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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?      Home login  
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 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 2
what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Oh this should be good since I'm in the same boat as far as just hitting that magic age.

At this time I will keep my thoughts on a 40ish man and what camps he falls in. I will let others chime in before I give my opinion.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 3
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/5/2009 11:15:17 AM
Well OP........your profile speaks volumes and I think you should reconsider much of what you have there, and maybe rethink what you want and are looking for.

I find it very telling with your comments about finding men your age, yet you list your age requirements as accepting men 15 years younger than you are and only five years older...........which says much about you and your thought process.

You prefer not to tell others if you have children, yet most men in their 40's more than likely will have children, and would like to know if you do as well, and your position on children and families overall.

You list as activities.......fun.......cuddling......and things of that nature, but nothing about what you do when not laying or sleeping with another........do you get my drift here about wanting and finding available single men to date that are in their 40's as well?

Finding others becomes an attitude about yourself, and those you might be interested in knowing better. Why limit your age to only a few years older than your age, but willing to date someone almost young enough to be your son?

It seems much more plausible for all of us to either not put an age limit in our selection process, or have it be equal on both sides of our age.

It also is paramount to show much more of who and what we are, and what we are looking for in others that might be interested. What you do when not working is as important as what you do for while working, and how you feel about children and family will either draw others to you, or send them away because your attitude and thoughts are so different from theirs.

I will tell you right now, that there are many of us 40 and over who are single, available, and wanting to date, but only if the results are worth the effort to start with, and that there is a good chance that we just might relate to each other on multiple levels.

Just my opinion.......
 SamuraiPixie
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 18
what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/8/2009 11:39:01 PM
No most of them just care about the VISA... then they come to America, make some new friends, and learn HALF... are you kidding me with this??? This rap was funny when Eddie Murphy did it in his RAW show, but beyond that, not so much. Materialism is not just within the purview of the Western world, and frankly, there is nothing wrong with having a good life, and nice things, if you can afford to have them, that's why most of us work our back ends off, so we can provide our families with the good things in life, like a nice home, a good education, and so on so forth. My family busted their chops so I would want for nothing growing up, and now I'm in a position where I can take care of them, and the torch has been passed on to me, to make sure my children, when I have them, have everything that I had and then some. Sadly, being economically stable is a part of life, and everything costs money, whether you are a foreigner or a Westerner, likewise, so is being poverty stricken for way too many people, again regardless of whether you a foreigner or a Westerner. There are just as many women gold diggers out there as there are guys, and trust me where on the planet they were born is irrelevant. Having a career or at the very least a steady job, and some security in the bank and wanting for your partner to contribute to that if you are in that kind of a relationship with someone, is called being a responsible, accountable, normal adult who does not live in mom's basement, and still expects mom to do his laundry on the weekends and pay for the deposit fee on the kegger and provide the pizza rolls for the Nintendo night with the guys.

S.
 SamuraiPixie
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 21
what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/9/2009 2:52:20 PM
LOOKING - very well said, very eloquent, and very sincere, two thumbs up...
Suz aka Sami
 Cogie36
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 22
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/9/2009 3:01:39 PM
The men in their 40s are looking for women in their 20s and 30s.....

sad but true!!!!!
 msbstn08
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 26
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/11/2009 10:48:47 PM
Hi OP...Let me start by saying u are A) Independent, B)Successful, C)Self sufficient, D) a Nurse, who BTW is the #1 respected professional in the US. U definitely have a lot to offer a man, but he has to be respectful and insightful of what u give of yourself everyday.Being a nurse of many years myself, I can feel for your predicament. Most people in general have no idea what it is like to be constantly giving of yourself.And if i are like me, and I suspect u are...that carries on outside your work place. Once a nurse, always a nurse, we cant stop giving. So sometimes we have to slow down on the nurturing and caring for others and relocate that focus on ourselves. Give to u, what u give to others every day.Continue to exude that self confidence and and honesty and u will eventually find the one that is deserving of u..Hang in there
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 30
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:13:23 PM
I think the ones that know how to have and maintain relationships are still married...lol
Every once in a while a good one comes along...lol
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 36
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/19/2009 9:23:33 PM
There's tons of people your age range available to date... maybe just not in your area.
I am beginning to believe we who cannot find anyone are just stuck in the wrong area. We get all the great e-mails and connections from people far away. That should be a clue. Anyways, good luck! I hope you find somebody who will make you happy.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 37
what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/19/2009 11:11:25 PM
I'll be 40 next yr. Our options are getting awfully thin aren't they? Offline I get alot of what I call "gimme a breaks". I went to China Buffet last week and here's this dirty lookin fat guy staring at me.
 Drizzt4You
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 38
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/19/2009 11:19:24 PM
That's right Nietzschean. At forty the pecker falls off and the coochie dries up and closes. So begin the count down, feeble human. Only five more years till your pecker drops off. I figure the only dramatic change this will bring in your life is that you will have to pee sitting down.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am going to say this and only this....

