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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > she left me for her ex and now she's back      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 6
she left me for her ex and now she's backPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
OP .... wish her well (and mean it) and ........

....... never talk to her again.

That is unless you have some kind of self destructive wish. Then go for it (keep hanging around in hope) because that is exactly what you would be headed for.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 10
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/1/2009 4:09:27 PM
I wouldn't take her back if she left you for the ex. She'll be back and forth everytime she does not get her way. Why would you want to be "sloppy seconds?"
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 11
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/1/2009 4:17:49 PM
Even she knows that you two shouldn't do this as she says she just wants to be friends. She's looking for support through this rough time. I'm not sure if she really wants to be with you.
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 14
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History
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/1/2009 4:34:42 PM
Ohhh that was rough, Mistress Snark.
OP, don't be a rescuer when she let you fall off a cliff already.
Make this under your terms only.
 blonde chickie
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 16
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/1/2009 4:57:52 PM
Just move on and find someone else.
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 32
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/2/2009 2:03:26 AM
op, I feel for you, I really do.

I will give you 9-to-1 odds that she will reoffend again. 9 times out of 10, if you start another relationship with this woman again, she will dump you at some point just to go back to her ex. There is a 10% possibility that she is indeed over him and genuinely wants to get back with you. You have your heart to use as wager, what would you do?

I sure don't like the odds, but it's your life, your heart.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 33
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/2/2009 2:35:04 AM
Yes there is a chance, but she doesn't seem to be able to make up her mind. If it were me, I would take it slow and easy.
 imafbbg
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 36
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/2/2009 5:03:36 AM
Going back to an ex is like going to the refrigerator and taking out the milk and the milks bad. Would you put it back and hope it's better the next time?
 SwampHunter
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 41
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/2/2009 10:14:48 AM
This was a very hard lesson for me to learn - but I finally did. If a woman leaves me for another man, or chooses another man over me, I don't EVER take them back, no matter HOW hot she is, and no matter how crazy I may or may not have been about her. NEVER.

Mark
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 42
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/2/2009 10:15:37 AM
Dude, go to the front of your apartment, flat or house. Open the door, look down, what do you see? It's a doormat. That is what this girl is planning to do with you with her wishy washy mentality. You can allow it, and be her doormat. Or you can say hell no. But the thing is this, she is not that into you and that is not going to change, you are a "just friends" person to her.
 tinangel53
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 46
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/3/2009 7:48:43 AM
Do you have a Continental Trailways shirt on? Does she think you are some kind of lay over - no pun intened - til the next one comes along? I hate to sound harsh but if you allow yourself to be used you get what you take. Tell her she can take her and her "baggage" to the curb!! There is a reason EX-girlfriends and former jobs are in the same catagory - you already know about them. Elton John said it best "I've seen that movie too".
 alpine ns
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 49
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/3/2009 1:37:54 PM
I'd say tell her to get lost. She left you for him so obviously chose him over you. So don't be her backup bullpen.
 outlawtomboy
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 50
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:46:48 AM
i did it more than once and it never, never, NEVER worked. plus i felt yucky about the whole thing.

these days i'm right along with the others...don't settle for the unpleasant feeling of being a second choice.
 olboys
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 51
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/4/2009 11:58:08 AM
my girlfreind walked out on me,with some one else.she has a history of bouncing around and i would take her back.i know its pointless and its sitting myself up for pain but if you love some one you try and try till theres no trying nomore.some women have gone thru some terrible stuff in there youth and just dont know how to change.sometimes they need to see if that you care to change .i hope that my girlfreind will understand that i care before i give up.so take the chance and try.
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 54
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:47:52 PM

my girlfreind walked out on me,with some one else.she has a history of bouncing around and i would take her back.i know its pointless and its sitting myself up for pain but if you love some one you try and try till theres no trying nomore.


The consensus on here is don't go back, and on first brush I would have to say the same. But after some more thoughts, I feel slightly differently. I still think that it's probably a bad idea, but if you insist on trying again, you can improve your chances if both of you are willing to commit to fixing whatever that weren't working before. Couple counseling would probably be very beneficial as well, as an outsider could provide an objective guidance and opinion on your situation. It's going to take Herculean efforts and an incredible amount of goodwill, and lots and lots of honest communication. And then it's still a long shot. But if that’s what you want to do, I wish you the best.
 actionjackson3
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 59
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/13/2009 11:09:07 AM
Which T.V. show would she be on first Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer if the later ........see ya
 whymeworry
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 65
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:44:43 PM
Your to young for that high school crap man !
Tell her to go rub salt in her a$$ !
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 75
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 4/3/2010 6:42:42 AM
It appears the OP who posted this is already gone.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 76
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 4/3/2010 7:25:58 AM
Her unresolved feelings about her ex are now resolved. She may have decided that she made a mistake and left the good guy behind. However, I wouldn't sign up to be her friend. Tell her that we are dating or nothing.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 77
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 4/3/2010 7:05:15 PM
Too much drama.



Erase.



Replace.
 Mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 79
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she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 4/5/2010 1:08:33 AM
Hah, sounds very familiar. to me too. Had someone back in December that I'd started hanging out with. Was originally only suppose to be just hanging out before she had to move if nothing happened, and if things did happen just a fling, didn't want to get emotionally attached to her because of soon to come distance. Unfortunately for the both of us, we got along extremely well with each other, both like the same kind of movies and music, and food. We were both on the same page when it came to what we wanted in a relationship. She was pretty much open and honest with me about past relationships and sex partners too. She use to text, IM or call me all the time. Can't remember how many times on days off we'd end up cam to cam most of a day because she wanted to see me. Within 2.5 weeks after she moved she drove 400 miles to come stay with me for a week, because she couldn't wait till I came down there around valentines day. The morning before she was suppose to leave to go back south for her school, she woke up and started breaking down. Didn't want to tell me at first, because she was crying about her ex. That night was the only night that entire time she'd ever pulled away from me or hadn't been right up against me when we were sleeping. Two days after she leaves, I don't hear from her for a day or so, and then I find out she'd agreed to be back in a relationship with her ex, who ironically lives in the same town as me.

Difference in this situation is, they'd been broken up for like 3 or 4 months before we started seeing each other. I knew about it, but had kept my distance because I had known she was going to be moving away for schooling, and didn't want to get emotionally invested in someone and end up in a long distance thing with her. And here about 4 or 5 days before she drove here to stay with my exclusively for a week her ex decided that since she wouldn't go back to him at the time, that he was going to cut her off and not be friends or talk to her any more to force her to miss him. So he played on a fault of hers, being she didn't like to let people go. She'd been open about convo's she'd had with him, and other friends with me without even asking, so I choose to believe she was telling me the truth on it. One of those aggravation factor things I guess. Up until that point I had no doubts as to whether she'd wanted to be with me or not, she'd made it pretty clear she did. She'd even been telling a couple mutual friends she REALLY Really liked me or more, and she'd even been telling her mother about me, and wanted me to meet her parents.

So to the OP, dude it's not easy to let someone go, especially when real feelings are involved. Whether or not you stick around and try and get back with her is up to you. Just remember an old Saying, "hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me." Remember that she could likely do the same thing again, or that she may just be using you for moral support while she's on the rebound. It's really really hard to let go when they beg you not to leave because they don't want to lose you... Never understood why some women do that after ripping your heart out.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 80
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 4/5/2010 1:28:54 PM
You will be only a whipping boy to her. So do not play her game. I would not play "just friends" with this person. So let it go.
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