you do it the right way and marry before you have children. also a controversial viewpoint but i don't care... it's right in my book. ;)


Thanks.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 7
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Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/26/2005 5:14:07 AM
Kitty: It's not his decision that is upsetting everybody; it's his attitude. If you're not ready for kids; fine, then don't date single parents and don't have kids. But, his insistence at being #1 even when there are children involved is just plain selfish and his reference to children as "anchors" just serves to drive home that point. My primary responsibility is to my child and I resent anyone who thinks that there is something wrong with that. No, I can't act like a childless single woman and go out partying all the time; I have responsibilities and I must think about the kind of example I'm setting for my daughter. I would only date a man who understood my priorities and respected them.

While I do commend you for the 17 years that you spent raising your children on your own, I do need to take issue with your assumption that single parents are that way because they didn't want to work things out with their spouse. I'm sorry, but some of us had VERY good reasons for leaving our spouses. The kind of situation I left is no place to be raising a child. I won't go into details here, but she is MUCH better off in a single parent household then she was in the household that we left.

The fact that the relationship failed wasn't due to any lack of trying on my part, but in order for a relationship to survive, both parties must be willing to work at it.
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 8
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/26/2005 4:31:20 PM


Kitty: It's not his decision that is upsetting everybody; it's his attitude. If you're not ready for kids; fine, then don't date single parents and don't have kids. But, his insistence at being #1 even when there are children involved is just plain selfish and his reference to children as "anchors" just serves to drive home that point.


Before you had kids, your boyfriend was the most important person in your life I imagine. That's what I want to be, at least once. And then have kids of my own. That's all I'm saying. Later. :)
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 9
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/26/2005 8:27:31 PM


cpupro, I don't understand at all why you would post such a thread in this forum - it just reeks of pot-stirring to me.


I had to. It would get deleted for being off topic in another forum.
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 10
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/28/2005 5:37:22 AM


Sounds like SOMEONE is looking for a sex buddy and not a relationship.


Sex wouldn't be a bad thing... but that's not all I'm looking for. :)



Plenty of women do not put their bf as number one.....they have family, friends, hobbies......and any/all of that may come first.


And you wonder WHY you're a single mom... :)



I may not be a single mom, but i need a man willing to be responsible and not incredibly self centered and horny 24/7


Disregard that comment. ;)

I am not self centered. I am single and I want someone to care about me. I also want kids of my own someday.
 WeekendHuntressKatelynn21
Joined: 3/25/2005
Msg: 11
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/28/2005 6:18:12 AM
So far.. No...
I mean.. being here at POF is fun and all..
But I have no one to watch my daughter so I can go out.
Single mom of a 3 year old daughter
unless the fun includes Dora the explorer I don't have it IRL

So here I am at POF...

Katelynn
 sandy613
Joined: 5/15/2005
Msg: 12
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Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/29/2005 3:47:43 AM
I can appreciate where you are coming from. I was young and single once too. Perhaps you will appreciate things that were said here when it is your turn. Since more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, chances are pretty high that whomever you marry, it will end in divorce. When you have your kids recall this discussion. Life is not over once you have children but you have to work hard to have a family/social balance.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 13
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Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 6/29/2005 9:15:35 AM

hangovers and kids just don't mix well


Truer words have never been spoken
 vulcangirl
Joined: 12/29/2004
Msg: 15
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Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/3/2005 5:33:09 PM
Wow, I am a single mom and I am a lot of fun. We single mothers do miss out on a lot of guys because of our kids, but I won't say I actually "miss" it if you get my drift. It is a package deal and men who can handle women with kids are special. Thank you all of you not-so-selfish men out there!
 d-belle
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 16
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/4/2005 10:49:54 AM


sexy-and-single, that was perfect!
 CareToBoxOutOfTheRing
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 17
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/5/2005 10:03:43 AM
You know all of us show signs of living. Some of us have scars that live inside of our hearts. Others show signs by having kids. Some choose to run from their scars, and they waste a whole life time hinding them from every one else. The true souls wear them on their shoulder for every one else to see, and admire. We all have some thing about us that some one in this world isn't going to like. The key is finding the ones that will love you and your scars. Then you will go one and live a little more, inorder to make more scars together. The best part is since we all have them; yet all of them was giving to us in diffrent ways, we have such great stories to tell about them. So go live your life, and remember one thing. What is one mans destiny, isnt anothers. In-order to reach your destiny, may mean standing along and looking strange in the eyes of others....
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 18
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/6/2005 11:21:25 AM


Oh I'd also like to add...

cpupro_4hire..I just read your profile and I giggled while reading it. Not sure why but I picture you with a big long broomstick up your a** and not at all what most single moms would want anyway...Oops sorry, let me rephrase that before I get hate mail...maybe not all single moms as I can't speak for them but THIS single mom...there...and I wager a few others too.

