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 Mikey7619
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 1
Sex with a disabled personPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Out of curosity when scanning through profiles and coming across one that says he has a disability does it ever enter the woman's mind to write or not to write based on the thought what she thinks it might be like having sex with a disabled person and if the thought enters the mind about if I had kids with that guy wuold the kids also end up being disabled?
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 2:25:05 PM
A good friend of mine is in a chair. He has a wicked sense of humor and I love him dearly.. and he's hot!! If we were closer geographically, I'm sure we'd have the potential for some hot steamy moments. I know for a fact that his is not a genetic disability.. so the thought of it being passed on is not really there.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 3
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 3:21:55 PM
Mike, you are kidding right??? Is this something that crosses your mind???

How can any one person say what others think... I am not having kids at this age, so that isn't my first thought. As well not all disabilities mean a person is unable to have sex.

Pfffftttt no wonder women get the impression men only think about sex
 Mikey7619
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 4
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 4:37:54 PM
No I was just curious if if a guy wuold see a woman/man is disabled if they might think the guy might have problems in bed. It was just a question I've been wondering about.

In my profile I put that I've got a slight case of CP and I keep getting read/deleted messages so I thought maybe its something that a woman might think about.
 Dan33702
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 5
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:37:07 PM
I have a physical disability that isn't genetic. I wouldn't want to post that in my profile cause this is a dating site, not a site for women looking for fertility. I would hope that child bearing would be the last thing a woman thinks about when viewing profiles.
 Rae327
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 6
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:53:26 PM
Not the first thing on my mind...

I have a disability too, but I did not put it in my profile... hmmm, maybe I should, guys would wanna know what hanging out with a deaf girl is like?? just kidding. Kudos to you for being open and honet about it, and if "the right one" swims along, she will not be put off by it. My neice has a severe case of CP, but she's still a great person. I think people who judge others because of disabilities... well, I do not think highly of them!
 GREATEST LOVER
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 7
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:55:13 PM
well i had sex with a chic with two broken legs on crutches, i had to carry her upstairs to the bedroom. and i had sex with one with broken ribs, i couldn't lay on top of her. it seems no matter what position we did it in, she was writhing in pain..that was a tough one...lol
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 8
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:23:24 PM
I guess it would depend on what the disability was and if it is genetically carried. I'm way past having kids, so for me, meeting a man with a genetic disability wouldn't be a problem, nor would a developed or accidental disability. I think it very well may be different for younger women in their child-bearing years. I would be much more inclined to avoid someone with a genetic disability if I was planning on having children. That's just a fact of life. Why put that burden on yourself and your offspring if you can avoid it?

I have a condition called dysautonomia and I am severely limited in what I can do physically. I have it stated on my profile, so a man knows that before he contacts me (if he reads the profile!). I have met some wonderful men who have absolutely no problem with my limitations and I adore them for it. But again, I'm at a different stage in my life than you are, OP. I'm sure you have discussed with your physician the chances of your offspring having the disease. If not, do so. Be honest with the women you meet and let them decide for themselves. Good luck to you!
 Mikey7619
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 9
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:25:19 PM
Cerebral Palsy is not genetic
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 10
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:34:32 PM

Cerebral Palsy is not genetic

Well, there you go! I would think that for many women, it wouldn't be a problem. We all roll the dice when it comes to having healthy children. I wish you the very best!
 Mikey7619
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 11
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:30:47 AM
Yes but you see some women dont know that. When they hear CP they think of someone in a wheelchair who needs constant care not knowing that there are varying degrees of CP or any disability for that matter
 Mikey7619
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 12
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/14/2009 8:13:26 AM
I kind of figured that alot of men get read/deleted but I just wanted to find out if it had anything to do with being slightly physically different in my case. Your post opened my eyes 1 eyebob..

All the best to everyone
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 13
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/14/2009 8:48:34 PM
Mike, there seems to be a lot more people than you realized with disabilities...

One to avoid is saying you have mental illness... That is a killer no matter what, it is one of those that I personally think gets explained on a date... Not something that works well announcing in a profile...

I have fibromyalgia... I have fought it for 20 yrs, and has of yet come to grips with who I used to be and who I am now... Of course I have to add 10 yrs ago I blew three disc in my neck and a Dr botched the job...

The only thing I was asked by men is that limited my ability to perform oral... Land all might, is that all they can worry about??? LOL, oh yes you were asking kind of the same question..

Does CP limit your life to the point that YOU can't enjoy it, or be who you really are?

If not then you just haven't met the right person that is looking for YOU....

Don't give up, or let something like that limit who you think you are. People on dating sites have some ODD outlooks, and then some are kicked back, and accepting of good people...

Good luck...
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 14
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:37:22 PM
The only thing I would have to come to grips with is sex in the vehicle. I'm not certain I can deal with fvcking our brains out in the handicap parking spaces.... always being so close to the doors and pedestrian traffic can be intimidating. I'll have to practise at being an exhibitionist. After the first few times I guess it will be ok........ I've been told I have very good adaptive qualities.


