Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > WTF!!!! Why bother??      Home login  
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 1
WTF!!!! Why bother??Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
OMG.... I just need to vent, please dont rip me a new one for this but for the love of pete are there any decent guys on POF or is this just a waste of time?? The last 3 people I've met were so freaking weird I'm wondering if that is all that is on here or if it is me attracting them. I never meet anyone unless I've chatted with them online AND on the phone for a while and wouldn't agree to meet unless they seem nice and safe but the last 3 people I have met completely fooled me and were nothing in person like they were on the phone!!

The first had no teeth, and I dont mean no teeth really, I mean nubs that looked like raisins and all of his fingernails were bleeding.... He carried on a wonderful conversation with my breasts until I couldn't stand it anymore and I told him that I had to leave.

The second who was supposed to be 41, turns out he was 52, told some of the most revolting sexist and racist jokes I have ever heard in my life then informed me that he would be willing to pay &75.00 for a p.o.a....

This last one, rather than go to breakfast as planned wanted to know if we could "stop and get some beers first"... at 8:00 in the MORNING... then wanted to make a "bet" that would get him laid if he "won the bet"

Is that all there is on here or is it just me that attracts this sort of man??? What ever happened to men that treated women like ladies? Where are all the men with a little bit of class, who look and act normal???

Has anyone met someone on here that they had good things to say about??
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 2
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:49:58 PM
WOW - tough luck there!

Hang in there - there's many nice guys on-line! You just have to kiss many frogs to find the princes!
 Kaptain Obvious
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 3
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:51:01 PM
I've been to Valdosta many times....... I think you should MOVE.......... But then again, the competition is directly proportionate to the location........
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 4
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:52:13 PM
Tell us some of the jokes.
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 5
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:54:19 PM
Sugar, they were so rude and obnoxious.... If I repeated even just one of his jokes, I am sure it would offend nearly everyone on here!!!
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 6
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:56:39 PM
the crap comes in all shapes and sizes here ...just prepare yourself!!
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 7
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:56:59 PM
Sorry to hear that. Hopefully, you met in a public place so that you could simply get up and leave. When dating, I had a similar experience with 3 of the first 4 dates I had from online dating. The first two, I felt I was being "nice" by sitting through lunch and then simply sending them a note afterward that I just didn't feel any spark. When the third one rolled around, I simply couldn't take it again and said, as tactfully as I could, that I felt that she had misrepresented herself and I left.

And then I met the person that I have been with for 17 months now.

So, it is possible. It's also unfortunate and sad that so many people feel they just can't be who they really are. I mean, why waste the energy? Do people who lie about themselves REALLY believe that once you meet them in person that they will be so ________ (whatever) that they will win you over in the end? I have never understood it.
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:58:16 PM
Dont get discouraged......i've met just about every pervert on POF.......if that makes you feel any better.....oh wait....i've also met the ones that are alot older and heavier then their pic..... ( but they are athletic).....ummmm...i've met the ones that want me to be their next wife after the first believe me....its not just you......
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 9
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:59:15 PM

Sugar, they were so rude and obnoxious.... If I repeated even just one of his jokes, I am sure it would offend nearly everyone on here!!!

Those are the best kinds to tell/listen to.

Be thankful you found out what these people were like right off the get go. I once dated a chick from here and we went to Mexico and I caught her making out with some dude on a dance floor the first full day of the trip. It was like being trapped on an island and not being able to go home.

I think you got off lucky.
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 10
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:01:40 PM
Krookie, I am so happy for you, its nice to know it isn't all bad and I totally agree why bother being fake until you meet?? and absolutely, I would never agree to meet unless it is in a public place....

Best of luck to you!!
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 11
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:22:04 PM

Has anyone met someone on here that they had good things to say about??

I have. I haven't met anyone who was a good match, but I've never met anyone who sounds even remotely like the men you've described! The few men I've met so far have been pretty much how they described themselves online. I think my BS-meter is pretty finely tuned though (or maybe I'm just a cynic), so I pick up on the creepy stuff via email early on, and it doesn't go any farther than that.
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 12
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:28:40 PM
That's too bad you had those experiences. I have met at least one really good friend from here. I really hope things go better for you...
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 13
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:48:58 PM
I love these kind of threads, they are such a giggle! I am sorry for your bad experiences, chin up and better luck next time!
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 14
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:50:16 PM
Ahhh LaurieMarie, unfortunately in the world of internet dating, as in the real world, 'you pays yer money, and you takes yer chances!'

No matter how good your filter is and how vigilant you are, the occasional conniving dropkick slips through the net.

I admit I haven't had quite the unpleasant dates you've mentioned, but I did meet one lady (from another site I hasten to add) who told me she had a personal trainer, listed all of these activities she did, lived up the Central Coast of NSW, so I thought she'd be great to meet. Well, she was 30 minutes late for our coffee for a start, and she was HUGE! 5' 4" and the same as wide, a big cold sore under her lip ('I don't normally get pimples!'), reeking of cheap perfume and explaining her rolls of fat away by telling me she injured her foot running on the beach a month ago.

She had no picture on her profile and texted me an old head-shot on her phone.

I felt totally embarrassed to be in her company. I was still gracious and had coffee with her for an hour.

