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 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 1
Are real naked women just bad porn?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Do men believe that pornography has made sex with a woman less exciting or more?
Feminist author Naomi Wolf believes that when men get too accustomed to the stylised, air-brushed, pornographic version of sex, "real" women don't stand a chance.
"Today, real naked women are just bad porn," she writes in an essay in New York magazine.
"I'm not advocating a return to the days of hiding female sexuality but I am noting that the power and charge of sex are maintained when there is some sacredness to it, when it is not on tap all the time."
Would men like to see a return to a more subdued kind of woman, or do they welcome an out-there horny and sexually aggressive "porno" type?
Do you think society's wide-spread acceptance of porn leads to disappointment with the real thing?
And are women threatened by porn or do they feel it liberates them from the bad old days of "good girls don't like it"?
 raxarsr
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 2
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:39:29 PM
oh hell no........i for one hate fake boobs and such..........give me a down to earth live woman any day
 Tessie101
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 3
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:43:08 PM
Very interesting topic. I also want to know what the men think of this.
 actualizing
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 4
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:43:39 PM
Well, that is a good question. I believe that porn serves its purpose but it's not real. A real woman can avoid being naked in daylight by keeping a shroud of mystery around her body....lingerie works....naked at twilight works too....naked in daylight for anyone is just bad porn....unless you're not in the mood, in which case it could be good tanning gear. It all depends on who is in the vicinity and whether the sun is shining...if ya know what I mean...
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 5
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:43:47 PM
As exciting as porn fantasies are and porn hotties look, uh, there's something about the real tactile physical sensations of touching and being touched by a real woman that is WAY, WAY more intoxicating than watching any porn.
 1rose4440
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 6
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:45:30 PM
FFS, I don't feel threatened by porn, or should I say the women in porn. I guess if I was with a guy who compared me with the porn stars that might make me feel a little different, naw, not really.

I don't think it liberates me either. I am more sexually liberated, but I think that that's just do to real life experiences and maturity, or lack thereof...and lots of years behind me, being a 'good girl', oh, and I read that a 'good girl is just a bad girl who hasn't been caught'....
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 7
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:54:08 PM
"I am noting that the power and charge of sex are maintained when there is some sacredness to it, when it is not on tap all the time."

This is exactly my point when I talk about sexual mystic.

Just listen to some people you can tell that they are burn out on sex..............

Sex to me is too precious to waste by squandering it.
 Bilskirnir
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 8
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:00:29 PM
Never having met a sexually aggressive woman, I think I would like it.
There is something to be said for more subdued "love-making" with a special partner.
I guess the ideal would to find a lay who who a bit of a tramp.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 9
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:00:32 PM
Feminist author Naomi Wolf believes that when men get too accustomed to the stylised, air-brushed, pornographic version of sex, "real" women don't stand a chance. "Do you think society's wide-spread acceptance of porn leads to disappointment with the real thing?"


Naomi may have something there ..... it would explain a lot , all those sugar plums dancing in their heads ;-) .
 Bilskirnir
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 10
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:02:04 PM

I guess the ideal would to find a lay who who a bit of a tramp

Correction: who is* a bit
 *Don*
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 11
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:05:15 PM

Are real naked women just bad porn?

No. Porn is just unreal bad naked women. Everyone has their view, I suppose, but I don't like porn at all -- none of it -- internet porn, porn flics, strippers, the whole lot. It's predictable, plastic, packaged and frankly, boring. I haven't been aroused by any of it since I was going through puberty. About the only emotion it stirs in me is laughter.

Now give me real sexual relations and making love to a beautiful woman -- that's worth it's weight in gold.

D
 Tessie101
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 12
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:08:40 PM
Nothing wrong with being a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom.
 abby156
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 13
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:17:02 PM
Porn guys are likely air brushed too.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 14
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:53:12 PM
Not to the right man.
 Mizz Demeanor
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 15
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:03:25 PM
As long as we remember that there is Good Nakedand Bad Naked
and that applies to both sexes. Relax, enjoy the moment, be comfortable
in your skin, and we should be OK.
Having said that....some good lighting doesn't hurt....