I've worked in facilities where there were disabled people.... it's not difficult forgetting they even have disabillities when their charm, wit and great personality take precedence.

Oddly enough, I know of a woman in a wheelchair who is also a criminal (credit card theft, among other thongs). Who would ever imagine a disabled person being a criminal? It's kinda the same thing.... if you ignore the physical aspect of a person, they can be as wonderful as anyone else... and as criminal too -
 LucOberdere
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 15
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:52:40 PM
Well I have a BAD case of tunnel carpal from typing away on here...

Maybe that has been the reason !










 Dan33702
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 16
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:04:52 AM
Here's an odd, but very true story that hat happened to me.

In 2001, I was a year removed from my first real relationship. I hadn't seen anyone during that time until I met Tara. Tara and I started talking on YM one day. We must've hit it off real good cause she gave me her number within that first hour of chatting.

She lived about 10 minutes away from me. I remember it was a Thursday when we first chatted cause she was going on a 3 day Disney vacation the next morning. I knew she was really into me cause she was saying how she really wanted to meet me that night but couldn't since she had to be up early.

I knew I had to tell her about my disability real quick cause she was so anxious to see me. So I tell her over the phone and none of it phases her. It was a great relief.

Sunday night comes and she calls me, tells me how much she missed talking to me and even has a poem that she had written about me while she was at Disney. I could tell things were going quick, too quick, but I still went along. She tells me that she wants to come over on Monday. I agreed, then she tells me this fantasy she has about knocking on my door, me answering and both of us passionately kiss each other. I said "sure", but deep down kinda figured that she'd take one look at me and realize I may not be as she pictured.

Monday comes and she calls me telling me she's on her way over. She arrives shortly after, rings the doorbell, I answer, but didn't kiss her, just said hey, nice to see you, glad you made it, and other pleasantries. She finds her way to my bedroom and makes herself comfortable laying on my bed, while I just sit nervously on the edge thinking "is this really going as well I think?"

We start talking and she asks why I didn't kiss her. I told her that I was afraid she'd have second thoughts and run away. She explains that she already told me the disability didn't bother her, so with that, I went in for the kiss.

After an hour or so of kissing and her going down on me, I ask her if she'd like to go out to eat or to the nearby park and walk around. Her answer flabbergasted me. She replied "we can have sex, but I don't wanna be seen with you." I was stunned, but she added that she just wasn't ready to be out in public with me.

I should have kicked her out of my house after that, but unfortunately my hormones spoke for me, so I just shrugged it off.

Tara came over several times a week, it was just for sex, nothing else. After about 2 months she tells me she has concert tickets and wants me to go with her. I agreed to go, so I figured it would be nice to actually have our first date. Not only were we going to a concert, but she also wanted me to meet her mother before we left. Something must've really clicked inside her for her to suggest these two big things in the same day.

I get introduced to her mother and she seems to really like me, telling me that Tara says so many good things about me. I was confused but just rolled with it. Even the concert was weird, the girl who didn't want anything to do with me in public was all over me, kissing me between songs, holding my hand, etc...

Sadly I don't have an ending to this story, cause I really don't remember what happened between Tara and I. I don't know if I started seeing someone else or if it was mutual, cause I do know that she would still chat with me, telling me about how the guys she had been seeing don't treat her right.
 warp9pnt9
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 17
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:44:01 AM
Genetic disability here. Age 32. My own mom just revealed to me last week, she wanted to have 3 kids, but stopped after me (the 2nd) because I came out disabled. Spinal Muscular Atrophy - Type 1. But a very mild case that isn't in textbooks, closer to a Type 3 or Type 4, they keep widening the spectrum of the disease due to people like me. But I was born with it and that is most definitely type 1. And since I'd pass it on (100% to a boy, 33/66 if a girl would get it or only carry it for her children...) my mom said I shouldn't even have kids. My own MOM for F's sake! Thanks for the self-esteem boost! I suppose I should just crawl in a hole and die, for all the good I am. I'll never have a family of my own flesh and blood. And my mom said regardless of disability, even two healthy people shouldn't have kids after age 35-40 due to MAJOR increased risk of ANY birth defects. I'm age 32, never dated, never had sex. Forgot to mention the disability one time, went to meet for drinks, girl was a total fish, and wrote nasty emails afterwards accusing me of being unable to give fulfilling sex to a healthy young woman. What, because I can't pull off maneuvers in bed like a pro-wrestler? Girls who say it does not matter or does not occur to them ARE LIARS. It ALWAYS matters, unless she's just curious or has pity on you or is a nympho or whatever.

But whatever, I'm taking 26 hours of computer classes this semester, 6 hours of automotive service certification, and 3 hours of welding, that's 35 hours/week. I plan to be financially stable and get my own house in a few years, after many years feeling very depressed (another disability, you know). I'll work on computers, autos, whatever. Maybe run a business of some sort, computer consulting or auto customizations or custom designed/built vehicles or electric conversions. Something. Does it matter to girls? Not a damn bit. Independence? Pishaw. Passion for knowledge? Who cares. What's his six pack look like and can he lift me up walk across the room and slam me against the wall with one arm, that's all they want to know.

