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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?      Home login  
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 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Has anyone ever loved someone that you know you should have married or stayed with but did not? If so, has anyone had the unique experience of seeing that person's profile on a dating site after they were no longer in your life? Try to be objective here: Based on their profile, picture and description, would you have concluded that this person should have been your betrothed one? Remember, you have to approach this as if you never had any type of relationship or contact with them in the past? I have had precisely this type of unique experience and will write about it following a few forum entries from others.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 2
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:03:53 AM
kpooks,

Thank for for your reply and for your complimentary words regarding the my noteworthy and unusual question . I am glad you think it is not the standard fare as my intention is to get people to think. I hope my question will assist them in the same way their answers lead me to greater awareness.

What I am looking for here however are those in the minority who may have stumbled upon a profile of someone they feel they should have been with. While good advice may be noteworthy it is really not sought after for this particular forum topic.

I will attempt to clarify with more specifics. For cyber daters who encountered a profile of someone they once loved and should have stayed with, please describe your impressions of that profile. For example, looking at the photo or photos of the person please describe your initial attraction based only on these imbedded photos. Try not to recall what your former love looked like in real life. Was the photo flattering or not? Was it a striking photo that made an immediate impression on you or was it an unappealing photo? Then read the description and describe how this person may or may not have peaked your interest. Mention what they wrote and how it was written. Was it exciting, descriptive, imaginative, revealing, boring, depressing, insulting, etc? Now concentrate on what they listed as hobbies, interests, philosophies, goals, relationship requirements and what they are looking for in a partner. How did these items compare with the type of person you are and what you were looking for in a mate?

I am really looking forward to reading the contributions and having some exchanges.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 3
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/3/2009 1:50:11 PM
Knights2460,

Thank you for you forum contribution. In your particular case though this was a woman that you should not have married. Still, I will ask the question. Recalling just her profile and assuming you never knew her and can forget the tumultuous relationship you had with her, would her profile alone have sparked enough interest for you to make contact with her?
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 4
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/3/2009 3:23:37 PM
Mermerangle,

I appreciate your participation and candid story. I am only slightly familiar with Facebook but realize it is not a full fledged dating site. If however you read his Facebook page and can imagine never knowing him prior to viewing it, would you have seen him as a potential good match? Was his photo appealing? Did his words and descriptions strike a chord? Would you have glanced right over his profile without a second thought or felt some magic?
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 5
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/4/2009 2:28:11 PM
Alright gang, let's try this again. Just based on her on-line profile picture and picture alone, did you find her appealing and was there something about her image that made you want to initiate contact? Or, was the picture completely unappealing to the point that you were not even curious or remotely attracted?
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 6
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/5/2009 8:44:45 AM
Well, it seems like no one understands the nature of my question so I'll need to elaborate in hopes of extracting some accurate and thoughtful responses. I am attempting to determine if anyone can discover a good match just by looking at a picture or reading a profile. How many times have people dismissed a potentially compatible mate just because a picture was not particularly flattering or the descriptive paragraphs were plain and unimaginative? One way to try and find out is to seek individuals who should have been with someone they should have married, dismissed them and months or years later found their profile on a dating site such as POF. This actually happened to me and I can assuredly admit that if a had not known this woman I would have passed her over based on her picture and profile. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 7
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:14:22 PM
I am not interested in tracking or stalking any ex on POF or any dating site. While it is not relevant here, I'm am 95% sure that my ex is married and has been for a few years. Now back to relevancy: I am trying to weave together some unique experiences that certain participants have had on sites such as these. Those that don't get it, don't get that they don't get it. Someone with a sense of awareness beyond that of a paramecium, please respond.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 8
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/5/2009 8:19:01 PM
Brown Eyed Woman,

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate the personal and emotional story that you have shared. So help me to understand and I realize that you had too much heart-felt attachment to make a non-biased judgement. In your case it sounds as if the picture represented your former loved one accurately. And the words in his profile did not fit the type of man you would want as a partner. I know this is difficult but pretend you never knew him. Just taking the picture into consideration would you say that you were attracted to that particular image on the screen? Now just the text and I think you've answered this but you would never be attracted to the type of man that would be looking just for "fun...no strings". Am I accurate?