She spent most of that time telling me what a deadbeat her former husband was.

So no luck there, which is why it's always better to meet sooner, rather than later. Endless emails and even phone calls create false intimacy, you can only guage chemistry face-to-face, no matter how painful it turns out to be.

I've also met some great ladies, no love match, but friends just the same. The filter works more often than it fails.
Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 15
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:01:53 PM
I can empathize with you, OP. It can be tough when you try to get excited about a date, and then the date turns out badly. I have done that many times, and it gets old. It can make one want to stop dating. The way I've handled it is not to get too excited about any date, take breaks when I get tired of dating and remember I have a good life otherwise.
 Annie was here
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 16
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:07:39 PM
Listen hun I know you are feeling pretty low right now and discouraged but you can't put all men in the same boat together. Yes there are some less then desirable people out there, but not everyone is like that. Just try and keep first dates short so you are not obligated to spend to much time with someone you have just met.
 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 17
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:17:17 PM
I've been fortunate at meeting nice guys. We just did not click romantically.

There was one guy I met last week that was anything but Prince Charming. I'll just leave it at that.

I see every date as an adventure and don't go in expecting the world. Worse case scenario is I have a story to tell people.
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 18
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:19:47 PM
Sounds like you are on a roll......i guess it comes down to be honest from the start on these things.I am and i guess is why i dont get replies or go out on dates.
Im happy to just chat with people online here from anywhere(yes even os),but some people dont even want to do that..their lose.
 Orphan girl
Joined: 12/11/2008
Msg: 19
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:44:24 PM
I kind of don't understand why you didn't have more insight before meeting them.
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 20
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:47:45 PM
You can only have as much "insight" as people are willing to allow you to see.... I just dont understand why people feel the need to be fake online or on the phone then when you meet them, they are completely different...
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 21
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:48:12 PM

I've chatted with them online AND on the phone for a while
can you define "a while"? I'm curious -- how did they manage to present a completely different image of themselves? How long did they keep up the charade?
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 22
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:56:38 PM
Since this is a free site, that ANYONE can join, you have to expect to run across all types of people. That means it's up to YOU to sift through the riff raff. Some of these stories are TOO funny, but I guess you're a little close to the situation to find it amusing. I met my current boyfriend online, though not on this site. Prior to that, I did meet a few people from here that were nice enough, just no sparks. The key is to be a little more discriminating. If you spend a little more time talking online before meeting, those personality "quirks" do tend to show themselves. And it has alot to do with how you interact with them as well. Sometimes that "harmless" sexual innuendo in a brief chat leaves an impression in a guy's mind that you might be receptive to sexual advances IRL. That's really not appropriate with someone you know nothing about anyway. Those things should only come into the picture after a great you have become pretty familiar with the other person, and there is some level of compatibility. I know there were times when I was accused of being a prude or whatever for cutting that kind of chat off immediately. Nothing could be further from the truth, but it's not something I share with just anyone. Anyone that gets pissy about it is giving you a pretty clear sign of what their agenda is. A guy that wants to get to know YOU as a person won't have any problem waiting until you feel comfortable with it. (And he'll have a lot more respect for you because he will know you don't just toss that around blindly.) Also, if you do meet someone, and it's evident that they were not honest in their profile and conversation, you are under no obligation to spend one second in their company. I understand that it's pretty impolite to just walk out, but on the other hand, it's pretty impolite to misrepresent yourself and waste another person's time, wouldn't you agree? I don't know you, or how you interact, so I'm definately not criticizing you, just offering some thoughts as to why this might be happening.
Why bother? It's like the lottery can't win if you don't play. My advice is spend a little more time talking before meeting, and use that time to learn as much as possible about the other person, as opposed to idle chit chat. And when you do meet, if something makesyou uncomfortable, trust your instincts and LEAVE the moment you feel that "ick factor". You are under NO OBLIGATION to spend even five minutes in the company of douchebags.
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 23
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:07:24 PM
Oh I totally agree and quite frankly I think I give the impression of being a "prude" more often than not (even though I am not a prude, just cautious) so I am sure it isn't me giving the idea that it is ok.... I chatted with all three of these men for about a month or so before meeting any of them.... I've had people tell me that I am being too picky and taking things too seriously when an inappropriate comment is made but in my day (which really wasn't soo long ago) a decent guy wouldn't make some of the comments that guy #2 and #3 made....

Still, I dont want to chat with someone for months and months before we meet, I did that once and the guy got really attatched to me and then when we met and we didn't click, we were both disappointed. Again, I'm wondering are there THAT many weirdo's out there??? Gosh, 3 out of 3 is pretty bad!!!
 Herding Cats
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 24
view profile
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:11:50 PM

Gosh, 3 out of 3 is pretty bad!!!

That is pretty bad... It's made me nervous now because I haven't actually met ANY weirdos here...

Crap. The law of averages is working against me. The next one will probably be a mule riding nose picker with body odor commercially sold as insect repellent.
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 25
WTF!!!! Why bother??
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:17:30 PM
Heck, Herding Cats.... a mule riding, nose picker with body odor commercially sold as insect repellent would have made these three seem like prince charming!!! lol

Especially #2, no wait #3..... Ummm, #1.... No number #2 definitely!!!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > WTF!!!! Why bother??