Nobody pays attention to the fact that this disability of mine also gives me enhanced intelligence, unless they happen to be in my class at school, then I'm suddenly popular, but only for a semester. Girls are just as piggy as men when it comes to seeing body only. It's not all bad. It's just human nature. No reason to deny it. They don't want me for my body, only for my brain. It's just as bad for a man to want a woman only for the body, not her brain. Wanting the entire package as is, that's the healthy balance, and a rule that applies to all. I'm not even going to waste my time on girls who don't get that.
 bbellemore
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 18
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 12/30/2013 4:21:29 PM
I am a 52 year old Man paralyzed from the chest down, I have been considered as good looking, its been 10 years since I have had any sexual contact with a Woman and I love to eat **** and watch a Woman have orgasms after Orgasms. I want to eat some ****!
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 19
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 1/12/2014 4:15:42 AM
Wouldnt have a problem if there was chemistry and WE were of one mind....
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 20
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History
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 1/13/2014 6:26:16 PM
Sex is healthy and natural. In college, as part of occupational therapy (which addresses all areas of self and identifies obstacles in each area), we had many discussions about sex and even needed to learn the best positions for various disabilities (with a handy dandy section in our textbooks with illustrations).

Nothing like brainstorming how to have sex (safely) standing in your walker to get both the creativity and analytic skills going. It went deeper than that, though, in learning what positions put less pressure on what areas to avoid with various physical disabilities/injuries/illnesses, long term or short term, because it's probably not surprising that some people will want to have sex as soon as they get home, stitches and all, even too soon post heart attack. Part of discharge for OT is to discuss sex when someone is leaving rehab. Our professor "made" us talk about it in open discussions through the quarter we had her until she felt we were comfortable, since it's good for the person to BE comfortable talking about it when they address it as part of the profession.

We also had long discussions about sex and mental illnesses. All areas of being human were studied equally.

I think the willingness to have sexual relationships with someone with disabilities depends on many factors: knowledge, comfort, perception, spirituality, the actual physical ability, and more (the other things that are also present or absent in sexual relationships someone without disabilities).

I love the ease when people with disabilities have become comfortable with their sexuality. One client (spinal) , mid 20's, extremely strong in the upper body because he has a chair (and swims, and plays basketball, and will drive as soon as he can get an adapted vehicle financed), and who is very personable commented to me once that when people look at him he just figures they are glancing because he's so good looking. (I had asked him, when people left an elevator we were riding, how he dealt with that everyday). I could honestly say to him that I thought he was he's right, then added after a moment "you know there's a market for guys like you, don't you?" and he just laughed and conceded. Comfort with sexuality, done right, is good. I wish it for all.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 21
Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 1/27/2014 7:32:17 PM
Would if we as adults agreed on any conditions but as for just recreation....no.....I dont play with feelings ....
 dreamyvisions
Joined: 4/1/2011
Msg: 22
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 2/21/2016 11:52:25 PM
I have a disability (im an insomniac sometimes im disoriented for multiple days at a time behind it) it hasnt slowed me down with the opposite sex--i literally joined this site for the forums lol no one believes me when i tell them this lol--its the truth tho. Ive been with two women that had physical disabilities -will admitt their passion in the bedroom was extremely high!!! I doubt people are thinking of making babies when fishing on this site tho
 AdventurinAsian
Joined: 12/19/2015
Msg: 23
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 9/16/2017 12:11:33 AM
Honestly, I dated a guy that did NOT write in his profile that he has a disability and vehemently insisted that he is not disabled EVEN THOUGH HE HAS A LIMP. Due to his lie, I saw him as deceptive and did not trust him afterwards. I believe putting it in your profile will attract the right type of person who is fine with the disability. But maybe detail out the type of disability and what mobility is possible/not possible. The disabled guy I dated could still have sex BUT not when he was on his pills (which made him soft) and he can't have sex in any other position than on his back but he does give great head. In the end I just got so turned off I couldn't get turned on at all. I figured I'd give him a shot since he said he was due to get surgery and get it fixed (within the following month) and I guess lied about that too. BUT he has an ex who loves to have his type of sex since she gets off from it and prefers it. So every person has someone who will be fine with them. Just be honest. I hope this isn't TMI.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 24
well, i'm stumped
Posted: 9/16/2017 4:59:54 PM
Where there is a will, there is a way. Asian, I get what you mean about honesty, except...the guy lied and you dated him anyway and gave him a chance in bed. If he had been upfront, you may not have....so it was better for him to lie, not be denied a chance, and see if things would work or not. Not that i'm defending the behavior, but from a logical standpoint, he was better off not scaring someone off and letting them try things out.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 25
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Sex with a disabled person
Posted: 9/17/2017 6:03:30 PM

insisted that he is not disabled EVEN THOUGH HE HAS A LIMP. Due to his lie

Yeah, but, even if a guy has to take some pain killers due to a limp he has -- like, say, a football player who got injured -- doesn't mean he's actually a Disabled Person. Maybe sexually disabled when on his pain meds, but not properly categorized as a Disabled Person.
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