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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > The "just be yourself" advice      Home login  
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 NoQuarterGiven
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 1
The "just be yourself" advicePage 1 of 1    
I consider myself a good guy, but honestly, I couldn't get a date if half the guys on the planet were suddently castrated. I'm not sure why, I'm not very outgoing, so that's probably it.

Should a guy like me "just be himself" or seek some way to change who I am?
 NoQuarterGiven
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 2
The just be yourself advice
Posted: 4/5/2009 8:45:07 AM
I don't actually. On one hand you have people saying you have to love yourself and all this then you have these self-help books and David De'Angelo telling me I should be "cocky and funny". I honestly don't know what to be anymore. Part of me thinks it's all about "faking it until you make it". In other words, pretend to be something you're not until you are that person. But that seems dishonest. So I'm lost.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 3
The just be yourself advice
Posted: 4/5/2009 12:38:53 PM
Wanna test out the theory?

Kiddin.

As trite and stupid as it sounds.. be yourself. Who the hell else would you be? What are the options?

Mindset is a big deal too though.. if you've convinced yourself you can't get a date, then you probably won't.

All these people writing books and giving out advice in them are trying to make a living. They have THEIR financial interests at heart.. and none whatsoever in your dating life.
 EverlongLimit
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 4
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The just be yourself advice
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:35:20 PM
Be yourself but be confident and be comfortable with your environment. If you see someone you like, approach them with thought and care. I like your question, OP, I was wondering the same thing but I defaulted on just ignoring David D. and others.
 kinski02
Joined: 3/12/2009
Msg: 5
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The just be yourself advice
Posted: 4/5/2009 2:04:09 PM
yeah good question. I have been wondering about the same thing in the past.
When I was using "dating how to advice" I attracted the wrong girls sometimes.
Cause I was acting.
I guess the challenge is to be really 100% yourself. really there in the moment. having fun.
to not want approval. thats where the "cocky funny" stuff is going in the right direction.
so as a mindset it can be useful.. (it's got the word fun in it)

A lot of guys seem to think that being yourself is being needy and nervous though..
gotta be equal status at least.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 6
The just be yourself advice
Posted: 4/5/2009 3:34:00 PM
^^

The premise that a guy isn't already valuable to women seems pretty nasty to me.
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