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 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 1
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Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
MY QUESTION IS: How many people would not tolerate an unbathed partner in their bed?

A male friend and I were discussing hygiene and sexual intimacy. He told me that he and his wife of 20 years, bath in the morning and NOT at night.....before going to bed.

I asked if they were sexual and he said "of course, including oral sex".

A full day usually includes physical activities, and using the commode.
IS WHAT HE TOLD ME STANDARD? Please comment. This sounds horrible to me.
 Landra
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 2
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 1:58:21 PM
Napoleon sent a note to Josephine while away on a campaign.
The missive said "I'll be home in 3 days. Don't bathe. "
 *Don*
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 3
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 2:03:52 PM

MY QUESTION IS: How many people would not tolerate an unbathed partner in their bed?

Me.

Full shower or bath before sex, for both parties -- always -- together, if applicable. Let's just say that there's certain places I like to go and I like those places clean. And I'm sure my partner feels the same way.

D
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 4
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Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 2:33:27 PM
"That's actually very bad for your skin"

A good lotion fixes that easily and in our weather needs to be applied daily.

Cat showers............no thanks.

I wouldn't expect or accept unwashed sex.
 WindRoper
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 5
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 2:57:08 PM
OMG! Redarcangel and I actually are gonna agree about something! LOL!

Until recently I felt/thought a bath/shower before was absolutely necessary. The spongy stuff mentioned we referred to as "wh*** house baths" and those seemed reserved for hospital stays _cuz I and my previous partners were taking baths/showers). I've had to send a trucker 'fresh' from the road to the shower so it ain't like I don't know the difference between unwashed and unclean, dirty, funky or whatever you wanna call it. What I've learned is that clinging to such expectations can diminish a couple's sex life. Lord knows I wasn't gonna take a shower before bed AND after waking up on most days... I couldn't even find that kind of time... and since I had to look decent for work you know which one I chose.

Back in the day only the wealthy even had the option of bathing every day. But it was the poor people who had all the younguns. Hmmm.... Maybe there really is something to natural scents, pheromones and all that.
 lelathecat
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 6
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 3:13:15 PM
you mean to tell me that everyone is going to break the momentum of a great make out session to get up and go take full showers?

You are sitting on the sofa and things start getting really frisky and then he says well I better get up and take a full shower before sex.

Might as well dump a cold bucket of water on me.

And no don't even mention the taking the shower together option. Not everyone wants to jump naked into bed cold and wet all the time.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 7
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 3:35:25 PM
quickies are usually spontaneous and unplanned, -(and the most memorable)
however if you have the evening planned out -better give everything the once over
 IH8SPORKS
Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 8
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 3:41:22 PM
I like a nice shower or bath as part of the foreplay. While fun in it's own right, also assures both partners everything is clean!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 9
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 4:41:02 PM
How did the conversation come up? I am always in awe what people will discuss with friends--somehow, even discussing such an issue with strangers on POF seems "better."

And no, I am by no means a prude, but I try to imagine the scenario: Friend enters the room, looks around, sits down, and says out of the corner of his mouth, "The little lady and I don't shower or bathe before we have sex."

Camera pans to the OP, sitting open-mouthed, horrified to think of such an act occurring without the prior benediction of soap and water. She thinks: I can't believe this and I am going to open a forum on POF to see if other people believe this.

Fade to black.
 WsprsOnTheWind
Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 10
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:03:52 PM
I just got rid of a guy that works outside. I am in the south and it gets hot here in the summer. He would go three days w/o bathing. I'm like ummm NOPE, not this girl. I typically take two showers a day even in the winter months.
 Sincerelady5
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 11
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:12:49 PM
If the couple have been together for 20years then they must certainly like each other the way they both are.
Guess that is what really matters, not what other people think about them.
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 12
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:12:50 PM
Gosh, they have all those wonderful flushable wipes now days. I thought everyone carried them and used them? If I showered every day, I would blow away. I have the normal red haired complexion which includes dry skin. Now after a session I would say I need it more than before.
 oldsoul
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 13
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:19:15 PM
Well, it depends...are we talking first time sex with someone new? Or sex with someone you love? Because yes, it is different (it is for me anyway)...the man I love doesn't repulse me (ever)...a new man, well that's different. I don't know him "that way" yet.

But your husband (or wife)...geese...a shower before each time we make love?? Really?? Why? I assume that most adults know how to properly look after themselves and that they have enough respect, both for themselves and their partners, to make sure that everything is fresh and clean...no?? Gawd...one more reason to add to my ever growing "why I'll never date again" list.



JMO
 *Don*
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 14
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:20:42 PM
It’s funny with this topic, that it’s split into the do’s and don’ts, with the wall going up in between so quickly. Yeah, I’m a shower before sex person, but that’s just me. It doesn’t make it right or wrong, just my way, and such that I have sex with those that think the same. Yes, I’ve had sex without showering – of course – but it’s not really my ‘thing’. If all the body parts are lined up, all the heads up here, all the feets down there, there’s not a great deal of problem for me. But I’m the type that doesn’t get a whole lot out of just a boink to relieve the tension – except to relieve the tension, of course. I like to explore the woman’s body, and it just isn’t as pleasant for me if there’s not the clean ‘smell’ of the woman, unclouded by the toil of the day. But then, I can get in and out of a shower in the time it takes someone to turn down a bed, so there’s not a lot of mood wrecking for a quick rinse off. And I do wonder about the jumping into bed cold and wet comments. For myself, I shower with warm water and towel off afterwards. And when it comes right down to it, I’ll often wait till morning for my shower. My partner and I will fall asleep in an embrace, all the heads up here, all the feets down there. Some nights, that is every bit as pleasant as 'shaking the bed' sex. But then again, that’s just me – not right, not wrong – just the way it’s most pleasant for me.