It's been my experience that the men closer to my age group are just thrilled to
have a loving, willing and happy partner ,and the mundane details of the human body
take on less significance. It's more about the experience than comparing body
parts to some celluloid image.

One of my lovers was mildly interested in porn & we would watch it
occasionally together for a laugh, but we never took it seriously.
Another detested it & wouldn't even consider watching it. Both of them were
fantastic lovers because what we had when we were together transcended
the naked body. Our bodies were just tools to express our pleasure of each other.

A man that considers Porn to be the benchmark for rating his partners wouldn't
have the capacity to keep me interested, let alone get me naked.
It's not that hard to determine which men have an unhealthy association
with porn....they are hardly known for their Subtlety.

~mizz
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 16
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:10:33 PM

As long as we remember that there is Good Nakedand Bad Naked
and that applies to both sexes. Relax, enjoy the moment, be comfortable
in your skin, and we should be OK.
Having said that....some good lighting doesn't hurt....

It's been my experience that the men closer to my age group are just thrilled to
have a loving, willing and happy partner ,and the mundane details of the human body
take on less significance. It's more about the experience than comparing body
parts to some celluloid image.

One of my lovers was mildly interested in porn & we would watch it
occasionally together for a laugh, but we never took it seriously.
Another detested it & wouldn't even consider watching it. Both of them were
fantastic lovers because what we had when we were together transcended
the naked body. Our bodies were just tools to express our pleasure of each other.

A man that considers Porn to be the benchmark for rating his partners wouldn't
have the capacity to keep me interested, let alone get me naked.
It's not that hard to determine which men have an unhealthy association
with porn....they are hardly known for their Subtlety.

~mizz


Beautifully said Mizz Bon Ton .
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 17
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:25:53 PM
For 20 years - I liked my wife (then wife) best for sex.

Wife - pOrn - wife - pOrn - wife pOrn ......... I would always choose my wife.

She changed a great deal over all those years. What was once perky ... was saggy ........ I sill preferred her. She did not change over all (dressed) she was always around 107 pounds (5’2”) ....... but sure was in different places ....... STILL liked her best for sex.

I also stayed about the same 6’2” 185 pounds ..... I am sure I must also sag but ........

NO ONE looks as good undressed as they do dressed ...... well maybe some 20 something gals.

Staying realistic with age ........... anyone ever seen a 50 year old porn queen? ........ ewwwwwwww.

A 50 year old porn queen *the BIG* ewwwwwwwwww ........

So ...... it is almost impossible to compare normal gals (in my case 50-55 yo gals) to a 50 something ex-porn queen.

I saw one at WalMart the other day. She was around 52 I would say (rode hard and put away wet - several times) ...... skin tight pants and had her a pOOl boy ...... they looked STUPID together. But she sure was proud of him lol.

A gal that I would want for a girlfriend ...... will be just right for me. If her bOObs sag ...... so what - she will be my REAL girlfriend.
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 18
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:26:13 PM
it appears that one of the main contributing factors to ED is porn. not to mention all the men who have complexes from not measuring up! same for the women, i suppose, who choose to inject filler into their breasts with lumps and scars underneath. this is today's version of "beauty". porn addiction is a whole other topic. the person, victim to that, will just sit and space out and drool as if s/he was on drugs. but, not all are porn addicts.

i suppose my major issues with porn have to do with the industry and the fact that it is a major source of "employment" for foster care youth, who have not had proper parental love and guidance. working as an advocate, i have seen stuff to break anyone's heart.

the other issue is that this has become a society of porn and vibrators instead of partnership and relationships. that also makes me sad. human sexuality, sensuality, et al is so much more than what a lot of people are settling for and settling into. wouldn't it be great to have full relationships with all of it? how many men even know what tantra yoga is? then again, how can you properly learn that as a single? sure, the dude who sells the course will tell you all about it, but it's a crock (in my opinion).

