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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Getting back together after court has started?      Home login  
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 FastReb
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 7
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Getting back together after court has started?Page 1 of 1    
I think this would really depend on why they were in court in the first place. Were they married and decided to divorce for some reason? Were they not married when the children were born and the dad decided to try for visitation? Also, each state has their own rules, but most do allow the process to stop for a while.

Now, I'd say if they were married when the kids were born, and the reason for the divorce was just irreconcilable differences, then I don't believe there would be a problem with trying to reconcile.

If they were married when the kids were born, and the split was for something like infidelity, then getting back together usually means adultery can't be used as grounds for divorce any longer. As a matter of fact, most times if infidelity is the reason for the split, if they continue to cohabitate, or especially if they have sex together, adultery can't be used as the reason for the split. The reason is that the courts usually look at this as acceptance of the infidelity, especially if they have sex after the agrieved party has found out about the infidelity.

As for the case of them not being married when the kids were born, your friend would have to check with a lawyer on whether the reconciliation would help the other sides chances of getting certain parental rights or not.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 10
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Getting back together after court has started?
Posted: 2/8/2009 9:18:29 PM
It's not an either/or situation and My I has a point in that maybe they should take this slow with the reconciliation. This allows both parties to examine their true motives for getting back together. While it is always preferable to splitting if it can work, the kids don't need to be on an emotional roller coaster while mom and dad get their shit together.

She should follow this to its conlusion. If they get back together great. My sister-in-law did this but they never changed anything, she kept getting her child support checks when they were living together again. In her case it wound up being the right thing because they wound up splitting, because he cheated on her, so she was able to just move forward without having to go through the stress et al of court.

If he tries to tell her that this is an indication that she is not really trying, she should tell him that it is going to take more than 5 minutes to paste their marriage back together and in the meantime, she wants to ensure that their childrens' lives are disrupted as little as possible. If he's sticking around, what does he care what the papers say?
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 12
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Getting back together after court has started?
Posted: 2/9/2009 4:10:53 AM
Had a friend that was going through a big issue divoce and then his wife turned around and said likes try and work this out. Knowing I had been through a divoce also he called me for advice. Telling him, the clock stopped ticking at seperation, they had a 9 year marrigae, if they were to get back together to try and work it out the clock starts ticking again. That's all I had to say and he saw what she was trying to do and it was not trying to work it out it was an attempt to get the clock over the 10 year number, which changes the rules in this state and could have put part of his retierment at risk. Came down to she would have had lots more to gain and he would have had lots more to lose if they did it and it failed and as soon as he knew that, he knew what she really was after. Getting back together seldom works, but it can cost lots and lots.
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