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 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 1
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Are we friends? Or more?Page 1 of 1    
OK, so I met this girl on POF about 2 1/2 months ago - we chatted for a few weeks over Xmas and then finally met for coffee the first week of January. We had 5 really great dates, we got along super well and then she canceled our 6th date, saying she wasn't feeling well etc. So we rescheduled for the next weekend. Then she calls me up and says that she's been thinking and she just wants to be friends, because we get along so well and always have a blast together.

During the time we were dating we emailed, texted etc all the time and it would usually get around to me asking when I'll get to see her again. I really liked her, I told her this and just wanted to know where we stood. She replies that she likes to take it really slow getting to know a guy, and finds that guys are usually sort of clingy. (I think we'd seen each other about once a week or so during the time that we were dating - I don't consider that clingy, but that's a tangent I guess). She says that she takes it slow because she has committment issues and doesn't want to freak out....then bam, she calls a couple of days later and says the "friends" word.

Fast forward a few weeks - we hadn't seen each other for I think 3 weeks and meet for coffee. Go back to her place, hang out for a bit and before you know it, we're making out. It's getting late, so she calls it a night and before I go she says that she doesn't want to lead me on....then kisses me good bye and grabs my ass. "Ok" I think to myself, "what's the deal?"

The next weekend we hang out all day, again ending up making out on her couch - this time she doesn't say anything confusing about leading me on, or maybe we shouldn't do this etc, etc.

We don't talk, text etc as much anymore, and she knows I'm dating another girl, nothing serious, and I don't think she's dating anyone in particular. I don't know - I'm confused - does she just want to be friends, or is this her way of making me take it slower and give her her space and letting her decide about me? I really like this girl and want to talk to her about it, but after the last conversation we had, it seems like I sacred her off a bit, and don't want to do the same. So I know you're all going to say take it slow, see where it goes, and I'm cool with that.

But I just need to know if you think she's into me because I'm kind of confused.
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 2
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Are we friends? Or more?
Posted: 3/10/2009 10:12:07 PM
Well if she reads this, I guess it forces the issue and I'll know my answer sooner rather than later.
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 4
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Are we friends? Or more?
Posted: 3/10/2009 11:26:37 PM
I guess another question I could ask is have you ever found yourself in a situation like hers and how did it turn out?
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 5
Are we friends? Or more?
Posted: 3/10/2009 11:39:26 PM
To answer your last question first I'd say she missed the attention of a guy she could easily manipulate Since you started seeing another woman it gave her a chance to test your level of attraction for the 'other' woman and you ran back to her...just what she wanted which was a healthy ego boost. What did you get out of it?
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 6
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Posted: 3/11/2009 9:58:46 AM
OK, thanks everyone. It seems pretty clear that most of you agree with my initial instinct on this one - move on to other people who can make up their mind and want to be with me.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 7
Are we friends? Or more?
Posted: 3/11/2009 11:01:04 AM
Fast forward a few weeks - we hadn't seen each other for I think 3 weeks and meet for coffee. Go back to her place, hang out for a bit and before you know it, we're making out. It's getting late, so she calls it a night and before I go she says that she doesn't want to lead me on....then kisses me good bye and grabs my ass. "Ok" I think to myself, "what's the deal?"

At this point, I would have questioned the contrast between what was said and what happened....I'd have asked her what her definition of "friend" is. It clearly doesn't match yours...why say nothing? JMHO.
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 8
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Are we friends? Or more?
Posted: 3/11/2009 11:08:31 AM
Sounds like she's more confused than you are.
If she's in her 20s.... that's normal for a girl that age.
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