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Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 1
Not having any luck...Page 1 of 1    
I've been on this site for awhile now and have yet to generate even a single message in response to one of he hundred messages I've sent. I filled out a lengthy profile, posted pics, and have approached many different women. I've never had a single message in my inbox. Anyone have any hints on what I might be doing wrong that I'm not being noticed? (This is not an attempt at pity. I just want feedback. Perhaps I may be approaching things the wrong way. This post was moved from another forum, so I'm NOT spamming.)
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 2
view profile
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:39:07 AM
You need new pictures, the ones you have are a bit scary. Pictures from Halloween are never a good choice for a profile.

Number 1 biggest rule, do not talk about past relationships in your profile. Also...take out the massage thing.
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 3
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:51:25 AM
I'm a very open-minded and adventurous person. I'm willing to try anything once. I really like artsy people, because although I've lost some of that in myself over the last few years, I still enjoy that lifestyle. I also enjoy the gothic lifestyle, I spent my entire life neck deep in it. Blame my ex-wife and father-in-law for the fact that I've had to tone it down a little to fit in with the 'working world'. I still wear my band t-shirts, from time to time.

Bad opening on alot of levels. Your opening is one of the most important parts of your page.

I spent many of my younger years being picked on, beat up, teased, harassed, (and any other such term you could fit into that category) by both my peers AND my own family, so my self esteem is damaged. I've made a lot of progress in bringing myself back from that, but I still find myself wary of people, and I still get hurt easily when teased or pushed around. Though I've learned much from my experiences. I've become a better person for my trials, and nothing anyone does can easily hurt me anymore. That which doesn't kill me only makes me a stronger better person.

This has got to go.

Two things important to me are honesty and open-mindedness. If you find that those aren't traits that you'd describe yourself as, we probably wouldn't get along. I've been played with before by people who were dishonest, and I'd rather not put myself through that again. As for open-mindedness, without that, a person wouldn't really understand who I really am or why I act the way I do.

It had a negative undertone to it. Consider getting rid of this too

I'm recently unemployed, thanks to the downfall of the economy. I worked for the new MGM Grand casino in CT for 6 months before they laid me off in October. And I haven't been able to find work since due to the horrible unemployment levels. Soon after my lay off, my ex-wife (divorce pending) and I split up. This was mutual and it is an amicable split. We don't blame each other at all. We just didnt fit right.

I'm not so sure about this one, I would get a lady to speak on this. They would be a better judge of this.

I'm really good with physical contact... Massages, rubs and such are my specialty... (This is by NO MEANS sexual.) I have found that physical contact can often do wonders to lower stress levels, ease emotional breaks, promote better health, and form tighter bonds between people.

There is no way to say this, even if what you say is true. So the best thing to do is drop it, save it for when you find someone or form a repoire with them. It screams all kinds of things that are not so good.

I'm good with electronics. I went to school for two years to learn how to repair electronics, and I've grown to be very good with computers. I give good advice as well, though I can never take my own... I speak well and I can converse about just about any topic... I'm a great listener... I try to be good at whatever i do... Not for gain, for personal fulfillment... I also find myself good at making good mixes for friends on CDs.... just a strange talent, i guess...

I also have become very good with anything surrounding the field of Music. Instruments, stereo equipment, CDs/cassettes/vinyls, singing and karaoke are all second nature to me. I'm very bizarre like that, but I'd rather spend my night at a karaoke bar or in a studio than at home sometimes. When I'm home I always have either my radio on, a CD playing, or my iTunes playing. Anything to be around music.

Everything starts with I! You have the right idea and good info, but you frame it all with 'I's' It makes it clunky, stop and go and hard to read/follow. Re-think how you present this and work around some of them 'I's'.

To list some of my favorite things:

Books: Dante's Inferno, Iliad, Odyssey, any of the Greek classics and anything Edgar Allan Poe.

Movies: anything Anime, Tim Burton, Princess Bride, Hitchhiker's Guide, Kevin Smith, Mel Brooks or any kind of old school horror films (the new stuff is too watered down). I also find myself liking the movies based on old Greek or Roman stories, like Troy, the Odyssey, or Beowulf...

Music: Techno, Metal, Industrial, Reggae, Country, Classic Rock, Nu Rock, Emo, Oldies, and OLD Punk (in other words, just about everything and anything). I'll list a few of my fave bands/singers, too:

Alice Cooper, Eric Clapton, Ozzy Osbourne, Apocalyptica, Rammstein, Samael, Depeche Mode, Mushroomhead, Gorillaz, Mindless Self Indulgence, Coal Chamber, Disturbed, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Derek Trucks, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Three Days Grace, She Wants Revenge, Mudvayne, HellYeah, Stonesour, Trace Adkins, Tracy Lawrence, Travis Tritt, Tim McGraw, etc. (I could sit here adding to this list all day if I really wanted to.)

Food: Anything that tastes good. I hate most veggies, but anything tastes good if cooked right. I love to cook. (That's right ladies, I'm a nice guy who is good at massages AND I can cook.) It's fun coming up with new and different things to try and see what everyone likes.

Once again very hard to read and quite uneeded in this style. Guys from every corner of the earth proclaim to be great cooks. you have joined the multitudes with the food section. Save it for when you find someone or be creative with it. There are umpteen men who proclaim this and they all pretty much frame it the sameway.