D
 Sincerelady5
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 15
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:41:51 PM
you mean to tell me that everyone is going to break the momentum of a great make out session to get up and go take full showers?

You are sitting on the sofa and things start getting really frisky and then he says well I better get up and take a full shower before sex.

Might as well dump a cold bucket of water on me.

And no don't even mention the taking the shower together option. Not everyone wants to jump naked into bed cold and wet all the time.

 *lilacwine*
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 16
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Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:10:13 PM
Maybe I'm weird, but I most days I take a shower in the morning and a bath at night, sex or not. After it becomes a habit you just feel gross if you don't do it. I have to wash my hair every morning or I feel sweaty and dirty all day. I love bathing and I love that super-clean feeling.

I'm grateful I didn't live in the Elizabethan era when people only bathed three times in their lives: the day they were born, their wedding day, and after they died. Can you imagine what an assembly of those people must have smelled like? I'm glad I live in the present day!
 lorelei540
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 17
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:30:44 PM

I like to explore the woman’s body, and it just isn’t as pleasant for me if there’s not the clean ‘smell’ of the woman, unclouded by the toil of the day.

If she's just taken a shower, then you're not smelling "the clean smell of the woman", you're smelling soap.

I prefer the smell of an actual human to the smell of cleaning products, but that's just me.
 texasbaby
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 18
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Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:31:40 PM
To each his/her own,,, but as for myself,, I love the smell of a freshly bathed body....
I have very long hair,,, far past waist length actually,, when I shower at night, I simply twist it into a knot and stick a chop stick through it. Then I don't go to bed with wet hair...

tb
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 19
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Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:54:54 PM
"you mean to tell me that everyone is going to break the momentum of a great make out session to get up and go take full showers?"

Try being clean showered in the first place so that you are ready for whatever.

"Some of us.. have oily skin to begin with moraima" In the winter, when the air is dry enough to spark when you touch something............lucky you. The rest of us have to take care not to get cracked skin by washing with moisturizing bath products and then applying a good protective moisturizing lotion.

" don't do anything to "dirty" myself during the day" ??? no need for deodorant then.

"I don't consider them cat.. " Cat showers are what they are called in Cuba when the weather is cold, and they have no heat in the houses". I think that is a cute name for a sponge bath.

Waist length hair I have too. If I am not going to wash it when I shower, I just pin it up. Problem solved.
 zippylarue
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 20
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:05:28 PM
You're kidding right? Who wouldn't want to come to a lover as clean and fresh as they could?

I wouldn't even entertain the thought of jumping into bed with someone I cared about if I smelled bad. I truly care about the men I've been intimate with.

About the married sex thing, my ex and I didn't always plan ahead, sometimes it just happened. But because we showered or bathed on a daily basis it wasn't a big deal. However, should the occasion arise now, you can bet your bippy I'll be in the shower before making love. It's just good common sense and good hygiene. As Cdn Guy says, 'it's just the way I am'.

As for smelly guys, if they didn't want to shower before making love, well there would be no love making. Again, 'it's just the way I am'.

 outofthedesert
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 21
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:06:08 PM

And no don't even mention the taking the shower together option. Not everyone wants to jump naked into bed cold and wet all the time


Ever heard of staying in the shower? Surely that is not a new concept for a lot of people.
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 22
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:08:19 PM
I actually don't even need to apply deodorant/antiperspirant every day. It really isn't a problem in the winter at all. As I have to use oil and I do use baby oil even though someone said it was bad for your skin on another thread one day, I often use other oils such as lilac, hyacinth, and other flowers. I am clean as I am not sweating, I am not exfoliating, I am in my house 24/7, so unless I am cleaning house, no dirt. I don't think anyone except those that are close to me, live with me, know how often I bath. I think I smell great and my bf seems to always say how good I smell etc.

But after a romp, oh yeah, then there is something to wash off...
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 23
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:49:09 PM
A couple of years ago there was a thread on how soon after sex one should get up and wash. Most of the thread voted for about five minutes.

I'm going to let the the serious bathers estimate how *they* smell. I was once the owner/user of a bidet, due to a mate's insistence. He's since taken himself elsewhere. After grieving quite a bit, I'm just as relieved as not: rigidity in a partner is kind of unpleasant, long term. For me.

My sense of smell is good enough that it can produce actual pain on occasion, but on the whole, I adore the way a *reasonably* clean human body smells. Madison Avenue's version? Not so much. In fact, not at all. I don't especially wish to make love to a pine tree, and most of my men haven't been all that fond of doing the same with orchids or jasmine or lemon grass or whatever.

Good thing the human race up till about the last fifty years didn't have any such requirements, or we would have died out on the savannas of Africa, lol!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 24
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Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:19:13 PM
"the human race up till about the last fifty years didn't have any such requirements, or we would have died out "

You say that like it is a bad thing.

I have heard that people don't think their odour smells when they don't wash, but most are wrong.
 harleycross
Joined: 3/30/2007
Msg: 25
Hygiene and intimacy (sexual)
Posted: 2/9/2009 9:00:05 PM
you should both start in the tub and finish in the bed room... or viceversa, i had a date one time that liked the smell of my underarms... however, before you go Ohhhhhhh look up the word Pheromones.... as in sexual....
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