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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Women question a man over 50 and not been married?      Home login  
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 enginebuilder55
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 1
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?Page 1 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
I have come to this questions through my dating. Many women question a man over 50 been never married and come to a quick judgement of not even given a chance. Tell me ladies what is so bad about not being married over 50. Many times these men just haven't found the Miss right to live everlasting with. Why is this a turn off?
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 2
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/25/2009 9:10:19 PM
What do you mean you're not getting a chance? How are they getting the question to you? On dates they say this? That IS the chance, dude!

It's not always a turn-off, but if you have no idea how to treat a woman, a woman of 50 ain't gonna be the one to teach ya. I'm too old for that chit, I did my time when I was 25!!
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 3
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/25/2009 10:42:44 PM
Many people believe that a man (or woman) who has never been married, or in a long-term relationship, by the age of 45 or 50, will be so set in their ways that they would not be inclined to accept the quirks and idiosyncrasies that a partner would undoubtedly bring to the relationship. And I'm sure in some cases this is true, but to blatantly paint all middle aged singles with the same brush is unfair and biased.

I am getting to know a man who is 55 and was first married at 50. It only lasted a couple of years and they divorced. Many of the problems they encountered were due to his wife's daughters from a previous marriage. I could be skeptical and wonder about his relationship skills and whether or not, since it was a fairly short marriage, his age played a part in it's demise. I choose not to think that way. I am getting to know him as a person, not as a statistic or stereotype.

Hopefully, you will find a woman who will give you a chance to show her what you have to offer also. Good luck.
 HSV kitty
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 4
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 5:43:30 AM
A man over 50 who has never been married has his reasons. I would recommend asking what those reasons might be. The first questions should be, have you had any long term relationships (and live with) and what do you think ended them. (lack commitment issues?) If he has had long ones, good sign, as then at least he learned how to get along and sleep in a bed with another human. Ask about their employment, enjoyment, what they like about women, do not like. Really get to know as they are going to be set in their ways. (also be careful revealing too much about you at first ...see mirroring below)

If there have been no long term relationships then look for signs they are very selfish. Has he surrounded himself with toys and quirky things you dislike? If so, run run run, as you cannot change another human let alone a bachelor who has made his bed and will attempt to have you share his idiosyncrasies. *goes back in time to take own advice*

A man like that might ensconce himself into your life, literally try to change you to suit his life style but be unable to share life with you and that means you will still be married to a bachelor anyway. They get a cook and maid and you get to live upstairs while he surrounds himself with his 'stuff' in the basement.

Be especially aware of the ones who say they do not want any baggage, as theirs is in a closet bursting to the seams and you may not get to peek in there until they are sure they have mirrored you enough to win you over.

Please keep in mind that I was married to such a bachelor, so have a very different perspective, but I would not paint everyone with the same brush and always give someone with potential a chance.

Well, he asked!!
 lorelei540
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 5
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 5:55:21 AM
OP your profile is short and sweet but doesn't give any hint of a social life. I would ask do you have guy friends who you go out for a drink with? Assuming you have a regular place to go dancing, are you friends with the other people who go there such that you all go out for coffee together afterwards? Do you have old friends from school or work that you still see from time to time? Do you have cookouts with your neighbors? Do you have preferences as to looks or personality etc. based on your previous experience with women? Are you still in touch with any old girlfriends? Do you have any old girlfriends?

Like kitty purrr, I would like to go back in time to take my own advice, but if a man doesn't have a social network and relationship history, then he's been living in his own head for too long to make sharing life with another person a pleasant experience. For him or the other person.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 6
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 6:27:34 AM
If the man is over 45, say, never been married or in any kind of long term relationship, and has no male buddies or friends, and is a loner, THERE IS A REASON (OR MORE), and it is probably not a good one.

But assuming he has lived an otherwise "normal" life (job, friends, interests, no paranoia), I don't see what the problem would be.
 enginebuilder55
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 7
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 6:53:34 AM
The women are more picky then me. I give all the women a chance they seem to be more picky then me. I never turn down a date. Always willing to give every women a chance for one date.
 Landra
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 8
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 11:08:55 AM
Does that mean you've never had a long term relationship?
I have a friend who was with the same woman for 28 years before they ended it-never married. There's a big difference between a man who can't maintain a relationship and a man who's simply chosen not to marry.
 enginebuilder55
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 9
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 11:11:31 AM
I never look for miss right or miss perfect. We all are not perfect and if we were we wouldn't be human! Many time a man like me never got the opportunity to get married. I never question the ladies when they are divorsed. That never in the plan when dating. But the women love to grill me about never married?. I do believe your ideas don't hold water for me . I love people input but none of the reasons as I look at myself was not the problems are are pointing out.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 10
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 12:10:02 PM
Sodturner, this is not just a male thing. I'm a female who has chosen not to marry just for the sake of marrying. I've been too busy establishing myself and my identity in this world, buying and maintaining my own home, enjoying getting to know myself and who I am, travelling, being self-reliant for many of my needs and so on.

Very early on, I chose not to have children just as I chose not to pursue marriage or a relationship. It was a conscience decision and not one borne out of pickiness, selfishness or a myriad of other reasons or excuses that people want to place on those of us that chose a different path than they did.

I look at those that have had failed marriage(s) and/or relationships and ask why they seem to think they are so much better than those of us who seem to know ourselves and consciously take the path we want or know will work best for our lives.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 12
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 2:05:41 PM
Women question a man over 50 who has never been married because if the women want to get married, he is not a good candidate. I suppose this is primarily of interest to women who want to get married.

If a man is not married by then, the odds are that he never will marry.

