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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 3
Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I am excited because:

1. I don't have to discuss or check in with someone to do (or not do) anything.
2. I have as much space and free time as I want.
3. I'm not wondering why I am with someone I don't particularly like.
4. I don't have to justify friendships, male or female to anyone.
5. I get to sleep in my bed, alone. I won't wake anyone if I get up at 3 am and want to watch TV...I won't bother someone if I want to get up early, or sleep in.
6. I don't have to wonder where food in my fridge went. If it's gone - it's because I ate it.
7. I don't have to have pointless arguments about something because someone else is having a sensitive day (I thought women were supposed to be the ones who did this type of thing).
8. I won't get dragged to a family function or an event I don't want to attend, nor will I get asked why someone isn't being taken to any of my family functions or events.

Those are all off the top of my head....I'm sure I could come up with another 30 if I really put my mind to it...
 cannpeters
Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 7
Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/10/2009 3:09:10 PM
Here are SOME reasons:

- I don't have to check in with anyone at a certain time of day and have him get upset if something I did took longer than I thought it would.
- I don't have to justify talking to a guy friend.
- I can sleep in my big bed alone.
- I don't have one of those guys who cannot give me my space breathing down my neck.
- I don't have to go somewhere/do something I really don't want to just to make someone happy.
- I can stay up late and get up late, whenever I would like.
- I don't have to convince someone I really do like him and no, I'm not looking for someone else.
- I don't have to justify how I spend my money to anyone but me.
- I can dine out as often as I like and not have to justify this to anyone.
- I can eat whatever I want and not have a man "suggest" I cut back on my eating (Okay only one guy ever did this to me but it bothered me so much).
- I don't have to cook dinner if I don't want to.
- I can go out of town whenever I can schedule it.
- I don't have to worry about petty arguments.
- Basically, I can do what I want to!

Just a few. Some may sound negative, and really, I haven't had anyone do all those things. Just some here and there. I like being single. Being in a relationship is great, too. Both have perks!
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 13
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/10/2009 5:08:57 PM

Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!

I can always have anchovies on my pizza with nary a second thought.

And rolls of TP seem to last much longer when there's not a woman around.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 17
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/10/2009 7:11:11 PM
Losing the ex was rough. However I found myself being very excited about being single again before the divorce was even finalized. I was not hunting for the next relationship, I just enjoyed the freedoms. I'm a bit weird though too. I am relativly sucessful but was too lazy to drive 35 miles to the nearest "classy" drinking establishment, Applebees so I went to my town's local social spot. Funny to see the games, would not act a fool for the women but really truly did enjoy myself drinking tequilla+mountain dew, meeting new people, and going home alone ;)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:02:49 PM

Sepia777 and WomanInProgress covered all that Excites me to be Single (divorced).

The only down side to life alone is lack of Sexual Intimacy/cuddling/kissing….

I'd think so too if I were the type that had to be in a serious thing to have sex, or who needed intimacy or the whole cuddling romantic thing. I get around that just fine.

But on point, doesn't it seem wrong to any of you, that most of those lists (sans the man ho and similar comments) should be normal in or out of a relationship. Seem to me if you have a long list, you weren't very communicative in your last relationship if these minor things iritated your partner.

I'd agree but it seems that if I want to keep the things on my list and have a relationship, I end up feeling like I have to choose between them, so the list wins. If I can do all of these things within a relationship - then I'll be a lot more likely to consider signing on.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 22
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/10/2009 10:32:55 PM
I don't do well in a restrictive environment, so being in a couple is not natural to me. I love to do what I want, when I want, and absolutely hate having to explain myself or give an itinerary.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 28
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/11/2009 9:04:12 AM
I have not thought about this in this way. Comfortable about being single, yes, excited about it, no.

I think there is a difference between the excitement expressed in the OP which seems healthy and the things that people like about being single. Seems to me if you like some of those too much you will wind up single because anyone you meet has the potential to encroach on those things that one values so highly.

You gotta also look at that list and how jaded you are. We check in with our children, do we resent them for it, and yet we have had a relationship deteriorate to the point that having someone in our lives that we want to keep in touch with, know what they will and won't be doing that day or that week, is a pain in the ass to us? Something not quite right about that kind of thinking if we are in good healthy relationships, it is natural, not a chore but if we don't recognize a problem in our own attitudes doesn't it eventually just become a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Everyone needs space, is it possible to be happy as part of a couple and have those things you love about being single only a small percentage of the time?