That was wrong on so many levels, but funny as hell. I laughed my ass off.

Now as for the post, I don't think, other than that poor misguided fool up there, that all of this doom and glom stuff is neccesary at all. I am 43, I don't want to date women in thier mid twenties. I would much rather date a woman around my age. I could date women younger, but I have a damn difficult time holding an intelligent conversation with 90% of them. So I stick to my guns and stay a little picky about who I want to date.
There were so many good posts on this site, on this paticular subject, that I ended up going out and looking at profiles of both the women and the men who wrote some of the intelligent responses. If you didn't get anything else from this post, you got some fantastic advice and a widly varied oppinionated response from people of all diferent walks of life.
BTW - I consider myself a nice guy, not bad to look at, and more than semi intelligent. I am looking for the exact same thing the rest of you are and I wish you all the very best in your search.

I'm still laughing about that comment above....I didn't know that satan was allowed to get on here and post replies....

Bubbles needs to some private time to coach that poor fella...something...
 goracer
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 39
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 4/20/2009 5:29:37 PM
I only read of few of the replies but people stop going out in their 30's. Try hitting a night club and see how much of a culture or age shock it is. How many girls have the "X" under 21 stamp? Anyone over 25 is considered old. so where do you go? I have no idea but when going to a club is work instead of fun then unless you want sugar babies the clubs aren't where it's at.

Someone else mentioned a similar experience. Since most of the women I meet are under 21 I remember one of them asking what was wrong with me sisnce I was never married and never had kids. It used to be you would ask what was wrong with a guy for being divorced or a girl for being a single mom. Everything is backwards. Just like BJ's are like tounge kissing to the under 25 crowd and the over 30 crowd would have killed for one at that age. Anyhow getting off topic. Everyone is tired of going out and playing the odds. It's not fun anymore, it's a chore. Yes there are single over 30 or over 40 but if you are single, never married, no kids then being the same age doesn't matter as you won't want to mate up with someone that has had three kids all voer 18, been divorced and no intention of having any more for you. Even a girl half my age that's had several kids and divorced feels backwards as her life experience and expectations are completely different.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 55
what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 6/4/2009 5:05:32 PM
And let the battle of the sexes continue
I mostly come on here for the forum. Yes im guilty as well for mostly given up on the dating side of POF on here. But it does seem from reading that there is very little good said on both sides... Too much bitterness, Same time everyone is looking for basicly same thing. I wonder what happened.. Maybe we were right as teenagers, Adults dont understand\know anything. But then who want to go out with someone who is bitter and pissed off ... People need to smile and laugh more enjoy life. If you meet someone that would realy be great if not you still live a good life. If you are bitter cause you dont get what you want in life all you get is being bitter... Not that anyone else would even care. Smile life if good A good can make a great day.

Alex
 john429
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 57
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:34:39 PM
well sounds like your all babies yet I am 55 and have been thrown back into the dating world after being married 32 years well wish I had some good news for eveyone but lets see wife left 4 years ago and so far I havent even kissed a women yet. word of warning for all you men is that there seems to be some kind of huge scam where younger and sometimes very attractive ladies out of the blue start emailing you......I mean yes I guess it would be a dream at 55 to have a 29 or30 year old emailing you saying she really likes your profile and want to be with you but it is only a dream I did check into this manly cuz I was curious and alo just knew it had to be too good to be true and here is the connection so far have been written to by 11 ladies so far and all of them despite there profiles saying they live in the USA actually live in differnt parts of africa and have some sad story about being stuck there for various reasons and need financial aid to get home also of course they promise that if you help them its like they are yours for life.Now before you women start to judgeme let me make this clear I dont do any other dating service except this and No it hasnt happened here I do have a my space only because my daughter lives in NH and she puts pictures of my 2 lovely grand childern up so I can veiw so it seems these sharks just go searching for older men that are alone...please though would be interested in hearing if any of you other men have ran into this or is there something simioalr happening to all you women ? well good luck on the dating game and PS am still very much available ladies and still not even kissed in 4 years lol
 john429
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 58
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 6/5/2009 2:09:30 PM
lol sorry wasnt picking you out as a baby was saying in gen. like the lady that said she was just about to turn 40, thats kinda a baby from 55 well not a baby but still if she thinks life or dating will be bad at 40 what wil happen when she is 50 or older lol thanks
 One4Soul
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 63
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what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:37:58 PM
I'll tell you what happens. The same things that happened at 30 and 40. I'm 48 years young and I have a life. A darned interesting life at that. I found out a long time ago that I didn't need a man to validate myself, but that I wanted one to share my world. My children are grown and have made me a grandmother and I now have the time to spend with someone who is special to me. Sure I'd like to marry again someday. I truly miss being a part of something special. But until he finds me, I'll just keep dating myself and chillaxing with my girls. So if you're out there, come find me already!
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