so, many of us made mistakes. i guess, i'd rather learn from them and try, try again. i do believe there are many men and women who would like to try again. so, the trick is to put blinders on and try to find one another! many things take two. i think this is one of them. call me a conservative. it will be a first! i can take it.

so, actually i think many people look better naked, therefore disagreeing with ron. or maybe i just focus on the good bits! or perhaps we are saying the same thing but from a different starting point. when you truly love someone, they just don't look that saggy, even if they are. after all, both sexes sag, just in different places. also, my guess is that with our age group, the porn will not prevail over real bodies. not sure for the younger ones.
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 20
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 10:46:43 PM
If a real gal, (in her faded glory) knows her real man, (in his faded glory) adores her, for who she is, and the fact that she also adores him...nothing else would matter or should be needed.

Now, go and naturally love away!
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 22
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 11:11:54 PM
I don't know how many times I've heard middle-aged men here say "Of course I'd choose a young, firm body, but I'm a REALIST."
Sorry, but that doesn't sound all that enthusiastic! To me, it sounds as if they know the only way they're going to have sex is if they somehow lower their standards and sleep with women the same age as them. They "settle" for what they can get.
I have no doubt many men can and do love us, flaws and all. But I also have no doubt that this emphasis on the perfect porno female body makes many middle-aged, single women very insecure - to the point where breast lifts/enhancements, tummy tucks - right through to surgery on the labia to make it porno-perfect - is commonplace in our societies.
And it's not just surgery. Anorexia and bulimia are on the rise in women who should know better - middle-aged women who have been sucked in to this over-riding belief that they are sexual rejects if they don't look 20 years younger.
Even our celebrities reflect this. Look at Madonna at 50. Too thin, too botoxed, too made-up. Sophia Loren at the Oscars looked like a terrible store dummy.
I think the easy access to a zillion porn sites on the net has taken away any female mystique and in its place has set up some unreal standards of what sexually attractive women should look like.
 tornado1
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 23
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 11:19:43 PM

naked in daylight for anyone is just bad porn....


Not necessarily, don't knock it til you've tried it.......I remember one time my b/f surprising me when I was sunbathing naked......it was exciting because we could have easily been discovered and the sun felt wonderful on our sweating bodies. We were much more aware of our nakedness, if that makes sense.

OT I'd never had much exposure to porn when I was younger and I'm still not wild about it, but I've learned to accept it can have a place in a relationship. The interesting thing I've noted is that, the two best lovers I ever had, both enjoyed porn. It helped put them in the mood and served as a background for our own lovemaking. Oddly enough, I would say they were both men who truly enjoyed women, real (imperfect) bodies and all!
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 24
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/4/2009 11:24:14 PM
"but they still want to get laid - so they "settle"."

So what do gals do?

(we all already know that many of them do ........ go to www.poolboysRUs)

Don't even ask - how many nice looking 50s something gals - are trolling for 20 year old guys. I know this because, until I stopped looking at profiles (3 years ago) they were blatant in their profile settings ........ 18 to 50.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 26
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/5/2009 12:02:33 AM
the other issue is that this has become a society of porn and vibrators instead of partnership and relationships. that also makes me sad. human sexuality, sensuality, et al is so much more than what a lot of people are settling for and settling into. wouldn't it be great to have full relationships with all of it?


We repeat and repeat saying this Serenity...... but do we have penetration? Not as often as one would like to see it seems. 'Fantasy' sex is just another excuse for the fear/dislike of getting to know someone intimately, the intimacy that occurs in heart and mind.... not in the bedroom. Don't we all know that if the planets and souls align, that the sex is the easiest part of the equation?