I don't know, I think a positive frame of mind about how my life is now, being excited about my life, would be a better way for me to look at it than being excted about being single.
 PaMike1200
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 32
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/11/2009 5:38:52 PM
Being single is good . I enjoy the fact that I have no one to blame but myself if somthing goes wrong. Single equals freedom. Single means I have no one to answer to. Single means I can go somewhere without having to wait an hour while she puts on her face. Single means I can go out with friends without getting the 3rd degree when I can home. Single means that my job is not more important than her. The list goes on and on.
On the other hand, I would not mind if I had some restrictions. Who doesn't mind leaving work knowing they have a loving partner waiting for them when they return home. Someone who can turn a bad day into a good day. Someone who will stand behind you. Somone who loves you for who you are.
Yes, many of us 'singles' would like the comfort of knowing there is somone waiting for us.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 37
Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/12/2009 7:28:04 AM

excited.No way. I hate being single..well maybe its because Iv always been single.

If you've always been single how can you hate it? Wouldn't you have to have been not single (and blissfully happy) to know you hate it? If you don't know what it's like to be involved, how can you be sure it's better?

If everyone on here is happy to be single....why are we on here??????

Forum participation, entertainment, remaining open to someone while not trying to hunt someone down, not dating/hiding profile, not single, etc.

Not everyone on THIS dating site MUST be trying to date - if so the options that exist wouldn't be there.

Both quotes above are sheer projection. One CAN be happy single yet be open to someone that's worth considering, just as one can be happy involved if it's as good as or better than your single life (and that's not always the case). Being happy either way is healthier. As another poster pointed out earlier - your status should not define you or your ability to be happy. YOU should.
 Mr Bain
Joined: 12/6/2004
Msg: 41
Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/12/2009 1:48:12 PM
I've commitment phobia since I was an infant. Always afraid of getting attached.

That's why when I broke up with my girlfriend, for that first weekend I felt a sense of happy-go-lucky freedom that no one could take away.

Then after a year of no relationships, I went back to feeling empty.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 42
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/12/2009 8:02:39 PM
The excitement wore off about three years after my divorce...and about three years after my last LTR..hmmm..I must have a cycle...lol...

Being single is great for most of the reasons other people listed...but, most of those reasons, IMO, aren't that big deal in the scheme of things..I'd rather give some of that stuff up, as cool as it can be...in a trade for someone to love, and love me back.

My personal philosophy is: while I manage just fine on my own...I'd prefer to have someone to share it with, and I think most things are better shared. I also believe that part of my (spiritual) reason for "being", in life, is to love. All kinds of love. But, I really miss the one on one love for an SO. And sharing a life...

This appears to be a "bad" thing to say for single women of the 2000's , at least on the forums. I know admitting the need for love seems to be. While, I have supported myself, and made all the decisions on my own, for many years, and while I am not unhappy or in despair, or in a rush to just be with anyone...I honestly think I am a better person both emotionally and spiritually when I have someone to love and have someone to focus on besides myself. It is easy to become selfish, self centered, when all you have to worry about is yourself. It is also easier to become so set in your ways, you might have trouble adapting if someone special did come along ( something I personally worry about lately).

I know I am self sufficient, self supporting, and I know this is a "Dirty" word on here...independent...lol...but, it is rather a matter of you do what you need to do to survive, rather than a preference. I already know I can and will if it turns out I have to take care of only myself by myself, and more sad, live without love...but, I do not want to.

For those who really love being single, and have no desire to change...I have no quarrel with you at all...good for you...but, for those , like me, who would prefer, and who aren't afraid to say so, to not be single, but, rather part of a loving couple...I don't know when that became a bad thing.

And its a shame it did.

(IMO..as always...lol)
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 48
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/14/2009 3:58:49 AM
So I can go fishing at Plentyof fish ocean.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 49
Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/14/2009 5:24:29 AM
No more jealousy and possessiveness.I can wear a mini skirt without hassle.
I dont have to to phone him every day or there is drama.
No more demands to see him more than once a week,-why would you want more??
No more,forgetting I have a life, that does not include him.
No more wanting sleep overs in his place, I like my own bed.

Good list here....and yeah if I can do all this IN a relationship including my earlier list, then ok...I'll consider one.

I'll agree tho that we should all be excited to be alive - single OR involved....
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 55
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/14/2009 6:04:32 PM
My top 10 reasons for being EXCITED!!

#10 - no toilet seat wars
#9 - I know where I put my keys - don't have to worry about his keys
#8 - no Mother in-law jokes
#7 - if I want chip and dip for dinner, no problem
#6 - no chore wars
#5 - not having to account for where I'm at
#4 - not being "fixed"
#3 - can travel whenever and wherever I please
#2 - not having to put up with a "cry baby" if he's sick

and the #1 reason - I HAVE CONTROL OVER THE REMOTE
 otteddybear
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 56
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Why are you EXCITED about being Single?!?!?!
Posted: 4/14/2009 6:14:57 PM
I wouldn't say I'm EXCITED about being single, but I am definitely comfortable with it. I do hope one day to find a man well suited for me to settle down with. But I am in no rush nor am desperate to do so like some people I have run across. I know people who are very unhappy and actually depressed being without a partner. That must be a miserable way to live!
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