There are other considerations, though--did he live with anyone in a longterm relationship?
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 13
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 2:17:24 PM
I have no concern if he lived with anyone or had a longterm relationship. I have not lived with anyone, nor had a relationship that lasted several years, as the men either wanted to marry me and I did not want to marry them, or I wanted to marry them and they did not want to marry me, so we both saw that we did not want the same thing and ended the relationships. If a man has lived with several women in longterm relationships I would be very skeptical to become involved with him, as I wonder why he did not marry any of the women. For me, a divorced man is not a better candidate for marriage than a man who has never been married. Everyone has baggage, issues, and a man who had been married several times and has children might possibly have the kind of issues that would not blend with my issues very well. Each person is unique, and I try to get to know each man, as he has his own life story. It just gets so dang annoying that people judge me as worthless and not being able to commit when they learn that I have not been married.
 rickxyz
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 14
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 2:41:18 PM
I'm begining to think women of this site would reject a guy for tying his left shoe first...fckn rediculous...
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 15
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/26/2009 2:51:19 PM
We get rejected for not looking like a supermodel, I think men do their share or more of rejecting women for rediculous things.....
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 16
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/27/2009 1:31:27 PM

I'm begining to think women of this site would reject a guy for tying his left shoe first...fckn rediculous...


^^^*sigh*. Alas, you are right my good man. I think it has something to do with the angle that his arse goes when bent over!! The male butt looks much more provocative when tying the right shoe first!!!
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 17
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/27/2009 3:24:20 PM
No, but I would reject someone who could not spell "ridiculous".......
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 18
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/27/2009 4:47:46 PM
I do not understand at all why a person's not being married by the age of 50 sends up red flags. In my case, I met several men in my adulthood who I thought were Mr. Right, but turned out to be either Mr. Right Now or Mr. No Commitment.

I have had at least 5 longterm relationships; the shortest lasted 2 years and the longest lasted 9 years.

I, for one, find that a man who has been married multiple times often has issues with commitment. Also, the likelihood of him wanting to take that walk up the aisle again is slim to none.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 19
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/28/2009 5:08:40 AM
I would love to find such a man. He would not have an ex wife that he might still love or hate hanging around, he might not have problem children who were grown but still tied to his apron strings, no alimonly or child support to pay, he might be able and ready to commit to me, as he would not have a bad taste in his mouth about women in general since he did not have an ex wife who used and abused him.....he might be free to travel since he did not have children. He has hobbies and interests since he has not spent years being a husband and father and had the time, interest, and money to persue them. He has dated a variety of women and knows exactly what works for him. He did not have a marriage end due to infidelity, and is trying to prove his masculinity by being a player or a player wannabe. I have dated divorced men and single men, and can speak from experience. Seems as if some of the previous posters might be talking off the top of their heads, not from what they have found from being involved with people who have not been married.
 enginebuilder55
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 20
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 2/28/2009 11:52:09 AM
These are great points of views Thank you for replying. I enjoy them all even if they are silly sometimes!
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 21
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 3/1/2009 9:19:15 AM

Would I look like a better catch if I had been married for a year and went through a nasty divorce rather than to have decided to stay single?


Apparently so or it would seem from the responses of those who have tried and were unsuccessful at marriage.

Never mind the fact that those who married and divorced were unable to sustain a commitment. If they were able to make and sustain a comittment then they would not have divorced. Or, were the vows that they took at the time of the marriage merely disposable words that could be thrown out, overlooked or just plain forgotten when the parameters of their marriage started to falter?

Just putting another slant on this topic for the narrow minded who hide behind smoke and mirrors.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 22
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 3/1/2009 9:21:14 AM
Some folks just aren't into marriage or they will wait to the "perfect" one. Too, their childhood could have an impression about marriage. For me, there's far bigger and better things to question a man, than whether or not he's been married. Example: if he's been married more than 3-4 times; or if he has girlfriends every month, he wouldn't be my cup of tea.
 dd3va
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 24
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 3/1/2009 1:31:57 PM
Okay Sodturner, I'll say it. I would venture to say that I am not alone in thinking that when I come across a man that is in his 50's, give or take, and has never been married, that you cannot make a committment. That being said, before the daggers start flying my way, it is not always the case, but that is the first thing that comes to my mind.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 25
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 3/1/2009 1:44:25 PM
That could be the case, but the problem is with the online thing. someone passes him by for not having been married without getting to know him as a person. I think that I am a wise woman for not having committed to marriage with the men who wanted to marry me, as I would have ended up being divorced (but then I would be a lot more marketable). I live in a small town and rarely meet men to date. I have single female friends who have not dated in years, they are not commitment phobes, they just have not found many men to date due to their life situations. If it bothers a woman so much that a man over 50 has not been married, then she does not need to date him, leave home alone so the woman who is thrilled to find a never married middle aged man can find happiness.
 dd3va
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 26
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Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 3/1/2009 2:03:44 PM
First impressions are not always reliable and I was only being honest in that I might think that initially.
 angelheart3
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 27
Women question a man over 50 and not been married?
Posted: 3/1/2009 2:19:37 PM
sodturner,

Whatever a woman's problem is with a man over 50 who never married is her problem, until you make it yours by worrying about it.

The reality is you are over 50 and have never been married. You can't change that. While the posted opinions and experiences are helpful in terms of perspective, what does it change except to maybe make the "search" appear to be more of an exercise in futility?

Stay the course. If someone has a problem with your "status", you know that's not the one for you. Next. If a woman forms a quick judgment without giving you a chance...next. It's a good word when used appropriately. Like weeding a garden.

AH3...........
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