Depeche mode, ozzy and travis tritt. You got some wide ranges there! Just had to add that! =0)

First DateI really don't know exactly what I could say here. As gentlemanly courtesy, I let the girl choose the goings on for the first date. I bring the girl wherever she wants to go, whether it be dinner, a movie, a late night quiet walk somewhere, etc. I'm normally in the habit of picking up 100% of the tab for the night, but I recently find myself in a financial crisis, therefore the check is usually split evenly now, as much as I hate it.

This is really, really bad. Youa sk her out and then expecct her to come up with what you wanna do? Come on bro! Your a man, present yourself as one. It is screaming all kinds of things you don't want to be screaming. This has got to go!

Hundreds of messages? A read/delete is a good indication you are emailing the wrong people. With your page set up the way it is and your pictures you have narrowed the gap in who you will appeal too.
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 4
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:52:53 AM
Only one of the pics is from Halloween, and thats the one with the face paint. The mask is because I was the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera. People who get scared by my pictures, I consider weak minded. I have a bold and crazy personality and if you can't handle my pictures, you can't handle me. I agree with the relationships and massage thing. I'll remove that. In hindsight, I may have come off as creepy.

Just remember, Marilyn once said "Those who can't handle me at my worst, don't deserve my best." I am a firm believer of that statement.
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 5
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:57:35 AM
Damn, Lion... How long were you working on that one??? Thanks for the critique. I appreciate it. You made a LOT of good points. (The pics have to stay because I have no others. Not exactly an "in front of the camera" person. I prefer being behind it.)
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 6
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 9:10:19 AM
Took me longer to read bro! =)

If you are gonna go with the long page approach you have to keep it moving, once you lose the flow of it you have lost the reader. IMO the best approach is to go with short to medium and give a snapshot, You want them to want more, so to speak. You want to talk about yourself~without talking about yourself

The long pages tend to be either

A) A long, wordy tribute to themselves, written for themselves about themselves. And they always start with 'I' or the writer tries to justify everything about themselves. Which leads to a road you should not wanna take your reader.

B) They are just detail people. They like detail, they breath details and they show it. They can keep the reader reading and the flow is right. Very rare though! Most fall into the A category.

Work on them pictures! they are number 1 if you want success.

Good Luck!
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 7
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 9:21:19 AM
I can agree to that in some ways, Anteros. I know I personally give consideration to anyone who crosses my way. I've yet to get any messages, but I'll give anyone who messages me the time of day. Since they took their time to message me, they at least deserve a reply.

I've changed a few things on my profile. Improved?
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 8
view profile
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:59:37 AM

The pics have to stay because I have no others.

Get a friend with a digital camera to help you get some good photos. Take lots so you can choose just the best ones for your profile.
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 9
view profile
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 11:40:38 AM
Good job patching up your profile. Almost everything in your original version was so negative.

Dude your pics are holding you down. They're just creepy. The halloween pic is not necessary. You don't look like that all the time do you? It isn't showing anything except you had face paint. I'm not downing the gothic lifestyle but I'm pretty sure you don't want a chick that is interested in you from your halloween pic. The second pic reminds me of the joker in batman. It's not exactly a pic I see turning anyone on.

Fix your date section. I know this is already mentioned but it's a weak spot still.

There's something to be said for portraying your true self but everyone has the bad pics or things you don't run with as your advertising traits.

Good luck!
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 12:48:23 PM

Read my profile for advice on the ... *lack of photos*...

you also include a bunch of random adjectives... and even realize how silly it is...

" I like honest people.. and dont like people who lie (who does)"

Random adjectives are not needed in a profile. Saying things like im funny and like to laugh is just pointless. Who DOESNT like to laugh, travel and likes smart people? Ive never seen a profile where someone is looking for a dumb unfunny person who doesn't like to laugh, so why waste valuable telling me about you space with this kind of drivel?

Tell me about you .. paragraph one... tell me about your interests... paragraph two... and tell me about what your looking for in a girl.. paragraph 3..
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 11
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:18:24 PM
with age restriction set at 18-50, do you really want to imply you are cougar bait? lf it were me, l'd remove the age restriction totally since you aren't really restricting anyone. l think it might be a red flag toward women your own age...that sex is what you really want.
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 12
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:17:58 PM
Lion_of_Ireland made a lot of great points.

Listen to him.
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 13
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/2/2009 8:54:39 AM
Thanks, everyone. I'll take everything into consideration as I make changes. Realy... Who ever thought making a profile could be such a chore? Meh. Maybe it'll be worth it in the end. I DO see a few spots that I'd like to change. And the "creepy" pics will go, as pathertic as I think that whole mess is. (I've said before that people who find my pics creepy are just weak minded and wouldn't be able to handle me anyway.) I have a few others lying around that are horribly done, but still worth putting up.
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 14
Not having any luck...
Posted: 4/3/2009 7:57:58 AM
I've changed a few more things and have added some new photos, and taken down the "creepy" pictures. (I still think thats a bit weak, but if everyone thinks it will help me get some attention, than I'll change what I have to.) Any thoughts on the new profile?
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