Get over yourself...you ain't all that. Mr. Perfect...indeed


Blastkist you are a sweetie. I like how you speak your mind. :)

You're right, I'm not perfect. But in a world that's messed up enough as it is, the one thing I can set right is what goes on in my family. And rather than leaving behind a trail of kids with numerous ex's and being a deadbeat dad, I'm looking for someone that doesn't have kids and wants them someday when she's ready. And when I find that special someone, I'm not going to f*ck it up.

I've noticed that many single moms are single moms because they had children at a very young age. I've waited until my life was in order, my income stable and strong, and my education complete. I'm now at a stage where I can think about the possibility of having kids of my own.

 sweetdad4u
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 19
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/7/2005 12:21:27 PM
well mr 4hire, i have never heard so much shit come out of 1 persons mouth, before i was blessed with my daughter i met her mother who had i 6 mth old son, who i see now as my son that kid gave my a new outlook on life and my daughter is doing the same single mothers r no different then any other women, in fact most of them have more to offer, not saying that u personally should date them but saying sometimes u cant control who your heart feels is right and sometimes it wrong, ya maybe some girls have kids for the wrong reason, and maybe some r not ready, but in the end it doesnt make them any different, i am the oppsite of u, i will only date single mothers. you should just understand the other side of things before u flap your mouth of, and if need attention that bad i would never have kids if i were u
 sweetdad4u
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 20
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/7/2005 12:23:00 PM
and to add i was pretty much a father at 20 and ya it was hard but i am very stable now so its make no diff, what age u r
 moffiaprincess
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 27
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Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 10:25:19 AM
having children at a young age doenst mean a thing , when i had my son at 17, i was a high school drop out and had nothing to look forward to, now i am in collage, saving money to buy my own house and life is great, granted yes dating is hard, just finding a balance is all it takes, i still go out and have a great time and if i want to "bring someone home" i just aska freind to babysit at there place, its called kid swapping it really werks, and if you dont want to date a single mom thats fine too, just dont use her, be honest your not into it,
 sweetone30
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 28
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/14/2005 11:26:24 AM
cuterguy........... i believe wat princess wa ssayin g is that she can wait until her daughter is in bed, get a sitter ..go out.. come home and still be the mom in the morning.. and her daughter has not missed her..
 Melissanicole
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 29
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 7/22/2005 8:30:33 PM
Sometimes we cant... and its not necessarily fair, but we have to assign priority in our lives and our children have to be number one.

If you want to take a single mom out and she is always declining- maybe she doesnt have the money for a sitter- just a thought.
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 30
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 8/5/2005 2:48:33 AM
I look at it this way, gives me an excuse to go to Chuck-e-Cheese and play the arcade games without it looking like I wanted to. lol
 raven2003
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 31
Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 8/5/2005 8:44:29 PM
ya kids always come first. but there is baby sitters and a family member to take these kids for an evening. if guys can't except the fact that i come with a package then don't waste my time kind of thing but it can work i should know i have done it a few times my self
 Angel_73
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 32
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Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 8/13/2005 11:21:43 AM
Im a single mom and i still go out and have fun ... my ex takes my daughter almost every weekend so that gives me plenty of time to go out, have a nice dinner at home with the bf, have his stay over etc.

Once i meet someone I have no problems having him come over during the week for dinner, movie etc. There is always time after my daughter goes to be to be alone as well.

The only thing i can see why guys have a problem with dating a single mom is they can not be as spontanious as single girls cuz they have to find a sitter first. Other then that i dont see a problem.

Im sorry but my daughter is # 1 in my life and always will be ...my man comes a close 2nd when i have one lol But that dont mean my family and friends arent up there with him.

 Angel_73
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 33
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Single moms. Can they have any fun?
Posted: 8/17/2005 10:01:45 PM
Thx Nixx46 ... of course he comes in a close second ... when i have a man i like to spend as much time with him as i can ... if that includes my daughter as well all the better.
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