This age group we're in is definitely problematic, this is a whole new world, we are more detached, one human being from another as ever before. Busy lives, lack of time, troubled economy, worry about our retirements.... we have become more and more mentally and emotionally isolated (or why would we be here?). The old virtues don't seem to apply that we were raised with, and we have been thrown into a new status quo where all those values of respect, consideration, empathy, tolerance and what used to be considered common decency seem to have become superfluous between men and women.... doubly so out here in cyber space. Now Instant Gratification, the new designer drug.

If you consider the practicality of the situation.....basically TIME and how much we have left of it and how to Optimize it. You do wonder why people fight so hard to avoid what is best for them.... loving, supportive, respectful relationships, at our age we should know how to make that happen now shouldn't we??? As we've all read in other threads of folks that have had a brush with their own mortalities, illnesses and disabilities....life as we knew in our youth is finite and what the human animal needs for mental and physical health is belonging and being with the ones we love. It's been statistically proven that connected people live longer and are happier.... isolation and loneliness draws depression, addiction and even suicide.

And my practical side says, that this leads to a logical solution..... choose to belong lovingly open and curious with another infinitely complex and loving person.
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 27
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/5/2009 12:29:40 AM
I think you're spot-on, Rusty. Porn offers the perfect excuse for avoiding intimacy.
If she/he isn't "hot" enough, goodbye. Who needs a man? I've got a vibrator. Who needs a woman? I've got porn sites.
But, at the end of the day, these choices leave people isolated and alone. And miserable and disgruntled. But they don't understand why. So they blame the opposite sex, blame their looks, blame their age - blame everyone and everything rather than examine why they are still alone and lonely.
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 28
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Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/5/2009 12:39:51 AM
your latter sentence pegged it rusty. to find that person, i think you need to become involved in real life communities where people are searching for same. i'm sure there are many here, but how would one know, let alone find someone "accessible" or "willing to travel" . of course many travel and do not match reality with their fantasies. but, that being said, i have two female e-buddies who met their men from far away on pof, one travelling over the ocean. rune, are you listening? wooby are you there?

as to the assumption regarding porn and ED above, the issue is not the boredom. it's the getting used to one's "hand". younger women have that and now older men have that. there is no timing or allowing something to build up mentally, emotionally and physically. it's just a boring, no thought quickie--no sensuality really, just a body function, done efficiently and with little energy, no engaging of all the chakras, nothing heartfelt. that is why some of us say that the brain is really the larger sexual organ. many say to "open one's heart" but few are able to truly do that-- without risking or going beyond their own egos.

OP, as to what you are saying about men and porn and women and porn. i know many, many men who are just not that obsessed with porn. after a while, it's boring to them. however, i also know many men who have "given up", as i am sure have many women. their hormones and immediate gratification needs are not on the surface. they could be awakened, but they just cannot handle what they perceive as the inevitable defeat. often, many are just plain "depressed", don't have the gumption anymore, tired. i think that men, just like many women, need hormone replacement, not viagra or porn.

we women, on the other hand, who are hanging onto our sexuality and even first coming to grips with it in the older years, i agree, are confronted with youth as our role models. i know i do my best to look "youthful". but, not sure i would cut my breasts open and fill them with stuffing, not to mention deadening the feeling in the nipple. to me, that is as frightening as castration would be to a man. however, if i were very large and sagging, maybe i would feel different or feel the same and do some "tucking" anyways. it's like saying if your airplane crashed, would you eat a dead person? who the hell knows?

i figure, for once i got a break! flat chested women get to have normal boobs as they age. they just have to wait a good thirty to forty years! plus, having adopted, i never breast fed. so, it's hard for me to imagine, but i would like to think that i wouldn't want to cut into my sexual organs unless very, very ghastly. again, the whole thing is sad and i wish there was some "mystique" left to romance. so, in the interim, i think what rusty has expressed pretty much verbalizes my thoughts, intentions, goals and where i choose to "hang out". the forums for me, are a way of thinking out loud and sorting out the details of it all.
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