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Show ALL Forums  > Creative/Writing  > The Awakening      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Exquisite Gentleman
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 1
The Awakening Page 1 of 1    
The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it.
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet
lashes you begin to look at the world through new
eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to
stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or
for happiness, safety and security to come galloping
over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact
that he is not Prince Charming and you are not
Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't
always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that
matter), and that any guarantee of "happily ever
after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense
of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and
that not everyone will always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are and its OK. (They are
entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you
learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found
confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop ****ing and blaming other people for the
things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you
learn that the only thing you can really count on is
the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will
always be there for you, and that it's not always
about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to
take care of yourself and in the process a sense of
safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin
to accept people as they are, and to over look their
shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a
sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself,
and the world around you, is a result of all the
messages and opinions that have been ingrained into
your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the
crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how
you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what
you should wear, where you should shop, what you
should drive, how and where you should live, what you
should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who
you should marry, what you should expect of a
marriage, the importance of having and raising
children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different
points of view. And you begin reassessing and
redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing,
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values
you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to
begin with, and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt
and responsibility, and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the
only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and
that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial
love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to
stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to
project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship. You learn that you will not be more
beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or
important because of the man or woman on your arm or
the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are
and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to
control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn
that just as people grow and change, so it is with
love, and you learn that you don't have the right to
demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy.
And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the
fact that you will never be a perfect 10
and you stop trying to compete with the image inside
your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You
also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside,
smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly
OK. . . and that it is your right to want things that
you want.... and that sometimes it is necessary to make
demands. You come to the realization that you deserve
to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and
respect, and you will not settle for less. And you
allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to
glorify you with his or her touch. and in the process
you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.
You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water,
and taking more time to exercise. You learn that
fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and
fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food
fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take
more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get
what you believe you deserve. and that much of life is
a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything
worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing
for something to happen is different from working
toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn
that in order to achieve success, you need direction,
discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its
OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only
thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of
all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into
and through your fears, because you know that whatever
happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is
to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander
it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn
that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what
you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things
happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these
occasions you learn not to personalize things. You
learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to
answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you
learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the
ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy,
and resentment must be understood and redirected, or
they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the
universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build
bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and
to take comfort in many of the simple things we take
for granted, things that millions of people upon the
earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean
running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself,
by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to
never betray yourself and to never ever settle for
less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind
chime outside your window so you can listen to the
wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by
your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath,
and you begin to design the life you want to live
as best as you can. By Me Paul (2006)
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