Again, thank you. Yours is the closest response to what I was after.
 Lucette325
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 9
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/5/2009 9:41:35 PM
No. But I did see an ex on here I SHOULDN'T have married.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 10
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/7/2009 8:23:21 AM
That is a trait of a real woman of valor, that she is capable of making a man a better man.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 11
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/7/2009 8:39:39 AM
verygreeneyez,

Thank you for a most interesting story. I will admit that only those who have withstood the absence of an ideal mate that they foolishly dismissed could have a remote possibility of understanding the degree of regret. May everyone possess the inherent wisdom not to make such an unfortunate decision.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 12
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/8/2009 12:27:52 PM
Sparks,

Perfectly understandable that viewing an ex's profile would stir up deep seated emotions and I appreciate your participation here. Most of the difficulty in attempting to achieve an answer to my question is that it is very difficult to be objective when one heart is in the way. Still I must ask if the picture and description of your ex was someone you would want to get to know if you never knew her.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 13
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/8/2009 1:04:56 PM
Clambreath,

Here's the story. I discovered an ex's profile on another dating site almost five years ago. As I stated in a prior post which went beyond your comprehension or attention span, she is undoubtedly married because she was engaged four years ago. The incitations with your disruptive posts do not warrant any more explanations about this topic. The next time a pair of your neurons fire simultaneously and you have the urge to grace the civilized with your intellectual prowess and clever wit, click to another forum topic and spray your mark on a more charitable audience.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 14
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/8/2009 7:41:34 PM
Path,

Thanks for your personal story. Think back to when you saw her pictures and/or profile won eHarmony and FaceBook. Imagine that you never knew her previously. Would you have been intrigued enough by what you saw or read to determine that you would be interested in her?
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 15
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/8/2009 7:50:41 PM
Minako79,

The vast majority of contributors to this forum question seemed to be relieved that the relationship ended. I realize I am in the minority here. There are few that have experienced the unique loss and regret associated with letting an exceptional one go. Thank you for your post and your candor.
 JoeinPortsmouth
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 16
Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/10/2009 6:36:47 AM
Married, as in what? Right on with your suggestion to STOP STALKING! Get over it! STOP crying in your beer. The thing so many people fails to accept is that very few people are on these sites are here to meet a keeper. Once you been there done that, immediately delete his/her phone number in your cellie. They have, now it's on to new victims. Everyone re-invents theirself after each breakup. How often I see profiles start out with one picture, then BAM, here come the cleavage shots, the web cam. They quickly discovered how to become a stay at home prositute. These people are pros. Free dinners, free trips, etc. OH! how quickly they learned. There was once a time a lady would have to dress up, go out to a dance maybe to meet a guy. NOT today. MARRIED, get real.
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 17
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/10/2009 3:21:59 PM
Path,

Thank you again. You have squarely hit on what I was looking for. You have the benefit of a very unique and invaluable experience. Based on that insight, what in your view is the biggest disadvantage with meeting a person based on their on-line profile vs. the old fashioned way of face to face?
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 18
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/10/2009 3:51:37 PM
Joe,

I did not understand the point you attempted to get across but I'll defend to the death your right to confuse me. The only concession that I will make in my initial forum post is that the word "married" may be mere semantic. Perhaps it should have read, "Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have stayed with?"
 Listen2hear
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 19
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Ever see an ex on a dating site that you know you should have married?
Posted: 3/10/2009 3:54:50 PM
vrb1955,

OK. Really has nothing to do with this forum topic but you may want to contribute to an entry regarding dating ethics. Perhaps his wife's untimely loss was a very, very recent one.
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